She's Asking for It! (15 page)

The general feeling you are trying to create, no matter what the two of you are doing, is that the experience is for his pleasure. Whether his pleasure is making you come over and over, or making you wait and beg, being between your legs actually puts him in a very unique position of power! If he really wants to feel in control, all he needs to do is keep on going when you’re so sensitive you’re begging him to stop.

Oral Skills (on him):

A woman giving a man a blowjob is perhaps one of the most submissive acts possible in a traditional lovemaking repertoire. It can obviously lend itself to all kinds of nasty fun in the alpha male sexual scenarios too.

If you are the type of guy who tends to be shy about getting your lady to go down, it’s time to embrace the experience. Now is the chance to really allow yourself to explore the possibilities of oral play, because if she really wants you to be more aggressive sexually, the blowjob is the place where her desires will be put to the test!

Going down on a man may sound like an easy job for someone who has a penis, but keep in mind that many women have never really been talked through a good blowjob before! Giving her instructions while she’s down there and using your hands to guide her head can be great ways to assert a bit of dominance, but it is also what makes the blowjob the most likely place for you to accidentally go too far.

Encourage her to use her hands on your testicles or wrapped around the base of your penis, so she has some control over the depth of penetration. If you do hold on to the back of her head, try to loosen your grip or let go when you start to get to the “point of no return” – you know, when your hips start thrusting beyond your control and you’re teetering right on the edge? Just tell her how great she’s doing and let her make you feel good!

There are a few different ways to approach fellatio, because it not only makes a great snack or appetizer, but it can also be part of an incredible main course or the dessert that tops of a sexual meal! You might want to urge her to get down on her knees just to get you turned on in the middle of the day, you can suggest she give you a taste during foreplay of the pleasure you’ll take from her body later, you can take a break from intercourse to get a little greedy or the ultimate in alpha maledom, you can finish off with a bang!

No matter when or how you get down to business, being able to talk about what you want and how you want it is imperative. Whatever you do, be sure to talk it out first. She may have rules about what she is willing to do or not do, or she may just need to work up to certain things like deep-throating. Something that difficult can take time to learn, but there are certain things she can do to make it easier!

So ladies, here are a few tricks to take him deep! First off, don’t be afraid of spit. It may seem a bit messy, but hey, good sex is often messy. Instead of trying to swallow all the saliva your mouth full produces, just let it slide on down and create a natural lubricant. Try deep-throating before he gets too eager, because if he’s thrusting it will be harder to control your gag reflex. Try lying on your back with your head over the edge of bed and have your man stand overtop of you. From this angle not only are your hands free to play with him and keep him restrained, but your jaw and throat opens up nice and wide. Last, try making a “canyon” of your throat, like when you yawn and your tongue lowers down, making more space. Don’t go too far, too fast. Take your time and get used to the feel of him, his size and his rhythms.

Chapter 16 - Playing Rough

Now we’re talking! Enough with the foreplay; let’s get into the action! In this section, we’ll talk about all the ways men can be more assertive while having sex. Finally, right?

Just a note for those of you who skipped directly to this section – stop right now. Go back and read the entire book, because it’s there for a reason. There is a lot going on when this powerful male-female dynamic is exercised, and if you don’t understand it all, someone could get hurt – if not physically, than emotionally. Please be smart, communicate, and make sure your relationship outside the bedroom is healthy, happy and solid as a rock.

Public service announcement over, back to our regularly scheduled programming!

The Famous Four

In the world of the amateur alpha male, there are four main items in your repertoire for acceptable physical aggression. That is to say, not every woman will be into every one of these, so be sure to talk if over first. But these four are the perfect starting points for your erotic adventure.

Hair Pulling

You don’t want to yank on her curls like a schoolboy teasing the girl he likes. No, the point of hair-pulling isn’t to provoke but to control. You want to use her hair like a well-attached handle. Hold as much of the hair as possible (all of it if you can) as close to her scalp as possible. Try not to pull the cute little curls at the nape of her neck and just use that hair of hers to show her where you want her. If your woman has short hair, try running your fingers through her hair from the nape of her neck up to cradle her skull, where you can hold on tight.

Biting

When you know how to use your lips to assert your dominance in bed, it’s time to move on to teeth! A little nibble at her lips, her throat, her nipples and her thighs can make her jump and keep her on the edge right where you want her. Start out lightly with a mere pressing of the teeth before you work your way up to anything that might leave a mark. Something that feels really good when the brain is pumped full of endorphins can hurt when the pleasure subsides, so take your time working up to pain play.

Spanking

After successfully making the transition from forceful kissing to biting, you are prepped and ready to take the next step! Spanking may seem a bit weird, especially if you associate it in any way with discipline. Don’t think of your play with your woman in terms of punishment. Liken it instead to the light smack on the bum you might give her when she’s looking especially luscious! The skin, flesh and muscles on her backside connect to all of her most intimate bits, not to mention being covered in an extremely high number of nerve endings. What you’re doing should feel good! Be sure to aim for the most fleshy part of her butt and try to introduce it when you’re already back there, admiring her from behind or in between thrusts.

Breath

“Breath play” is for the experienced only! Having power over the breath means having power over life and death, some serious mojo indeed. But you don’t have to do anything dangerous to play with these kinds of energies. Have you ever noticed how a woman’s breath catches in her throat when a man touches her there. All you have to do is cradle her jaw in your fingers, or hold her by the throat from behind. Catch her off guard that way and spin her around for a passionate kiss. It will literally take her breath away.

Give It To Her Good

Hold on tight and mind the rhythm – those are the two most important rules when it comes to asserting your power during intercourse. The best place to grab on to is usually her hips, where you can both control the speed and depth of her movement. With her on top or on all fours, you can also reach around to grab at her breasts or touch her throat and face.

You want to keep up the dirty talk here and play around with positions. The “missionary position” may be what comes to mind first when you think of male dominant sex, but it is certainly not the be all and end all. You can get her on top, showing herself off in all her gorgeous glory and have her describe how great it feels to be so full. You can take her from behind and tell her how hot she is on all fours being manhandled.

Just don’t take the missionary position for granted, because it can be manipulated in a variety of ways that really push some boundaries of pleasure and experience. These techniques include:

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Put her legs up over his shoulders so she is tipped back (a small pillow under her hips might help) not only puts her in a vulnerable position, but allows you to thrust especially deep and she gets to feel completely full.

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Straighten up while you’re between her legs and keep her knees tight around your hips so she is lifted up from the bed slightly. From here you should have a great angle to thrust extra hard or give her a bit of a spank!

• Push her legs to their widest position while you kneel between them. Hold her ankles tight and use them for leverage.
  
• Press her legs to her chest so her knees frame her face, then balance your weight on feet or shins. With a bit of practice, you should be able to do this hands-free so you can smack her butt, pin her wrists or play with her breasts.
  
• Pinning her hands down beside or above her head by the wrist restricts her movement and allows her to feel ravaged. By using both hands, she is effectively pinned down; by using one hand, you can hold her and still grab a breast, tweak a nipple, caress her face, tickle her clit or finger her.
  
• Lift her towards you and pull her head back ever so slightly, by her hair or her throat, so you can nibble on her throat.
  

Doggie-style sex is great for the alpha male. You have much more control over her in this position.

• Grab a hold of her hips to dictate rhythm and movement, varying speed and depth.
  
• Free hands make for some great spanking!
  
• Lean over to play with her breasts or to play with her clit.
  
• He can cup his hand around her cheek, and force a finger into her mouth for sucking, especially powerful if your finger has some of her own bodily fluids on it.
  
• Doggie-style sex is great for a little bit of ass play, whether fingering or just applying a little bit of pressure. (Just be mindful of where that finger goes next. Cleanliness first.)
  

When the Time is Right

The trick to timing, when you start to get the hang of your new alpha male status, is to determine those special hours when you are feeling extra-masculine yourself. For example, are you feeling testosterone-y after a pickup basketball game with the guys or a hard workout? Let her experience your sweaty, manly self and your finely toned muscles. Keep a journal (with food, exercise, mood, activities, etc. to see if you can pinpoint some triggers).

Or, how about that morning wood? Put it to good use and ravish her! Now that’s the way to start a day.

Depending on your desired need for comfort and your comparative sizes, there are many places in the home where some quick-and-dirty rough sex can be had. Sometimes just getting out of the bedroom is enough to start spicing things up! Spontaneity and lust are all you need. When a man wants his woman, he doesn’t care where they are or what they are doing – he’s going to take her and have his way with her!

• Bend her over the sofa armrest and do her from behind. The same goes for the kitchen counter and dining room table.