Shiver (5 page)

I blinked my eyes and looked back up to see him chewing his full bottom lip as he studied me in return. Before my mind could start to travel yet again, I grinned and reached across the table to shake on it.

“I’m in and so excited! Thank you so much.”

A wide smile spread across his face—he was genuinely happy—as he reached for me. When that warm, callused hand enfolded mine, there was a jolt of electricity that made my heart beat a little faster and the noise from the bar fade away. His smile faded as he resumed working his lip between his teeth, and my eyes lingered there. The waitress slid the check onto the table, breaking our connection and stopping me from saying something I probably would have regretted.

“Great.” Ethan, visibly flustered, busied himself by reaching around to his back pocket—to his wallet. “All settled. We can work on any paperwork tomorrow.”

With little other conversation, he paid the check, and we parted ways with a wave in the parking lot. As I climbed into my truck, I pulled out my phone to text Steph.

Me: Got a new job

Steph: Strip club?

Me: Yes. In West Virginia. Super excited.

Steph: lol! You should fit right in. Ok no really. What’s the job?

Me: Not sure how I feel about your first statement but Ethan offered me assistant trainer!

Steph: Wow! That’s awesome. Like a real job?

Me: Indeed. Celebrate? Bring bubbles?

Steph: Be at your place in 30!

Chapter 7

I
rolled into the barn the next morning, bleary-eyed and teensy bit hungover. Steph and I had spent the evening drinking cheap champagne, eating Oreos, and watching horribly wonderful girly movies. And by evening, I mean until two in the morning. I have no idea why.

I shook it off and walked into the tack room to the chalkboard. On it was my list of horses to ride. There were ten of them with their assigned tasks next to their names. Ten. I guessed it was time to be a real rider again. I switched from my flip-flops to my boots and spurs, zipped my jacket up a little higher, and pulled on my helmet.

Walking out to the horses, I greeted them and José. He had my first horse ready and waiting for me in the wash stall. A girl could get spoiled with this. Ethan was nowhere in sight.

As I swung into the saddle, I asked José casually, “So, where’s Ethan this morning?”

“He texted he would be a little late this morning.”

Huh. I realized I hadn’t seen his car in his driveway as I passed by earlier. It was only seven a.m. Aaaahh… I didn’t want to think about this.

“Okay.
Gracias
, José.” I smiled brightly.

“You’re welcome.” He grinned back.

I put any mental images about why Ethan wasn’t home this early in the morning out of my head and continued on about my business. My own business. Because what he did was none of my business.

At ten a.m., I was getting on my fourth horse when Ethan shuffled in, wearing the same thing he’d had on the night before and unshaven, with messy hair and a pale tinge to his skin.

“Morning!” I said loudly, figuring he deserved my level of volume for whatever he was doing. “Where have you been? You look like shit.” It was only partly true. ’Cause scruffy Ethan was still pretty hot.

He rubbed his hands over his face and then just sort of looked at me oddly. “Uhhh, I stopped by a party last night. It got late and I crashed. I didn’t think to set an alarm. Sorry I’m late.”

That was weird. The Ethan I knew would never let anything interfere with work the next day. It was kind of the horseman’s code. Thou shalt be at work on time even whenst hungover or still drunk.

“Oh, I figured you picked up the hot-dog waitress that was drooling all over you,” I said, laughing awkwardly.

He glanced sideways at me quickly, then winced a little. “I’m pretty sure she’s not even legal. Give me some credit.”

Phew.

“Okay, well, you seem grumpy. I’ll leave you to go finish my rides. My day is almost halfway over now, and as yours is just starting, you may as well get to it.” I laughed and rode away. There’s always something fun about torturing hungover people.

I spent the next several hours on and off different horses, some of them doing dressage in the ring, some going for trot sets out on the hills and dirt roads. It was fun to do some real riding. On my last set, Ethan walked out to the arena as I was warming the horse up.

“Feel up to jumping?” he called out.

I pulled up to a walk. I felt like I hadn’t jumped in forever, but it was about my favorite thing to do next to breezing racehorses.

“I’d love to. I can’t promise I’m going to be any good though. It’s been way too long.”

“Don’t worry about that. Just get the feel for it again.”

For the next half hour, Ethan set small jumps into a course for me, coaching me through my timing and rustiness. He was a better coach than I’d realized. Picky, but patient. When we decided to call it a day and end on a high note, I patted the gelding’s neck, thanking him for putting up with my practice session.

“Good work,” Ethan said as he walked over.

I hopped off to run my stirrups up and loosened the girth. “Thanks. I really appreciate the coaching more than I can say. You don’t really need to take the time out to do that.”

“As I’ve said, I’m happy to help. And it only benefits me. And besides, you just need a few more hours in the saddle to make up what you missed when you were laid up. It’s no big deal; we’ve all been there.”

I nodded. “I didn’t feel as awkward as I thought I would.”

“You didn’t look awkward at all. And also I thought getting to jump would butter you up for the rest of the day.”

I raised an eyebrow. “Why do I need to be buttered up?”

He grimaced a little. “José had to go help his wife with some car troubles. I was wondering if you could help finish up the barn with me?” he asked hopefully. “I’m not sure if you have other plans.”

“Oh, no. No plans, that is. I can help, no problem. All part of the job.”

He let out a small breath. “That’s great. Thank you. I wasn’t really looking forward to doing it myself,” he said with a sheepish grin.

I laughed. “I bet. How’s your head?”

“It could be worse. Probably should be, considering the abuse I put myself through.”

“Hmmm.”

“What’s that for?”

I just looked at him for a moment. “I’m not sure.”

We spent the next couple of hours doing barn chores. They’re the things that ordinarily would have been done while we were riding, but since we were pulling double duty, everything was left to the end. We divided and conquered feeding, blanketing, turning out, waters, hay, tack, and stalls. It was cold and dark and late by the time we were done, and I flopped myself down onto a trunk in the office, exhausted. Ethan, sitting in his office chair, rolled over to the mini fridge and grabbed two beers, tossing one over to me. I cracked it open and took a long drink, scrubbing my hands over my face as I leaned back against the wall.

“Are you ready for Christmas?” I asked. I would be heading back to Texas in a few days to spend the holiday with my parents’.

“Um, I guess. It’s really just another day for me. I’ll hang out with Charlie for you and take over the barn so José can have time with his family. I’ve always felt like Christmas was for families more than anything.” He shrugged, effectively closing the topic.

“I have a confession,” I said after a long pause, staring at the beer bottle I was twirling in my hands.

I felt Ethan looking at me.

“What’s that?” he asked cautiously, taking a sip.

“I hate beer.”

He choked on his drink, laughing. “Why didn’t you say anything? We drink beer all the time!”

I took another drink. “Horse people are supposed to drink beer. Or take shots. I’m the uncoolest horse person ever. I love wine. A lot. In big, long-stemmed glasses. Love it.” My voice got a little dreamy as I thought about it.

“Can I ask you a question?”

“Course.”

“Why are you still drinking beer then?”

I laughed. “Well, it has its purposes. And I mean, I also really enjoy alcohol at the end of the day. I can’t buy it, technically. I figure beggars can’t be choosers. Everyone always has beer on hand. But I don’t love it.”

“Hmmmmm.”

I cocked a brow at that. “What’s that supposed to mean?”

“What do you love? Besides wine, anyway.”

“Ha! I love champagne.” I grinned. “Umm, the usual, I suppose. My family, my dog, riding. There’s not much else.”

“Do you? Love riding?”

I looked again at him, puzzled. “Of course I do. It’s… it’s what I do.”

“Don’t get me wrong, you’re very good at it. I’m asking honestly. Do you really love it? Are you passionate enough about it to do it the rest of your life?”

I pondered that one for longer than I probably should have. “I really am passionate about it. I guess I’m just trying to figure out how I want to go about it. I started out so young competing. It was just what we all did. And I don’t know why I didn’t enjoy it. I liked the idea. I liked the rush. But I would sometimes get to the night before a show, wondering why the heck I was doing it. What was the point? I still don’t know.”

I frowned, thinking. “When I started exercising racehorses, I found something I could really connect to. I was happy on the younger horses, the wilder ones. Sitting on them for their first time, breaking out of the gates for the first time, the speed. In a way it was very simple to teach them what they needed to know. Without all the pressures and other outside forces, it was just me and them. I could feel them, what they needed, how to get the job done. So uncomplicated.” I sighed. “I was good at it. That was a nice feeling.”

“How do you feel about what you’re doing now?”

“Honestly? I enjoy it, but I still feel like I’m floundering a bit. Like I’m always looking for instructions rather than just knowing what to do.” I drank the rest of my beer, grimacing just a tad from the taste and my admission. “But…” I stood up abruptly, gathering up my things and tossing the bottle in the trash. “Those are first-world problems. I’ll figure it all out. And in the meantime, I need sleep. See you tomorrow?”

“Mmmhmm. See you tomorrow. Thanks for everything today.” Ethan was looking at me thoughtfully but didn’t offer up anything else. So with a smile, I turned and walked out to my truck, whistling for Charlie. Ready for home.

Chapter 8

T
he next couple of days flew by, and before I knew it, Steph and I were standing at the airport, in line to board our flight. She’d been spending Christmas with me for the past couple of years, ever since her parents’ divorce. To say she wasn’t close with either of them would be a major understatement. My family has completely taken her in as one of our own though, and we’ve always had a great time. Plus with our schedules recently, we had barely seen each other, so I was looking forward to spending some quality time.

As we settled into our tiny seats at the back of the plane, she glanced at me quickly. “So. I met someone.”

“What? Why are you just telling me now?” I was actually a tiny bit hurt that she was just now bringing this up and also realized my feelings made me a hypocrite since I still hadn’t told her about anything with Ethan.

“Eh, it’s new. Well, it’s nothing right now. I just met him at the coffee shop in town. He asked me for my number, and he seemed nice. So I gave it to him. I’m going to a New Year’s Eve party with him.”

“Hey! We always spend New Year’s together!”

“You’re invited too! Yeesh. I wouldn’t do that to you!” She laughed.

“Oh good! You scared me for a minute. I thought maybe we were fighting.”

“No, you’d know for sure if we were fighting. And we never would.”

“True.” I nodded.

“And even more fun, this party is black-tie! It won’t be wild and crazy, but we do get to dress up!”

I actually squeaked a little and bounced in my seat in excitement, much to the annoyance of our fellow passengers. Totally dorky, but I was a girl and I spent most of my days in boots and breeches and covered in dirt. An excuse to get dolled up was always high on my list.

“Who is this guy?”

“Some new investment banker or something. Paul somebody. I don’t know. He was wearing a suit and tie, and he was hot. I didn’t even try to play hard to get.”

I snorted with laughter.

“I think it’s some fund-raiser thing,” she continued. “Probably save the polar bears or the deer tick. But whatever. It’s free for us. I take it you’re in?”

“Duh. My mom can take us shopping in Dallas! Shoot, I wish we had more time. But most places are open Christmas Eve morning. We can pop out!”

Steph clapped her hands. “Yay!”

We spent the rest of the flight catching up since we’d both been so busy. Steph worked part-time at a riding program for special-needs kids and had one year left in school to become a physical therapist before she could specialize in hippotherapy. Whenever I had a chance, I would run over and volunteer, which unfortunately hadn’t been much lately. It was amazing to see the kids light up when they sat on a horse. She talked excitedly about some of the new kids but was worried about funding and finding enough quiet horses to keep the program going since they relied so heavily on donations.

The flight went quickly, and before we knew it, we were landing smoothly at DFW. We grabbed our bags and headed out to the curb where my mom was waiting excitedly. She hugged us both before we could even set our stuff down, then ordered us into the car. She was not one to sit around.

“So,” she began as we buckled our seat belts. “Flight was good?”

“Yep! Went fast,” I responded as Steph agreed from the backseat. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’m good. Getting all the food prepped for tomorrow.” She went on to list every meal we’d be having while we were in town. It was always all about the food. I loved it. Before Christmas dinner was over, we’d be discussing next year’s meal plan.

“Oh, Mom! Can I ask a huge favor?” I batted my eyes at her.

She looked at me from the driver’s seat, lips pursed humorously. “Maybe.”

“Well, Steph met a boy.” I grinned as Steph kicked the back of my seat. “And he has invited us to a black-tie New Year’s party. So we thought maybe we could run out as soon as stores open tomorrow and you could help us pick something out?”

My mom paused for a second and then pulled out her phone. “I can do better than that. I’ll call Sherrilynn and have her pull out a few things from the boutique. It’s only three thirty. We can run straight there if you girls don’t mind. That way you can help me with all the cooking tomorrow!” She smiled victoriously.

Well played. But excellent regardless.

We pulled up at my mom’s favorite shop. They always had something that would work for every occasion, and the owner was a genius. She greeted us at the door and hustled us into a large dressing room where two stacks of dresses were laid out. She’d helped us before, so we knew that everything would fit and look amazing. It was just a matter of choosing which one. It’s speed-shopping, and yes, we were terribly spoiled.

In less than twenty minutes, Steph had settled on a cream-colored satin sheath with a black lace overlay that floated around her. It was strapless and looked stunning on her lean frame. I found a dark green halter dress that hugged my curvier five-foot-five-inch self and showed some cleavage without actually being indecent, dipping very low in the back. There was a slight train to it, and I wanted to wear it every single day. We both already had shoes that would work, so we bought the dresses and were out the door. Gotta love Dallas.

My dad was waiting for us at their condo when we arrived, again with the big hugs and an embarrassingly romantic kiss for my mom. My parents were inspiring. They were a very attractive couple, both with salt-and-pepper hair that had gotten a little heavier on the salt. They were very fit and had always been very in love. A wonderful example for life. My mom used to be a teacher, but then stayed home to raise three little kids. I was the baby. My dad developed hotel properties all around the world, and I’d never figured out exactly what he did, except he traveled a lot, was a great father, and humiliated us any time we went to a place and wound up with bad service. He couldn’t tolerate it.

Just as soon as we got our greetings over with and dropped our bags in the guest room, the front door burst open and everybody tumbled in. First my brother, Patrick, and his Labradoodle puppy, and my sister, Annie, and her husband, Rob, with twin three-year-old boys (terrifying, right?). Lucius careened into me first, leaping up and licking my entire face in one swoop. I’m actually referring to the dog. After that, my nephews bombarded us as well. It was loud and chaotic and confusing, and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Thank goodness my sister, ever prepared, had brought enough pizza to feed an army. We all sat on the floor, dove in, and caught up. Even though we were all consistently involved in a group family text, Steph included, it was nice to speak in person. Especially with the kids. They mostly loved me because I could make good on the promise of pony rides.

Steph talked with my parents at the bar while I sat back and watched as Nathan and Abe happily crammed cheese into their mouths. I’d spent as much time as distance would allow with these kids from the time they were born, and I’d learned that boys and girls are… different. Totally different ball game from day one. And we wonder why it’s so hard to make relationships work.

Nathan shuffled over to me and crawled into my lap, telling me all sorts of nonsense about his day and telling me how much he loved my hair. It wasn’t actually special. He told everyone that. As we chatted, Annie came over and plopped down beside me.

“So.” She grinned and bumped my shoulder. “How’s Ethan?”

I rolled my eyes. “He’s fiiiine.”

Annie couldn’t believe there wasn’t some secret romance going on and believed we were going to fall for each other and live happily ever after. She and Ethan had actually met when I was renting a room from him. Introducing them was the worst mistake ever. She’d never shut up about it since. Of course, I hadn’t told her about our more recent history. My sister and I could talk about anything except our sex lives. There’s only so much you need to know about your siblings.

“Mmmhmm.”

“You’re so weird. He’s my boss. And he’s like seven years older than me. Nothing that’s going on in your head is happening in real life.” Well, kind of, anyway. Depended on where her mind went. Shudder.

“Mmmhmm.”

“Shut up.”

I poked her side and walked over to Patrick to sit next to him. “Sup.” I bumped shoulders with him. “How’s med school?”

He groaned. “It sucks. Big-time.”

“Have you seen anything gross?”

“I’ve seen a lot of gross. Whiskey enemas, multiple baby daddies, tattoos gone wrong, things put in places things shouldn’t go, girls coming in for pelvic exams just for fun…” He trailed off as my eyes widened.

“Whiskey enemas?”

He shrugged. “It’s a thing.”

“Any girls?”

“Speaking of gross. No, I won’t talk to you about girls.”

I rolled my eyes at him dramatically.

“What about you?” he asked. “Annie won’t shut up about your boss.”

“Oh for the love of… You guys are ridiculous.”

“He’d better not be messing with you,” he said, suddenly stern.

I snorted. “Or what?”

“I am your big brother, and I will kick his ass.”

“Stop.” I held up a hand. “There’s nothing going on. He’s my boss.”

“I don’t believe you. But you are my sister, and I’m the only one allowed to mess with you.”

“That’s really sweet.”

He nodded. “I know.”

There’s nothing like spending time with family, if only for a few days.