Silence (12 page)

Chapter Twelve

Oakley

I felt so sick that we were almost back in England. The holiday was officially over. Cole and I would have to pretend that nothing was going. I had to figure out how Dad would react when we did eventually tell everyone. Would he be okay with me and Cole being together? He had already said that I was growing up, and he did seem to be giving me more freedom. Was he really ready to let me go?

Cole was glancing out of the airplane window with a sad smile. What was he thinking? Usually he was such an open book, but when it came to the two of us, I had no idea. I sat back in my seat and tried to act as if it wasn’t driving me crazy.

“I hate the end of holidays,” Mia grumbled beside me. “The plane home is the most depressing thing ever.”

I couldn’t have agreed more. Reality was the worst. I would rather live in that holiday-state, where everything was perfect, forever. Nothing was perfect, though. I knew that. I couldn’t even fool myself into believing that I could have anything even close to perfection.

“How’d it go?” Cole asked Jasper, smirking as he sat down on the row of seats beside ours. Jasper had seen a ‘smoking hot’ girl as we boarded the plane. As soon as we took off, he made it his mission to go find her.

Jasper’s eyes lit up.

“I just joined the mile high club!” he boasted.

Just what I wanted to hear! I grimaced and looked past Cole and out of the window.

“Of course you did!” Mia scoffed. Mia and Jasper argued like brother and sister. She hated his womanising but sympathised with the reason behind it. Jasper gave up on his cheating ex; Mia couldn’t bring herself to do the same.

“Jealousy doesn’t suit you, Mia.”

“You think I’m jealous of you screwing some random in a smelly plane toilet? Wow, you really are up your own arse,” she argued, shaking her head.

“Firstly, the toilet wasn’t smelly, and secondly, I got her name first, so she wasn’t random. It was one of the best experiences of my life. The girl could sure–”

“Thank you!” Cole snapped. “We don’t need your dirty details!”

I pressed my leg against his and smiled, thanking him for stopping my brother talking. Jasper didn’t seem to have a filter for when he was in the company of people who might not want to hear about his exploits, or any kind of filter, actually.

For the rest of the plane ride, I just looked out of the window. A huge quilt of cloud hid most of the sky, but it was still peaceful. It also provided me with something to do rather than listen to Jasper go on about how many times he had scored on holiday.

Cole listened to him and laughed a few times. I wondered if he wanted to do those things, like having sex outside or on a plane. That wasn’t for me. Cole had made sex feel normal and beautiful, but I didn’t think I would ever be one of those people that had to have it everywhere, all the time. I hoped that I could be enough for him.

The plane landed too soon, and I followed my family down the stairs of the plane and into the airport. My heart sank as we stopped to pick up our suitcases. All I wanted to do was get back on that plane and go back to Italy. Cole seemed to sense my mood and stepped closer to me.

I hoped that we would get to spend some time alone before we told everyone. Everything would change then. We wouldn’t be allowed to be alone in our rooms, and they would be checking up on us all the time. I was worried how people would react. I knew people wouldn’t understand why he would want to be with me. I didn’t either. Would people be weird with him? Try to convince him he can do better?

“It’s
gonna be okay,” he whispered smoothly into my ear. I nodded in agreement, although I wasn’t convinced, and grabbed my suitcase from the conveyor belt.

Once everyone had their bags; we walked to the long stay car park, where we had left the cars. “Are you coming with me, Oakley?” Mia asked as she unlocked her car.

I nodded and handed my suitcase to Dad’s outstretched hand. I got in the back with Cole and took one last look at the airport.

“You drive,” Mia shouted, throwing her keys to Jasper. I wanted to switch cars. Jasper drove like a stereotypical boy racer and it terrified me. How he hadn’t crashed already, I had no clue.

“Buckle up, kids,” Jasper chirped, smiling with wide eyes. I did buckle my seatbelt, and then double-checked it. Whoever gave him his licence should be fired. Gripping the door handle as Jasper revved the engine, I said a silent prayer and closed my eyes.

By the time we got home, it was getting dark. The sky was a dark moody blue, the shade it usually turns before a storm. It made me miss Italy even more. While everyone fussed around getting the suitcases out of the cars, I wrapped my jacket around myself as I felt all the anxieties and fears inside of me resurface. Back
to normal.

“Right, we’d better get inside,” Dad ordered, with what felt like a pointed look at me. “We all could do with an early night.” That meant I couldn’t hang out with Cole any more tonight.

“Yes,” Mum agreed, and started saying goodnight to Jenna.

Cole pulled me into his arms. No one even batted an eyelid. They had seen us give each other friendly hugs all the time.

“I’ll see you in the morning. I love you,” he whispered in my ear.

We smiled at each other as we stated walking in opposite directions to our houses. Mum unlocked the front door and ushered us inside.

“You tired, love?”

I nodded, and she kissed my cheek.

“Okay, off to bed then.”

I wasn’t going to disagree. Spending the evening with Mum and Dad wasn’t something I wanted to do, and Jasper would just play his computer until he collapsed. I changed into my pyjamas and climbed straight into bed. Stretching out my arms and legs like a starfish, I suddenly wished Cole
was with me. The bed seemed too big now I was alone.

As soon as I pulled the cover up to my chin and wrapped it around me like a cocoon, my phone beeped. Cole, I thought with a smile.

‘I miss you! Doesn’t feel right you’re not with me. Be ready at 8 tomorrow. I love you. X’

I couldn’t wait until eight o’clock, whatever it was for. I clicked reply and contemplated sending: I love you too. How bad could it be to send one text message? Dropping my phone on the bed with a soft thud, I pressed my face into the pillow and started crying silently.

I woke up in the morning and my head was pounding from crying so much. Checking my phone for the time, I squinted my eyes at the sudden light. 9:52am. Wow, I’d slept in late. I pushed myself up and rubbed my eyes. Someone laughed, making me jump. I recognised Cole’s laugh immediately. 

“And here I was thinking you’d be ready by now,” he said, grinning in amusement. “You alright? You look tired.” He sat down and tucked my hair behind my ear, frowning in concern as he saw my swollen eyes.

“Have you been crying? Oakley, what’s going on? Are you okay?” I nodded. He pulled me close to him. “You want to go out? We don’t have to. We can just hang around here if you want?”

I shook my head and got up off the bed. I grabbed some clothes out of my drawer and held a finger up at Cole.

“Yeah, like you’ll actually be ready in one minute,” he called after me as I ran to the bathroom to shower and get dressed.

A speedy wash later, I walked out of the bathroom door, and straight into Cole. I gasped at how close he was. He looked down at me lovingly. I stepped closer and ran my hands up his chest and around his neck.

Cole swallowed loudly, his arms winding around my back. His head lowered slowly until he was just an inch away from me.

“I love you,” he whispered. I squirmed at that intense feeling that was back in the pit of my stomach. It was almost becoming too much, so I pulled away. I loved him, and I wanted him, but I didn’t want to want him so much. I felt like I shouldn’t.

“Come on. We need to leave. It’s
gonna take a while to get there.”

A while to get where?
I thought as I grabbed my jacket and hairband.

I raised my eyebrows at him when we got in the car, asking where we were going.

“We’re going to London,” he said casually. I blinked hard. London? I stared at him waiting for an explanation.

Cole shrugged. “You always wanted to go to that creepy Madame
Tussauds place and on the London Eye.”

Wow. He planned a whole day out to London because I had mentioned I wanted to go there. I could barely keep my eyes off him as he drove the two-hour journey to London. He chewed on the inside of his cheek in concentration as he followed the sat-
nav’s directions. I watched the muscles in his forearms flex as he turned the steering wheel.

The traffic wasn’t bad, so we made it in just
under two hours. In London everything was much louder, and faster than the small village I was used to. There were probably more people just in the multi-story car park than in my whole village. I clung to Cole’s hand as he led me to the zebra crossing. Cars, vans, and busses whizzed past us, causing my hair to whip around my face.

Cole paid our entrance fee to Madame
Tussauds, and we made our way around the museum. It turns out a museum full of wax people is a little creepy. I took pictures of most of the wax celebrities, and even made Cole pose with some. He either looked grumpy or pulled a funny face.

He cheered up once we’d eaten, and headed over to the London Eye. I bounced up and down in the queue as we waited for our turn. Cole had booked us tickets online, so we had an allocated time. Our group was next.

A man with a thick black beard called for us to get on.

Tugging on Cole’s hand, I pulled him into the huge glass bubble.
How safe is this?
I wondered, looking up to check that it was attached properly, even though I wouldn’t have a clue if it was or not. Cole leant against the glass. I grabbed his arm, pulling him back. “It’s perfectly safe, babe,” he said with a cheeky grin.

As soon as we started moving, he spun me around and wrapped his arms around my waist, so we were both facing the glass, looking out over London, I could see Buckingham Palace and Big Ben so clearly.
Wow
, I thought, staring in awe. It moved slower than I thought it would, but that was a good thing if I wanted to keep my lunch down. I pressed my back against Cole’s chest and sighed happily.

“Enjoying it?” he asked when we reached the top. I nodded and interlaced my fingers between his. We spent the rest of the ride pointing things out to each other. As soon as we got off we had to head home.

“We’ll come again when we’ll have more time. Maybe for a weekend.”

It was already five in the evening, and with the evening traffic, it would probably take longer to get home than it had to get down there. Shaking my head, I yanked his arm, pulling him closer to me. I’d had an incredible day, even if it wouldn’t last as long as we both wanted it to. The fact that he had whisked me off to London to do two things I wanted was more than enough.

I gripped Cole’s hand as we walked along the street towards the car park. It was getting cooler out, the cold wind bit at my face. My coat was keeping my body warm, but I could feel my lips becoming numb. I couldn’t wait to get into the car and turn the heat on. Relief flooded my system when the car park came into view.

Cole started the ignition, and I cranked the heat up, raising my hands to the vents to warm them up. For the whole way home, I stared at Cole. It was getting dark, the orange glow from the dashboard lit up his features.

“You’re staring again,” he sang, with a half-smile. I nodded, unashamed. I was in love with him, and I wasn’t embarrassed by it.

Two hours and fifteen minutes later, we arrived back at my house. Cole walked me to the door and kissed my cheek before I opened it.

“Tomorrow,” he whispered, and walked back to his car. Tomorrow what? I closed the front door behind me in a happy daze.

“There’s my favourite sister,” Jasper said and paused his computer game, suddenly solemn. “I think we should have a chat about Cole.”

I hadn’t expected this.

“So, I know you’re together.” He raised his eyebrows, and I shook my head to deny it. “Oh please, I can see how you two look at each other. What I want to say is that as much as I joke about it I am a little worried,” he admitted, scratching his jaw nervously.

Worried about what?
Cole would never hurt me. We both knew that. He took a deep breath.

“Cole’s a good guy, but I just wanted you to know that if he ever does do anything to hurt you, you can come to me. I really would cut his balls off you know.” He laughed awkwardly. “You promise me you’ll be careful?”

I nodded quickly, not wanting him to elaborate.

“By careful you know I mean–” I held my hand up and nodded again. Heat rushed to my face. “Okay good, ’cause if you came home pregnant Mum and Dad would freak, and I’d have to move out and support you. Well, glad we sorted this out. Now, I’ve got a date with Carly.”

Remembered her name. Well done, Jasper.
Grabbing his leather jacket he turned to me and said, “You know I love you, right?”