Silence (19 page)

“I know things have been hard, but I want to change that.”

Hard? Hard didn’t even begin to cover it. No word was big enough to describe what he had done. How badly he had let me down and betrayed me. I’d trusted him. He was my hero. I looked up to him and loved him so much. He ruined that. He ripped apart my faith in him and ended my childhood.

“Oakley, I want that relationship back. I want us to do things together, watch a movie, or go to for a bike ride. I want us to do normal father–daughter things. Most of all, I want my little girl back.”

I swallowed a sob and wrapped my arms around myself.
Don’t trust him
, a voice niggled in my head. But I wanted to. I wanted all those things. I wanted to be one of the girls I used to see dragging their dads around shops. I wanted him to be that dad too. I didn’t want my dad to just be a monster.

Could he change though? I wanted him to so bad it hurt.
Give him a chance
, another voice reasoned. Peering up into his eyes I saw how broken he looked. Real emotion or fake? I could usually tell, but I wasn’t sure this time. He looked genuine, but maybe I just wanted him to be so much that I was missing the trap.

“Oakley, my business isn’t doing well at the minute. I’m afraid it will fail. I don’t want to fail at another thing in my life. I don’t want to look at us as a failure anymore. Let me make it up to you. Let’s draw a line in the sand, put the past behind us, and be a proper family. You,
me, your mother and Jasper. I want us to be a happy family again.”

I wanted that too.

“Please give this a chance. Let us get to know each other again.”

Searching his muddy green eyes for any hint of a lie, I sagged. My heart jumped in my chest and hope filled my system.
A normal happy family.

Gulping, I nodded my head, and he smiled.

“Thank you,” he whispered. “Get some sleep, sweetheart, it’s late.”

As he walked out of my room and closed the door, I ducked under my covers. Confused by my own conflicting feelings for my dad, I fell into a restless sleep.

Chapter Nineteen

Cole

I reluctantly went back to my house. I hated that part of the night, the part where I had to leave her. Max and Sarah had said that I couldn’t stay with her until she was eighteen. I knew they would say that when they found out about us, but it didn’t make me hate the rules any less.

Mum and Dad had gone out, and Mia was probably with Chris-the-dick, so the house was dark and deserted when I got in. I liked the peace though and couldn’t wait for Uni when I could really have my own space.

I sent Oakley a text, telling her that I loved her, and I would pick her up for school in the morning. At least it was Friday tomorrow so we could spend a little more time together in the evening. The weekend was going to suck though; she was going fishing with her dad again. Jasper went with them a few times but lost interest quickly and almost drowned once. Max should have never let him go in the first place. Jasper was a nightmare.

I had been a couple times too, and I wanted to go this weekend, but I think they need time alone. She was going out with her mum, so it was only fair that Max got to spend time with her too. At least it was only for one night though.

Mia strolled into my room without knocking.

“Do just walk in,” I said sarcastically. When did she get home anyway? Was I too out of it thinking about Oakley to have noticed.

“I need to talk to you, and you can’t get mad, and you have to let me finish, okay?” Mia rambled, waving her hands around in the air.
Well, this sounds good!
“Promise me, Cole.”

“Alright, I promise!”

She sat down and blew out a huge breath. “Me and Chris broke up.

“Well
hal-le-fucking-lu-jah,” I called out, throwing my arms up in celebration.

“And I’m pregnant,” she added quickly.

My heart stopped. Did she just say…?

“I’m sorry, you’re what?”

“Pregnant. With child. Knocked up. Have a bun in the oven.”

I jumped up, feeling mad as hell. Chris-the-dick knocked her up and left her!

“What? That bastard got you pregnant and ditched you?” I was going to kill him, plain and simple. I knew he was a useless waste of space, but I didn’t think he would go that low. This was his child for God sake!

“Wait,” she shouted, holding her hands up and frowning at me. “I told you to let me finish!”

“Shouldn’t have agreed to that,” I grumbled, sitting back on the bed. As soon as she was finished, I was going to his house.

She took a deep, calming breath and continued.

“I found out a couple days ago that I’m pregnant. It’s made me look at everything differently you know. My relationship with Chris is...well let’s face it, it’s crap. I don’t think we’ve ever gone a few days without arguing, and then there are the other women. I don’t want my baby growing up around all that.”

She touched her flat stomach tenderly.

“This baby is the most important thing now, and I know I have to be away from Chris to be the best mum I can be.”

A huge grin slowly crept across my face. I was so proud of her for finally ditching his cheating arse. Oh my God, I was going to be an uncle!

“That’s great, Mia. You and the baby deserve so much more than him. What did he say?”

“Said I’ll go back to him soon enough. He shouted a bit, said I’d tricked him into getting pregnant,” she explained. “I don’t care what he thinks though, I didn’t get pregnant on my own, and I certainly didn’t plan it! Not sure how much involvement he’ll want, but I won’t stop him seeing her if he wants.

“Her?” Can you find out this early? There was no way, right? It would just be a weird blob looking thing still.

Mia shrugged, smiling. I hadn’t seen one of those smiles in a long time, the ones that lit up her whole face.

“I don’t mind what it is, but I have a feeling it’s a girl.”

“Hopefully he’ll do the right thing by the baby, but if not you know you’re not
gonna be alone, right? He or she will have their Uncle Cole.”

Wow, she was
gonna have a baby. Mia threw her arms around me, almost knocking me back and squeezed the life out of me. Was this good for the kid?

“
Alright, but you know you’re squishing the baby right now,” I teased breathlessly as she tightened her vice like arms.

“Thank you, Cole,” she whispered emotionally. “And she’ll have her Auntie Oakley!”

I chuckled and ran my hand through my hair. “Yeah.”

I really should marry that girl one day. We’d have to wait two years before she’s even legal to get married though, well unless we had her parents’ permission, but that was unlikely. Sure, they were happy we were together, but I don’t think they would want her getting married. I smiled to myself, maybe if I proposed on her eighteenth, or maybe we could get married on her birthday?
Stop thinking about it, there’s no rush, you weirdo!

“Cole,” Mia snapped, waving her hand in front of my face.

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts. “Sorry.”

“Thinking about her?” she teased.

Narrowing my eyes, I sat back on the bed. “Maybe.”

“
Aww, you’re so cute,” she gushed, reaching out to pinch my cheeks but I batted her hand away before she could.

“So when are you telling Mum and Dad?” I questioned, wanting to change the subject from my ‘cuteness’. “They’ll freak, you know that?

Her face dropped. Mia was almost twenty, but Dad still thought of her as his little girl. He would definitely not be happy. Well, not at first at least. I know he would love that little baby to death once he had gotten his head around it.

“In a minute actually. I am
not
looking forward to it, and thanks for you overwhelming words of encouragement.”

“You’re welcome! It’ll be fine though.”

“Thanks for being supportive, it means a lot.” She stood up to go tell our parents. “Oh, and if you hear shouting, come save me!”

“Good luck, Mia. Was nice knowing
ya.” She rolled her eyes and walked out of my room slowly, groaning to herself.

I stripped out of my clothes and slipped into bed. The house was silent. I wasn’t sure of that was a good thing or not. Suddenly, Dad erupted. I couldn’t hear his words as they were mumbled and mixed into one long yelling mass of noise. Poor Mia.

I should have gone down there, but they needed to talk it out between them. If it got worse, or if I heard Mia cry, then I would. After a minute, everything settled down. I imagine Mum would have told Dad how ridiculous he was being, or Mia just said she ended it with Chris-the-dick, and they were celebrating.

School had passed painfully slowly, but thankfully it was over, and I was waiting for Oakley by my car. Kerry and Ben loitered around with my, flirting with each other and play fighting. Just what I wanted to see!

“You
wanna tag along with us tomorrow? You know, so you don’t look so pathetic being alone on a Saturday night!” Ben said.

“Hmm, do I want to be a third wheel on your date? No thanks. I think I’d rather be pathetic.” The thought of watching them sticking their tongues down each other’s throats all night made me feel ill.

Kerry rolled her eyes and grabbed Ben’s hand.

“Fine, loser,” she chirped and pulled on Ben’s hand. “Come on, take me home.”

Ben waved over his shoulder, and I nodded my head.

I leant against my car and contemplated whether I should get my phone out in the usual, yeah I’m alone, but I’m on my phone, therefore, I’m not a loser thing. Just as I was about to reach in my pocket, I saw her walking out of the building with Hannah and some other guy, who was looking at her for slightly too long. If he valued his eyeballs he was
gonna need to look away real soon.
Wow, violently jealous now. Nice one, Cole, you’ve reached a new level of pathetic.

Oakley smiled as she saw me and I couldn’t help smiling back.

“Bye, Oakley,” Hannah said, giving her a little wave, which she returned.

I held my arms out for her, and she gripped hold of me so tight, it took me by surprise. It was as if she was scared I would run away or something crazy like that.

“I’ll miss you this weekend too,” I whispered in her ear, predicting that was her problem. She nuzzled my neck, confirming my guess.

The weekend was going to go so slowly. I definitely needed to go out and do something to make the time pass faster. Jasper was talking about going out so maybe I should go with him. It would be much better than being a third wheel on Kerry and Ben’s date. I could also stop Jasper from getting too drunk and calling Abby again to shout about how she broke his heart, and that she was an evil witch for making him still love her. Or maybe I shouldn’t, that was funny!

I took Oakley for ice cream after school. With all the stupid drama recently, we hadn’t been there in a while. We took our usual seat in the booth by the window, and Julie called to say she would bring our order over, knowing what we would have.

“So you’re leaving at eight tomorrow morning and will be back at three in the afternoon on Sunday?” I questioned, making sure I remembered right. I was planning to pick her up at four on Sunday so she could have some time to shower and change, and then I was taking her back to the arcades and dinner.

We hadn’t slept together in what seemed like years, and I was seriously having withdrawal symptoms not being able to touch her. I missed being that close to her so much. She seemed to understand what I was thinking, probably because I was staring like a dirty old man, and raised her eyebrows. I laughed, unashamed.

“Hey, if we can’t get the house to ourselves soon we could always take my car in the woods or something,” I suggested, only half joking. A light pink blush crept over her cheeks, and she flicked her straw at me.
Ice cold milkshake hit me in the face.
Oh, you’re going down!
I dipped my fingers in my drink and she took off, running towards the door. I jumped out of my seat, laughing as I sprinted after her.

Oakley could run pretty damn fast when she wanted to, but I soon caught up to her and grabbed her around the waist. With a low, deep chuckle, I ran my index finger down her cheek, leaving behind a trail of chocolate milkshake.

“Love you,” I mumbled against her neck and tightened my arms. I always thought men were pathetic for being so under the thumb and thinking about their girlfriends twenty-four-seven. Now I was one of them, and I couldn’t have been happier.

Groaning as my phone started making a hideous sound; I pushed myself up and turned the damn thing off. Getting up at half-past seven on a Saturday should be illegal. There was a reason for me getting up so early though. I wanted to say goodbye before Oakley and Max went off for the night. I dressed in record time and ran over to her house just as Max was loading their tents and fishing equipment in the car.

“She’s inside,” he said, laughing at how eager I was.

I smiled sheepishly. “Thanks.”

Oakley was hugging her mum, who was telling her to have a good time and not get too close to the lake! I mentally rolled my eyes, as if she was going to fall in. She wasn’t Jasper! Max would be there anyway, and he would never let anything happen to her.

“I’ll let you say bye,” Sarah said, nodding towards me. Oakley turned around looking confused. She smiled as she saw me, like always. My heart raced.

I walked up to her and placed my hands on her slim hips.

“Hi.” She smiled wider and pushed herself up on tiptoes to kiss me. My body reacted immediately. I kissed her back passionately, my body bursting into flames.

Pulling away when I felt my self-control slipping, I pressed my forehead against hers.

“You have a good time, and I’ll see you in thirty-two and a half hours.”

The corner of her lip turned up. Yep, I had worked out the hours. Cole Benson was now a pathetic, whipped, lucky bastard.
And proud.

“I’m
gonna miss you so much. I love you.”

She gripped my hair and kissed me hard. I was finding it really hard to stay in control.
If you throw her down on the sofa and have your wicked way with her Max will cut your balls off. You like your balls
, I told myself.  The way she was kissing me was driving me wild, and I didn’t want to stop, but we had to.

She was the one that pulled away that time, her breathing heavy and laboured, and sexy!
Get a grip, you idiot, it’s just one night!
She sighed heavily and pulled me outside. With one last quick kiss, she got in the car.

I watched the road until the car disappeared around the corner. The start of my sucky weekend had officially begun.

For the entire morning, I was unintentionally annoying my parents and Mia. Apparently, I was intolerable when I was away from Oakley, but I couldn’t help it. Mia had entertained me for a couple hours, talking about the baby and her plans. She was doing amazingly well getting over her relationship with Chris. This baby was the best thing that could have happened to her. She seemed so happy – finally.