Sketch (9 page)

We walk hand in hand back to my truck. When we get in, she scoots over so that she sits next to me, every part of her touching every part of me. “God, Devin, I can’t wait to try those,” she tells me as she runs her fingers along my thigh.

“I can’t either, but there’s a stipulation,” I tell her.

“Stipulation?”

I’m feeling a little like a sadist, and it feels good. I tilt her chin up with my finger. “You can’t use these without me, and you won’t know when we’re going to use them. I want them to stay in this package until I tell you to. Can you do that for me?”

I can feel her frustration, but I can also feel that she wants to please me. “Okay.” She exhales heavily.

“Good girl,” I praise her. “When you do wear them, prepare to be fucked like you’ve never been fucked before.”

The sharp intake of breath is all I need to hear to know she’s looking as forward to it as I am.

SKETCH

“S
o I let
him take me out and buy me dinner, but then I made him take me home.”

I look up from my drawing and give Trix a look. “You let him buy you dinner at the most expensive restaurant in town and didn’t give it up?”

She gives me a look of pride. “I didn’t feel it with him, but I appreciated his effort.”

“You are a fucking man-eater. You could have at least sucked it or jacked it. What if he didn’t have the money to be doing that for you?”

“His problem, not mine,” she tells me, shooting me a look.

“I see I came back at the perfect time.”

I look up as I hear the voice of the other male tattooist who’s been on leave. River came back the other night, but this is the first time I’ve seen him. I hop up, and we clap hands, half-hugging. “Dude, the estrogen was about to grow me a set of tits. I am so fucking glad you’re back.”

Trix shoots him a look. “Yeah, we’re so glad.” Her voice is dry, and I can’t help but wonder if the reason he left was because of her. I don’t know why, but I have this feeling.

“I know you missed me. You don’t have to admit it.” He walks over and ruffles her hair, making her glare at him.

“I
am
glad you came back,” Jackie says from her place at the counter. “You’re a fucking math genius, and this semester is kicking my ass.”

I look over and see her already grabbing her backpack, pulling out a book. River laughs and shakes his head. “Same old shit.”

“Different day, my brother, different day.”

I glance outside, it’s a gorgeous day, and I don’t necessarily want to be cooped up, but I have myself on the work schedule. Plus I need to finish Reaper’s piece—he’s coming in next week to get started on it. I’m excited to see my friend; it’s been way too long. My phone vibrates, and I glance over, seeing a message from Nina.

I just woke up and wanted to tell you good morning.

My eyes turn to the clock on the wall. It’s almost noon, I can’t believe she slept this late. Back in the day, she was up with the sun. She didn’t understand the luxury of sleeping until you woke up—it was always an alarm clock with her. She had places to be and things to do.

You slept this late, babe? Are you sick?

Now I’m kind of worried; maybe being out in the cold air wasn’t the best idea I had ever had, I should have taken better care.

What? No! I’m embarrassed to tell you this, but once I left you, most of my friends left me. They were my friends because of your status. They didn’t know the real Nina. Without those things to do and places to be, I started to appreciate long mornings lounging around—I like nights in. When I tell you I’m different, Sketch, I’m different.

I don’t know what to say. With every text message this woman sends me she reveals a side of herself I didn’t know was there. I have such a preconceived notion of her in my head. I realize, though, that we’ve both grown up. Our priorities in life have changed; we’ve become our own people. Before, we were part of a unit that wasn’t cohesive; we counted on each other for our own individual happiness. This separation has forced us to find ourselves. I think again that maybe this Sketch and Nina are better than the previous versions.

I’m starting to see that.

My reaction surprises me, I’m speechless. I don’t know how to comfort her, how to apologize.

It’s not a bad thing, Sketch. Before, I didn’t like my own company, now I do. What are your plans tonight?

None. I wonder what she’s got up her sleeve.

I’m doing it up big tonight. I think I have a recorded UFC fight on the DVR, and maybe I have enough food in the house to make a grilled cheese.

The old me would have been embarrassed. It wasn’t exciting enough. Now it feels comfortable, it feels safe, I don’t feel the judgment I know would have come from the old Nina.

Come over. Let me cook you dinner. I have a TV in my bedroom. If you don’t think you can keep your hands off me, you can always move it to the living room.

I feel like I should invite her to our house, but again I’m not sure I’m ready for that. Taking her in our bed, the one that holds not only good but bad memories doesn’t seem like the right thing to do. I’m not sure we’ve come far enough yet.

We’ll see. Want me to bring a movie?

I purposely keep the tone light. I’m not expecting anything, I never will with her again. I’m realizing that while she took me for granted, I took her for granted too. I assumed she loved our life, I never asked. That makes me just as bad as I always thought she was, but I’m working through things in my own way.

Yeah, nothing scary though. You know I hate that. Guess I better get up and run to the store. See you tonight, Sketch. Love you.

We said those words last night, but seeing them written out gives me a hope I didn’t have before, and it hits me like a punch in the gut, but in a good way.

Nicholas Sparks it is. Love you too.

They feel right, they don’t feel forced, and I realize I mean them. I truly mean them. For so long I’ve been going through the motions. I’ve continued to say it, even though my heart wasn’t completely in it. Now, it’s all in, just like me.

SKETCH

“I
thought I
told you no scary movies. You promised Nicholas Sparks.”

I laugh as Nina buries her head in my chest. Her voice is muffled as she speaks again. “Tell me when it’s okay to look.”

“It’s just a movie.” I push my fingers through her hair as she turns her head so that she can breathe.

“Bundy was
just
a serial killer,” she fires back at me, causing me to laugh again.

I’m full from the dinner she cooked, and my eyes are heavy. Her bed is smaller than the one we shared as a couple, and we’re cozy because we have to be. I grasp her hand, bringing it up to my chest. When my fingers run over hers and I feel something I haven’t felt in a while, my eyes pop open.

“You put it back on?” I glance down at the wedding ring and engagement set on her left hand.

She nods. “I didn’t want to do it because that woman pissed me off; I wanted to do it because it felt right. After last night, it felt right.”

I’m speechless, and the emotion is so much more than I thought it would be. I didn’t realize how badly that had fucked with my head when I was confronted with her taking it off. I didn’t appreciate how much that little slip of metal and diamond meant to me. “I’m glad.”

She yawns and tightens her arm around my waist. “I am too. It doesn’t feel like an anchor weighing me down anymore. It feels like something I’m lucky to wear again. When I put it on I got the same feeling I got when we were first married. I would look down at it, grin to myself, and realize you were mine. I hadn’t felt that way in a long time. Today at the grocery, I ran my debit card, and the diamond caught the light. I felt that way again.”

I kiss her head. “I’m glad.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I know we’re not where we need to be. Trust still needs to be rebuilt, and I’m sure there will be more issues come up before we decide we want to live together again, but I feel like we’re in a good place.”

“We are,” I agree.

She moves her hand down my chest and pushes the tips of her fingers under the hem of my T-shirt, stroking lightly. It’s not a touch that’s meant to arouse, it’s a mindless thing she’s doing, and it’s lulling me into a state of relaxation I haven’t been in, in a long time. I’m fighting the pull of sleep, but I know it’s a losing battle. I can’t even remember the last time the two of us slept in each other’s arms. I tighten my hold on her and let my body relax, let my mind go blank, and enjoy this nice little surprise.

*

The room I’m
waking up in is darker than the one at my house. There’s a warm body in my arms. I know instinctively it’s Nina, but I’m struggling with where we are. I open my eyes and realize I’m in her apartment. I glance at the clock on the bedside table and see it’s four in the morning. I must have slept hard because I feel wide awake—even though it’s way earlier than the time I normally get up. The TV is showing a blank screen, so at some point the movie finished without us.

My arm is fucking asleep, completely numb. Can’t even feel it. Nina has rolled away from me, but she’s still got my arm around her neck. Rolling over so that I can put my arm around her waist, I try to extricate my arm from under her pillow. The thing is dead; I don’t even feel pins and needles. When my nerves start firing again, it’s gonna hurt like a motherfucker. Finally I get it out from under her and stretch it up over my head, flexing my wrist, making a fist and letting it go. The pins and needles come, and I try like hell not to make any noise, not to wake her up, but shit this hurts.

“Sketch?” she asks, her voice slurred with sleep. “You okay?”

“My arm fell asleep. It’s coming back awake.”

I turn over onto my back and shake it out, beating it against my leg, thankful that I finally have some feeling back in it.

“Sorry.” She yawns as she turns over so that she faces me. “I meant to move it before I fell asleep, but I guess I never made it.”

“No big deal,” I tell her. “I didn’t mean to fall asleep either.”

We’re quiet for a minute before she scoots over next to me. She toys with the edge of my T-shirt. “I like having you here.”

I like being here, but I would like it much more if she were back in our home, back in our bed. Fuck, I’ll get a new bed if I have to. “I like being here,” I admit.

“What time do you have to be at work today?” she asks as she burrows deeper in my arms.

I know what I’m about to tell her is going to shock her, but it makes me smile, because it’ll be a good shock. “I’m off today.”

“What?” Her eyes open wide. She is no longer drifting between sleep and wakefulness. She is awake.

“Yeah, Sundays are my day off now. I told you I try to cut out early during the week, and I’ve manipulated the schedule so that I have at least one day off a week.”

“Sketch.” She opens her mouth, shuts it.

“I know,” I laugh. “It was time. This makes me sound like a bastard, but I knew if I either wanted to work this out with you or not ruin a relationship with another woman, I was going to have to make sure I had time off.” I cup her face in my hands. “Working it out with you was the dream, but I didn’t think I had a shot. I didn’t think you’d come back.”

She’s quiet as she leans against me again, digging the fingers of one hand into my hair, her other hand into my stomach, pulling me closer to her. “God, I love you. Are you staying?”

“If you want me to.”

“I do.” She nods. “First I want to sleep some more, but then I want to spend the day with you.”

Best plan I’ve ever heard in my life.

SKETCH

T
his has been
one of the best days of my life. We’ve lounged like we haven’t lounged in a long time with one another. It’s nearing the middle of the afternoon, and I know I need to get my run in. I can’t let myself get lazy. If I let myself get lazy, then everything I’ve worked so hard for could fall apart. I’m learning that philosophy is true in every part of my life. I have to work at it to make it work for me.

I’m only sorry I didn’t learn that lesson earlier.

“I’m gonna have to leave here in a few. I need to go get my run in,” I tell Nina, watching her to gauge her reaction.

She looks a little disappointed, but she seems to understand, or maybe she’s a little interested. “Do you run every day?”

“I try to. It’s a good way not to let the world get to be too much. My head is clearer, and to be honest I feel better when I do it.”

She walks over and puts her arms around my neck. She pulls my head down so that she can look into my eyes. “I get it. You’re doing something for yourself.”

It’s still weird not to look at her and see the disappointment, the fear that we’re over and the hate that we’re tearing each other apart. I’m glad she sees my desire to be a better person both mentally and physically; I’m glad she can understand that it’s not that I don’t want to be with her, it’s that I have to keep up with the changes I made. “I figured out real quick when you left that I was doing a lot of things. Most of those things I thought made you happy, but I was doing absolutely nothing for myself. This is a change I’ve made, and I like it.”