Sleepless Nights (The Donovans of the Delta) (2 page)

“And Claude?”

“He’s still in Fulton, Missouri, running the local newspaper. I never should have stayed there as long as I did. After the divorce it was awkward— for both of us.”

He felt a sudden rush of compassion for Claude. It would have been more than awkward; it would have been torture. Losing Amanda after having possessed her was bad enough. He knew. For Claude, seeing her every day and not being able to touch her must have been sheer hell. At least Tanner hadn’t had to go through that. After the wedding he’d gone straight to football camp and the blessed oblivion of a demanding career in professional sports.

His compassion for Claude quickly changed to a cold rage as he thought of the two of them together. It was an image he’d tried to block out over the years. With Amanda sitting across the table from him, the image took on a clarity that made him want to smash his fists into the wall. His gaze swept hungrily over her, and he decided the only way to block out that vision was to replace it. He imagined Amanda in his arms . . . sweet yielding flesh . . . drowning himself in her softness.

His loins tightened almost painfully, and he thought he must be going mad. The arrival of the hot chocolate saved his sanity.

They sipped for a while in silence, watching each other over the rims of their cups.

“Age has improved you, Tanner.”

He grinned. “I like to think it’s practice, not age.”

“I wouldn’t know about that, you wicked man. I was talking about your looks. You’re bigger, of course, more solid. But also more mellow.”

“More broken.”

“I read about your knee. I’m sorry.”

“It cut short my career, but I can’t complain. Maybe it was for the best. Some men stay in pro ball too long. Way past their prime.” He watched her eyes darken as he reached across the table and cupped her chin. “And you, Amanda.” His fingers caressed her jawline. “Don’t pull away. I’ve been wanting to touch your skin since I walked into this cafe. Magnolia blossoms must wilt with envy when you walk by.”

She laughed. “Still glib of tongue.”

“I keep in practice.” He released her and stuck his hand in his pocket so she wouldn’t see it shaking. “Even at thirty-three, after all these years, you’re still the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”

“Thank you, Tanner. At thirty-three, you’re still the smoothest talking man I’ve ever met. No wonder I fell in love with you when I was eighteen.”

“Seventeen. It was right before your birthday, remember?”

A peculiar stillness settled over her, but her eyes never wavered.

“I don’t want to remember, Tanner.”

Silently he applauded her spirit.

“Neither do I.” He finished the last of his chocolate and picked up the check. “My treat.”

“I don’t want anything from you.”

Their gazes locked. Everything that had been between them seemed to sizzle in the air—the passion, the betrayal, the guilt, the hatred. Tanner was the first to break the spell. He knew that if he didn’t walk away now, he never would.

“And I don’t want anything from you, Amanda.” He stood up swiftly, taking the check with him. “Consider this payment on an old debt, an apology for trying to steal you from Claude at the altar.”

“Done.” She picked up her hat and set it on her head again at the same jaunty angle. “I suppose I could have demanded blood. You’re getting off lightly.”

“The next time I’ll send diamonds. So long, Amanda.” Giving her a smart salute, he turned toward the cash register.

“There won’t be a next time.”

He heard her but kept walking. He decided it was better to let her have the last word than to risk turning back. If he looked into those aqua eyes one minute longer, he’d have her in his arms right in the middle of Jimmy’s, scandalizing half the population of the Delta.

He paid for the chocolate and got into his car without looking back. Grimly he turned the key in the ignition and set a hell-bent-for-leather course across town. Tanner Donovan was going home, and nothing was going to spoil his homecoming. Not even Amanda Lassiter.

 o0o

Amanda sat at the booth long after he had gone. She felt as if her heart had just been ripped out and stomped on. Pressing her knees together under the table, she forced herself, to sit still until she could calm down. Dear heaven, she’d had no idea that seeing Tanner again would affect her like this. It had been eleven years. Eleven years!

Curious faces began to turn in her direction. She met their stares with her head up. She wasn’t going to let this encounter with Tanner Donovan get the best of her. She had to live in this town. Pasting a bright smile on her face, she stood up and walked across the room. She even managed to put a smart spring into her step and to call out a few cheerful greetings.

Her car seemed a million miles away, but she was finally inside. While the engine was warming up, she turned and looked down the road. There was no sign of Tanner. Not even a lingering puff of dust marked his departure.

Putting her car into gear, she headed home.

“Out of sight, out of mind,” she said aloud, but even as she spoke, she knew she was lying.

CHAPTER TWO

Amanda could hear the music all the way out in the parking lot—
White Christmas
played by Greenville’s Jazz Combo with more enthusiasm and optimism than skill. Smiling, she locked her car and started toward the clubhouse alone. Her escort for the evening, Walter Cummings, had called the night before with fever, a hacking cough, and profuse apologies.

It was just as well, she decided. Since the previous day’s encounter with Tanner Donovan, she’d been poor company for everybody. Her Friday night bridge party had been a disaster. She and Maxine had been set twice because of her crazy bidding. Once she’d bid four hearts with nothing in her hand except the queen and a jack—and all because she was thinking of the way Tanner Donovan’s pants fit. She wondered if five years of deprivation had warped her mind.

She wasn’t going to dwell on it.

Holding her head high in what she hoped was an elegant manner, she pushed open the door and entered the Greenville Country Club.

Amanda’s entrance caused a stir. Though others, including Tanner, called her a head-turning beauty, she knew it wasn’t her looks that had people in a dither. Nor was it her dress—a twenties-style ivory satin gown that clung to her body like a lover. It was the anticipation. Greenville residents, who could remember the way Tanner Donovan had raged when Amanda Lassiter walked down the aisle with his best friend, wondered what would happen with the two of them in the same room all evening.

They weren’t long in finding out.

Amanda had barely cleared the doorway when she saw him coming. She felt a melting warmth all the way down to her toes. In a tuxedo, Tanner could be declared illegal. Broad-shouldered, slim-hipped, solid, and well toned, he was unmistakably an athlete. A delectable one. As she watched him move, a bright memory flashed through her mind—Tanner lying beside her on the riverbank, sunlight gilding the dark hairs that shadowed his sweat-slick chest, his blue jeans riding low on his narrow hips.

Her throat constricted and her palms dampened, but she couldn’t turn away. She had a strange premonition that this encounter had been arranged by fate.

She tipped her chin in what Maxine called her
stubborn look,
then smiled.

“If that smile’s designed to make me forget every other woman in this room, then you’ve succeeded.” Tanner had stopped so close beside her that she could count the fine laugh lines fanning out from his eyes.

“I don’t wear the smile by design. It’s just my natural good humor.”

She loved the way his eyes lit up when he laughed.

“Did anybody ever tell you modesty is a virtue?” he asked.

“They did, but I never believed them.”

“Neither did I.”

His gaze raked over her boldly. She could feel his eyes on her, like hands searching, touching, caressing. They lingered over her cleavage and, moving upward, hungrily studied her lips. Her body’s response was instantaneous. As if it had been only yesterday since they’d loved, she felt her nipples tighten against the revealing satin of her gown.

He noticed. She could tell by the daredevil gleam in his eyes and the slight lifting of one cocky eyebrow.

“Am I disturbing you, Amanda?” he asked.

She wanted to shoot him.

“Don’t flatter yourself.”

“You disturb me.” Reaching out, he gently lifted a strand of her copper hair and let it sift through his fingers. She stood still, afraid that any move she made would be straight into his arms. “As a matter of fact, you ruined a good night’s sleep for me last night. I think you owe me for that.”

“I thought we settled our debts yesterday.”

“That was mine. This one is yours.”

“I don’t think they serve hot chocolate here. Will a glass of wine do?”

“I was thinking of something more substantial.”

The hand that had been holding her hair dropped onto her shoulder and drifted down her back, tracing the deep vee of her dress all the way to her waist. She was determined that he not see how his touch affected her.

She was the one who had left him; she was the one who had chosen a safe marriage with a good man instead of the frenzied competition with pro football for Tanner’s affection; she was the one who had come between two best friends. She was also the one who had borne the burden of guilt. But she’d carried the load long enough. It was time to put Tanner Donovan behind her, once and for all.

“I’m substantial but not available.”

He chuckled. “I think you are, and I intend to find out.”

She looked directly into his eyes and smiled. “And I intend that you don’t.”

“So much the better. I love a good pursuit.”

She laughed. “I don’t plan to run. Running away is not my style.”

“I remember your style, Mandy. I remember it so well.”

The steam practically rose between them as their gazes clashed. She was the first to break the spell.

“Why, Tanner? Why pursue me when you could have any woman in town?”

“I don’t want any woman in town. I want you.”

“For old times’ sake?”

“No.” His arm snaked out and pulled her solidly against his chest. Tipping her head back with one finger, he bent so close that their lips were almost touching. “Make no mistake, Amanda. This is not love. I stopped loving you a long time ago.”

“And I you.”

She could scarcely breathe or speak as realization slammed into her. A part of her still loved Tanner. The truth shook her to the core. She’d married Claude, had lived with him for six years, had loved him. But all the while something deep in her soul had never forgotten the wild, wanton love of Tanner Donovan. She fought against the truth, tried to shut it out of her mind, but how could she deny it when she was back in his arms and being there felt like heaven?

He would never know, she vowed. No one would ever know.

“Tell me, Tanner, if this pursuit is not motivated by love, what is the motivation? Lust? Revenge?”

“Catharsis.” His arms tightened around her. “You’ve been a fever in my blood for eleven years. I’ve decided that the only way to purge you from my system is to bed you . . . one more time.”

“Only once?”

He grinned. “You always were greedy.”

“And you always were arrogant.” She put her hand on his chest and shoved. For all the effect her attempt to push him away had, she might as well have been a snowflake battering a mountain.

“I take what I want. And I want you.”

He took her mouth swiftly, greedily, without tenderness and without love. It was not so much a kiss as an assault. His lips were hard on hers, demanding, expert.

Not even for a second did Amanda consider struggling against him. His arms were like steel. Nor did she give a moment’s thought to their audience. She and Tanner seemed fated to make public scenes.

She did give thought to the kiss, however. It was passionate, persuasive, dangerous, and it threatened to topple her defenses. She could feel the rush of liquid warmth between her thighs, the fierce yearning and soft yielding of her body. Another moment with his lips on hers and she would be lost.

Her only defense would be to meet fire with fire. She slid her hands under his tuxedo jacket and began a slow, erotic circling on his back. The power behind the kiss shifted subtly as she boldly plunged her tongue into Tanner’s mouth.

His reaction was immediate. She felt, rather than heard, the moan deep in his throat, and then he was devouring her, feasting on her as if he would never let go.

They were caught in a time warp. They might have been high-school sweethearts again, young, idealistic, and very much in love—but they were not. They were two battle-scarred people, eleven years older and eleven years more cynical.

Tanner lifted his head and held her at arm’s distance.

“I’d forgotten how well you kiss.”

“That was just a sample. Something to lead you on.”

“You make a fine quarry, Amanda. I’m going to enjoy the hunt.”

“I’d be careful if I were you, Tanner. Sometimes the hunter ends up the hunted.”

“And what are your intentions if you catch me?”

“Certainly not to bed you. But dishonorable nonetheless.”

He grinned. “You always were an unpredictable woman. I can hardly wait.”

“Don’t hold your breath. I’ve provided all the fun I intend to for one evening.”

“Does that mean you’re turning down my offer of a warm bed and a willing body?”

“Precisely.”

“Then I’ll have to find a substitute.” Releasing her, he gave a smart salute. “Have a good evening, Miss Lassiter.”

“You, too, Mr. Donovan.”

She stood there smiling, watching him walk away. Not by one twitch of an eyelash would she show that there was a cyclone raging inside her. She wouldn’t run and she wouldn’t flinch. She would stand firm against all his assaults, and she would win.

“What in the name of tarnation was that all about?”

Amanda turned to see Maxine standing at her elbow, her face shining with anticipation.