Sleepless Nights (The Donovans of the Delta) (4 page)

Determination always brought out the best in Amanda. From the moment the music started, she was in fine voice. Even when Tanner’s rich baritone voice joined in, hers never faltered. The goose bumps popped up on her arm, as they always had when he sang, but she ignored them. For an instant she wondered how he’d ever learned the cantata, but she didn’t have time to ponder that. Fleetingly she noticed how well their voices blended, but she didn’t have time to think about that, either. Nothing would mar her singing.

She lifted her voice with renewed determination, making the beautiful old Gothic church ring with glorious music.

When it was all over, the congregation flocked to the front to congratulate the choir.

“That was wonderful, Amanda.” Maxine managed to hem her in behind the altar rail with Tanner. “You two perform so well together.” Wilford, who was standing as close to Maxine as he thought prudent in church, nodded his agreement.

“I always thought so.” Tanner moved in close and put his hand on Amanda’s shoulder. To the innocent bystander the gesture was completely harmless. Only she knew that he had his thigh pressing against the back of her choir robe. Nor did she miss the double meaning of his words. She’d lay bets that he wasn’t talking about singing.

Over her shoulder she shot him a look that would have made a lesser man quail. Tanner winked at her.

Maxine’s next words only encouraged him. “The two of you should perform together more often.”

“Those are my intentions,” Tanner said.

“Over my dead body.” Amanda considered murder with a hymnal right there in the church.

Maxine was in her element. She loved controversy, especially when she was right in the middle of it. “I have the most wonderful idea. Wilford and I always go to Jimmy’s for coffee after church. Why don’t you two join us?”

“Great, we’d love to. Jimmy’s is one of our favorite places,” Tanner said.

“No, thank you,” Amanda said at the same time, but nobody paid any attention.

“Good. Then it’s settled. We’ll wait for you to shuck the robes, and we’ll all go in my car. It’s more fun being together, don’t you think?”

Wilford finally managed to get a word in edgewise. “Maxine is such a wonderful manager.”

Amanda decided she would wait until tomorrow to tell Maxine what she was—a dyed-in-the-wool mischief maker.

“Amanda and I will be right back.” Tanner took her arm and steered her toward the choir room. “Are you ready to get undressed, darling?”

She saw that she was trapped. Being cornered always brought out her fighting spirit. She could play the game as well as he. “Certainly. And I do enjoy an audience.”

“Have you ever lacked for one?”

So, she thought, the bold and brash Tanner Donovan wasn’t without feelings. That question smacked of jealousy if she’d ever heard it. She decided to add fuel to the fire.

“Never. I’ve lost count since Claude.”

She saw the fleeting look of rage on his face before he recovered. “Good for you. I love an experienced woman.”

“I thought love didn’t enter into this.”

“It doesn’t. That was a general statement.”

“Good. I’d hate to think you were having second thoughts about this game, just when I’m starting to enjoy it.”

As she pushed open the door and entered the empty choir room, she began to have second thoughts about her own game tactics. Tanner in a crowd was one thing; Tanner alone was quite another. But he was right behind her; it was too late to back out now. She walked quickly across the room, putting as much space between them as possible.

She heard the metallic click of a zipper. Although she knew it was only his choir robe, she had visions of other times when she’d heard that same sound. Her cheeks flushed as she remembered the times she’d turned to find Tanner standing beside her, magnificent in his nakedness.

There was no going back, she reminded herself. All she could do was move ahead. The faster, the better. She needed to put Tanner out of her life. Now was no time for cowardice.

“I always seem to have trouble with zippers.” She turned and walked boldly toward him. “If I remember correctly, you’re an expert with these.”

“I’ve had a lot of practice.” He put his hands on her shoulders and gently brought her closer.

“So I’ve read.” Now it was her turn to hurt. She didn’t like to think of him with other women. She didn’t want any reminders that the hands grasping her so tenderly had done the same thing countless times over the years—but to someone else. She just wouldn’t think about that, she decided. Such thoughts were dangerous.

His hands felt so good. Whenever he had touched her, she had experienced an immediate sense of well-being, as if nothing in the world could harm her as long as Tanner was there. And now, standing in the choir room, that old feeling threatened to overwhelm her again.

In a flash of hindsight she realized that coming here with him had been a mistake, one that she would remedy quickly. She pushed his hands away and stepped back. “I won’t be added to your long list of conquests.”

“I thought you loved an audience.”

“Not this audience.”

“I’m devastated. Perhaps I should get my minister to send you a letter of recommendation.”

“I doubt that a man of your reputation has more than a nodding acquaintance with men of the cloth.”

Tanner laughed. It was a full-bodied, deep-throated sound of pure delight. “Don’t let Paul hear you say that. He’s worked for ten years to tame the hellion in me.”

“If I remember correctly, your older brother was quite a hellion himself.”

He laughed even harder. “I can’t wait to tell him how you remember him. It’ll be good for the Reverend Paul Donovan to hear that.”

Amanda loved getting news about Paul. She’d always liked Tanner’s brothers, especially Paul and Theo, but she was determined not to be sidetracked. “It’s a good thing he has God on his side. And even so, I have my doubts about his taming you.” She put her hands on her hips and gazed at him boldly. “Tanner Donovan, you’re every inch the hellion.”

“I don’t deny that.” With one step he closed the space between them. “Come here, Mandy, love. This hellion is dying to get into your zipper.”

Before she could protest, his hands were on her, the left holding her shoulder while the right slowly lowered her zipper. She’d never known that shedding a choir robe could be such a sensuous experience. His fingers trailed the path of the zipper, brushing across her clothes, lingering intimately over her breasts. She felt the heat of his hand through the silk of her blouse.

She held her breath as the zipper inched downward. He made no move to come closer. He made no attempt to embrace her. The only change was in his eyes. She saw the bright light of passion gleaming in their quicksilver depths.

Willing herself not to respond, she stood very still as he worked his magic. His left hand continued to hold her shoulder, while the right explored her body behind the widening path of the zipper. She felt a tiny bead of nervous perspiration roll between her breasts as the zipper skimmed below her waist.

“You used to love this, Mandy.” Her skirt was no protection from the touch of his fingers. Lazily he was drawing those familiar erotic circles that used to drive her wild.

“Not anymore.” With a supreme effort she controlled her breathing, but there was nothing she could do about the thundering of her heart. She hoped he didn’t hear it in the still of the choir room.

“You still do. I can tell.”

She thought his laughter was positively diabolical.

“You’re a wicked man, Tanner Donovan. I don’t know why I ever fell in love with you.”

He quickly finished opening her robe and slipped it from her shoulders.

“I do. If we weren’t in church, I’d show you.”

“After all these years you’ve developed scruples?”

“Are you disappointed?”

“No. Surprised.” She took the robe from his hand and hung it up. “And relieved.”

“The next time opportunity knocks, we won’t be in a church, Amanda.”

“Lately I’ve become hard of hearing.”

“I’ll see that opportunity knocks loud enough for you to hear.” He lifted her suit jacket from the hook and helped her into it. “Soon, my darling. Very soon.”

For a moment Amanda believed the endearment was real. But only for a moment. Deep down she knew it was only a part of the game.

 o0o

Maxine and Wilford were waiting for them in the parking lot. “Hurry, kids,” Maxine yelled. “My chariot awaits.” She swept her arm toward her Volkswagen Beetle.

“Why don’t we take my car?” Amanda suggested. “We’ll be crowded in yours.”

“That’s the general idea.” Maxine grinned. “Climb in the back, kids. Once I get the old rattletrap going, there won’t be much talking. Who needs to talk, anyhow? It’ll be just like old times.”

Too much like old times for comfort, Tanner thought as he helped Amanda into the backseat. Everything was getting to be too much like old times—the way Amanda laughed, the way she kissed, the way she felt in his arms. Something inside him was starting to thaw. He didn’t want to feel mellow toward her; he wanted to punish her. In one move she’d destroyed their future together and forever separated him from his best friend.

He folded himself into the backseat, lifting Amanda onto his lap.

“Is this necessary?”

“My legs are too long. The only way we’ll both fit back here is if you sit on top.” He pulled her comfortably into the curve of his arm. “Does it bother you?”

“No more than it bothers you.”

As Maxine started up her little Beetle and spun out of the parking lot, he had time to consider just how much holding Amanda did bother him. It felt a lot like being in love, and that wasn’t possible. Not anymore. Not with Amanda.

Over the rattle of the old car Maxine yelled something to Amanda about the shop, and she leaned over the seat to reply. That sudden shift of her bottom on his lap left no doubt in either of their minds about her effect on him. She turned her head and lifted a quizzical eyebrow. Shrugging his shoulders, he smiled.

“Opportunity knocking,” he murmured.

“Tell opportunity it’s not polite to come in without an invitation.”

He chuckled. “Tell invitation not to speak so eloquently.”

She laughed. Listening to the music of her laughter and watching the play of moonlight over her face and hair, he knew that he couldn’t continue the heartless game he was playing. At least not tonight. For this one night only, he was going to forget the past and enjoy the moment.

As Maxine steered her rackety old car into the lot in front of Jimmy’s, Tanner laid down the shield and took off his armor.

“Truce, Mandy.” He spoke softly, for her ears only. “Let’s call the battle off.”

“I’m not sure I can trust you.”

“You can. I promise.”

“For how long?”

“One night only. Tonight.”

He’d always known that good boys got rewards, and her smile was proof.

“Agreed.”

They followed Maxine and Wilford into Jimmy’s to have hot chocolate and talk of ordinary things— football and politics and Christmas and Hong Kong. They discussed world peace and small-town morality. They reminisced over their days at Greenville High, and Tanner even told Wilford of the time he and Claude and Amanda had stolen their biggest rival’s mascot, a billy goat, and smuggled it into the principal’s office. The goat had created such havoc that school had been canceled. Wilford, who was from Chicago, observed that that wasn’t much reason to dismiss school. Maxine explained that he didn’t know the goat, and Tanner assured him that Southerners were unique. It didn’t take much to excite them.

He was thinking mostly of himself when he’d made the remark. He’d been in the finest restaurants in New York, Madrid, Paris, and Hong Kong. But right now, sitting in Jimmy’s watching Amanda, he couldn’t remember when he’d been more excited. He felt as if he’d just carried the ball fifty yards and crossed the goal line.

 It was late when they returned to the church to pick up their cars. As Tanner watched Amanda drive off into the night he vowed that the next day would be different. He wouldn’t allow his feelings to get in the way. He’d finish what he’d set out to do.

 o0o

Tanner woke up quickly, alert, cheerful, his body like a well-oiled machine, fine-tuned and ready to go. The smell of gingerbread and the sound of his mother’s singing drifted up the stairs to him. He could hear his father’s big boom of laughter, the banging of the front door, and the happy chatter of young voices—some of the Donovan grandchildren coming in to breakfast. For a moment he lay on the feather mattress in the big four-poster bed and listened to the sounds of home. Then he dressed and hurried down to join his family.

Anna Donovan was in the kitchen, her neat salt-and-pepper hair pulled into a French twist, and her still-slim figure encased in a ruffled apron. Tanner kissed her on the cheek, lifted her off her feet, and waltzed her around the kitchen.

When he set her back down, she was flushed with pleasure. “Land sakes! A body can’t do a speck of work when you’re home, Tanner. Always carrying on. You’re just like your father.” Her wide smile and the twinkle in her blue eyes betrayed her bluff. Besides that, Tanner knew that she adored all the Donovan men, especially Matthew, his father.

He reached over her shoulder and took a huge piece of hot gingerbread off the stove. Taking a big bite, he rolled his eyes heavenward. “I’d kill for your gingerbread.”

Anna suppressed her smile. “That’s downright sacrilegious. Don’t let your brother Paul hear you talking like that.”

“When are they arriving?”

“Not till Thursday. He has candlelight services on Wednesday night.”

Tanner ate the last of his gingerbread and straddled a kitchen chair. “Mom, you’re the wisest woman I know.”

Hands on her hips, she turned around to face him. “The last time you said that to me, you had just set the barn on fire.”

Tanner laughed. “I was only ten, and it was an accident.”

“A body can’t be too careful with you around. What is it this time?”

“If you wanted to be swept off your feet, how would you like it to be done?”