Something Had to Give (34 page)

Exam time rolled around very quickly and as I walked out the door from my last exam, it hit me that it would be my last summer vacation as a college student. I had decided against summer school since it turned out that I was on track to graduate on time. Instead my plan was to go home for two weeks and then head to Tennessee for the rest of the summer to spend time with Jason. They were in the middle of inventory for the store, which would have Jason working crazy hours so there really was no reason for me to go there right away. I wasn’t really excited about going home which wasn’t unusual, but this time it was for different reasons. Before it was the dreaded boredom day after day and now it was because I knew it would be an empty house. I was happy that my parents had started getting out more and doing things they enjoyed, but I still wanted them to be glad I was home and spend time with me. The plan was to work as much as possible while home, especially since I didn’t know if I would be able to find a summer position in Tennessee. Going back to work at H&M was out, Trish had made sure of that.

The day before my drive to Charlotte, I was pumped and feeling good as I packed up my summer clothes. I couldn’t help but feel like I was over packing when I got to my third bag of clothes, but I felt like I needed a variety of stuff. My plan was to leave early the next morning so I decided to take two of my bags downstairs so I wouldn’t have a lot to carry down in the morning. As I walked down the steps my heart skipped a beat when I saw Eric coming up the steps with a girl. She looked a lot older than us and had on the same dress shirt and tie that Eric had on. They were laughing and so into each other that they didn’t even see me coming with bags and nearly walked right into me. I was barely able to get by them. It was a huge blow to see him with another girl that he seemed really into. That night, I sat there without the TV or any music on straining to hear what was going on in Eric’s apartment. I had to stop myself from putting my ear to the wall. I wasn’t able to hear a thing except the TV that was up pretty loud. I felt like a loser trying so hard to listen and even more that I was letting the situation bother me. I settled into bed and finally let my obsession with them go until the next morning when as I was leaving I noticed Eric’s window was open. I stood at my door and then at the top of the stairs trying to hear anything that would indicate that the mystery girl had spent the night. Again I didn’t hear a thing. As I made my way down the steps to the car, I was more than glad that I would be gone for the summer.

My time spent at home was uneventful. I worked as much as I could and as I expected, I didn’t see much of my parents. Daddy had work trips back to back so I only saw him one day that I was home. Mommy was also on the go with her groups and friends. I only asked once if they had heard from Shanna and Mommy said that Daddy had gotten an email from her. As we all expected, she had linked back up with Craig soon after moving out and was living with him in Virginia. She had also mentioned the possibility of them getting married since they were both working and allegedly doing well for themselves. Mommy talked as though the email didn’t bother her but did say that Daddy was very disappointed that Shanna had gone back to the guy that had made her hit rock bottom. It was disappointing to me as well since I had seen firsthand how out of control they were around each other. Together they were toxic. I just couldn’t see anything good coming out of them being back together. We had all given up on talking some sense into her though. As hard as it was to watch, it was something that she would have to come to realize on her own.

I was glad that my two weeks home went by so quickly since it seemed so different to be home. I stopped working on a Friday. I planned to spend that Saturday re-packing and later having dinner with my parents before my drive to Chattanooga the next morning. I was up early that Saturday washing clothes and getting things packed up when one by one things kept popping up for my parents throughout the day. I was home alone once again trying to find anything to do to occupy the time. I painted my nails, watched several boring TV shows, and even took a nap. When I woke up it was almost 6 pm and I had not heard from my parents. It was evident that they had forgotten about me and had made alternate plans for dinner. As I packed a sandwich and chips for the road, I was pretty annoyed with them since I had pretty much wasted a day that I had could’ve have been in Tennessee already. I started to leave a note for them but changed my mind just to see if they would call worried wanting to know where I was. I hoped I still mattered that much for them to do that.

I finally arrived at Jason’s apartment a little after midnight. The drive technically should not have taken that long but I stopped a couple of times for snacks and whenever I felt restless from driving. I was pooped when I got Jason’s apartment, but he was wide awake so I sucked it up and stayed awake since someone seemed happy to have me around. I was there for a while before it hit me that I hadn’t heard my phone ring from either of my parents checking on me. I remembered that my phone was on vibrate in my purse and decided to go check it before making the decision to get upset with my parents. I had to laugh though when I checked my phone and saw that I had only missed a call from April. I hadn’t left a note or called to tell them I was leaving and yet they still did not think to check on me. It seemed petty but my feelings were hurt. I knew things had changed since Shanna had left, but why the changes towards me? It put me in a bad mood. They had the right to do their own thing, but it was a hard pill for me to swallow.

Two weeks went by before Daddy called to check on me. I was still a little mad at him and didn’t even want to answer the phone and pretend like everything was OK. I answered only so that he would know I was still alive but as much as I tried, I couldn’t make myself sound like I was happy to hear from him. He was going on and on about a cruise he and Mommy had booked to the point that I couldn’t even get a word in if I tried. When he finally took a breath, he realized I wasn’t saying anything and finally asked if I was OK. I had to decide quickly if I wanted to get it all off my chest or keep it to myself. I decided on the latter for the simple fact that he sounded so excited that I did not want to rain on his parade. I told him I was fine and could tell he did not buy it, yet he didn’t push the issue and we quickly got off the phone. Since I had arrived to Tennessee, I had wondered how long it would be before he called to check on me. I thought that a call from him would make me feel better. After talking to him, I actually felt worse that he didn’t really seemed concerned about me. Why did I have to pay for the actions of my stupid inconsiderate sister? To make matters worse, it happened the morning that I was to be starting my summer position, waitressing at a local retirement home for lunch. I was glad that Jason was already gone for work and I could spend the morning sulking.

The retirement home in Chattanooga was drastically different from the one I was used to. There were no annoying high school kids and there was much more structure. At first I thought it was a good thing, but as time went on, I realized how boring it was without the annoying kids. They drove me crazy with their stories and dramatics but they also helped the day to go by fast. Working with the older crew made time crawl by, especially when I was working all day. Most mornings I had to talk myself out of just never going back. I knew I would be more miserable sitting around Jason’s all day. He was likely to never admit it, but I was sure it would get old to him also having to support the both of us. So I learned to make the best of it.

The days that Jason and I were both able to get the day off were perfect. We took road trips to Atlanta for the day or to Gatlinburg just for a change of scenery. Some days we rented movies and were total couch potatoes and that was just fine with us. I also became more acquainted with his family. They dropped by, at times unexpectedly, more than I previously knew. Jason said it was unusual for them to do so which led me to believe that once his younger sister found out I was living there for the summer, she told her mother who felt the need to check in on us quite frequently. The first couple of times it wasn’t a big deal to me. I learned quickly to brush off her comments and to ignore her when she rambled. However, when the visits started coming at 7 in the morning when we were still in bed, it began to wear on my patience. I held my tongue since it wasn’t my home, but it wasn’t easy. Jason either didn’t see anything wrong with it or was just too much of a nice guy to put his mom in her place.

Just before the Fourth of July holiday, I heard from my parents again. Apparently travelling was their thing for the summer and they wanted to spend a few days with Jason and me on their way back from Florida. It made me feel a little better that they actually thought about me enough to want to stop and spend a few days with me. However, I did have to consider if it was more of a convenience thing for them to break up a long trip. I hated being so negative but with the way things were with them, it was sketchy that they missed me. It was also odd to me that they wanted to come to Chattanooga at all since it was the place that they saw Shanna at her lowest. There were times when I would ride by her old apartment complex or a restaurant that I knew she liked and it made me feel sad when I thought about happier times she had. It seemed to me that this would be the last place they would want to visit.

Despite our insistence, Daddy booked a hotel in downtown Chattanooga instead of staying with us. We spent half a day cleaning and straightening up just in case they changed their mind though. The plan was to get both of our families together for the festival downtown. I wasn’t enthused about being around his mom, but I figured there would be a large enough crowd that I wouldn’t have to have much interaction with her. My parents arrived late the night before the fourth of July and we had plans to meet along with Jason’s family for lunch downtown and then go to the festival. It was going to be an all-day event and I was pretty excited for it. My excitement was killed when the phone rang and as the conversation continued, the look on Jason’s face told me something was wrong. It was his job saying that they were severely short staff due to call outs. The assistant manager had an emergency and also needed to leave. There really wasn’t a way around it; he had to go help out. I was beyond upset that he had to leave so unexpectedly despite our plans. It was after he left that it hit me that I would be the buffer between both sides of the family alone.

I paced the floor for some time trying to think of any way possible to stop Jason’s family from coming. It would be no problem to entertain my parents, but adding in four other people to the mix made it so much more complicated. I called to tell his mom that Jason had gotten called into work and wouldn’t be able to join us until much later. It didn’t faze her at all. Much to my mortification, she said they would all still be there “ready for a good time.” I instantly went from panic mode to irritated. I didn’t want to be bothered anymore and I didn’t want to have to sit there and make sure everyone was comfortable and getting along. I knew Jason couldn’t help it but I was mad at him. He at least could have thought to call his family and cancel and not put me in such a predicament. I took the longest route possible to my parent’s hotel in an attempt to try and calm my nerves and improve my attitude. It worked a little and I felt a bit better by the time I got to the hotel and parked. The restaurant was in walking distance, which gave me a few minutes to prepare my parents for Jason’s overly talkative mom and sister. Just the thoughts made me feel nauseous. Breathe Cheryl. Breathe.

When we got to the restaurant, Jason’s family was of course already there since his mother always insisted on being early everywhere they went. My stomach was in knots as I introduced everyone to the point that I was stammering over his sisters’ names. It was embarrassing and I wanted to leave without eating. As we sat down at our table, I felt like I was going to have a panic attack. I had to ask myself if it was really that serious. It didn’t take long for Jason’s mom to get warmed up and to start rambling to my parents about her many travels to Florida. Not too long after her, Jason’s younger sister began to chime in and I began to wonder how long it would be before Mommy, who has never been a social person, would start to feel overwhelmed. What I failed to consider was that this wasn’t the Mommy I was used to as a child. She had been getting out more and was coming out of her shell. I sat back and watched as both my parents joined in the conversation easily and seemed to enjoy trading off their experiences. I felt relieved but also like an idiot that the situation had stressed me out so much. It turned out that I didn’t have to be a buffer or the middleman at all and everyone seemed to enjoy the lunch.

The festival was an all-day thing with several different things going on. We split up to do different things and would meet back up only to split up again but it worked out well for us. My time alone with my parents was limited. Daddy and Jason’s dad were off doing their own thing for the majority of the time and Jason’s mom kept whisking Mommy away to see different things. Most of my time was spent with Jason’s two sisters. It was close to 8pm before Jason was finally able to join us. We were able to find a spot on the lawn to listen to live bands play before the fireworks were scheduled to start when his younger sister spotted him making his way towards us looking utterly exhausted. Apparently everyone who didn’t come out to the festival had gone to his store that was short staffed. On top of that he had to fight traffic to get downtown and had a hard time parking. Thus, it was a rare occasion that he was in a bad mood. By the time the band ended their set and the fireworks began, Jason was back to his normal self, laughing and joking with everyone else. We were all tired by the end of the night but still sat on the lawn enjoying each other’s company until security came by and told us we had to clear the area. Everything hadn’t gone as we had originally planned but it turned out to be one of the best days in a long time.