“Sorry, it’s just… Sorry.”
She studied him, then laughed and shook her head. “You’re too sweet. You know that?”
“I am?”
She didn’t answer the question, asking one of her own. “So was last night an epiphany for you? Or are things still the same?”
“I’m gay,” he said.
“Could have fooled me.” Lily raised a hand to stave off any response. “Sorry. That wasn’t fair. Could you get me a water?”
“Sure.” He went downstairs, towel and all, and grabbed a bottle of water from the refrigerator. “For Lily,” he explained to his mother, already praying that would be the end of the conversation.
When he was back upstairs, he got dressed while Lily slowly rehydrated herself. He supposed there was no point in being modest now.
“I slept with a girl once.”
William turned around in surprise, tugging a shirt down around his hips. “What?”
“I slept with a girl,” Lily repeated. “The circumstances were similar. We were high instead of drunk, and I had just signed the divorce papers. She was my attorney. Ugh. Anyway, I was horny, vulnerable, and needy, so I figured what the hell. It felt great too, but the next morning, I wasn’t looking for a repeat. Humans are physical creatures, and in the right situation, we’re capable of doing things way outside our norm. So if that’s how you’re feeling right now, I understand.”
William nodded. “Yeah. That’s where I’m at. What about you?”
Lily sighed and stood. “I was planning on proposing.”
William’s stomach dropped again. Then he felt foolish when she started laughing. “Okay. You got me.”
“The truth is,” she said, stepping close and kissing him on the cheek, “I would happily call you my man if you were straight. But you’re not, and I accept that. Getting to steal your virginity was pretty awesome though.”
“I wasn’t a virgin!” William protested.
“Your straight virginity then,” Lily said, heading for the door. “I’m going to use the restroom. Then I’m out of here.”
“You can stay,” he said hurriedly. “We can go out for breakfast or something.”
“Tomorrow,” Lily said. “As cool as I’m playing this, it is a little weird. I need my space to think it all through.”
“Okay,” he said, feeling unhappy. “I know we haven’t seen each other in forever, but I hope this doesn’t ruin anything.”
Lily smiled. “I have a lot to think about, but I already know I’m not letting this come between us. Nothing has been ruined, I promise. I’ll see you later. Okay?”
William wouldn’t let her get away that easily. “Come here.” He grabbed and hugged her, squeezing twice. Then he returned the kiss to her cheek. “I’m glad it was you.”
She pulled away, nodding in understanding. “So am I.”
“You’ll call, right?”
She laughed. “Maybe. You’ll definitely see me again.”
“Jason has a housewarming party on Saturday,” he said. “Wanna be my date?”
“You’re not making this easier on me,” Lily said, shaking her head. “You’re really going?”
“I agreed to,” William said. “He was really insistent. After everything else I’ve done, I don’t want to break a promise.”
“Fine. I’ll be your plus one, but that doesn’t mean I’ll put out!”
He laughed. “My loss. I mean that.”
“You better.” She looked at him with longing eyes, then turned and walked out of his room, but hopefully, not his life.
* * * * *
William knew he should stay away from Jason. He promised himself he would. Not out loud, thankfully, because that made it count. He tried his best to distract himself regardless. He took Lily out to breakfast the next day, and to his relief, their friendship mostly felt the same. She kept teasing him about his O face, doing what he hoped was a very exaggerated imitation, but there were no longing glances or lingering tension. They were friends, the experience bringing them closer rather than causing a rift.
William spent time around the house and got to know Buck better, mostly to make his mom happy. He went shopping with his father and Gina, who insisted on buying him new clothes. He even contacted Kelly, wanting to make sure he was doing okay. From the sound of things, he was doing great and about to have his first photography exhibition. They made plans to meet there. Despite all of this, he was left with time on his hands. He went to his old YMCA every morning and swam, picked up around the house, helped run errands, and yet still found opportunities to dream about Jason, miss him, and think of excuses to see him.
That’s how he ended up at a pet store, and when that didn’t pan out, the animal shelter where Jason volunteered. He had no way of knowing if he’d be there, but Jason wasn’t at his day job, so he had to be either there or at home. Unless he was visiting Ben and Tim. Or was on a date with his boyfriend. Ugh.
William’s heart pulled out of a nosedive when he saw a guy in a field near the animal shelter, holding on to a number of leashes as he was yanked around. Was it Jason? Surely he’d be better at walking dogs at this point. By the time William parked the car and got out, the field was empty, so he went inside.
“Can I help you?” asked an older woman working the front counter. “Are you looking to adopt?”
“I’m definitely searching for an orphan,” he said. The joke fell flat, so he added. “I just wanted to look around. A friend of mine works here. Jason Grant?”
“Jason!” the woman said happily. “Of course.”
“Is he working tonight?”
“Yes. Should I get him?”
“No! No, like I said, I just wanted to have a look around.”
“Okay.” The woman pointed him in the right direction.
William walked to a wall of large cages, expecting to find an equally large animal inside of one. Instead he saw a cat tree, a number of beds and toys, and a litter box off to one side, but no cat. A photo of an orange tabby hung on the cage, a printed explanation below the name and description:
Privacy gives our animals a sense of security. If you’re interested in seeing a potential pet that is shy, please ask a member of staff for assistance.
The next cage was the same, and the next, except the fat tabby there steadily glared at him from the highest bed.
A door squeaked open, attracting his attention. Jason walked in and turned in the opposite direction, attention on people browsing other cages. William strode over to him as quietly as possible. “I’m looking for a housewarming present,” he said.
Jason spun around, William tense because he was uncertain what his reaction would be. Surprise, but then what? Anger? More harsh words? Nope. A smile! When William saw it, he felt like grabbing Jason and nuzzling noses... or maybe not, because something smelled gross.
“Oh!” Jason said, noticing him sniffing. He lifted one of his feet. “I had a little accident. A dog, I mean. Not me. Ha ha!” His cheeks became redder. “So what are you doing here?”
“Like I said, I’m looking for a housewarming present.”
Jason shook his head, not satisfied with his answer. “But how did you know I’d be here?”
“Just because we’ve been apart four years, doesn’t mean we haven’t spoken. We kept in touch a fair amount, didn’t we?”
“Yeah, of course. It’s just that there’s more than one animal shelter in Austin and—”
William cut him off. “All those text messages you sent me? Every email and letter? I read them all. Multiple times. I never stopped caring about you. My leaving wasn’t about that.” This outburst was greeted with silence, but he felt better for having said it. He wished it would turn into a discussion, but Jason’s mouth had clamped shut. “So anyway, what sort of pet do you think my friend would like? He’s about your age, your size. Just got himself a rockin’ two-bedroom apartment.”
Jason tore his eyes away, considering the cages as he started walking. “Hm. I’d imagine he likes big dogs. Not really into puppies because they take more effort and get adopted easily. He’s probably the type who likes ugly mutts with problems, because he knows they’ll have a hard time finding a home.”
“So something big, ugly, and weird. Have anything like that here at the moment?”
Jason stopped. “Honestly, I bet your friend is a little too overwhelmed with all the changes in his life to take on a pet right now. It’s a nice idea. I’m sure your friend will appreciate the thought.”
“I hope so,” William said, wishing he hadn’t introduced the word friend, even though it was probably accurate. They had been so much more once, but that’s how these things went. When romantic relationships come crashing down, in the best-case scenario, the only thing you can pull from the rubble is a friend. Speaking of which… “Hey, I called Kelly the other day.”
Jason’s face became a little strained. “Really? How did that go?”
“Fine. He said you guys had lost touch.”
“Yeah. Sad but true. We actually got along pretty well after you were gone.”
“I heard. Anyway, his photography has really taken off. He has his first exhibition next week, and look—” William pulled out a folded brochure he had picked up, pointing at the address. “That’s Tim’s gallery, right?”
“Yeah,” Jason said.
“So do you want to go with me?”
“To the opening?” Jason hesitated. “Is that a good idea? If you’re trying to get back with Kelly…”
William laughed. “No. And even though that bridge has been thoroughly and completely burned, I still want to show my support.”
“Yeah.” Jason nodded. “Okay. It’ll be good to see him again.”
“I wonder why Tim didn’t mention it to you.”
“Probably didn’t make the connection. You’d be surprised how many artists try to get their stuff shown at the gallery. It’s getting national attention.”
“Cool. Hey! Did he and Ben tie the knot yet?”
Jason looked exasperated. “Nope. They haven’t even set a date. They’re too happy or superstitious or who knows what. I think they’re being silly and should get it over with.”
“Hm. Maybe we should have a preacher meet us there one morning, march up to their room, and make them go through with it before they can even get out of bed.”
This made Jason laugh. “Yeah, we should! That might start a new trend. People can get married in bed and consummate the marriage right then and there.”
“Would make being a preacher a lot more interesting.”
They laughed, walking past a few more cages. William tapped one of the signs defending an animal’s right to privacy. “Is this your work? I remember you talking about wanting to improve conditions here. Looks like a nice setup.”
Jason nodded. “It’s better, but still not what I want. Do you remember Marcello?”
William made a face. “How could I forget?”
“No kidding. I think I want to get his help. He’s good at fundraising. I’ve been doing all right, but we’ll need real public awareness and support to make this shelter into what I’m dreaming of.”
“I imagine the cages going completely,” William said. “You’ll train the animals to run the place. A Doberman will open the door and greet people when they arrive. A sheep dog will work the counter, and that grumpy-looking cat back there will be the security guard.”
“You read my mind,” Jason said. “For now, I’d just be happy to find them all homes. Speaking of which, we have work to do.”
“We?”
Jason nodded happily. “You’re walking the dogs with me.”
“I can do that!”
“And picking up any poop we find.”
“Oh.”
“There’ll be treats at the end.”
William perked up. “Really?”
“For the dogs.” Jason nudged him playfully. “Let’s go.”
Once they were outside, the light of the day slowly fading, William expected the conversation to turn serious. Now they would tackle unresolved issues of the past, discussing why they shaped the present and what that meant for the future. He remained silent so Jason could broach whatever subject he most needed to, but all he seemed interested in talking about was animals.
“That’s basically you,” he said, nodding to the dog William was walking.
“Gosh, thanks.”
“I mean it. If you were a breed, that’s the one it would be.”
The dog had tight curly hair, not unlike that of a poodle, its fur charcoal gray. “We don’t look much alike.”
“No, but a Portuguese Water Dog is bred to be a good swimmer. They even know how to dive. Traditionally they used to go out with fishermen, so they’re very hard-working.”
“Cool!” William said, a little more spring in his step. “In that case, thank you.”
Jason laughed. “No problem. If you ever want to adopt, that would be a good match.”
“And what about you?” William asked. “I’m not really planning on getting you a dog, but which breed would you be?”
Jason shrugged. “I’m not sure. I don’t think many dogs know how to play guitar or enjoy horror movies.”
William chuckled. “How about dogs that are nurturing?”
“Nurturing?”
“Yeah. Like they help take care of others. That’s what you’re doing here. I think it’s awesome.”
Jason smiled at the compliment. “Maybe one of the sheep herding breeds then. Like a Border Collie.”