“I think so,” William said. “A lot of that depends on Jason.”
“If he’s anywhere near as happy to see you as I am, you won’t have any trouble. And if it doesn’t work out…” She put a hand over his, “I’ve got a shoulder you can cry on.”
William flipped his hand over so he could squeeze hers. “Thanks,” he said. “That means a lot to me.”
They spent the next hour dredging up old memories and laughing at how young they had been. Then they made plans to meet again. After he had said goodbye to Lily, William went to the kitchen, determined to help clean up the mess. He found the food put away, the dishwasher running. His mother was leaning against the counter, sipping a cup of coffee.
“I didn’t want to disturb you,” she said. “Did you have fun?”
“Yeah! I never should have lost touch with her.”
“I’m glad. I wasn’t sure if I should invite her, but I couldn’t resist. I thought about inviting Jason too.”
“It’s good you didn’t,” William said. “I want to surprise him. He doesn’t know I’m back in town, does he?”
“I kept it secret, just like you requested.” Kate set aside her coffee and moved forward to hug him. “I’m so happy you’re home! I know you’re probably sick of hearing it.”
“Nope! I feel the same way.”
“I hope you stay. I know you’re a man now and need to live your own life, but I like having you here.”
“We’ll see.” He went to the sink to fill a glass of water.
“There’s someone else I thought about inviting,” his mother said.
“Who?” He turned around when she didn’t answer and saw her biting her bottom lip. “You’re with someone? I know you’ve been dating, but… Is it serious?”
She nodded. “Very. You’ll be seeing a lot of him. That is, if you’re comfortable. Otherwise—”
“I think it’s great!” He thought about it and guffawed. “Gosh, pretty soon I might have a new dad!”
“It’s no joke,” Kate said. “I love him.”
William put on a more serious expression. “Why didn’t you mention this sooner?”
“I wanted to be sure before I told any of you children. I didn’t want to— Oh, it doesn’t matter. I like Gina. Did I tell you that? She’s a decent person.”
“So are you,” William said. “Forget that, you’re amazing! I’m proud of how far you’ve come.”
“Stop,” his mother said, cheeks rosy.
“So when do I get to meet this guy?”
“Soon. He’s around the house a lot these days.”
“What’s his name?”
“Buck.”
William snorted.
His mother scowled. “What?”
“He’s got a porn star name.”
“Laugh all you want. He has the equipment to back it up.”
“Mom!”
“Well it’s true!” She smiled. “It’s not just that. He’s sentimental. I don’t want to say anything bad about your father, but he never wrote me poems. Or showed up at my work with flowers. Or asked for a lock of my hair.” Kate covered her mouth and laughed.
“Buck does all of those things?”
“Yes.”
“Then I like him already.”
In truth, the idea of his mother being with someone besides his father was a little odd, but he had gotten used to Gina, and he was sure he would get used to this Buck person too. “So much has changed,” he murmured. “I feel like I’ve been gone for ages.”
“There’s still a place for you here,” Kate said. “That hasn’t changed. Neither have Jason’s feelings for you.”
“Are you sure?”
“I am. Just you wait and see.”
* * * * *
William awoke feeling warm nostalgia, remembering days gone by and selectively choosing which ones he allowed his mind to drift back to. A narrow sliver of history between Kelly and the Coast Guard, when all that he and Jason had was each other. If he was lucky, he would return to that world today. The morning was for getting ready, the time beyond for meeting his mother’s new man. After a nice lunch, she urged him to try his luck. William ignored the car, hopping on his bike like he always had. He’d arrive sweaty and disheveled, but that had never stopped Jason from kissing him or pulling him close for a hug.
He grinned while pedaling to the edge of town, laughing when he imagined bugs getting stuck in his teeth like they did in the grill of a car. Then he reached a private drive that was easy to miss, but he hadn’t forgotten where it was. He rode down it at a leisurely pace, butterflies filling his stomach. They were welcome to stay there. Soon, if all went right, he and Jason would be together again.
A moving van was the first thing to shake his optimism. Were Ben and Tim relocating? Had they already gone, the new owners moving in? Then he saw a guy jump down from the loading bay. Even from behind, the lanky frame and broad shoulders were instantly familiar to him. As was the sweaty mop of perpetually messy hair. Jason crouched, picked up a cardboard box, and disappeared behind the van again. William rode closer and saw him yanking on the door to close it, which was funny, because a box still sat on the ground, waiting to be loaded.
“You forgot one!” William called out, bringing his bike to a halt.
Jason stuck his head out of the van, eyes widening in disbelief. William set the bike on the ground and picked up the box, handing it to him with a smile. Jason placed his hands on the cardboard but didn’t pull it away, still staring.
“Moving?” William asked.
“Very,” Jason replied. Then he blinked a few times, looking slightly panicked. “I mean, yes.” He finally took the box and loaded it into the van. When he turned back around, he had recovered somewhat. “Home for a visit?”
William shook his head. “Home for good.”
Jason was clearly overwhelmed. He slowly sat down on the edge of the truck’s loading platform, speaking carefully. “You’re moving home?”
William nodded. “More accurately, I moved home already. I’m back.”
“No more Coast Guard?” Jason asked, making it sound like William had been fighting cancer and was finally in remission.
“I’m considering my options, but no more active duty. I decide what I want to do now. Please tell me you aren’t moving away from Austin.”
“No!” Jason said hurriedly. “I finally got my own place in town. With Emma, actually.”
“Emma? Wow. Is she—”
“Eighteen,” Jason said, as if he couldn’t believe it either. “Time flies by. She’s starting college in the fall.”
“Wow. How long was I gone?”
“Four years!” Jason finally returned his smile. “I can’t believe you’re back!”
“Feels like a dream, doesn’t it?”
Jason looked him over, as if it might be and William would disappear at any second. As much as people kept telling him he had changed, Jason looked exactly the same. Still the intense eyes, the sun on his nose and cheeks, and his over-due-for-a-cut hair that wouldn’t meet Coast Guard standards. William wanted nothing more than to run his fingers through it, or to taste the salt on his lips, but first he had to be sure.
“So,” he asked as casually as possible. “What’s going on in your life?”
Jason understood the question. His mouth opened and closed again, like he couldn’t find the right words. Was that a good sign or bad? Was he simply excited that they could finally be together again, or trying to find a way of explaining why they couldn’t?
“Ready to go?” said a familiar voice. “Oh hey! Look who’s here!”
William turned. Another sweat-soaked guy. Like Jason, he wore an old T-shirt, this one pressed against a lot more ridges, because time hadn’t made any of Tim’s muscles sag. William had seen plenty of bodies in top condition while in the service, but something about Tim still made him both nervous and giddy. “How’s it going?” he managed.
“Excellent, my man! Is this it? You’re back?”
“That’s the idea!”
Tim offered him a hand. “I’d hug you, but…” He gestured at his damp T-shirt. “So is it like other branches of the military where you’re still on reserve?”
“Yeah.” He turned to include Jason in the conversation, wanting to reassure him. “That just means I’ll get called in during really big emergencies. I have a couple days of training every month and two weeks’ active duty per year. Other than that, it’s back to a normal life.”
Jason’s reaction to this news was hard to gauge, especially since Tim had more questions. “But you’ll be living in Austin?”
“I think so.”
“Doing what?”
William exhaled. “Taking some time off! Then I have to figure out the rest of my life. Easy, right?”
Tim laughed. “Best of luck. I’m still trying to figure out mine.”
“What’s all the—” Ben appeared at the front door. Then he hurried forward. Even though William had managed to work up a sweat too, Ben hugged him. “Look at you!” he said, taking a step back. “How long has it been?”
“A couple years,” William answered sheepishly.
“You’re all grown up,” Ben said with shining eyes.
“People keep saying that like I joined the Coast Guard when I was a toddler.”
“Just wait until you’re my age,” Ben said. “You were a baby in my eyes.”
“You’re not that old,” William said. “You look… Twenty-three? Am I right?”
Ben pointed at him while addressing the others. “I love this man. Seriously.” He turned back to William. “Now that your four years are up, we won’t let you escape again. Move in with us.”
Jason made a choking noise.
“I guess there’s a free room now,” William joked. “I can’t believe you’re letting
him
get away.”
“Don’t start,” Tim said in exasperation. “We’ve begged and pleaded for Jason to stay. Maybe you can talk some sense into him.”
“Yes!” Ben said excitedly. “If anyone can convince him to stay, it’s you!”
He liked the sound of that. He looked to Jason, who seemed dazed. “What do you say? I’ll help move everything back inside.”
“The lease is signed,” Jason said. “I’d be letting Emma down. She needs to live close to campus. And I need to keep an eye on her.”
“Sorry,” William said, addressing Ben and Tim again. “I tried my best. I’ll help with the rest of the move. It’s the least I can do.”
“Yeah!” Tim said, playfully jostling him. “We could do with an extra set of muscles.”
“That rules me out,” Ben said. “I’ll hold down the fort here.”
“Sounds like a plan,” Tim said. “You guys ready to go?”
They climbed into the moving van, Jason taking the middle seat. The truck was wonderfully cramped, meaning their arms were touching. William wanted more than that. A hand on his leg, a kiss on his neck. Tim kindly provided a diversion from these urges, asking him about his service time. William tried to make his answers funny or interesting. Jason remained distant despite his best efforts.
They arrived at an apartment complex, the kind with a dedicated entrance to a campus of buildings. Jason’s was at the very rear. They parked the truck, then each grabbed a box before heading up to the third floor, setting them down on the carpet in an empty living room.
“What goes where?” Tim asked.
“You haven’t seen the place?” William asked. When Tim shook his head, he added, “Give us a tour!”
“Okay.” Jason gestured around. “Living room. I figure the couch Emma is bringing will go on that wall. We’ll put my TV across from it.” He pointed to the end of the room. “Kitchen is over there. We’re thinking of making the dining room corner an office area instead, because the bedrooms are too small for desks, but at least we each have a private bathroom. Emma’s bedroom is on that side.” He pointed to a door, then faced the opposite direction. “I’m over here.”
He led them to it, turning in a circle once, considering the possibilities. He seemed proud. William supposed Jason hadn’t been on his own for quite some time. “Oh yeah, check out the balcony!” The land behind the building wasn’t developed, providing a nice view of a wooded area. “The other apartment we were considering was bigger and cheaper, but no balcony, only one bathroom, and it was right next to a busy road. This is nicer.”
William thought so too. He could already imagine sitting out there at night, a candle burning on a small table between two chairs, but only one would be occupied because Jason would be on his lap. Or maybe the reverse.
“Okay,” Tim said. “Let’s get this over with.”
Moving sucked. As much as William liked to stay active, hauling boxes and furniture up flights of stairs wasn’t fun. It also limited how much he and Jason could interact, since anything that required two people to lift was handled by him and Tim. Still, being apart from Jason provided plenty of motivation to get things finished as quickly as possible. William worked his ass off, chest heaving by the time they were finally through.
Then they sat on the floor, letting tense muscles relax. William’s back was killing him.
“I’m starving,” Tim moaned. “Let’s order pizza.”
“Better call Ben first,” Jason said. “He might have fixed something for us.”
“Good idea.” Tim groaned as he got to his feet, grabbed his phone from the kitchen counter and went outside to make the call.
Alone at last! William looked at Jason, who also seemed to realize that they finally had privacy. The tension was thick before they laughed to dispel it.