Somewhere in Between (20 page)

Gemma still occasionally saw Trisha before her sessions began, but had yet to tell anyone, even Elliot.

"She keeps her nightmares from me. She always says what they're about, but I know there's got to be more. And that just makes mine that much more intense." He sat in the room, his hands gripping the armrests of his chair. It was his second meeting.

"What are your nightmares consisting of?"

"I used to dream about finding her. And that was gruesome enough, because in my dreams, I see everything more clearly than I did that night," he whispers, his voice cracking. "But lately, I'm not just seeing that. I'm actually seeing them hurt her. I'm actually seeing it happen. And I only know what she's said, so my mind is making up all these horrific things." He looked up at Dr. Archuleta, his eyes pleading for answers. "What is wrong with me? I don't want to see Gemma hurting so why am I seeing her being hurt? Why am I seeing it happen instead of just the aftermath of it? Why am I seeing this?"

For a long while, Dr. Archuleta sat staring at Elliot, a contemplative look on her face. When she spoke, it was soft. "Gemma had something very awful happen to her. And you were the one who found her after. While the actual act happened to her, you are just as much a victim as she is. You are very young, and something like this shouldn't have happened to her, and you should never have had to see it. You've told me you feel guilt. You've described regrets you have in regards to Gemma. Your subconscious is punishing you because you think you deserve it. And it is using your dreams, creating these images to do it with."

"So I need to get over it then," he said more to himself. But it was still heard.

"No, you don't. In no way is that something I'm saying or believe." He looked away from the words. "Why don't you tell me about these regrets you have."

By the time that session was over, Elliot had laid out finding the note Gemma had hidden, liking Trisha like a fool, not asking Gemma to the dance like he'd really wanted without knowing it, and then finding out Gemma was so uncomfortable being around him that she lied about a date just to get away and ended up hurt. He felt exhausted. In their next session, Dr. Archuleta wanted to delve into his feelings for Gemma more. She hadn't given him any answers just yet, but it was good to get much of his thoughts out. And it was to someone Gemma wasn't freaked out about knowing.

As he left the office, his mom was waiting for him. "How'd it go?" she asked, starting the car.

It was still hard for him to be so near the Fairview-they were going to touch on that topic next session too, so Grace offered to drive him. She still didn't know anything, and it was getting harder every day to keep it from her. Fortunately, Gemma had agreed that his mom could know, but after the holidays. She didn't want them ruined for anyone because of what had happened to her. "It was good. She told me to enjoy my holiday and not to dwell on anything, but it was good."

"I'm glad."

*LtB*

Gemma’s birthday had come and gone and went without any fanfare. Regardless of it being her sweet sixteen.

It was her only request for the day and her family and friends honored her wishes. She was given art supplies, left unwrapped on her desk so as not to draw attention. While it bothered everyone to not celebrate Gemma’s birth, they all understood she wasn’t in the best place for celebrations. Even passing her driving test was a subdued affair.

Christmas was again celebrated with the merging of the Grady and Wade families. This time however, they held the holiday at Elliot's house. It was a good celebration, and Gemma felt good that she only tensed up a couple times in Dalton's presence. And it wasn't enough to garner attention from Elliot or Leigh. She felt proud of herself. She knew the biggest part of dealing with Dalton wasn't so much that he was a male, as being in Trent and Josh's presence had shown her that wasn't so much her fear anymore when it came to those she knew, but that he knew her secret. She was slowly working through that. Her goal was to talk to him soon. And to thank him for being so good a father to Elliot.

Caroline and Grace again cooked, and Christie helped. She was slowly coming to be more like the person Gemma had first met, rather than the girl who had hurt so many people. She performed her community service, both at the hospital and the shelter Trisha's mom ran, as well as maintained keeping a tutor. She also avoided Penny and Cassie as much as possible. Things were changing for Christie. She'd even asked for Josh's forgiveness.

Everyone was starting to hope again.

Elliot and Gemma exchanged gifts privately in Elliot's room. Gemma had found, in talking with Dr. Archuleta, that she needed an outlet to keep her mind from constantly falling into despair. As a child Gemma had always loved to draw, and throughout junior high had taken art classes. Skyview High had art classes, but they weren't as advanced as Gemma had become even though she and Elliott still took them. But once needing an outlet was brought up, she returned to one of her favorite pastimes, using her skill to move forward.

And so that was her gift. Gemma had drawn a picture of them in the park, how she imagined they would be at their most happiest, the sun shining, and flowers in bloom. While she was terrified he wouldn't like it, she knew it was the best she could do. Besides, she didn't like going into stores just yet, so buying anything was out of the question unless she asked Leigh to do it and that just seemed too impersonal.

Turned out, Elliot had the same thought in regards to a gift more personal than something purchased at a store. He loved the drawing, and in return gave Gemma a thumb drive of music he'd recorded of himself playing his piano. She laughed with contented tears in her eyes, when he told her his mom was so glad to see all those lessons he fought her on as a child had paid off. He did not tell her that his mom thought it was a very romantic gesture.

While the families didn't come together again for New Years, Elliot and Gemma did spend it together, in her house, watching the ball drop from New York on television, while their parents and Leigh were out at parties. As the clock struck midnight, Gemma took a deep breath and turned to her best friend, wished him a Happy New Year, and gently kissed his cheek. She was nervous and scared and elated all at the same time. But she didn't have a panic attack.

Elliot was surprised and shocked and
aroused
. He hadn't expected the kiss, as innocent as it was, and the feel of Gemma's lips on his skin instantly set off his teenage hormones. He tried to think of everything gross to make the tightening in his pants lessen. It only barely worked when he imagined his grandmother naked. So gross. Taking deep, calculated breaths to calm down, he looked at his best friend and smiled shakily.

She looked so beautiful, her cheeks full of blush, her eyes wide with uncertainty. He didn't want her to regret it, so he carefully leaned toward her, and returned the kiss to her cheek. And just as amazing as it had felt to have her lips on him, the feel of his lips on her, he'd never imagined or been grossed out by his grandmother so much.

"Happy New Year, Gemma." He laced his fingers with hers and sat back, watching her and the TV as Katy Perry sang in the celebration.

*LtB*

The peacefulness of break ended the moment school started up again. While the threat of Cassie having to move away had quickly made its way around the school, it hadn't changed anything. And when Elliot and Gemma entered the building Monday after break was over, they found out things had gotten worse.

Tears streaming down her face, Christie ran up to them. "Oh God, Gemma, I can't believe it! Why didn’t you say anything? I would've helped you, you know."

"What? What happened?" Gemma asked, hearing an accusatory tone to Christie’s voice while noticing for the first time how people were staring at her, their eyes filled with sympathy and questions; something that she hadn't had to deal with before.

"It's Cassie and Penny," Christie cried.

"What did they do now? Did they finally get what's coming to them?" Elliot asked, his voice low and full of irritation at hearing those two names from his sister.

But Christie didn't look at her brother. "Penny saw you in near North Suburban, at that medical office with all the shrinks." The words hung in the air as Gemma absorbed the shock of them. "Her parents are making her speak to a doctor about why she's acting out. She saw you leaving one of the offices just before Christmas. She asked the receptionist what that doctor did, found out what her specialty is. Oh, God, Gemma, it's not true, is it?"

"What's not true" Elliot asked, trying to remain calm though he wanted to scream. This couldn’t be happening. It wasn’t fair.

More tears fell from Christie's eyes. "She said she's a doctor for people who've been…who've been…
hurt
."

She couldn't say it. And Gemma didn't really need to hear her say it. The loud ringing in her ears, the intense beating of her heart had her ready to fly into a full on anxiety attack. She could feel Elliot's hands on her arms, trying to get her to focus on him, but she couldn't. Christie knew. And Gemma knew Penny and Cassie did not keep things to themselves. That meant….

"Did she tell everyone?" Her voice was surprisingly calm even though her breath was not.

"Oh God," Christie cried harder, her head nodding.

People were looking at them now. And she couldn't breathe. The last thing she remembered before passing out was the concern on Elliot's face. It had been months since she wished she were dead. And now two petty girls had managed to bring everything back up again and destroy every positive she'd earned. And then everything was black.

CHAPTER ELEVEN

When her eyes finally opened again, she was in the nurse's office. She had a splitting headache, with the back of her head hurting to touch. But Gemma didn't feel much of that pain. Instead, her insides felt like they had been mangled and trampled on, and her heart, it was shattered. Tears pricked at her eyes as the weight of what those two vile scraps of flesh had done to her.

"Gemma?"

Elliot was by her side, his face drawn with anger and sadness playing through his eyes. He was holding her hand, and she hadn't even noticed. "Why?" she croaked out, her sobs stopping anything more from escaping.

"I don't know. I don't know what the hell is wrong with them." He was angry. No, he was beyond angry. He had been brought up to never lay a hand on a woman, but at the moment, Elliot wanted nothing more than to rip Penny and Cassie apart with his bare hands. "They're in the principal's office right now. Their parents are on the way, if they're not here already."

She just nodded. Before she could say anything, the door flew open and her parents burst into the room. "Oh God, baby, are you okay?" her father asked, as he pulled her to him.

She wanted to say she was fine, but it was a lie. Shaking her head no, Gemma burst into tears again. "They told everyone!" she wailed against her father, feeling her mom cradle her from behind. She still held to Elliot's hand. "Why did they do this?
How
could they do this?"

"I don't know, sweetie, but we are going to take care of it," Caroline answered with a hard edge to her voice and an even harder look to her eyes.

"I asked Deputy Strauss to come down and talk with them," Andrew interjected. "He's real good at his job and he owes me a favor."

"Can they be prosecuted for what they've done?" Elliot asked, glad to hear the Thornton Police was going to be involved somehow. He was sick and tired of these two girls causing so much upheaval in so many people’s lives and having no consequences taken seriously.

Grace and Dalton entered the room before anyone could respond. They both moved to Elliot immediately. "Oh my God, honey! Grace grabbed to her son and held tight.

"I didn't know you guys were called." He pulled out of his mother's embrace to look at his parents. There was a hard line to Dalton's face, something that Elliot couldn't ever remember seeing, not even with Christie acting the way she had been

"Christie called us. Told us to get down here immediately because something very, very bad had happened and we were needed. She said there are stories going around the school. Stories about something having happened to Gemma,” Grace answered. She looked at her son, as though checking him, and then she looked at Gemma in anguish. "Is it true?" she whispered.

Pulling out of the embrace she was still cradled in by her parents, Gemma acknowledged Elliot’s parents. She could see tears brimming in Grace's eyes, which only made her sobs return harder. She didn't know what Grace knew, but it didn't matter, her agony was all of an answer Grace needed. "I'm sorry."

"I… we were going to tell you soon. We had just been waiting for the holidays to end. We didn’t want to ruin it for everyone." Elliot looked at his mom, his eyes pleading with her to understand. Pleading with her to not be mad at them. "It shouldn't have happened this way. None of this should have happened." Elliot sat down heavily, gripping Gemma's hand tighter.

"Oh my poor girl," Grace wept, moving to join in on the embrace of Gemma. "I am so sorry, child. So very sorry," she said, stroking Gemma's hair.

While the action should have been a comfort, it was anything but. And too soon, unwanted images were barreling through her mind. Gemma could feel three pairs of hands caressing at her, and she could feel her breath pick up. A panic attack was quickly closing in on her. Gripping Elliot's hand as hard as she could, Gemma tried to get him to help her.

"Gemma?" Elliot asked, his hand starting to hurt. He couldn't see her face, but the way she was grasping onto him, surrounded by her parents and his mom, confused him. And then he heard her whimper. Without another thought, he pulled Gemma to him swiftly, yanking her out of the parental embrace and right into his lap. She instantly wrapped her arms around his neck, burying her face in the crook as sobs overwhelmed her small form.

He couldn't even take pleasure in the thrill of having her in his lap. Four sets of eyes were staring at him. "Sorry. She was getting scared."

"Scared?" Andrew almost bellowed, but calmed after a stern look from Caroline. “Why would she be scared of us?”

"It was… it was three guys who hurt her. The three of you, being so close, were making her remember," Elliot barely whispered. His mom looked completely heartbroken and he knew she didn't know much. After Gemma had passed out, after he once again carried her away, while waiting for her to wake, Elliot had made Christie tell him what she knew. All Christie knew was Gemma was seen leaving the office of a therapist that dealt with sexual assault and that Penny had seen her on more than one occasion, which was what prompted her to find out more. She didn't know any of Gemma's story, but decided, “just for the fun of it” to tell anyone she could that Gemma was seeing a shrink. The idea that Gemma was a “head case” was all Penny needed to spread her rumors. And she’d managed to let slip the exact type of shrink too though she didn’t know any real information outside of that.

It was enough to break Gemma regardless.

He decided it was up to Gemma to tell Christie anything more. Right now, he had to contend with the parents. "She doesn't mean to make you feel bad," he sighed heavily. He was stroking her back, his fingers threading through her hair. Only marginally was Gemma calming, and while he loved being able to help her, his heart was shattered. “She doesn’t mean it.”

Grace sat down heavily, and looked up at Dalton. "Did you know?"

Elliot watched his father, who had been watching his interaction with Gemma. "Yeah," he answered finally. Removing his eyes from Elliot, he looked toward Grace. "It was after Christie and Elliot fought. He needed to talk to someone and you had told me to talk to him."

His mom just shook her head. "I can't believe… what is going to become of these girls? And how did they find out to begin with?"

"Christie said Penny asked the receptionist at the office what the doctor specialized in. They don't know anything more than Gemma was seeing a therapist for assault cases. Well, not even that much. They just know she was at an office where that is practiced." Elliot could feel Gemma's breathing hitch again. She was trying so hard to be strong. "They made up their own minds with the reason why on their own."

Dalton sighed. "We're going to have to talk to the receptionist. Whether she knows it or not, she violated HIPPA law." He sat down beside Grace. "Just because she didn't give any personal information, she did reveal something that would otherwise be kept confidential." He looked at Elliot then, his eyes forceful. "I'll call the board and get things started as soon as we leave here."

"Is that why you wanted to see her too?" Grace asked softly. "The therapist, because of what happened to Gemma? I know how close you two are, best friends, so I can only imagine how horrible this has all been for you."

They were talking about her as though she wasn't present, but Gemma was too tired, too overwhelmed to care. Reaching out, she grabbed for her parents' hands. She didn't want to move from Elliot, but she needed her family closer.

Elliot watched Gemma, watched the way Caroline and Andrew remained silent during this talk, watched how devastation didn't even seem like enough of a word to describe what they were feeling, as they moved closer to their daughter. He waited for Gemma to settle again before answering. "No, that's not the reason." He looked briefly at his father, before moving his eyes to the floor. "I was there," he began and then regretted the wording because the look of horror that crossed his mother's face nearly crushed him. He could only imagine the horrific scenarios running through her head. "I mean after. I was there after. I found Gemma after she was attacked."

"You found her?"

"It was Homecoming. I made a horrible mistake and was trying to right it, so I went to the Fairview, where everything happened, to talk to her." He brushed his lips across her head, trying to keep the images at bay. As much as he didn’t want to say and relive them, he even more wanted to keep them from returning to Gemma’s mind. "She was…stumbling out of an alley. Hurt."

"He saved me," Gemma whispered on a sob.

"Three men attacked Gemma. Elliot got a look at them before they… he found her, got her to go to the hospital and helped make sure she made it home to us," Andrew's gruff voice declared. "I don't know what I'd have done…."

"Elliot has been so wonderful to and for Gemma. You are raising an amazing young man," Caroline interjected, her usually sweet southern voice filled with sorrow.

"She wouldn't have had this happen if I hadn't been such a fool," Elliot whispered low enough so that only Gemma heard him. She shook her head no, but he wouldn't be swayed. He knew it was the truth.

"That's why you've been spending even more time with Gemma than before." Grace shook her head, tears still present in her eyes. "That's why…" She stopped and looked at her husband, a question in her eyes. "That's why you kept your distance from Gemma during the holidays, isn't it? You're not usually so quiet around her. And she’s never really been quiet around you either."

"I didn't want to make Gemma uncomfortable. I wanted her to come to trust me on her own, not because I was someone she knows and should trust because of that," his dad answered, his normally calm voice gravelly.

"I can't believe this." There was a hint of desperation in his mother's voice that was breaking his already broken heart. "How could this happen? What do you know about the three? Have they been arrested?"

Andrew cleared his throat and Gemma tensed. "We're still waiting for any word. So far, no one seems to know who they are or come forward yet. The Broomfield Police assures me they are doing everything they can. We'll see, though."

There was silence after that. No one knowing what to say or how to say it. The six of them just sat and waited to hear from the principal, who was still speaking with Penny and Cassie and their parents. The air was tense, filled with agony and hurt. But there was no way to fix it.

After several more excruciating minutes passed, the door finally opened and in walked Deputy Strauss and Principal Sloane. Gemma tensed up immediately. While she had grown more at ease being at school, it helped tremendously having her sister, Trent and Elliot around to keep most everyone away. But they couldn't help her in regards to Deputy Strauss. He was a deputy, someone her father knew and trusted, but he was also male, and Gemma could not differentiate in her mind in that moment that he was not a threat.

"First and foremost, I want to tell you how very sorry I am for this," Principal Sloane began. "I am sorry for whatever it was that happened to you, Gemma, and for what these two girls have put you through, not only today, but for the last few months."

"What's going to happen?" Andrew asked, getting right to the point. Gemma knew he was doing it for her, her hand was squeezing his very hard, after all.

"After talking with both parents, alone and with the girls, we have decided it would be best if they find a different school to attend."

"What does that mean? Are they leaving voluntarily?" Grace asked.

"Due to the nature of their actions, not just today, but over time, both are going to be expelled," Principal Sloane answered. "We will not tolerate behavior that not only has intent to emotionally and mentally hurt, but also violates the privacy of others."

"Unfortunately the law can't really touch them here," Deputy Strauss jumped in. "They are going to have a court date for vandalism, but because they didn't have enough information, and didn't physically harm Gemma, there is little I can do. If they continue to harass her, or continue to bother her in any way, then I can step in."

"So they just get away with it?" Grace screeched. "From my understanding, they think everything is joke, how is this going to teach them anything?"

"Ma'am, I really wish there was something I could do," Deputy Strauss defended. "Fortunately, we were told both families intend to move away from Thornton. And not to the same locations. The girls will be split up."

"As long as they're gone, right?" Gemma spoke up. She wanted them to be punished for "outing" her secret, or a version of it. She wanted something severe so they could finally understand how what they did hurts others. But if she couldn't have that, at least she could have them not around anymore.

"As long as they're gone," Elliot agreed. He hugged Gemma feeling her relax into his embrace.

After that, the parents, Principal Sloane, and Deputy Strauss left to speak privately.

"I'm afraid of what people are to going to think of me," Gemma murmured after a few moments passed. "What do they know, or
think
they know? Will they say anything?"

Before Elliot could answer, there was a knock on the door to the nurse's office. It opened, and to both Elliot and Gemma's surprise, Trisha Scott was standing on the other side. "I hope it's okay that I stop by. I thought you could use…" she trailed off as she looked at Elliot, her eyes momentarily uneasy, but then she squared her shoulders, and marched on with her thought. "I thought you could use support from someone who understands."