Super Sexual Orgasm: Discover the Ultimate Pleasure Spot: The Cul-De-Sac (2 page)

Pam’s Secret

I am a sex therapist in private practice in Southern California, but I actually began my work in the field of human sexuality as a sexual surrogate. When I first started my work years ago as a surrogate partner, there was another surrogate working at the same clinic—let’s call her Pam—who was able to have, according to her, the most deliciously powerful vaginal orgasms, instantaneously triggered at penetration. Pam had always had these “vaginal volcanoes” as she described them to me. She said the experience was all-consum- ing and enormously, deliciously spellbinding. Her orgasms had never been any different and she actually thought hers was every woman’s experience!

It was so tantalizingly frustrating for me to hear how Pam could offer no explanation for how others could replicate her enormous pleasure. It also seemed strange from a re-search perspective that such an enormous potential for a woman’s pleasure was so little understood. After all, I thought, if we can put satellites in the sky that

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can read the license plate of the car in your driveway, surely we can figure out Pam’s secret!

Well, it wasn’t always easy but I was very determined. Over the years, my therapeutic work and the work of my colleagues moved me closer and closer to discovering Pam’s secret. And finally, after many years, all of the pieces of the puzzle came together. Finally, I was able to understand what Pam’s body had been doing. And, even more important, Pam’s secret became a secret that could be shared.

Introducing the Key to Pleasure: The Cul-De-Sac

The key to super sexual orgasm lies within a small passage of the vaginal canal, just beyond the cervix, known as the cul-de-sac. As is so often the case with labels, the name of this passage belies the truth, for this cul-de-sac is no dead end. To the contrary, this small section of the vaginal canal is so extraordinarily rich in sensitive nerve endings that the slightest contact with a man’s penis or sex toy can trigger an instantaneous orgasm so powerful, so shiveringly all-con- suming, and so absolutely delicious that it practically defies description (though the phrase “lightning bolt” does come to mind!).

This cul-de-sac passage is the gateway to total erotic pleasure. And the “cul-de-sac response” that is triggered during penetration is the secret that is about to change your life. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It is simple. Beautifully simple. But here’s the problem: While every

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woman has a cul-de-sac, not every woman can make this super-charged part of the vaginal canal “available” during intercourse. For most women, the weight and positioning of the uterus tend to compress the vaginal canal at the entrance to the cul-de-sac passage, creating a daunting vaginal roadblock. This most unwelcome obstruction tends to make the special cul-de-sac passage a closed road, inaccessible to penetration by the penis during intercourse. The penis (or dildo) may reach, but it cannot enter, and as a result, the most potentially gratifying erotic experience any woman could imagine remains just out of reach. Out of reach, that is, until now.

Over the past several years I have worked with my colleagues and clients to develop a simple program of exercises and techniques to give a woman the necessary strength and control in her uterus and vagina to actually lift and flatten the uterus during intercourse, to “fan” the vaginal canal, and open the cul-de-sac passage to penetration. The result: super sexual orgasm in the cul-de-sac passage for any woman who has the desire to make it possible.

This program is included in its entirety in Part I. It begins with exercises to build necessary muscle strength and control (Chapter 2). It continues with exercises and techniques to help you capture necessary body motion and positioning (Chapter 3). And it culminates in a powerful synthesis that will bring you to your first super sexual orgasm (Chapter 4). But that is just the beginning. In Part II the larger, more romantic payoffs of SSO become clear as you experience a new sense of strength and confidence, and capacity for intimate connection.

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Super Sexual Orgasm is a Challenge Easily Met

The program I have just described may sound complicated or daunting. It may even sound absolutely exhausting. But it isn’t. The entire program can be completed in less than a few weeks, practicing only
minutes
per day. Minutes! It’s fast, it’s fun, it’s sexy, and it’s foolproof. It all feels fabulous, and it’s truly
easy.
Best of all, it will give you the potential for a
lifetime
of pleasure.

And if it all sounds a little too good to be true, you should know that there are a substantial number of women who have already experienced super sexual orgasm. While some of these women are clients who have learned the secret of the cul-de-sac from me or one of my fellow clinicians, most are not. Like Pam, whose story I’ve already told you, these are just very lucky women—lucky because their uterus lifts and flattens naturally and automatically when they are suf-ficiently aroused during intercourse, and the exquisitely sensitive cul-de-sac becomes open to penetration.

While the majority of these women may not know the exact details of what is happening within their vaginal canal to make their orgasms so powerful, what all of these women
do
know is the explosion of sensation that is triggered by intimate contact with their partner’s penis in this very special passage.

Many of these women actually believe that their orgasms are perfectly normal. After all, it’s normal for them. And these same women are almost always surprised to learn that other women don’t experience half of

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the orgasm that they can experience
regularly
during intercourse. But the fact is that the vast majority of women are nowhere near as lucky as this relatively small group of “natural” success stories. The fact is that the vast majority of women could have intercourse for an entire lifetime without ever experiencing any of these exquisite sensations. But that doesn’t mean they have to.

Today,
every
woman can experience super sexual orgasm, and I am going to show you how. But first, I want to talk to you about arousal and orgasm.

More Secrets

Maybe you already know everything there is to know about the physiology of arousal and orgasm. But my clinical practice has shown me that many women are positively mystified by both processes. Some of the explanations I’ve heard are so wacky I’d swear I was hearing excerpts from a stand-up comedy routine.

You see, we take our birth control pills, have our dia-phragms or condoms at the ready. We have our copies of
Our Bodies, Our Selves
hanging around the house somewhere in case we need to look up something in an emergency. We think we are pretty much sexually self-responsible. But how much do we really know? It’s like the people in the old days who considered themselves to be well-informed when they thought the world was flat: There was a gap between reality and their understanding of it. And there is a similar gap between the reality of what it takes to be sexually well-in- formed and many

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women’s understanding of their bodies.

Now fortunately, we have the information about what happens during arousal and orgasm. The issue isn’t lack of details on this matter. The issue is that most women have seen no reason to obtain this knowledge. Somehow we get aroused, have an orgasm, and that’s that. As for the rest of what’s involved? Whatever.

No more “whatever.” The motivation for knowing is here. In order to work toward increasing your orgasmic ability to an SSO level, you need to have a complete understanding of your sexual functioning. During your SSO you are of course not going to be saying, Now there goes this and there goes that. But to get to that point of total release and abandon where you are not paying attention you have to pay attention in the beginning—starting now.

Aroused and Aware

When you become physically sexually aroused, blood moves from the periphery of your body to the center, especially to the genital area. The vulva and clitoris enlarge and sometimes become a deeper red or pink. Usually you become lubricated: Fluid is produced inside the vagina and along the inner lips by the increased blood flow in this area, causing the tissue walls to “sweat.” You may have noticed you have little to no lubrication. Do not be alarmed. Some women just don’t and instead rely on oils from baby oil to KY jelly. (Remember, if you have a minimal lubrication reflex do not let your

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partner stimulate you until you apply oil, otherwise you will find yourself experiencing pain and irritation.)

You can try to stimulate and increase your lubrication re-flex—the glands called the Bartholin’s glands—by slowly caressing your clitoris, inner and outer lips, and perineum. Gently rest your fingers alongside the sides of the vaginal opening halfway between your clitoris and perineum. Steady but light touching of this area will help stimulate the Bartholin’s glands.

In addition to arousal in the genitals, your body’s experience of arousal can include faster, deeper breathing, increased heart rate, and a psychological feeling of pleasure. Note, however, something you may have experienced yourself from time to time: You can be aroused physically but not psychologically. The body’s experience is only half of the equation, and this is something that both women and men need to be fully cognizant of. Otherwise, there is great room for misunderstanding and confusion.

Reaching the Climax

There are a number of ways in which women have orgasms. Stimulation of the clitoris, for instance, can produce orgasm. Some women can also have one from fondling their breasts, especially the nipples. Other areas that can trigger orgasm include the cervix; the opening of the urethra; the G-spot, located on the upper wall of the vagina; the cul-de-sac (soon to be your new best friend); and the pubococcygeous (PC) muscle (much more on

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this area in particular in our next chapter). Some women experience orgasm with no physical stimulation at all. They can wake from an erotic dream and have one.

Before continuing with this discussion about climax, let’s take a quick look at the physiology of intercourse. During penetration, your PC muscle will tighten around the penis, vibrator, or dildo, and the vaginal walls will tighten as well. Penetration can also cause rubbing up against the G-spot, cervix (which some women find pleasant while others do not), the cul-de-sac (if the uterus flattens and lifts), and the ovaries. If this last possibility occurs, especially during ovu-lation, you may experience great discomfort, even pain. During penetration, the vaginal walls may be caressed. They contain striations or “rugae” that when rubbed can actually be felt as bumps by both women and men. In addition, parts of the vagina may balloon out or tighten during intercourse. Despite the existence of so many body areas in which orgasms can be triggered, many women have never experienced a single climax. Still others remain confused about what is actually taking place. Every woman, of course, experiences her orgasm in an idiosyncratic way, but generally having an orgasm goes like this: The muscles around your uterus and cervix spasm so that your abdomen sucks in or flutters. You may expel some air from your vagina. Your blood pressure, heart rate, and breathing all reach a peak. Your neck, arms, and legs may spasm involuntarily and moments later so does your PC muscle. You may feel a tingling sensation in some parts of your body and a warmth

that moves from your geni—

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tals up to your chest, neck, and face. All the energy created in this process is then rapidly discharged as you feel physically and psychologically released. For the same woman orgasms can vary in intensity. Some may include only PC muscle spasms and a mild, good feeling. Others may be so strong they cause your body to arch off the bed.

I am going over all of this with you because I want you to be confident and comfortable in the knowledge that all orgasms, regardless of magnitude, occur in the same way for every woman. This includes super sexual orgasms. It is not a question of some women being better at orgasms than others. Your body gives you what it has and whatever it is should be appreciated as a beautiful, loving experience. What is important, and why you are reading this book, is to open yourself completely to your maximum orgasmic capacity and delight in it to the hilt.

A Comprehensive Program, a Guaranteed Success

In the chapters that follow I will slowly and methodically lay out all of the exercises and techniques you will need to completely prepare yourself to welcome SSO into your life. These exercises attend to every critical muscle, every critical movement, and every critical feeling, and they are presented in an order that maximizes their impact—an order I would ask you to follow. I hope I’ve anticipated all the questions you might have for me along the way and done my best to answer them. As

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always, though, if you are left with any questions or concerns, you can write to me in care of my publisher.

At times, a given exercise or group of exercises may seem superfluous, repetitive, off-track, or even silly. You need to know that every single exercise in this program has been included for a very specific reason. I want to be absolutely certain that each and every woman who picks up this book will have the consummate experience she is looking for. And to ensure this, I have left no stone unturned. I promise you that by the time you have completed the program it will all make perfect sense, and you will have what you are hoping for: the keys to greater pleasure, greater intimacy, and overwhelming fulfillment.

Some of the techniques we will be exploring in the book are preparatory, that is to say, more like a training to condi-tion your body physically to engage in the SSO process. Other techniques will actually be those you use during the lovemaking experience. As you become familiar with these techniques they will become second nature to you and feel less like a structure. Think of these techniques as a sugar cube on your tongue. At the beginning, in order to get the sweetness you have to have the sensation of a cube dissolving into you. Then you experience the sweetness as a part of yourself.