Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (10 page)

“And what is his last name?”

“I don’t know.”

She sighed. “You were out all day with a boy whom you don’t even know his last name? Madison Avery, we’ve raised you to be smarter than this.”

“We’ve only just met,” I defended myself hotly. “He’s a very nice man, Mom.”

“Oh, because you know just how nice this man is in spite of only just meeting him.” She paused, her eyes narrowing on mine. “Did you say man? Madison, how old is he?”

“He can’t be that much older than me,” I replied honestly. I didn’t actually know Austin’s age.

I didn’t know much about Austin at all, apart from the fact that he had blue eyes, a killer grin, tatted skin, and lived twenty-ish minutes South of town. Oh, and he was a mind blowing kisser. But I doubted that information would do anything to lessen the tension between Mom and me.

“Madison?” Mom snapped my name into the silence and I shook thoughts of Austin from my mind.

“What?”

“What were you doing with him?”

“Hanging out,” I shrugged.

“Where?”

“Mom,” I sighed. “It’s none of your business. I’m almost nineteen and like I said earlier, I’m done living my life beneath you and Dad.” Her lips parted, but I continued. These words were words that I needed to say. I was suffocating, and after a day of breathing, I couldn’t fathom the idea of allowing myself to continue drowning beneath the weight of their misguided concern. “I’m done being questioned when I decide to spend an afternoon with a man. I’m done being told which career I’ll be committing my life to, and if you can’t handle me being my own person, then I suppose I’ll be looking for somewhere else to live.” I sighed at the misting tears in her eyes. “I love you and Dad—so much. But I can’t breathe, Mom.
I need to breathe.
”

A single tear slipped from between her lids to fall from her lashes onto her cheek. She swiped it quickly away with a shaking hand before pulling in a deep breath. “If that’s really how you feel.”

“It is.”

“Then I suppose there’s nothing to be done, but watch you fall, and hopefully pick yourself back up.”

“Falling and getting up are all a part of living life, Mom. If I have to fall to experience, then I welcome the fall.”

“It’s not the fall that worries me, Madison.” She moved to the door of my little space. When she looked back at me, her eyes were haunted and hurting. “It’s the landing.”

I didn’t say anything more, and neither did she, as she walked from the pool house, quietly closing the door behind her.

I didn’t know how to make my parent’s see that I couldn’t continue living life the way that I was living it. I loved them with the entirety of my heart. They were my parent’s, but something had to give. I just couldn’t keep walking through life on the path I had been traveling.

I turned out the lights in the main rooms of the pool house before I moved slowly to the bedroom. I flicked on the bedside lamp and flopped onto my bed on my stomach. I opened my journal and I began to write about my day. About Austin, the blue-eyed, tatted creature, who would devastate my heart in what was surely no time at all.

I could not stop thinking of Madison.

It was late. The clock above the pantry in the kitchen read 11:05 pm. That was three minutes faster than the cell phone towers and satellite dishes that dictated the glowing numbers on my phone. I had her phone number programmed into my phone now. It was taking everything inside of me not to act like a sixteen-year-old boy after a first date at the movies and text her.

After dropping her off outside the coffee shop where she’d left her car to ride with me, I went straight home. Kaiden was here now, and surprisingly, he was without company in the female form.

Honestly, tonight was the one night I would have welcomed the company he kept, because then he wouldn’t be staring at me as though I’d lost my mind. I had yet to admit to him that I’d seen the coffee shop girl again. Or even that I now knew her name.

Sliding my thumb over the numbers to unlock my phone, I immediately found her contact before typing out a text and pressing send.

Yeah, I’m weak as shit. Clearly.

Me:
You make it home all right?

A few minutes passed before my phone vibrated and the screen flashed with her name. My heart leaped as I opened the text.

Madison:
I made it. And then had another fight with my Mom.

Me:
You good? I can come steal you away. Just say the word, sweetheart.

Her text was almost instant.

Madison:
If my Dad saw me riding away on the back of your bike . . . he’d lose his mind. I think, for the sake of your continued breathing, that we should stick to staying where we are tonight.

My continued breathing. If only she knew.

Me:
Don’t worry about my breathing. Our every breath is measured, sweetheart. That’s what makes living life every day to the fullest so important.

Madison:
You’re so insightful . . .

Me:
Are you complaining?

Madison: Never.

I smiled, wishing for the billionth time tonight that she were here with me now. I should have tried harder to persuade her to stay the night. We wouldn’t have had to do anything—I just wanted to know her. I wanted to spend time with her, laugh with her and maybe even kiss her a few more times. Damn, she was a good kisser. She was definitely an innocent kisser, but still, that sweet innocence tasted amazing.

I texted her again because I just couldn’t seem to stop.

Me:
What are you doing now?

Madison:
Just getting into bed. You?

Thoughts of her getting into bed assaulted every crevice of my brain and I shifted on the couch, concentrating on answering her question.

Me:
Sitting on the couch with my brother. Being lazy.

Madison:
Sounds fun . . . am I seeing you tomorrow?

Me:
Did you want to see me tomorrow?

My heart raced in my chest so quickly it was nearing on painful. I hadn’t been this ridiculous over a girl since my very first serious girlfriend, Chloe. That had been years ago.

Madison:
I would like to see you.

Me:
Then you’ll see me.

Madison: When?

Me:
I can meet you at the coffee house first thing . . . or I can pick you up from home?

Madison:
We’ll stick to meeting at the coffee house for now. I still think the last thing my Dad needs to see, is me riding away on a bike with a boy . . .

Me:
Are you worried about your Dad seeing the bike . . . or the tattoos?

Madison:
Both . . .

I laughed. At least she was honest.

The sound of my brother’s voice tore my attention from my texts with Madison. “Dude, what’s going on with you tonight? You’ve been all weird.” He craned his neck, making an obvious move to catch a peek at my screen. “Who are you texting?”

“Madison.”

“Who?” His face scrunched, his eyes clouding as his mind traveled back in time as he tried to recall if I’d mentioned a Madison. When nothing flashed in his memory, he continued. “Who’s Madison?”

“Coffee shop girl,” his blue eyes widened. “She called me today.”

“Thank God!” He slammed his body dramatically into the couch. “I seriously thought I’d have to organize an intervention. You were fucking obsessed over that chick.”

“She’s pretty amazing,” I admitted. “She’s sad. And she’s got shit she needs to deal with, but don’t we all?”

“You really think someone with shit is what you need right now?” Kaiden’s question was soft, but it instantly pissed me off.

“Why wouldn’t it be something I need?” I could feel the tension climbing through my very veins. “I’m just as good for her as anyone else.” I knew it was a lie as I spoke, but I couldn’t take the words back no matter how untrue they were. “I’ve got shit to offer her, too.”

“I didn’t say you had nothing to offer the girl, Austin.” Kaiden rubbed his brow. “All I’m sayin’ is that our days matter. Don’t waste them on a chick who isn’t going to value them. And don’t get your hopes up.”

“Why shouldn’t I get my hopes up?” I demanded tensely. My voice was deep and low and filled to the brim with emotion. “Because of Chloe? Because she couldn’t handle it?”

“Fuck Chloe,” Kaiden snapped. “Chloe was a weak bitch, Austin.”

“I don’t blame her. You know that.”

“You might not blame her, but I sure as fuck do.” Kaiden stood, rubbing his fingers over his square jaw. “I’m going to bed. You want to continue whatever you’ve got going on with Madison or whatever the hell her name is, then go ahead. But make sure it’s worth it, Austin.” His eyes pinned onto mine. “Make sure she’s worth it to you. And that she can handle the pain you’re going to put her through.”

As I watched Kaiden walk to his end of the trailer, I couldn’t help but admit to myself that he was right. In my pursuit of Madison, I would inevitably hurt her. All I had to do was decide if her pain was worth it or not.

My phone chimed and I glanced down to see her name on the screen once again.

Madison:
I’m sorry if I offended you. Wasn’t my intention. I love your tattoos.

I felt my lips curl in an involuntary grin as I decided she was most definitely worth it all. Even the pain I knew she would experience at the expense of a relationship with me. I knew it was wrong and selfish, but I didn’t have it in me to do the right thing and walk away. I just wasn’t that strong.

Me:
Caught up with my brother, sweetheart. Glad you love my tats. I’ll see you tomorrow at 8 at the coffee house.

Madison:
8:00 am or 8:00 pm?