Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (8 page)

“I thought you were planning to feed me?” She kicked off her shoes to walk, without me, into my space. I watched, a little stunned, as she claimed a chair at the oversized kitchen table.

Damn, I liked seeing her make herself at home in my space. Without the ability to contain my grin, I followed her into the trailer, completely forgetting that she hadn’t bothered to answer my question. “I’m getting around to it.”

She grinned. “Good. I really am starving.”

“Want anything to drink?”

She thought for a moment before nodding. “What do you have?”

“Pop, beer, water, juice. You name it and I’ve probably got it.”

“I’ll have a water.”

“In the fridge, sweetheart.”

She stiffened, her eyes wide. “You want me to go into your fridge?”

I raised from where I was crouched down to grab a pot. “Why shouldn’t you go into my fridge?”

Her cheeks turned pink as I studied her. “Well, because it’s yours.”

Okay, she was a weird awesome chick. Placing the pot on the stove to boil the water, I planted my hands flat on the counter and spoke. “Look, when you’re here, I want you to feel at home. When you’re thirsty, drink. When you’re hungry, eat. Don’t wait for me to ask you if you need something, sweetheart. Just take it.”

She shifted, shaking her head. “I’m not comfortable with that.”

“Why not?”

“Because, Austin,” she made a moaning sound in the back of her throat that informed me she was stressed. “It’s just—that’s not how I was raised.”

“Well, it’s how I was raised. So, when you’re here, you’re going to relax and you’re just going to be who you are. When you’re here, with me, you’re going to stop with the bullshit façade you think is the right way to act, and you’re going to get comfortable in your own skin, got it?”

Her eyes were so wide as she stared at me, as though I were some alien from outer space. I couldn’t imagine how uptight her parents were to make her so unsure of opening someone’s fridge, even when she’d been given expressed permission to do so.

“Austin,”

“Come here,” I demanded, a little more forcefully than I’d intended. When she flinched, I wanted to apologize, but she’d already stood from the chair she’d claimed to walk into the kitchen.

When she was standing in the kitchen with me, I moved toward her. Placing my hands on her hips, I turned her front away from me until her back was facing me. Then, I covered her right hand with mine, and I walked her to the fridge.

Opening it with her hand, I lowered my head so my lips were only inches from her ear. “Was that so hard?”

She shook her head, but she didn’t speak.

“Take what you want out of the fridge now, sweetheart,” I watched as she moved her hand away from mine, to reach for a bottle of water. When she’d pulled the water from my fridge, she closed it fast, as though it had the potential to bite her.

When she didn’t turn to face me, I gripped her hips once more to turn her to face me. Looking down into her face, I saw just how uncomfortable I made her, and immediately, guilt surfaced.

“Why was that so hard for you, Madison?”

“It’s just so improper,” her voice was low and shaky. “It’s impolite to go into someone’s home and snoop through their belongings. I would never dream of doing that, Austin. I just think it’s rude.”

“You make no sense.”

Her eyes lifted to mine. “When you go into someone’s home as a guest, you wait to be served. You don’t complain about what you’ve been served, when you have been served, and you should always remain respectful of the space they’ve invited you into.” Her voice was snappish and I knew I’d pushed her. “How doesn’t that make sense to you?”

Catching her chin in my hand, still holding her hip in my other, I leaned down until my lips were a breath away from hers. I could almost taste her. I wanted to taste her so damn bad. “I don’t give two shits about what’s polite in someone else’s house, Madison. When you’re in mine, you will make yourself at home. I need for you to be comfortable with me, got it?”

“Why?”

“Because it’s the way I was raised. I’ve brought you into my house, and when you’re here, I want you to respect the man I am, and make an effort to do as I’ve asked. I want this to be the place where you can just be you.” I knew I was repeating her earlier words, but damn, I wanted so badly for her to have a place where she could just be herself. And I couldn’t help but want that place to be my place too. “Can you please at least try?”

Her deep brown eyes flickered over my face, and I watched as they fluttered closed in a slow blink. Then, she nodded. “I can try.”

“Thank you,” I was very aware of how close her lips were to mine, and the way her smooth skin felt beneath my calloused hand, and the warmth of her hip beneath my touch. Fuck me.

“The water’s boiling,” she whispered and I flinched back into reality.

Pulling away from her, I moved to the stove to add the macaroni to the pot of bubbling water. I didn’t know what it was about this girl that had me wanting to fight for every last breath I took to be with her, but I did want that. I loved life. I’d always been a lover of life, experience, and the rush of something new. But I knew, in the deepest confines of my heart, that there would never be a
new
that would be better than this girl.

I didn’t know what it was about her that had me assured I hadn’t been living until the moment I’d seen her in the coffee shop eight days ago. Hell, even then, I had known she possessed the capacity to be my undoing. I just hadn’t realized how quickly she could infect my resolute determination to never enter into a relationship with another girl. After Chloe, I’d decided to never allow myself to fall for another girl. I promised myself that I would never hurt them so much as to allow them to fall for me.

For almost three and a half years, I’ve remained true to that vow. But now that I’m standing here with Madison, I find myself wanting to kick that very vow to the curb.

I know without an ounce of a doubt, that I want her. And I know, with the same certainty that I am going to hurt her in a way she has never before been hurt. As selfish as it is, I can’t find it within myself to turn away from her. To push her away from me. To save her from all the pain that comes with loving me.

Because the truth of the matter is, I want her heart, and I will stop at nothing to get it.

Have you ever encountered someone whose entity calls to yours beyond any stretch of your imagination, beyond any explanation? Have you ever looked into someone’s eyes, and in them, saw a piece of yourself reflecting back? Have you ever touched another human being, and felt your soul stir from its hibernation? And you realize in that moment, that all the living you’ve been doing, was nothing more than walking the path you needed to take to cross paths with her? Have you ever met someone and known, that no matter what, you can’t fathom existing without her? Not even for her own wellbeing?

If there is one thing in this world I need before I take my final salutation, it’s her.

“You make a mean pot of KD,” I spoke between spoons of the macaroni and cheese and Austin grinned proudly.

“Glad you think so.” He pushed away his bowl, already finished. I swear, some men ate so fast there was no way they could possibly taste the food they ingested. “What do you want to do after this?”

I glanced out the window where the sun was beginning to dip behind the trees and I sighed. “You should probably take me home.”

From the corner of my eye, I saw his blue eyes darken with disappointment. “When will I see you again?”

I shrugged. “When do you want to see me again?”

He grinned. “Tomorrow.”

“When tomorrow?”

“First thing in the morning.”

“Don’t you work?” I asked as I stood with my bowl, walking it to the sink.

He slid from his stool. “I do. But I make my own hours and often work here.”

“Really?” I raised a brow. “What do you do?”

“I work for my Dad,” he explained. He moved to stand beside me, sliding me away from the sink with a firm hand on my hip before he began rinsing the dishes. “He owns a small mechanics shop in town and I help out. I’m good with, uh, bikes.” He shrugged. “So typically I fix the bikes that come in.”

“And you bring them here?”

He nodded. “I’ve got a trailer and a truck. I tend to bring them home, fix them here, and send them on their way.”

“That’s kind of awesome.”

His eyes met mine. “Yeah?”

“Yeah.” I confirmed. “I would love a job where I could make my own hours.”

“Do you work?”

I shook my head. “No.”

Leaning against the sink, he asked softly. “And what do you want to do with your life?”

“My Dad wants me to go to law school,” I explained before I’d even realized that I’d voiced the rehearsed reply.

He shook his head. “I didn’t ask about your Dad, Madison. I asked what
you
wanted to do with
your
life.”

“Oh,” I felt my cheeks pool with another pink blush and I looked down to my feet. “It’s embarrassing.”

“Try me.”

I shook my head. “Maybe one day.”

He cut me off, sliding his finger beneath my chin to tip my face up to meet his. “Today. I’m never going to judge you, sweetheart. Never.”

“I want to write,” I blurted the dream I had kept to myself for years, before slamming my eyes closed tightly against the laughter I feared I would see in his eyes.

“Do you write now?” It didn’t sound like he was laughing.

I nodded, but I didn’t open my eyes. “Yes.”

“I bet you write beautifully.” His voice sounded so much closer than it had at first. I felt my heart flutter as I opened my eyes to see his only a breath away.

“Austin,” I whispered his name, feeling my blood rush through my veins, as I looked into the deep blue of his eyes—losing myself.

“I want to kiss you, Madison,” he said. His voice was so deep, so raw, and gravelly. God, I wanted that too. I wanted him to kiss me like I wanted to see the sun rise tomorrow morning. I wanted to taste his lips like I wanted to taste water after a walk in the desert. I wanted him. “Tell me I can kiss you.”

My breath caught as I nodded.

“Tell me,” he whispered in a ragged plea. “Tell me you want me to kiss you.”

“Kiss me, Austin,” I whispered, feeling my eyelids flutter closed as he moved even closer to me. His body pressed mine against the edge of the counter, caging me in.

My breath hitched as I felt his lips close over mine. They were so warm, and so impossibly soft. I expected him to kiss me, press his lips against mine, and pull away, but he didn’t.

His lips moved against mine slowly at first, working me into a passionate rhythm that encouraged the coven of butterflies to flutter in my belly. My core clenched tightly with a new bloom of need. My heart was pounding in my chest, pumping blood faster, and drumming loudly against my eardrums.

His finger beneath my chin turned to his hand cupping my jaw, before sliding into my hair to grip the nape of my neck. His entire body dwarfed mine, encasing me in all that he was, against his counter. We were chest to chest, hip to hip, mouth to mouth when I felt him pull my bottom lip between his lips, sucking gently. I had never in my life experienced anything sweeter or more erotic than this moment. My entire entity felt alive—the blood in my veins turning to lava.

When he released my lip, I expected him to pull back, but still, he didn’t. His mouth covered mine once again, more urgent this time. I felt his tongue trace the line of my lips pleading for entrance I didn’t have the will to deny him. At the feel of his tongue slipping into my mouth, tasting my own, I moaned. The sound must have been the urging he needed to forget himself because he deepened the kiss even more. My lips felt bruised and I was breathless, but I didn’t care. I could die this very moment and feel content with the fact that I had lived.

Austin dropped his hand from my waist to my thigh, still kissing me. He gripped my thigh, pulling my knee upward before hiking me up onto the counter. I gasped against his mouth and he swallowed my sound, kissing me as though his very life depended on it. It didn’t take long for me to lose myself in his kiss once again, and before I knew it, my hands were in his long hair, my fingers knotting around his thick dark locks.