Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (11 page)

Me:
AM. I’m not waiting until pm to see you, sweetheart . . . Unless you make me.

Madison:
8:00 am it is. Sleep tight.

Me:
Sweet dreams, sweetheart.

We all have secrets. We all have demons. Like the beautifully faulted beings we are, we make choices based on the fluctuating highs and lows of our ever-influenced emotions, abandoning all that is the logistics of our mind.

Against all the internal warnings warring inside of my heart, I’ve spent every day of the last two weeks with Madison. She’s a purely beautiful girl, inside and out. I’d known from the very beginning that she was damaged to an extent. But so was I. I think it was the wounded crevices of our hearts that was the connection between us we couldn’t seem to fight.

Either way, I didn’t care about the threats of her father or the warnings of my brother. I wouldn’t walk away from her before my very last breath. To me, she tasted like life. And I’m not talking about the literal kind of taste, but the kind that infects your soul, urging you to take the steps toward living in a way you’ve never lived before, as though there’s a promise for tomorrow.

Because with Madison, I’m always promising myself just one more day.

“What are you thinking about, beautiful?” I asked from where I was bent over one of the bikes I’d brought home for fixing. I couldn’t stop stealing glances at Madison from where she was scribbling frantically in the faded green journal she always had with her.

I wanted so very fiercely to get my hands on that book. I wanted to know the words she wrote, the words of her heart. Fuck me; I just wanted to know it all. Every little thing about her, I wanted.

Glancing up at me, she smiled. “Nothing.”

“Liar,” I accused with a grin. “You know I can tickle it out of you.”

“Empty threats,” she huffed, stretching back in the lawn chair.

I watched as her toned legs stretched out over the length of the chair, golden from their time spent in the sun. She was beautiful. Hell, even Kaiden had admitted she was stunning and he rarely ever spoke words of kindness to women. As I said, Kaiden likes to play with women more than he likes to respect them.

I honestly don’t know what happened to my brother to make him the way that he is. He never chooses to spend his time with girls who respect themselves the way Madison does, but rather he chooses to surround himself with girls who leave little to the imagination and are easy to forget. But that’s Kaiden. He is who he is and I love him regardless.

Rising to my full height, I reached for the rag I’d tossed over the seat to wipe my hands of the black grease. “You think they’re empty?”

Her eyes flickered once again to mine, and in the light of the sun, they looked almost golden. “What are you doing?” Her voice was raising with the realization that she’d taunted me to the last straw. “Get back to work!”

“Oh no, sweetheart. You challenge the beast. You get the beast.” I took a step toward her, watching in fascination as she jolted up from the chair to bolt off the deck. Her bare feet pounded into the grass as she ran from me, still clutching her journal in her hands.

I didn’t think twice before chasing her, pushing myself to extremes just to catch her. My breaths were coming in roughly as I caught her around the small of her waist, lifting her from the ground into my arms. She wiggled against my chest where I held her captive, chuckling breathlessly as she giggled through high-pitched pleas for mercy.

“I take it back! I wasn’t challenging you! Austin, please don’t tickle me.” I moved my hand down to her ribcage, my fingers instantly tickling her. Fighting me, she wiggled loose to break out in another sprint. And again, I couldn’t seem to stop myself from chasing after her.

Tackling her to the soft grass beneath our feet, I hurried to pin her to the ground before she could make another break for freedom. I caught her wrists in my hand, pinning them high above her head as I lowered my body half over hers. My breaths were coming in short pants now, but I still didn’t care. All I could think about was making her laugh again. Of hearing her giggle and pleas spill into the warm air surrounding us.

Using my free hand, I moved to her ribs once again, tickling her. “Austin!” She screamed my name. “Oh God,” she gasped. “Please,” laughter. “Please stop!”

“Never,” I breathed heavily, grinning down at her.

Realizing I had no intention to release her any time soon, she twisted her body beneath mine. Her movement forced me to lower myself almost entirely on top of her. It was that or risk her escape, and I simply wasn’t willing to release my captive so soon.

She forced seriousness into her tone. “Stop tickling me right now, Austin Weir!”

I laughed at her attempt at control, tickling her with more determination as a wild screech pushed from between her lips. Laughter mingled with spent exhaustion as she pleaded once again. “Please! Please let me go,” she gasped for air, her breaths beginning to sound like mine. “Please, I’ll do anything.”

“I’m finding it fun to just tickle you,” I announced, entirely unprepared for her next move.

Before my mind realized what had happened, she lifted her head to press her lips to mine. Slowly, my fingers stopped their tickling assault against her ribs as my mouth moved against hers, following her down against the grass. Even though I’d stopped tickling her, she didn’t stop kissing me.

She was breathless from my tickling and I was breathless from chasing her. We were breathless from kissing.

But we didn’t stop.

I couldn’t stop.

Slipping my tongue between her lips, I tasted her, feeling my entire body react to hers. Warmth pulsed through my veins as my heart pounded in my chest and blood rushed through my body. Without thinking, I shifted my body over hers, lowering myself between her legs, and kissing her harder when she gasped into my mouth. My hand was still around her wrists, holding her arms above her head, but she hadn’t made a move to pull them down. Instead, she opened her legs, giving my body the invitation it needed to fit itself snug against hers.

My entire body jumped to life. Every inch of my flesh was aware of her beneath me, and I could feel my arousal growing in demand for all that she was. My hand moved to her hip where the loose material of her white strapless top was resting against the jean of her shorts. My fingers slipped beneath the fabric to touch the smooth skin of her hipbone, before traveling upward over the soft skin of her stomach.

Her lips were moving against mine still, our tongues twirling, and tasting, and exploring. With every stroke, every taste, my entire body grew hotter and hotter with want for her. I wasn’t thinking about the sunlight beaming down on us, or that someone, anyone, could come down the drive at any moment. All I was thinking about was Madison beneath me. Her curves fit so perfectly to my muscles, the way her warmth seeped into my own, and the sounds of her soft breaths mingling with mine. She didn’t stop me as my hand continued to move upward, pulling her shirt higher with every inch I claimed. When my thumb brushed against the underside of her breast, she moaned a small sound into my mouth.

“Austin,” her voice was thick with desire and indecision. “We can’t do this. I’m not,”

I moved my hand to the small of her waist, pressing my open hand against the warmth of her flesh as I dipped my head into the nook of her shoulder and neck, breathing her in. I was praying for help calming my body, and breaths, as she shifted beneath me.

“I’m sorry.”

I shook my head, kissing her throat. “Never be sorry.” I released her hands and she brought them down as I raised my head. She caught my face in her hands, pressing her lips to mine once again. I groaned deep in my throat. “If you keep kissing me, you’re only going to make it harder for me to walk away from you.”

I felt her lips curl against mine. “I like kissing you.”

“I like kissing you too, sweetheart.”

She giggled, the sound soft and innocent as I shifted above her. “What now?”

She was always so curious. Always wondering what now.

“Now, we take the rest of the day as it comes,” I grinned at her small pout before reaching for the journal that had fallen in our descent to the grass. “Now I find out what you’re always scribbling in here.”

Panic tainted the brown in her eyes as she reached for the journal. “No! Austin, it’s—it’s private.”

I frowned. “Is it like a diary?”

She nodded, blushing. “Sort of.”

“Will you tell me what’s inside?”

Her cheeks turned pink. “My feelings,” she stuttered and I knew this was hard for her. “My dreams and my fears. There’s a lot—about—you.”

“Me?” I don’t know why I liked that, but I did. I liked that she wrote about me. I liked that I made her feel enough to write about me where she wrote about her feelings and her dreams. “What about me?”

“It’s secret,” she whispered. Her eyes were pleading with me to understand and not to press. So, no matter how badly I wanted to know—and it was pretty bad, I nodded.

“One day, maybe.”

She nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of her pretty lips. “Maybe.”

Dear Diary,

I’ve never met a man, or any human being, with so much life inside of them. Austin has so much life inside of every breath he breathes. He’s a conundrum, really. His dark shell speaks of a danger inside, but in truth, he’s the safest place I have ever found within this world.

In Austin, I am learning each and every day what living means. Living is not about pleasing any other human beings, whether it be a parent, sibling or superior. No, in Austin, I have realized that living is about pleasing the life that is inside of your heart. Inside of your soul.