Teach Me To Live (Teach Me - Book One) (26 page)

The first meeting between Madison and Raina had been crucial and it went pretty damn good. Raina had been her usual bubbly self and Madison had responded well to that. I couldn’t say that I was in any way unhappy about their reactions to each other. Still, though, I’d had Kaiden prep Raina for her meeting with Madison. She knew that I had yet to tell her about the fact that I was—am—dying. Raina didn’t agree with my keeping this secret, but I also knew that she wasn’t going to be the one who popped the bubble of my happy, partially fictional, world. I knew this because Kaiden had told me.

Now, we were prepping dinner and Raina was talking Madison’s ear off, but Madison—or
Maddy
to Raina—didn’t seem to mind all that much. Actually, it was looking kind of like she enjoyed Raina’s signature gabbiness. Right now, Raina was yammering on and on about how she drives to Banff every second weekend just to drive through the mountains. Kaiden and I knew there was more to that story, but we held our tongues, not wanting to freak Madison out about Raina quite so soon. Madison wasn’t wrong when she said Raina was eccentric. What she drove to Banff every second weekend for was most definitely eccentric.

Madison stated on a sigh. “It’s been forever since I’ve been to Banff. I love those mountains.”

“Oh, I know,” Raina agreed heartily. “You really can lose yourself in them. I try to get out there as much as I can.”

Madison nodded. “I haven’t even been to Jasper this year. How sad is that?”

“At all?” Raina demanded, aghast.

Madison shook her head. “Nope. Not at all.”

Green eyes pinned to me. “You haven’t taken her camping?”

“No,” I shook my head at the glaring gaze Raina pinned on me. I’d be willing to bet money that this particular gaze would have most men quaking in their boots—but not me. I’d been raised with Raina as a constant shriek in the background of Kai’s and my days. Raina Andrews did not scare me at all.

“I know!” Raina shot up abruptly from her seat. Her eyes were filled with an excitement that matched the enthusiasm in her voice. “We’ll go camping now.”

“Um,” Madison shook her head, flabbergasted. “Like now, now?”

“Yeah,” Raina nodded. “Why not now?”

“It’s almost five,” Madison announced. “It’s a little late to just pack up and make the three and a half hour drive.”

Raina waved her off. “Not tonight, silly.”

“Oh,” Madison breathed out a relieved sound that I knew wouldn’t last long. I already sensed where Raina was going with this and I knew it was going to put strain on Madison’s carefully planned days.

“We’ll leave tomorrow.”

Madison blinked. Yep, this was definitely going to make my girl’s heart start racing and her mind start turning.

“You think you can manage that, sweetheart?” I cut in, eyeing her seriously.

Madison shrugged. “I-I’m not sure.”

“Oh, do you have a job?” Raina glanced back once again at Madison who shook her head, telling her a silent no. “Well, what’s the problem?”

“My parents,” Madison announced before grumbling. “Particularly my Dad.”

I’d met Madison’s Mom a few times over the last couple weeks. I even had a short lunch with Madison and Karen, while her father, David, had been at work. I liked her Mom and I was pretty sure that she liked me. Although, I didn’t know how long she’d like me for when she found out I pursued her daughter, all the while, being well aware that I was dying. I had a feeling this was something Moms would see as intentional hurt.

Still, though, I didn’t have it in myself to lose Madison before my time here was finished. I just didn’t. She was keeping my heart beating. She was the air in my lungs. I just wasn’t quite ready to say goodbye. Besides, I still had this month to teach her to live. She’d asked me for one thing, and one thing only—teach her to live. Before I was gone from this world, I would have completed this mission. It was my reason. She was my reason. I felt this in my bones.

Raina raised a brow. “How old are you?”

“Almost nineteen,” Madison replied hesitantly.

“And you have to ask permission before you go camping with your boyfriend and his brother?”

“Well . . .”

I stepped in. “Raina, wanna come get the salad ready?”

“Not really,” Raina shook her head. “You know I hate cooking.”

Yeah, the world knew Raina hated cooking. She was the queen of takeout and never failed to pout if, and when, she was forced to roll up her sleeves in the kitchen.

I sighed and looked at Madison. “How about you talk to them tonight? Don’t fight with them, sweetheart, just talk to them.” I proposed, adding. “Just see what they say. If they’re cool with it, we’ll head out tomorrow, if they’re not, then we won’t.”

Her lips parted and I knew she’d been about to agree before Kaiden interrupted. “You’ve been here almost every night for the last couple weeks, babe. What problem would they have with you going camping with us?”

“Well,” I watched the blood fill her cheeks, reddening them. “I’m pretty sure my Dad doesn’t actually know that I haven’t been home.”

Kaiden’s brows shot straight into his hairline. “I seriously doubt that Judge Avery is that oblivious.”

“Your Dad’s a Judge!” Raina screeched. “That is amazing! You must hear the coolest stories.”

Madison shrunk a little into herself and I knew this conversation was taking its toll. She’d come out of her shell a lot since I had known her, but she hadn’t ditched the protective layering and I knew that she still had a lot of work before she felt comfortable walking without her shell.

Shaking her head, she replied. “Not really. Dad doesn’t like to talk too much about work,” I knew this was true, she’d told me this on more than one account. “But I’ll ask him tonight about camping.” She stood from the stool she was sitting on. “I’m actually going to head out now.”

“Let us know, babe,” Kaiden called and Raina waved, smiling largely. Madison waved a small wave in reply before she was out the door.

She was already half way down the drive to her car by the time I stepped from the front door. “Madison,” I called but she didn’t stop walking. “Fuck, Madison, wait.”

She stopped with her hand on the door handle of her car. “I’ll let you know, Austin.”

“Hey,” I caught her hips in my hand. “I’m sorry about that. They double teamed you in there.”

“Yeah, a little,” she shrugged. “It’s no biggie.”

“They didn’t mean to do it. It wasn’t a conscious move they played, sweetheart.” I suspected her general distrust of people had a large part in awakening her flight response.

She sighed, as though just coming to this conclusion and then she said, “I know.”

“Do you?” I asked, looking deeply into her eyes. “Because I don’t want you driving away from me thinking you were attacked. I don’t want you to be uncomfortable with me. Remember, this is your safe place.”

“You, Austin, are my safe place.” She replied matter of fact and I felt my heart jolt. Damn, but this girl makes me feel alive. So alive.

“I really hope you’re able to come.” I said under my breath. Her eyes widened and her lips parted. I knew she would do all she could to ensure that for me, she came.

“Why?”

“Because we’ll experience something together that we will never have the chance to experience again.” She didn’t know how very true this statement was, and I wasn’t about to explain it to her either. But it was the truth. Madison and I would never have this chance again. This trip was an adventure we would never again have the opportunity to take. I wanted to live it so very desperately, with her.

“We will experience it.” She whispered, leaning in to rest her forehead on my chest. “Living, right?”

“What?” My breath caught and I tensed as I waited for her to reply.

“This is living. Going places, doing things, and experiencing, are all a part of living. I want to live with you.” She tipped her head back and smiled up at me. “So, I’ll find a way to come.” She rose onto her tiptoes and I lowered my head to meet her halfway, kissing her. “Count me in.”

Fuck me, I loved this girl.

Pulling back, I asked on a husky breath. “Will you be coming back tonight?”

She nodded. “Definitely.”

Something in my heart released and I knew it was the fear that she was running. She might be terrified, but she wasn’t running. That was all that mattered.

“Okay,” I touched my forehead to hers and breathed. “I’ll see you later.”

“It’s been a while since you’ve been home for dinner, Madison,” Dad’s voice was tense. Although he wasn’t yelling, but actually speaking quite low, it boomed.

I nodded, thinking it was best to agree. “It has.”

He frowned. “How is your boyfriend?”

“He’s good.”

“You still haven’t brought him by the house to meet me,” Mom coughed, warning him with no words to mind his words and tone. He glared at her, shifted, and continued. “I’d really like the opportunity to meet the people you choose to hold a place in your life, Madison.”

“I know, Dad.” I said softly. “I will bring him to dinner soon.”

“You’re my little girl,” his words cut off and I knew it was due to the emotion clogging his windpipe. He cleared his throat with a sip of red wine and continued. “I just want to know he’s good enough.”

Remembering what Mom told me, I replied. “Dad,” His eyes came to land on mine. “Austin is a good man. He makes me smile. He makes me laugh. He makes me want to live every day to the very fullest capacity I can. He makes me believe in fairytales even though I know it’s silly. He makes me believe in taking chances, and risks, and adventures.” His eyes were misting but I didn’t stop. He was my Dad, and he deserved my honesty. Once I gave it to him it was out of my hands. When I gave him my honesty, what he did with it was his choice. Until that moment, when he had it all, I was still responsible for the rift in our relationship. “I’m in love with him.” His eyes closed slowly before opening again. “But even still, he will never be good enough for me. Not in your eyes. And he shouldn’t be. You’re my Daddy and I am your little girl. No one should ever truly meet your expectations, but I hope that we will have your support regardless, because you’re my Dad and you know your little girl loves a boy.”

He drew in a shaking breath and it was at this sound, that I knew I’d cracked him. I heard Mom’s sharp intake of breath and I knew, that even though it hadn’t been my intention, I’d cracked her, too.

“You’re right, Madison,” he breathed. “You’re my little girl. You have no idea the lengths I would stretch to ensure your happiness or that you had everything you ever wanted. You’re my little girl. My world revolves around your smiles—and they have been so rare these past years. I thought it was just who you were as a person, until recently. Since him, all you do is smile. You fight for yourself and that is something that I have always wanted you to do. I simply never imagined I would someday be your opponent.” He bowed his head. “I never thought I’d be the man you fought against. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel this way. I’m sorry I’ve made you feel that you don’t have my support, but I just want what is best for you. I will always want what is best for you, kiddo.”

I was going to cry. “I know, Daddy.”

He nodded as though the words had the ability to absolve us of every ounce of tension we’d cultured these last weeks.

“If you love the boy, you have my support,” he sighed. “I still want to meet him, because you’re still my little girl, but I’ll support you no matter what.”

I looked down into my plate. “I’m planning on going camping with him, his brother, and his brother’s girlfriend.”

I knew Raina wasn’t exactly that, but I figured I had a better chance at success if I said she was.

“Camping,” I heard my mother’s voice chime and I knew she was again readying herself to play mediator. I decided to nip that in the bud before it sprouted into anything more. I was through allowing them to fight over me. They had an admirable relationship and I had no intention of coming between all that they had built.

“Mom, Dad, I’m almost nineteen. I’m not saying I know everything or that I won’t make mistakes, but I’m at a time in my life where my decisions are my own to make. I don’t know much, but I want so badly to learn. I know I will make mistakes, but I’m not afraid of them. I’m excited for them. I’m excited to feel and to experience and to learn from doing exactly that.”