The Ace (21 page)

Shannon walked over and put her arms around him. “I’m rooting for you, I really am.” She pulled back and smiled. “She really wants to do this, she does. She’s just too scared. She knows that those girls were nothing. It’s just an excuse for her to jump on, to keep herself walled off. You’re breaking through, I can tell. I know it’s a lot to ask given her behavior, but please don’t give up on her yet.”

Jerry shook his head as he looked around the stadium, not really seeing anything. She obviously hadn’t heard the last part of their conversation where he’d opened himself up completely and Karen had reacted in horror. “I don’t know, Shannon—”

“She’ll come around,” she interrupted. “I know she will. She can only stand herself for so long.”

He gave her a small smile. “You should get going before she comes back and starts yelling at you.”

“I can take her. She doesn’t scare me.”

“She scares me.”

Shannon gave his arm a squeeze. “Good luck, Jerry.”

“Thanks, Shannon. Hopefully I’ll see you around.”

She nodded as she turned and went up the stairs. He watched her before spotting Karen, standing at the top, watching them. His eyes caught hers and he could see the violent storm churning within her as a strong current flowed between them. He wanted her to put her arms around him and tell him that she loved him, wanted to be with him, but he knew that was too much to ask. She’d locked herself back up and he was going to have to wait until she cracked open the door again.

He lifted his hand, but stopped himself. They stood there, seeing only each other and then she turned, walking out of his life—again.

Chapter Twenty-One

Jerry parked his car in the players’ garage and slowly walked through the tunnel toward the locker room, trying to swallow back his nerves. He knew he had nothing to be nervous about, this was his home and his family, where he belonged, but that didn’t stop him from worrying about how his teammates would react to his return.

Would they be happy to see him or would they be concerned that he still hadn’t gotten his game back? Would they be leery to have him back on the mound, trying to hide their doubt that he could go the full distance and win them a game or would they be pleased that he was commanding the ship again?

It made him sick to think that anyone would doubt him, but Jerry understood if they did; he would prove to them, and everyone else, that he’d turned things around and was back to his old form. He was looking forward to his chance to do just that.

Approaching the locker room, his teammates’ voices and the hard rock blaring out of the speakers drifted into the hallway to meet him. He stopped outside the door and hesitated, feeling stupid that he was so worried. Determined to act as if nothing had changed, he set his shoulders, plastered a big grin on his face and walked in.

“Now, don’t everybody come rushing at once, even though I know you all missed the hell out of me,” Jerry announced as the door shut behind him.

His teammates stopped and gawked in disbelief, shocked by his sudden appearance, before whooping and laughing, coming over to pull him into one-armed hugs and slapping his back. He slowly made his way across the room, accepting the welcoming words and chastising himself for ever doubting his teammates. Through thick and thin, no matter what, they always had each other’s back and he was foolish to forget that or question it.

Chase was waiting for him at his locker. “Welcome back,” he said as he shook his hand and squeezed his shoulder.

“Thanks, man. It’s great to be home. I feel good.”

“We need you and your game.”

Jerry grinned as he placed his cap on the shelf. “Hell yeah, you need me.”

“Have you talked to the Skip yet?”

“No, just got here. I figured I’d change and then check in with them.”

“I’m sure they can’t wait to get you into the lineup,” Chase said as he grabbed his undershirt off the hanger. “Does Karen know you’re back?”

Jerry still wasn’t quite sure yet what to say to her or do about their situation. Even though he felt the ball was in her court, he had a feeling that she would need some prodding. Because of that, he needed more time to think about the plan for fixing the whole screwed-up state of affairs between them. In the meantime, he was going to continue to work to get his game back on track.

Jerry focused on unbuttoning his shirt. “Uh, no. I just got in town and came straight here.”

“Have you talked to her at all?”

“Not since she came down to Dayton, no.”

Chase turned toward him. “And how did that go?”

“Not good, man. Not good.” At Chase’s inquisitive look, he just shook his head and sighed, not wanting to rehash the brutal sequence of events. “It’s a long story.”

Chase nodded his understanding. “She was pretty torn up about you guys the last time I saw her.”

“Really?”

“Oh, yeah. I’ve never seen her like that before. She came over to cry on Maddie’s shoulder, basically.”

He tried to ignore the guilt that rippled through him at hearing Karen had been that upset. The couple of times she’d broken down in front of him had about killed him, her vulnerability and sincerity shredding him bare, leaving him desperate to do whatever he could to stop it. He turned back to his locker, feeling unsettled. “When she came down to Dayton she caught me talking to some girls, you know the type. The ones dressed in almost nothing and willing to offer anything.” At Chase’s nod, he continued. “She called them training bras and told them to get out of there.” He laughed with Chase. “It was pretty funny.”

“She does have some classic one-liners sometimes.” He grabbed his glove and slapped Jerry’s shoulder with it. “It’s good to have you back.”

“Thanks, man.”

As everyone slowly filed out of the room toward the field for practice, he took a moment and sat down in the black leather executive chair in front of his locker. His teammates had welcomed him back with open arms and that felt good, one less thing he needed to be concerned about. Next, he had to get out on the hill and prove to everyone that he was back and to do that, he had to go the distance and win some games. After that, then he could dwell on the situation with him and Karen.

He wasn’t giving up on her yet. He didn’t know why he was constantly signing up for her beatings but he just couldn’t get himself to walk away completely. Every time he talked to her, he could see that a door was creaking open, slowly and painfully, but he was starting to see the light. Panic had her slamming it shut, but he saw in her eyes that she wanted to try, she wanted to open her arms to him—to them—but it was old fear that made her clam back up.

In order to convince her that they were right for each other and she could keep that door open without any hesitation, he had to come up with a good game plan. Any sign of non-commitment or uncertainty from him and she would jump all over it or run in the opposite direction as fast as her legs would carry her. He had to come up with something Karen couldn’t find a way to back out of or use an excuse. Jerry had to show her he could give her the security she needed from him in order to trust him, to trust them. Now that he knew what he wanted, he wasn’t going to wait to get it.

He smiled as a plan slowly started to formulate in his head.

* * *

“And so I finally got him to at least put an offer down. I was
not
going to show it to him again.”

Karen stood in the kitchen as she watched Maddie cut up vegetables for a salad. She’d finally gotten Mr. Schnell to put an offer on the house he’d repeatedly wanted to see and she was ecstatic. She couldn’t wait to get him out of her hair and her hands on a check.

“That’s awesome. That guy was such a creep.”

“He was. Turns out he has major OCD issues or something, but still. His offer’s a little low, but I think we’ll be able to meet somewhere in the middle. I’ll make him if I have to,” she said with a smirk.

“I’m sure you will.” Maddie split up the salad between two bowls and handed one to Karen. “Put whatever dressing you want on it. I figured we’d eat in the living room with the game.”

“Okay.” She went to the fridge and looked at the selection. “Where’s Bree?”

“She’s spending the weekend with Chase’s parents,” Maddie answered as she walked to the couch and sat down. “She’ll be home Sunday night.”

“Oh, no kid for the weekend, huh?” Karen said as she sat next to her friend. “I like it when it is just us gals and we can eat and drink all we want on the couch instead of being stuck at the kitchen table with Bree.” She dug in with a fork and stopped mid-shovel, gaping at the TV in shock. “When did
he
get back?”

Maddie looked up and saw the camera focused on Jerry as he stood tall on the mound, throwing warm-up pitches before the game.

“Oh, I don’t know. The other day, I think,” Maddie said nonchalantly as she focused back on her salad.

“Bullshit, you don’t know. Why didn’t you tell me?”

“And why should I tell you? What does it matter? After everything that went down in Dayton, it shouldn’t matter anymore. You’ve already made up your mind with him and the situation.”

“Well...I...it wasn’t...” Karen stammered.

“It wasn’t what?” she asked innocently.

Karen glowered at her. “You know damn well what I’m saying.”

“That you overreacted and said things you shouldn’t have? That you really do care for him and want to be with him?”

“Seriously, why am I friends with you?” she asked with a huff and turned back toward the TV.

As Karen watched Jerry pitch, the pain she’d been carrying around with her seemed to expand in her chest, reminding her just how much she missed him. Seeing him brought all of the frustration and hurt back to the forefront, and with the frustration and hurt came the shame. Even over a week later, she was still so embarrassed about how she’d acted.

She knew those girls had meant nothing—were nothing—but seeing him smiling while the little slut had her hands on him had made her see red and she hadn’t been able to stop her mouth. It was the so-called evidence she’d needed to prove to herself that she’d been about to make a huge mistake, one that she needed to save herself from before he ripped her heart apart. In reality, what she really needed was someone to save her from herself.

She didn’t know what her issue was, but she just couldn’t seem to stop from spouting off without taking a second to really think things over and calm down. No, she had to assume the worst and use that to feed all her fears and doubts. She was constantly looking to prove Jerry was out to hurt and deceive her, when the truth of the matter was he hadn’t done any of that. At least, not intentionally.

Karen could still feel the panic that had washed through her as he again changed the game on her. She’d been prepared to tell him that she wanted to keep seeing him, that she hadn’t meant it when she’d said it was over between them, but he took the control right out of her hands again and upped it another level. Love. He’d come straight out and admitted his feelings to her, told her that he loved her, showed her that he needed her, and she’d been the ultimate wimpy bitch in return by just running away.

“What are you thinking?” Maddie asked quietly, breaking through her thoughts.

Karen sighed and put her salad bowl on the table, her appetite suddenly gone. She gave Maddie a sad smile. “I miss him.”

“See? I told you it wasn’t as cut-and-dry as you constantly try to make it.”

“You did this on purpose. Some stupid reverse psychology move or something.”

Maddie sat back on the couch and took a bite of lettuce, a smug look on her face as she chewed. “Of course, I did. I’ve got some moves of my own.”

She hesitated as she looked down at her hands. “I didn’t tell you this, but he told me that he loved me.”

Maddie choked as she quickly sat up and Karen leaned over to thump her on the back. When she finally recovered, she peered at Karen through watery eyes. “How could you have left that part out? What on earth did you say to that?”

“I told him that he couldn’t and ran away,” Karen said, having the decency to look ashamed.

“Karen!” she cried in disbelief. “How could you do that? The poor guy.”

“Because I’m a wuss and a bitch! We all know that!”

“But you’re not! I don’t get why you keep beating him up like this, or yourself, for that matter. It’s really getting ridiculous.”

Karen paused before getting up and walking over to the window. With her back to the room, she hugged herself, as if trying to ward off a chill, and looked out over the front yard, watching the cars that slowly passed by. It pained her to admit it, but she knew she had to if she was ever going to move past all of this.

“Because he could destroy me,” she said just barely above a whisper. “I thought Brian was bad, but he’s nothing compared to Jerry and I just freaked.”

“But don’t you see the whole picture here? You could destroy him too and you are! You’re destroying the both of you.” Maddie shook her head. “No wonder he was having trouble with his game if this is what he was dealing with behind the scenes.”

“I know,” Karen said as she looked down, her eyes filling with tears. “I’m not proud of myself. I don’t want to hurt him, but I don’t want to be hurt more. It’s like a vicious cycle that I can’t stop.”

“Karen, you can’t keep going on like this. You have to figure this out. Either you’re in or you’re not, but you can’t keep testing the temperature and then backing out when things start to boil and get heated. You have to figure out what you want and then you’ve got to talk to him and work this out once and for all.”

“I know. I know I need to make things right and I know I need to apologize for being such an idiot. I know all the things that I need to do but, for some reason, whenever I’m faced with him and that stupid grin of his, I realize how much I really like him and I revert back to my old self and I don’t know how to stop it.”

Karen walked back over to the couch and sat down. “But I’ve thought about it since coming back from Dayton and I know the ball is in my court. I’ve been trying to figure out what to say to him when I saw him again. But I’ve screwed things up so badly, and I didn’t realize it might be this soon. I thought I would have more time.” She gave a helpless shrug. “I’ve made such a mess of things that I just don’t know where to start...” She stopped to look at the TV and gasped.

The batter had hit a comebacker right at Jerry, catching him on the side of the head before he could get out of the way. He was down on the hill, not moving, and his teammates were starting to surround him as the team trainers raced out of the dugout to his side.

Karen ran over and sank to her knees in front of the TV. “Come on. Get up. Get up, dammit!”

Maddie knelt next to her with her arm around her as they watched the medical crew work on him. He hadn’t moved or opened his eyes, lying lifeless on the ground. Karen hitched in a breath when one of the trainers waved toward the outfield, the alarm apparent on this face, calling for the stretcher.

“Ohmigod...”

They remained frozen, their eyes glued to the TV, as Jerry’s head was secured and he was carefully loaded onto the gurney and carted off the field. They’d whisked him away so quickly, Karen couldn’t tell if he’d regained consciousness, moved his arms or legs or spoken to his trainers. His teammates and the opposing team slowly walked back to their positions on the field under a dark cloud of gloom. Everyone was worried about Jerry, the Ace and the heart of the Rockets’ team, and no one wanted to play, but the game had to go on.

A relief pitcher trotted out from the Rockets’ bullpen. He took Jerry’s place on the mound, warming up as quickly as he could, but his face still held a look of shock from the circumstances that called him into action.