The Blueprint (12 page)

Tammy’s smile drooped.  “Yes, miss.  Right away, miss.”  She took the menu and hurried off.

Lily avoided Jimmy’s suspicious looks by inspecting, arranging, and re-arranging the condiments on the table.  She detested herself and time's slow tick.  When their now anxious waitress delivered their drinks and swore that she'd washed and dried the water glass and menu herself, Lily all but choked on her mounting guilt.   

Jimmy had himself nearly convinced
while he stared past the menu that he’d misjudged Lily.  She no longer appeared to be the shy, beautiful woman that he’d imagined coaxing out of her shell and into his life with some good-natured teasing. What had started out as a sassy exchange back at the library parking lot now felt more like a viper attack.  This wasn’t fun anymore.  Not in the habit of giving up, he decided to give it another shot.

Jimmy asked, “How ‘bout we split a pizza?  They have great pizzas
, too.”

“I don’t eat pizza.”

He dropped his menu.  “We had pizza at your house a couple of weeks ago.  I’ve seen you eat it.  We could do a large pepperoni.  How does that sound?”

“No, thank you.  I don’t eat anything with a face.  It’s quite uncivilized.”

“Really?  Provincial and uncivilized?  That night we
ate
pepperoni pizza.”

“I picked them off.”

“No you didn’t.  I was sitting right there watching you.” Jimmy leaned toward her, daring her to keep going.

“Well then…”  Lily searched her mind for a good come back.  Tense and exhausted from this charade, she blurted, “I ate around it.”

Jimmy let out a deep laugh and relaxed back in his chair.  That proved it; he’d been a one man audience for Lily’s one woman show.  “Come on now, that’s a load of crap and you know it.  I’d like to see it though.  You’d probably make yourself one big mess and still be hungry to boot.  We’ll order a pizza.  I bet all this actin' has made you work up an appetite.  I have to admit I almost bought that nasty girl stuff.”

Defeated
and miserable, but glad the game was over; Lily slumped in her chair.  It was time for plan B, the truth, or some uncomplicated version of it.

Tammy returned to take their order and Jimmy asked for a half cheese and half pepperoni pizza with two side salads.  After she left, he reached for Lily’
s fidgeting hands and urged, “I’ll play nice if you’ll play nice.  I’d like very much to get to know you better.  Can we start over?”

His voice sounded warm and inviting
, his hands calloused and strong, and for a moment she imagined herself giving in completely.  She wondered what it would be like to let herself want something or someone,
to
start over
.  Since the day her father dropped her off at the children’s home, her faith in people, in love, in relationships had vanished.  She couldn’t trust her dad or her sister to return her love; she decided long ago no one else would get the chance.  She liked Jimmy, but there was no point in pretending she could be more than she was.

Lily slipped her hands away from his.
“Jimmy, this isn’t going to work.  I like you, but this would end badly.  It always does.  I don’t want to hurt you.  Friendship is all I can offer.”

“
Darlin’, I’m a big boy.  I’m guessing you can’t do any permanent damage.  Besides, I like a challenge."  He winked.  "After getting a little taste of what you feel like under those clothes, friendship ain’t enough.”

She ignored his last comment and willed the rising heat inside her to stay buried.  He'd changed tactics and was playing the part of seducer, but his nice guy grin exposed the truth.
“Jimmy, you’re not listening.  I can’t…”

“Now Lily, you’re over-
thinking this whole thing.  Let’s not get ahead of ourselves and stop things before they’ve had a chance to start.  I’m just asking to share a pizza with you tonight.”  A mischievous grin appeared.  “We'll talk about what else we're gonna share, later.”

Lily took
the bait and snapped, “Damn it!”

Arriving with salads in hand at that same mo
ment, Tammy assumed Lily’s anger was directed at her.  She dropped the food on the table and ran off crying.

Jimmy and Lily watched their distraught waitress disappear behind the kitchen doors.  He snickered, “Oh, you are in big trouble now.  Tulip gets mighty upset when her staff’s harassed.”

Lily didn’t even get a chance to defend herself before up to their table stormed a woman as big around as she was tall, wielding a wooden spoon and dressed in an apron smudged with sauce.  By the murderous look on the woman’s face, had this been a crime scene and not a restaurant, Lily could have easily believed that was blood on her clothes.

“Jimmy, what’s this all about?  I’ve got a crying little girl in that kitchen who says your lady friend here cussed at her.  You’ve always been a good customer.   I’d hate to throw you out on your
keister, but I will if you can’t keep her in line.”  She glared at Lily.

“Ah, Tulip, she was
cussin’ at me, not Tammy.  She misunderstood that’s all.  I told a joke but Lily here didn’t think it was too funny.  Send her back out here with that pizza.  I’ll make it right and give her a big tip, too.”

Satisfied, Tulip harrumphed and turned toward
the kitchen.  But before disappearing behind flapping doors, she called, “And make that lady friend of yours watch her mouth.”

Tammy reappeared with pizza in hand and puffy red eyes.  Jimmy helped her find a place for the food and apol
ogized for his friend’s rudeness, winking at Lily.  Soon, he had Tammy talking about her high school friends and teachers, many of whom he knew, like nothing had been amiss only minutes before.  Feelings mended, she bounced off to serve another table.

Jimmy reached for a slice.
“Now that our mess is cleaned up, let’s eat.  I’m so hungry I could eat the ass off a porcupine.”

“Watch your mouth,”
Lily parroted.   She was feeling better, like a release valve had been hit and the tension she'd been manufacturing evaporated.  She'd surrendered to Jimmy's charms for tonight, like Tulip, like Tammy.

Jimmy filled h
is plate with pepperoni pizza and grabbed for the jar of hot pepper flakes.  As he turned his wrist to sprinkle the flakes, the lid fell off and the half-full jar emptied itself.  He looked up to see Lily attempting to stifle a giggle.

He asked
with one brow raised, “You did this?”

She could only mouth the word,
"
No
," as she shook with laughter.

He’d ne
ver heard her laugh before, not a big, full laugh that started in her belly and warmed her emerald eyes.  He was mesmerized. With peace declared between them, he was determined more than ever to have her. 

He tapped
the hot flakes from a slice, but it was still heavily covered, sticking to the oil and cheese.  He exhaled and opened wide.

Lily gasped, “No. You can’t
!”

Stopping himself mid-bite
, he replied, “I have to.  Tulip will never let me eat here again if I waste her pizza.”  He took another deep breath. “Pray for me, Lily.  I’m going in.” 

“Maybe you could eat around it?
”

H
e winked at her again, and took half a slice in his mouth with one chomp.  Almost immediately, he flushed and began perspiring.  First guzzling his beer, he motioned for Lily to give up her water.  By his third bite, her glass was drained, too.

Tulip returned to check on them.
“How’s everything tastin’?” 

With his mouth full and his face damp, Jim
my gave a thumbs-up. 

Tulip grunted her approval and sent Tammy
over to fill their glasses.

Lily’s face
and stomach hurt from laughing. 

M
oaning and desperate for relief, Jimmy finished his half of the pizza along with three pitchers of water.  Rubbing his belly and wiping his face, he announced, “I need ice cream.”

After putting out the fire in his stomach with some soft serve, h
e drove them back to campus and this time parked legally. Lily realized during the ride back that she needed to make up her mind about how to execute the “good-bye” part of tonight.  She’d let him hold her hand as they walked down Main Street in search of an ice cream stand and she hadn’t objected when he rested his hand on her hip. When she stopped worrying, she found she was content with where he led.   She'd happily rode along on Jimmy's current and let him do all the work.  No matter how nicely the evening had evolved, her conscience nagged that she needed to end it.

As he opened her door and reached for her, the old fears returned.

She jumped from the truck and raced for the safety of the library, calling over her shoulder, “Thanks for dinner.  I forgot a book at my desk I have to go back for.  I’ll see you around.”

In a couple of long strides, he caught up
.  “Oh, no you don’t.  You aren’t getting away that easy.  I’ll go with you.”

“But Jimmy…,”

“My mother would be mighty disappointed in me, if I didn’t see you home, or at least to your car.  Let’s do this thing so I can get my kiss.” He grabbed her hand before she could get away again and walked with her to the entrance.

At least,
she’d bought herself a little more time to figure how to let him down easily.  Kissing would be a bad idea.  If she liked the way his hand felt in hers, she was certain his lips would feel even better.  It was best to never know how his kisses felt; then she wouldn’t miss them. 

The lights in the Government Documents section of the library were off.   Every
thing was in shadow and creepy.  It was Friday night and the building was virtually abandoned.  She was grateful for the moment of Jimmy’s company.  She hadn’t made up the book excuse.  She really had left a book in Simon’s office; however, she could have waited until Monday to get it. 

S
he used her key to unlock the office door and flipped on the lights.  Simon appeared out of the darkness with pants down around his ankles, and what she presumed was Judith Davenport sprawled naked across his desk.   Lily sucked in her breath, spun around, and bumped into Jimmy’s chest. 

He wrapped his arms around her
, letting her burrow deeper and called, “Sorry about that, folks.  Go ahead and finish up what you started.  Looks like fun.”  He turned off the lights and closed the door behind them.  Keeping a firm hold on the woman cowering against him, he walked back down the stairs and out the exit to the fountain. 

They sat toge
ther in silence at their usual lunch spot where soft lights leapt across the fountain's surface.  The spray unsuccessfully calming Lily's racing thoughts.  How would she face Simon on Monday after walking in on that?  And seeing…  She shuddered.   Jimmy's arms were clasped around her shoulders, her head resting on his chest.  She felt his body quake, once, twice, .... She looked up.  He was laughing.

Lily straightened.
“Do you have a knife?” 

“Why?”

“I’d like to poke my eyes out with it.”

He chuckled.  "Even without your eyes that
ain't a picture a person can just forget.  No, I fear I'm gonna have nightmares about what I just witnessed for a long time.  So I guess that was your boss’s ass I just got a good look at then.  He might want to see a barber or maybe a groomer.  That’s the hairiest backside I’ve ever seen.”

She couldn't remember ever laughing so hard, ever losing complete control, ever feeling so good.  Just when she thought she'd regained her composure, she’d meet Jimmy’s gaze;
he’d raise one eyebrow and it would start all over.  Once she recovered enough to walk back to the car, she didn’t notice their arms around each other.   She'd forgotten to plan her escape.

Jimmy
turned to her and cradled her face between his big hands. “That was the strangest date I’ve ever had.  But I learned one thing tonight; your smiles warm me like nothing else.  I can’t let you run from me like I know you want to.  What do you say to us just having some fun for a while?”

She couldn’t think with him
so close; his breath teasing her lips, his thumbs stroking her cheeks, his blue eyes soothing her fears. 
Do I push or pull?
  Lily’s mouth crossed the distance and gave him his answer as he deepened his request.  When the kiss finally ended, she felt the loss of his refuge from her burden and the old worries returned.

8

Kim spun around in Fido when she heard the familiar croak of her roommate's car. She’d rushed home from dinner with friends so she could get the play-by-play from Lily’s first date with Jimmy.  Helping plan her roommate's abduction earlier that day had been exciting.  Listening to Jimmy gush about Lily and then gush some more about what a good friend Kim was for helping was painful and nauseating.  But she’d seen this scenario coming and accepted her role with grace, as always.  Soon enough, she’d also know how much trouble she was in for being an accomplice.

The door finally opened and Kim called, “Tell me everything!”

Lily had anticipated this ambush.  “Hold your horses.  Let me go put some sweats on first.”

Good.  She’s not mad. 
“I’ll go with you.”  Kim vaulted from her chair.

“Nope.
  This is your punishment for being a co-conspirator. You’ll just have to wait.”

Flopping back into Fido, she moaned,
“This is torture.”

“That’s the whole idea
.”

Lily decided on the short drive home that
making her roommate wait for the details would be revenge enough for her part in tonight.  Kim had never interfered in her dating life before, but always relished the debriefing part.  Relationship fodder was her sustenance of choice.  After feeding Kim the dirt from a date, she’d chew on it for days ---speculating, examining, predicting.  Usually, Lily only politely acknowledged Kim’s analysis with a simple nod or a bland "You think so?"   But after the kiss she shared with Jimmy, she'd need to pay closer attention to her friend's audit.

Lily took her time changing clothes and when she returned
to the living room Kim looked frantic from the enforced delay. Satisfied that the sentence had been served in full, Lily gave her roommate the signal to commence the interrogation.

Kim blurted,
“Start at the beginning.  Don’t leave anything out.  Did you kiss him?”

Lily treated her roommate to
the long version, mostly because Kim would have accepted nothing less.  The retelling showcased just how ridiculous the whole date had been from start to finish.  When Lily got to the part about catching Simon and Judith in the act, Kim wanted more of a visual but Lily refused to comply.  She would have liked to end the story there.  No surprise, Kim wanted more.

“So did you kiss him?”

“Yes.”

“
And
?”

“It was nice.  And that’s all I’m saying.”

“Fine.  Be that way,” Kim whined.  “Just tell me, are you going to see him again?”

“I think he’ll be hard to ignore.” 

This was the sticking point for Lily and only her roommate understood her well enough to know the reasons why.  But Lily didn’t know if she needed help running him off or help convincing herself not to.  Lying back on the cowboy couch, she hid her face with the bend in her arm.  Thinking about how to handle Jimmy made her instantly tired and depressed.  She muttered, “I tried to tell him I wasn’t interested and that I could only be his friend, but he wouldn’t listen.  He’d change the subject or make me laugh and next thing I knew I’d forgotten I was trying to make a point.  I’m almost tempted to tell him everything about my past to keep from dragging the inevitable out.  If I can’t avoid him, maybe I can scare him off.”

Kim
hesitated and then confessed, “He already knows.”

“What do you mean?  What did you tell h
im?” Lily was up and alert.

“I didn’t mean to tell him anything.  It just happened.”  All week she’d felt guilty
, realizing what she’d done, but was glad it was finally out in the open.  She hated secrets.  Kim was out of her chair pacing and waving her arms as she explained, “You were hiding out in the library and we were talking over lunch.  He asked about me, my parents, and my childhood.  It was hard for me to talk about myself without giving up information about you.  Before I knew it, I’d said too much.  He’s got a way of getting a person talking.”  Slumping back into her chair miserable, she added,   “I’m really sorry, Lily.”

A thick silence settled between them. 
She'd shattered a cardinal rule of their friendship.  Lily’s past was hers to bury.  Even if Kim didn’t care who knew where she’d come from, her roommate did.  She didn’t know what to expect next.  Arguments between them were rare and never over something so personal or taboo.  Disagreeing over whose night it was to do dishes was usually as bad as it got.  She knew she couldn't explain away the confidence she'd broken.  And clearly, Lily wasn’t a big proponent for the forgive and forget notion. 
Shit.  I'm in big trouble.

Lily stood
and shrugged. “Maybe you did me a favor.”

“If
it helps,” Kim added cautiously not able to fully grasp the implications of her friend's unexpected response, “I don’t think it mattered to him.”

“Not yet, anyway,
” Lily called before shutting her bedroom door.

Although Lily swore again and again that she wasn’t angry with Kim, her roommate insisted on cooking all the meals that weekend and cleaning the whole house in retribution.   Lily meant it when she said that maybe Kim had done her a favor by telling Jimmy.  If his actions from the other night were any indication, he obviously wasn’t going to give up without a fight.  Maybe the more he knew about her, the shorter the duration of the match.  Or maybe he’d review the information he’d collected and throw in the towel himself.  She learned the hard way that Jimmy didn’t play fair, so she gave up trying to predict his next move.  Instead, she spent the remainder of the weekend dreading the embarrassment of seeing her boss again.

Monday morning arrived all too soon.  Lily wouldn’t have Kim around anymore to help her through the day.  The fall semester was beginning and Kim had accepted a graduate assistantship in the Social Work department.  Lily would face her boss alone
with the crystallized image of his bare backside burned in her memory.  Arriving an hour before Simon, she figured the best thing to do was to get herself so involved with work she’d forget to worry.  While busy decoding call numbers, the much anticipated moment of truth arrived as Simon perched himself on the corner of her desk.

“Did you see it?” he asked
, nearly bursting with excitement.

Lily shuddered and pushed herself away from the desk.   Shuffling about, grabbing items
that needed re-shelving, she mumbled, “What?” 

“Did you see what I gave Judith Friday night?”

Her arms were full and her escape was mapped.  “Uhhh… What?” 

“The ring.
  I asked Judith to marry me, but I didn’t know I was going to so I didn’t have a ring.  She said yes.  And we wrapped a straw from the restaurant around her finger.” 

Relieved, she aborted her plan and made eye contact with her boss, noting the
clown sized grin plastered across his face. 

“She said my proposal was the most romantic thing she’d ever heard.  I have to admit I don’t remember much of what I said.  Something about how I won’t get lost jogging as often if I’m running home to her and that I’ll be a great father to her bird.  Not bad, right?” 

He dismounted from the desk, fidgety and excited, shoving his fingers through his thinning hair. “I’m not sure what came over me.  We were just sitting at dinner, and she was talking about some dead thing she’d dug up in Peru.  I got distracted and started thinking about how happy she makes me and how much I love being around her.  And maybe, I don’t have to be alone anymore.  Maybe she’s the one!  I started feeling nervous that if I didn’t tell her quick, I’d lose my chance.  I’d lose her.  Next thing I knew, I was down on one knee.  Lily, I’ve never done a spontaneous thing in my life before that night.  But I guess she brings that out in me.”  He assumed a dreamy gaze, and Lily cringed to think they were remembering the same moment of spontaneity in his office.

With a mental shake, he continued, “I’m so happy I can hardly think straight.  We’re going out shopping tonight for a real ring.  Hold my calls for a while.  I’m going to phone some jewelers around town.”  Simon danced off to his office singing in his best falsetto, “Guess who’s getting married?”

Simon’s excitement was contagious, and they both drifted through the morning riding his personal high.  Lily was happy for him.  He’d been a bachelor a long time, and in her opinion, desperately needed someone to help take care of him---other than her.  Although she hadn’t officially met Judith, she decided that anyone who could see how special her boss was had to be pretty special herself.  Distracted with images of nuptial possibilities, Lily lost track of time and was startled when Jimmy appeared at her desk with his lunch cooler in hand.

Grinning, he
said, “Darlin’, it’s time for our lunch date.”

“I don’t remember us having a lunch date.”
  The steadiness of her voice did not reflect the chaos of her pulse.

“Well, that’s why I’m here, to remind you.  Grab your stuff.  Kim and Ed are waiting for us, and if we don’t get back fast she might beat that kid to a pulp for saying something stupid.
  When I left, he’d just made some comparison between her and his pet ferret.”

Thrilled at the invitation, Lily checked her enthusiasm before saying, “My lunch is in Simon’s office.  I’ll go grab it.”

“Is he around?  I’d like to see what he looks like with his pants on.”

“Shhh.”  Lily looked around to see who’d heard.  “He’s already left.  Now, be good until I get back.”

“Yes, ma’am.
  I’ll be good as long as you promise to come back.  Because, I will come get you if I have to,” Jimmy teased.

She ignored his threat.  She didn’t need reminding of his tenacity.

The funny feeling in her stomach was a small price to pay for getting her favorite time of day back.   Other than some lingering looks, Jimmy didn’t act any different with her at lunch.  And Kim was so busy keeping Ed in line that she didn’t seem any different, either.  Reassured that she wouldn’t have to deal with dating drama, Lily let herself relax and enjoy the entertainment. 

Jimmy waited until he retrieved her for lunch on Wednesday to ask for another date.   And this time Lily was prepared.

“Sure, Kim and I aren’t doing anything Saturday night.   A movie sounds good.”  She hadn’t cleared things with Kim, but her roommate owed her many times over and this was the payment.

Jimmy stammered,
“Uh...okay.   I’ll pick you
two
... up at eight.”

She
could hardly believe her counter-offensive worked.  Jimmy agreed to a group date. She would enjoy his company free from the pressures of a "real" date.  When they met up with the others, Lily announced their plans to Kim, who instantly looked suspicious, but wisely decided to discuss the matter later---in private.

Ed complained, “What about me?  I want to go too.  I’m not doing anything Saturday.”

Perfect.
  “Sure, Ed, you can go."  Lily asked, "What would you like to see?”

As Ed began a lengthy recitation on
the merit of Steven Spielberg movies, Lily did her best to ignore the ferocious glare Kim was shooting her way.  Jimmy, now recognizing the game, mouthed those familiar words,
it’s not gonna work,
over Ed’s monologue. 

Lily feigned
complete ignorance of Jimmy’s implication.  But her gut knew this was only a temporary victory.  She’d said yes to the date because she
did
want to spend more time with him, because if she wasn’t with him, then she was thinking about him. And when she thought about him her imagination traveled pleasant but inevitably complicated paths.  Her plan:  keep Kim close by and then she couldn’t turn her fantasies into reality.  Little brother’s company would just help assure that Jimmy behaved himself too. 

Jimmy thought he understood Lily’s reluctance to be alone with him.  Kim mentioned how they’d grown up in a children’s home together, and that Lily never got over not only her father leaving her, but also her older
sister.  Kim explained that she believed her roommate had a broken heart and that Lily had lost all hope of it ever being fixed.  And she warned that she wouldn't let anyone get close enough to find out.

Growing up, Jimmy’s parents had an open door policy.  Stray friends, relatives, and animals always found a safe, welcoming home with them as long as needed.  His parents believed that hard work and a little love could fix anyone or anything.  So they gave the beaten down souls that stumbled onto their property a home and put them to work in the family construction business.  In their house, mistakes were forgiven.  Everyone was encouraged to look ahead, to use what they learned from the past and forget the rest.  His parents preached that the past was just the basement, not the whole house.
Countless times he heard his mom advise people who were having difficulty getting over someone or something with one of her favorite sayings:  “Leave it in the basement and come upstairs.”