THE CRITIC (23 page)

    Toreas was aware that Liz was miffed but it couldn’t be helped.  She wasn’t being a party pooper. Her getting home was a necessity.

Her eyes searched the meeting room for Jared on her way out.  As if he had known she was looking for him, their eyes connected and he tapped his watch.

His chauvinistic attitude should have made her stop, not go to the room, stay exactly where she was, but he was smiling at her, his eyes filling with desire for her.

To heck with being a feminist. She could do that later.  After she’d had him, after he’d made her eyes roll back in her head.

Yeah, then she could be the independent woman.  Right now it had been much too long and her toys were failing to give her the release she sought.

She could swear she had her things shoved into her bag and was back downstairs in under five minutes.  She scanned the room for Jared. Not finding him, she rushed toward Liz to return the key.

The last thing she wanted was for him to get to her apartment before she did.  She ignored her friend’s strange looks.  She was bursting to tell Liz but decided against it. This was her business and Jared’s.  No sharing with her friends. She was finally going to get to see what made a woman’s eyes roll back in her head. Yahoo!!

Chapter Eighteen

Toreas barely had time to brush and gargle before Jared was knocking at her door.  She wondered briefly how it was he never had to be buzzed into the building.

“Hi.”

He had a bag in his hand.  Toreas looked first at him then at the bag.  He was moving much faster than she intended.  What she wanted didn’t require a bag.

“Jared…the bag…  Why?”  She was stuttering and feeling like an idiot because of it, but she had to clear that little issue up before they went any farther.

He closed the door, then came into the room, taking away most of the air she needed to breathe.  She wanted to take a step back from him but she needed to remain close.  In fact she wanted to be closer.

“I’ve got something for you.”

She watched as reached into the bag and pulled out a thick sheaf of papers and handed it to her.  Toreas’s eyes fell on the questionnaire she had given him.  She could feel her face start to burn.

She was too flustered to bring her eyes upwards to his.  “I had no idea that you kept this.”

“I had to.”

“Why?”

“I’ve never had an offer like this before.  The benefits are mind blowing.”

Toreas ignored his smile.  Here she was thinking he wanted to tell her that he wanted a relationship with her.  She was thinking maybe he’d fallen in love with her, as she had with him.

It seemed that wasn’t the case.  He was here only to sleep with her.  She began flipping through the pages not really reading his answers.  She had to give herself a moment to keep the tears that wanted to fall from doing so.

“There was something else you were supposed to have.”  She made her voice cold and hard, making the whole thing appear to be a business arrangement.  She noticed his smile slip a bit.  Good.  He was too darn sure of himself anyway.

His hand dipped back into the bag and he brought out another paper.  This one she did examine.  It was from a lab.  He’d been checked for every possible venereal disease and for AIDS.  He was clean.

“
Kick his butt out.
” She heard the clamor of voices.  “
He doesn’t care about you
.”  He reached his hand out toward her. She didn’t move as he lifted her chin so he could gaze into her eyes.

“Is something wrong?”

“No, there’s nothing wrong.”  She felt a burning in her chest and it wasn’t lust.  It was the lie she was doing her best to suppress.  There was indeed something wrong.

“
Kick him out
,” the voices chimed in again.

“
No
,” she answered them. “
I don’t want to.  Even if he doesn’t care, I care.”

“Toreas, why are you looking at me like that?”

“Like what?”

“Like you’re disappointed in me.”

She laughed then.  She had to or she would have cried.  “Why should I be disappointed?  I asked you to sleep with me, and it appears you’ve decided to take me up on my offer.”

She turned from him and began walking away.  “You might not want to after you hear I’ve changed my mind about coming on your show.  That was months ago, Jared. The deal is off.”

“Is that what you think this is, some sort of deal for you to come on my show?”

She turned toward him, surprised at the anger in his voice, and even more surprised at the disgust on his face.  “Then what is it?  Why did you fill out the questionnaire?  Why the doctor report if you didn’t come here to sleep with me?”

“First, let’s get something straight. I didn’t come here to sleep with you.”

Toreas felt her heart slip lower in her chest. Why did she keep setting herself up for him to hurt her?

“I came here to make love to you.”  He was getting angry. She was the most annoying woman he had ever loved.  Hell, she was the only woman he’d ever loved.  Didn’t she know that?

For a long moment neither of them spoke.  Then Toreas broke the awkward silence.  “What is it you want exactly, Jared?  A one night stand?”

She watched as his hand disappeared once again into the bag and a smile spread across his face.

“I was hoping for more.” He laughed, then dumped three boxes of condoms on her coffee table.  “Toreas, I filled out your questionnaire because I know you’re still afraid.  You were beginning to trust me. I like the feeling of your trusting me. I want you to trust me.  That’s why I jumped through all of those ridiculous hoops.”

Toreas’s eyes went first to the boxes, then to Jared.  The desire in his eyes turned her to mush.  She was doing her best to hang on to a little of her dignity.  She couldn’t give in too fast, but without a doubt she was giving in.  She just had to ask him one question first.

“Why did it bother you to see me with John?”

“Because I care about you.”

“You care about me,” she repeated, thinking people care about plants, their dogs and cats.

I love you
, she wanted to shout at him.  She leveled her gaze on him, enjoying the view. 
You big goon
, she thought.
If you’d perhaps read one of the romance novels you’re always making fun of you’d know what words win a woman’s heart.  Believe me it’s not, ‘I care about you.’

Of course she didn’t say any of that.  She just stared at him, wondering how such a gorgeous man could be so darn ignorant about how to talk to a woman.

She smiled at him then.  Men should never be allowed to talk.  They should just stand there and look pretty.

“What are you smiling about?  You’ve got an evil look on your face, and I’m wondering if I should duck.”

“No, Jared, you don’t have to worry, you’re a man.  Why should I expect more from you?”

“I think I’ll go out the door and we can start this conversation over again.”  This was definitely not what he had in mind.

“What’s the point?  You’ve already told me that you
care
about me.  I understand that.  And I
care
about you.”

He wanted to laugh. So that was the problem.  She was right. He was dense. He didn’t even know why he’d said that instead of just telling her he loved her, other than he’d never spoken those words to anyone. And the words just wouldn’t come out.

He swallowed, watching her, knowing she had to know he loved her.  There was a part of him that wanted to turn her over his knee and whale the daylights out of her for deliberately misconstruing his words.

A larger part of him wanted to cradle her in his arms and make passionate love to her over and over until he’d used up every foil-wrapped packet he’d brought with him.  Then he’d run out and buy more. Maybe he’d buy a few thousand shares in the company.

He gazed into her dark brown eyes knowing she wanted him as much as he wanted her but seeing a struggle going on behind her eyes.

He knew without a doubt she was trying to find a reason to back out of it, anything to send him packing, to blame him for her fears.

Think, Jared, think.  You’re not as inept at this as she thinks you are.  You always know how to charm women.  Now it’s for real.  Charm the woman you love
.

He could have just told her he loved her.  He wanted to.  The feeling was there, making a hard lump in his throat, but he couldn’t get the words out.

“Do you really want to know why I pulled you out of that duffus’s arms?”

“His name’s John,” Toreas attempted to interrupt but he ignored her.

“I was jealous.  I didn’t want him touching you.”  He walked closer to her, the heat from her breath warming his cheeks.

“I want you, and I don’t want anyone else to have you, to touch you.  I want to be the only man whose arms you’re in.  I want to love you completely, taste every inch of you, make you scream out my name and then start all over again.”

Toreas was unsure if he lifted her up or if she vaulted up into his arms.  All she knew was that she was in his arms and the smell of him was so darn intoxicating.

He hadn’t said he loved her, but what he had said was enough for now.  She wasn’t just a one night stand.  She glimpsed the clock over his shoulder.  It was still morning, so she wasn’t just a one morning stand.

He lowered his lips to kiss her and she closed her eyes, wanting to drown in the desire radiating from him.  She couldn’t talk.  She could barely breathe with him kissing her.  So she pointed one finger toward her bedroom door, forgetting he knew exactly where it was.

“Stop.” She pushed against his chest.

“What’s wrong?”

“We forgot something.”  She bent her body over his arm to reach for the largest box of condoms. She clutched it greedily to her chest and smiled at him.

His soft chuckle delighted her, especially when he followed it up with searing kisses.  She was being consumed with a fire she never knew existed.  Toreas had serious doubts if they would make it to the bed.

She closed her eyes, giving in to the sweet sensations coursing through her body.  She shivered slightly as she sensed her body being lowered to her bed.  When her head came in contact with the pillow, she opened her eyes and stared at him.  He was beautiful and she wanted him.  Now she would finally know how it felt to be with a man she loved.

“Let’s take off some of these clothes.”  Jared’s breathing was ragged as his hands went beneath Toreas’s sweater.  He stopped abruptly, looking at her.

“I knew these clothes were big but are you sure you’re in there?”  He lowered his head, pushing it under her sweater, marveling at how small her frame truly was.

He began kissing her, his head still under the sweater. There was something erotic about it.  He was tasting skin that he had yet to see and it was a delicious feeling.  He could imagine doing it for the rest of his life.

That thought almost made him stop.  Almost.  Now he was glad she’d covered her body with the hideous garment she wore.  He was the only one who knew what treasures lay beneath.

Well, that wasn’t quite true, he corrected himself.  She had admitted she wasn’t a virgin.  Still, that didn’t mean she’d ever truly been made love to. And that was exactly what he intended.

Jared’s head remained under her sweater. Toreas was getting a little anxious.  She longed for the taste of his lips.  He had said he was going to take the sweater off. If he didn’t hurry she’d rip the blasted thing off herself.

What should have been a two second procedure had turned into Jared’s own personal exploration of her body. He was buried under her heavy sweater licking her skin, nibbling at her flesh, biting her lightly through her bra. His hands.  Oh God, his hands were touching her, slowly, as though he knew he was driving her wild with desire.

The phone rang and for a moment Jared’s hand stilled. Then he resumed his pursuit.  She was surprised he wasn’t trying to undo her bra.  Everywhere the pads of his fingers touched she burned.  If only that annoying phone would stop ringing she could focus and enjoy it.

She knew she would have to tolerate the sound until the answering machine clicked on.  As soon as that was over she would take the thing off the hook.  Too bad she hadn’t thought to do that earlier.

“
Toreas, this is Mom
.”

Where had that come from?  Her mother was not one of her critics.  Now if it was her father’s voice, that she could understand, but her mother?  No, no way.

“Toreas Rose, I know you should be home.  This is Mom.  Pick up.”

She was one second from pulling Jared’s hand from beneath her sweater until she felt him tweaking her nipples.  She was praying her mother would soon tire of talking to dead air and hang up. Wrong.

“Tesa, Dad wants you to come home for Thanksgiving.  So if you’re ignoring me, let me tell you now that until the tape runs out, I’ll keep calling until I’m done.”

She heard Jared chuckle beneath her sweater and was grateful she wasn’t looking at his face right now.  She could only hope her mother would hurry with her message.

“You remember that nice Johnson boy from down the road a piece?  Well, he’s coming to visit his folks for the holidays so Dad made arrangements for you two to get together.  I mean, you don’t have anyone and neither does he, so we thought…”

“Hello Mom.  I’m sorry, I was in the bathroom.”  She’d never meant to answer the phone but her mother was blurting out things she’d rather Jared not hear. So she’d automatically hit the speaker phone button hoping to make her mom change the subject.

“Do you have company?”

“Why are you asking me that?”

“Because you took so long to answer.”

“I said I was in the bathroom.”  A long moment of silence followed when Toreas knew her mother was evaluating the sound of her voice to determine if she was lying.  She’d always been good at that.

“Are you sure you don’t have anyone there with you?”

God, Mom, can you talk any louder
?  “There is no one here, Mom. I’m alone.”

“Good then we can talk.”

Jared’s head came from beneath her sweater. He was looking at her with an amused but curious expression.  She wished he would stop looking at her like that.  She couldn’t talk to her mother and want him at the same time.  The whole thing seemed somehow sordid.