THE CRITIC (24 page)

He was tugging on her pants, pulling them down, his hand dipping into the waistband of her panties.  She shoved his hand away.

“Mom, I can’t talk now. I just got home from the conference. I need to put my things away. I’ll call you later.”

“If you don’t have company why can’t you put your things away while you’re talking to me?  Your phone’s cordless. Besides, you’ve got me on the speakerphone. I can tell,” her mother accused. “Tesa, are you lying to me?”

Okay, that’s it, make me feel like I’m ten again and spending your leftover change from my trip to the store. 
“Mom, I’m not lying.  I’m alone.”

Toreas hunched her shoulders toward Jared and held up one hand indicating it would only take five minutes.

“So what do you think of getting together with that Johnson boy?  His mother says he’s ready to settle down and make a commitment.”

“Brian?  Don’t invite him, Mom.  We never did get along even as kids.  He grossed me out.”

She was hoping this would stop her mother.  It sure had stopped Jared.  He was now just sitting on her bed able to hear both ends of the conversation.  She wished she’d never picked up.  But she knew her mother; she would have talked to the answering machine until she got tired.

“Give me one good reason why we shouldn’t.  Is there someone you’re committed to, Tesa? Is that it, you’ve found someone who’s special to you, someone you didn’t tell us about?  If you’re involved with someone, bring him with you.”

Toreas turned away from Jared.  “Mom, I’m not involved with anyone.”

“So you’ll come home.”

“Yes, Mom.”

“Good.  Your father has already deposited money in your account.  Make your plane reservation, then call and tell us what time to pick you up.”

“Mom, there won’t be time to get a seat.  I’ll drive.  I’ll leave around seven in the morning, next Tuesday.  That’ll give me plenty of time to get there before it gets late.”

“You’d better leave earlier than that or you’ll get caught up in traffic. But be careful. It will be dark and I don’t really like you driving alone.”

“I’ll be careful.”

“What time will you leave?”

“Very early, Mom, four A.M., no later than five.”

Her mother finally hung up after a bit of gossip about the town. 
Now when it was too late
, Toreas thought.  She’d heard the horrible squeak of the springs as Jared’s weight left her bed.  She turned back toward him and watched as he left her bedroom.  Thanks, Mom.

She walked back into the living room and sat with her legs tucked under her in the chair opposite Jared.  “I’m sorry that call took so long.”  She attempted a smile. “I’m sure you know how insistent mothers can be.”

He wasn’t answering her.  The look on his face strangely resembled hurt.  But she’d done nothing to hurt him. She didn’t understand.

“Jared, why are you looking at me like that?  I know I should have gotten her off the phone sooner but…”

“It’s not that,” he interrupted her.  “Your mother asked you if you had anyone special in your life.  You said no.”

“What was I supposed to say?”

“What about me?  What am I?”

“You’re a man who wants to sleep with me.  I’m attracted to you and you’re attracted to me.  It’s not as though you’re my boyfriend.”

She was trying not to become irritated but he was the one who’d defined their relationship as caring about her.

“Like I said, I came here to make love to you.  Sleep was the last thing I had on my mind.  Second, you’re right. I’m not your boyfriend.  I’m not a boy, I’m a man.”

“Excuse the hell out of me, Jared.  How could I possibly forget that the great Jared Stone is a man?”

He folded his hands across his torso and glared at her, the desire to strangle her pretty little neck battling his hurt feelings.

He pressed his fingers against his forehead and blew out a long exasperated sigh once, then again.  He needed to calm himself.  “Why am I here, Toreas?”

She returned his glare.  “To make love to me.  Isn’t that what you said?”

He walked closer to her, so close that he could taste each breath she took.  God, how he wanted her.  He wanted to tell her that he loved her, but the need to know she loved him also was keeping him from reaching out to her as he wanted to do.

“Toreas, why do you want me here?  Tell me.”  He almost whispered, praying for once she’d trust him enough to not hurt her.

“Jared, we’re not a couple.  You never made me any promises and I didn’t ask you for any.”

“Then maybe you should. Ask me for a promise, Toreas.” 

He watched as the flicker of doubt flashed crossed her face.  She was backing away from him.  He troubled his bottom lip with his teeth.  Maybe he was wrong.  She sure wasn’t behaving as if she was in love with him.

“Jared, I don’t understand why we’re having this conversation.  I’ll take the phone off the hook and we can just pick up where we left off.”

“Why don’t you want me to go home with you for Thanksgiving?”

“Why would you want to go to a two bit little
Podunk town in Georgia?  I don’t even want to go.”

“But you didn’t ask me.  You never even considered it.”

Toreas was becoming more confused.  All she wanted at the moment was to turn back the clock a half hour.  The phone would surely be off the hook and right about now she should be experiencing everything she’d read about.  Instead, here she was arguing about something as stupid as not inviting Jared home for a Thanksgiving dinner she didn’t even want to attend.

“Why are you doing this?”  She picked up a box of condoms from the coffee table and held them toward him.  “Can’t we forget about this?”

“Why don’t you want me to come?”

She’d done her best not to say it, but he asked for it.  What the heck?  The mood was ruined anyway.

“Jared, my parents can be a little difficult?”

“How?” he asked, not letting it go.

“They’re small minded and judgmental.”

“Much like you?”

“I’m not judgmental,” Toreas defended.

“Yeah, right.”

“Jared.”

“Your parents know nothing about me. But I heard your mother say that if you had someone special in your life you could bring them. I want to know the real reason you don’t want me to go, Toreas.”

“They wouldn’t understand you or know how to take you. And you wouldn’t know how to take them. I can promise you you wouldn’t have any fun. My God, Jared, going there is no big deal. It’s torture for me and it would be for you also. They make a big deal of my father being a deacon of Pilgrim Baptist Church and my mother being on the usher board and in the choir. Julie and William Rose are as uptight small town people as you’d ever want to meet. They belong in Georgia. It suits them.”

“Those sound like a bunch of excuses. I’ll say it again: Your mother said if you had someone special that you could bring them. Why aren’t you asking me to come with you?”

“You’re not exactly what my mother’s talking about when she asked if I was seeing anyone special.”  That did it.  She saw the smoky eyes shooting daggers at her.

“Are you saying I’m not good enough for your family?”

“I’m saying your values are different. You’re not what my mother means when she talks about commitment.”

“You really are a self righteous little hypocrite, aren’t you?  Look who’s holding the box of condoms.”

Toreas looked in her hand.  She’d forgotten she’d picked them up.

“You know something, I’m sick and tired of you pushing your supposed morality in my face.  Did you forget you’re the one who first propositioned me?”

He was walking toward her. “You’re right. We have different values.  I would never fall in love with a woman who prostitutes her body, even, as you say, for the sake of research.”

He knew he was hurting her.  He saw her blink her eyes and knew she was holding back tears.  He put his arm around her waist and roughly pulled her toward him.  He felt her tremble against his body.

“Look at you, even now you want me.  You pretend to be a prude.  I should have known it was all an act.  Only an expert would have asked the questions you had in that blasted survey of yours.”

He stood in front of her and took the expected slap, then laughed at her. “You want a commitment. Lady, you should be committed.”

With that he turned from her and walked to her bedroom. When he returned he was holding the unopened box of condoms. He glared at Toreas and bent slightly to pick up the two remaining boxes of condoms from the coffee table and toss them into the nearby wastebasket. He glared again at her before walking out the door.

Damn it to hell. If this was the way love was supposed to go then he was glad he’d never been in love before. Too much of this nonsense he’d either go insane or catch a case.

Chapter
Nineteen

“Thank you.
Whoever is in charge of writing my life story, thank you.” Toreas was still angry, with Jared, with her mother and with fate.

She stood in shock, turning from side to side, wondering how they’d gotten to where they were.

She knew she should be feeling relief at not having consummated the act with Jared, but she wasn’t. She was hurt and confused, just as…

Toreas stood still, staring after the door.  She thought of the look on Jared’s face that he’d tried to hide but couldn’t. At first she thought she’d only imagined it, but now she knew she hadn’t. Jared was hurt and confused by something she’d done and for the life of her she didn’t understand why.  She did know he was a jackass for calling her names.

He’d told her to ask him for promises.  He couldn’t possibly know that the only promise she wanted from him was that he would love her forever.  How could she tell him that after his half-hearted and asinine “I-care-about-you speech. That wasn’t what she wanted from him.  She wanted his love.

For the first time in her life since knowing Brian Johnson, she was looking forward to seeing him.  She’d never have to worry about that little twerp calling her a prostitute.  Her brothers would beat the crap out of him.

Maybe she should invite Jared to Georgia.  Then when they were all seated she’d announce all the things Jared had said to her.

She almost smiled at the thought.  Until she remembered that he said he’d never fall in love with someone like her.  Now how was she supposed to stop loving him?  She’d only recently admitted to herself that she did.  In spite of everything that had happened, she wasn’t ready to stop.

***

Jared walked away from Toreas’s apartment angrier than he’d ever been in his entire life.

Toreas was crazy.  He’d known it from the first day she’d punched him.  He wasn’t kidding when he said she should be committed, but so should he.  He would have to be given the padded cell right next to hers.

Damn her anyway. He thought they’d gotten past all of that. They hadn’t. She thought he was only good enough for her to sleep with.
Correction
, he thought,
good enough to have sex with, not good enough to take home to meet her folks.

He reached his car and threw the bag viciously in the rear seat, then slammed the door with such force he was surprised he didn’t shatter the window.

He noted the time on the dash.  He cringed, wondering how less than an hour ago he had been thinking of buying stock in a condom company.

What a joke.  He had yet to rip open the first packet and the way he was feeling at the moment he didn’t want to touch Toreas Rose.

He was glad he hadn’t told her he loved her.  It was obvious she wanted him for only one thing.  He was not into studding for hire.  She could just go to hell.

Jared gritted his teeth in anger.  He was as bad as Toreas.  Her eyes told him she loved him, her smile, her lips, her body.  Damn, he had to stop thinking like that.  He wanted to continue being angry with her for being such a coward.

She was feisty when it came to punching him on live television but when it came to admitting he was now a part of her life, she’d folded.  He wished she’d asked him for a promise.  He would have delivered.

He was driving much too fast, trying to calm down, to slow the beating of his heart.  He could feel the pounding in his chest making him want to pound something also.

He’d been right to resist getting involved with a romance writer.  They were nuts, all of them.

You’re one of them now, Jared
.  The thought came from out of nowhere.  Still, he refused to take back his words. 
I’m nuts to have hooked up with them.

Jared kept trying to make some sense out of what had happened. He had no desire to go with Toreas to
Georgia, to meet her parents, to play a part he was too old to play.

Alone in his car it was still hard to admit that he was hurting because she didn’t seem to need him, or want him.  He’d heard her mother clearly ask if there was anyone special in her life.  She had not even batted an eye when she answered no.

He’d never felt like this, ever.  He had thought at the time when Gina two-timed him that nothing would ever get to him again.  This was nothing like that.  This was ten thousand times worse.  He’d never truly loved Gina.

And I’ll get over loving that snobby little prude
.  He banged his hand on the dash. He knew just the remedy.  If one thing didn’t work, try another. That had always been his motto.  He’d momentarily forgotten. He wouldn’t make that mistake again.

Jared was barely in his home before he had his address book out and was dialing a number.  Laura answered on the second ring.  She was just what he needed to take his mind off a woman he despised.

He didn’t bother changing when she agreed to lunch.  He turned around and made his way back to his car, heading toward Laura’s home.

“You can have your Johnson boy, Little-Miss-Goody-Two- Shoes.  And you can both rot in
Georgia.”

Laura answered the door smiling a welcome, inviting Jared in with a toss of her long hair over her shoulder and a seductive sway of her hips.

Now this was more like it.  Laura was almost six feet tall with legs that went on forever.  He observed her clothes, Christian Dior, no doubt.  The outfit she had on easily cost eight hundred dollars.

He continued his appraisal of her as she went to the kitchen to get him a cola.  Her long raven hair was silky and professionally done, her nails long and painted a bright red to match her lips.  This was more like it, more how he liked his women.

Jared took the proffered drink and placed it on the edge of the coffee table.  Then he took Laura in his arms, the smell of Elizabeth Taylor’s Passion wafting into his nostrils.

It was nice but it wasn’t the smell he’d developed a yen for.  It wasn’t Toreas.  He stopped what he was doing for a moment and looked at Laura, scolding himself for thinking of Toreas when he was here to forget.

He brought his lips down to cover hers.  They didn’t taste like strawberries.  He closed his eyes tightly and plunged his tongue deep into Laura’s mouth.

Everything was all wrong.  Her mouth didn’t feel right.  She didn’t feel right in his arms and he sure as hell knew he wasn’t the only man who’d kissed her like that.  Her movements were practiced and guarded.  She wasn’t as giving.  Sure, she was squirming and moaning in his arms but it wasn’t what he wanted.

Damn that annoying woman,
he thought as Toreas’s face flashed into his mind.  He stopped kissing Laura, desperate to erase the craving for strawberry flavored lips. He plunged his hand under Laura’s expensive silk blouse to touch her skin.  There must be something wrong with him.  Her skin felt strange.

He rubbed the tips of his fingers together trying to adjust.  He pushed his head under her blouse, pushing it up higher and out of the way, ignoring her word of caution not to rip her blouse.  He had to taste her.  Maybe that would push Toreas out of his mind.

As his tongue licked her breast a spasm of awareness shook him.  Toreas had hexed him.  She’d done something to him so he’d never find pleasure in another woman’s body.

He drew back, shaking, ignoring Laura’s look of apprehension.  She was looking at him with something resembling fear. 

“I’m sorry,” he mumbled, “let’s just go to lunch.”  How could he tell her that he couldn’t complete what he’d started?  It sounded stupid even to him.  How could he tell Laura that she didn’t taste like strawberries, that he no longer liked the scent of perfume but only one woman’s natural aroma?

He trailed Laura out the door.  She was exactly the kind of woman he’d always been attracted to.  Jared watched her behind move up and down as she walked.  Nothing.

He knew she was probably wondering what had happened.  It was better if she never knew.  How could he tell her that his fingers didn’t like touching her skin, or that she was too tall?  How could he tell her that he was hopelessly in love with the most irritating woman on earth?

Despite Jared’s best intentions he’d not been able to shove Toreas from his mind. His lunch with Laura had proven that. He took Laura home knowing he’d never see her again. Even if he wanted to there was no way she would ever consent to it. He’d done nothing but talk about Toreas the entire time. Toward the end she was looking at him in amusement and he didn’t like it. Of course he knew the source of Laura’s amusement. Him. Every few minutes he was saying how he never wanted to see Toreas again, then he’d go into a rant that told otherwise.

Now he was glaring at nothing in particular, angry that he’d not just told Toreas he loved her, that she’d not told him she loved him. And hell, he was hurt that she’d not considered him special, that she didn’t want him to meet her parents. That was no way for them to start off a relationship.

Miss-Judgmental-Know-It-All-Prude had judged him one too many times and jumped to conclusions that were not true. Then it hit him. Toreas was so good at assuming and then finding the person guilty, he wondered if she’d judged her parents just as unfairly. Could it be possible she’d assumed how her parents felt? He smiled. Of course it could. Why would her parents subsidize her dream if they were so awful?

He thought of something else. She refused to accept his feelings for her and was forever throwing up roadblocks. Okay,  he had to be honest. He hadn’t helped matters with that ‘I care about you’ remark. But her parents were another thing. Maybe she’d gotten it in her pretty, stubborn head that they felt something that they didn’t.

Either way Jared had to know the truth. He reached for the phone. Since the romance writer in Toreas Rose could only believe the impossible and wanted things on the heroic scale he’d have to find a way to give it to her. He’d have to let her know that his ‘I care
about you’ meant he loved her.

“Hell no, Jared,” he admonished himself, “you’re damn well going to tell that woman that you love her.” When the operator came on the line Jared had his plan already laid out.

***

For the next few days Toreas did her best not to think of Jared.  She’d taken the three boxes of condoms and shoved them into the small garbage can under the sink, but she neglected to empty the can on trash day.

Jared was right, she was a hypocrite.  She was always judging people on the same things she did, the same things she thought. She hated that habit, had tried her best to get rid of it, but still it clung to her.

She wanted to tell him she was sorry for hurting his feelings, but was afraid he’d slam the phone down in her ear.  Besides that, his remarks to her still stung.  He’d been so angry when he left that he probably never wanted to see her again.

Maybe fate knew better than she.  After all, she was moving back to Georgia in a couple of months anyway.  It didn’t really make sense to begin anything with Jared.

Still, the thought of Thanksgiving dinner with her parents and Brian Johnson made her shiver with fright.  If she didn’t do something they would have her engaged and married in the blink of an eye.

She could think of nothing.  She’d given her word, two years to become a writer.  And her father had given his money.  He’d stuck to his end of the bargain.  Now it was time for her to live up to hers.  It was time for her to forget about romance and to forget about Jared Stone.

Toreas waited until Tuesday morning to pack her bags, dreading the long drive, dreading
Georgia.  Dreading Brian Johnson and her brothers’ kidding, but most of all dreading the thought that she would never see Jared again.

Just as she was ready to inspect her apartment to make sure no electrical appliances were left on and that the gas burners were off before taking down her bags, the phone rang.

She walked toward it, annoyed, knowing it would be her mother on the other end.  She’d already called twice, reminding her to get an early start. She’d asked both times if Toreas had changed her mind, if she wanted to bring anyone with her. Where in the heck did her mother think she was going to get this person? Have him materialize out of thin air? Toreas shook her head. Her mother’s question had made no sense. She reached for the phone without even bothering checking the caller ID. She was annoyed that her mother wouldn’t stop calling. She wanted to ask her how she was to accomplish leaving if she kept calling every hour.

“Ask me.”

Toreas gripped the phone in her hand and sank into a chair. 

“Ask me.”

There was no apology.  No hello.  Nothing.  Just the silence of an unasked question hanging between them. She could have pretended not to understand what he wanted her to ask, but they both knew it would be a lie.

Her voice was thick with tears.  She knew she was supposed to slam the phone down in his ear, tell him where to go, but she didn’t. “Jared, would you like to go to
Georgia with me for Thanksgiving?”

Her stomach was in knots and now the tears were falling.  This whole thing was not happening the way it was supposed to.  She was strong.  She didn’t need Jared, not with his cocksure attitude.  But she wanted him.