The Douchebag Bible (37 page)

thing means being a total bastard. Have no fear in the face of the

opposition—let the thought of the boy who might or might not

wind up a slave steel your convictions and straighten your middle

finger.

Fight for him. Fight for yourself. Fight for a better world.

Fight one person at a time.

Spread the word. Kick some ass.

The Mandatory Murder Machine

“It is sad to think that the first few people on earth needed no

books, movies, games or music to inspire cold-blooded murder.

The day that Cain bashed his brother Abel's brains in, the only

motivation he needed was his own human disposition to violence.

Whether you interpret the Bible as literature or as the final word

of whatever God may be, Christianity has given us an image of

death and sexuality that we have based our culture around.” –

Marilyn Manson, 1999

In 1607 the colony of Jamestown was founded by England. The

Algonquins, a Native American tribe rightly pissed at the white

man’s encroachment into their territory, tried to drive the settlers

away. The white men massacred most of them. So begins the

history of America.

The white man spread, like a plague, across the American

landscape. What he didn’t kill, he enslaved. What he didn’t

enslave, he bound in indentured servitude or wage labor. The

natives were systematically all but destroyed, as many as twenty-

million slaves were imported to America to work in conditions

beyond heinous, the poor Chinamen duped into leaving their

homeland to come to America found a society that treated them

like dogs on gunned them down the moment they misbehaved.

In 1861, the Civil War began and America was at war with

itself. The conflict cost over 600,000 lives—a number beyond our

comprehension in this era of modern warfare.

With the end of the Civil War came then end of slavery41.

Southerners, bitter at their defeat, passed segregation laws,

formed racist organizations like the Ku Klux Klan, lynched black

men, convicted them of crimes they had not committed and

wrought numerous other well-catalogued offenses against them.

I don’t have to give you a full history lesson. If you’re the

least bit attentive, you are well aware of most of our all-American

atrocities. Whether we’re gunning down out own soldiers like we

did in the Bonus March on Washington DC 42 or shooting

unarmed protestors as we did in the Kent State shootings43, we

are always working towards the furtherance of our mighty

military power-structure.

America is a mandatory murder machine, because it is a

machine that runs on blood, and by continuing to live our lives

here, we are complicit in every murder America commits to stay

afloat.

This is not a new thought by any stretch. You can hear this

sentiment from sea to shiny sea, from right- and left-wingers alike.

What may be a new thought, or at least not such an old and

over-explored thought, is the notion that it is our morality which

has brought about this bloodshed, and only that which we

conceive of as immorality can throw a monkey wrench into the

spokes of the mighty mandatory murder machine of America.

This is, in fact, the entire premise of the book that you hold in

41 Sorta.

42 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bonus_march

43 http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kent_State_shootings

your hands. Every chapter up until this point has been an attempt

to defeat true evil—the evil of a system that has subjugated you

and everyone you have ever met from the time they were born

until this very day.

This system does not function on a single level. It functions

on all levels—turning all of your wants and needs against you.

With the concept of honor, they 44 have found a means of

cementing your conformity to their standards. With their twin

prongs of sexual promiscuity and sexual repression, they have left

you a confused wreck of insecurity looking to fill the whole inside

yourself with any product that you can afford. And if you can’t

afford it, they’ll happily make you pay interest on it for the rest of

your life.

In
“Whence Cometh Evil?”
you learned that any

notions of moral superiority are rooted in delusion. None of us

want this to be the case and perhaps some new knowledge will

reveal itself in the future which will invalidate the content of the

previous sentence. For now, however, we must accept it as truth.

In “
Honor: Another String Tied To The Human

Marionette, Nothing More”
you learned that honor is

synonymous with obedience and little more than a means of

manipulating you with the currency of respect that human beings

naturally long for.

In
"Instant Gratification"
I expounded upon the ways

44 They being those on top—those at the top of the corporate and government

hierarchies.