The Fading Trilogy: Fading, Freeing, Falling: Includes 2 BONUS short stories: Hoping and Finding Forever (128 page)

It’s unfortunate when I think about it, but in a way, it’s Candace’s trauma that has bonded the four of us. I know we all love her in our own unique way, and at the root, there’s never been jealousy. Only three men that love this girl. And knowing that she has all of us gives me a level of security that I never expected to feel.

So we take this night, and like any family would, we laugh and eat cheap birthday cake straight from the box. Mom helps me clean up in the kitchen while Candace sits on the floor, cuddled into Jase, bantering back and forth with Mark, determined to get that plastic ring from him.

“I love her.”

I look at my mom when she says this to me as we load the dishwasher.

“She’s really something special,” she adds.

“Yeah, she is,” I agree as I watch her from across the room.

We finish up and wipe the counters down, and Candace asks as we walk back in, “Hey, you guys wanna watch a movie?”

“You all go ahead. I’m going to get some sleep so I’m rested for tomorrow,” my mom says.

Candace walks over and gives her a hug, saying, “Thanks again for coming, Donna.”

“How about we spend a little girl time tomorrow, just the two of us?”

“That sounds perfect.”

“I love being ditched by the women in my life,” I tease as I step behind Candace and wrap my arms around her shoulders.

“I’m sure you can find something to busy yourself with,” my mom shoots back at me. “Good night, you two.”

“Let me help you get settled in,” I offer when she starts to head back to the guest bedroom. I stand there for a moment with Candace in my arms and then turn her around to face me. Tilting her head back to look up at me, I kiss her before saying, “Give me a couple of minutes.”

When I return, the lights are off, and the three of them have made a pile of pillows and blankets in the middle of the living room with the fireplace going.

“You guys work fast,” I murmur as I lie down next to Candace and tuck her into me.

We watch ‘The Breakfast Club,’ and about halfway through, Jase and Mark call it a night and head out, leaving Candace and I alone for the first time tonight.

She rolls over in my arms and weaves her legs with mine.

“Thank you,” she says softly.

“For?”

“Your mom and the cake.”

I kiss her nose, and she smiles as I say, “Anytime.”

“I love you,” she says before she kisses me.

When our kisses turn into more, I stop and sit up. “Come on.” I grab her hand and tell her, “I want you in my bed, under my sheets,” before taking her upstairs.

As expected, the girls woke up this morning and went out for breakfast and shopping. I decided to take the time and work on the photos of Candace’s legs that I took the other day. I spent most of the morning in my office, working on the computer before going to the gym to grab a quick workout.

It’s a little after noon by the time they get back. When they walk through the door, their hands are full of shopping bags.

“Damn, that was a long breakfast,” I joke as I help them with their bags.

“Sorry, time got away from us. If I didn’t have to go home, I would have spent the whole day with her,” Mom says.

“Well, thanks for bringing her back. I’m sick of sharing her,” I tease as I wrap my arm around Candace.

Nudging me in the gut, she playfully scolds, “Ryan!”

“Sorry, babe, but it’s the truth,” I remark and then go in for a nibble on her neck.

“Okay, kids. I’ve seen enough. I’m going to go pack,” my mom says, heading down the hall.

“Ryan, that tickles,” she laughs, trying to squirm out of my arms. Picking her up, I haul her over to the couch where I lay her down and start planting soft kisses on her. “Did you have a good time this morning?” I ask between my nips and then lick the hollow of her neck.

“Uh huh.”

I continue to kiss her like this until she says, “Ryan, we should stop.”

“Why?”

“Because your mom is about to leave, and you should go spend a little time with her before she goes.”

Not wanting to stop, I let out a groan and tell her, “Okay, but I’m not done with you.”

Candace takes her shopping bags and goes upstairs while I check in with my mom.

“Did you two have fun?” I ask, sitting on the edge of the bed as she gets her things together to leave.

“We did. She took me over to the coffee shop where she works.”

“What did you guys talk about?”

“You’re nosey,” she quips, and I laugh at her, but she quickly straightens her face and comes to sit next to me on the bed. “She’s worried.”

“About what?” I ask.

“Have you given any thought to what’s going to happen after she graduates?”

“Yeah, Mom, I have. Is that what’s bothering her?”

“It would be odd if it weren’t. Isn’t it bothering you?” she questions.

“I try not to let it. But whatever happens, I’d never leave her.”

“Sometimes girls need a little extra reassurance,” she offers as she pats my knee and smiles.

I help my mom with her bag as I walk her out.

“Candace,” I call to her upstairs.

“Coming,” she responds, and as she’s walking down, I see the sadness creep across her face. She doesn’t say anything, going over to hug my mom. I feel bad as she starts to cry, knowing she wants to spend more time with her.

I reach out and place my hand on her back when she pulls away from the hug, and my mom says, “Come see me, okay?”

Candace nods her head, and I know that she hates the sound of her voice when she’s this upset, so she stays quiet as I wrap my arms around her from behind.

“When is your next break?”

“She has the last two weeks of this month off before her last quarter,” I answer for her so she doesn’t have to speak.

“You and Ryan come visit, okay?” she offers as she looks at her.

We say our goodbyes, and she leaves to drive back home. Turning Candace around, I hold her in my arms and give her a few minutes to just be sad. I’m grateful for the bond the two of them have forged, but I don’t like seeing my girl upset like this.

“You okay, babe?”

“I hate that she lives so far away,” she says as I wipe her face. “I really like having her around.”

“I know you do. We’ll go visit her when you’re on your break.”

She rests her head on my chest and sighs before saying, “My parents never even called me.” I grip the back of her head and hold her tight as she adds, “I mean . . . I knew they wouldn’t, but it still hurts.”

“I know it does.”

And this is the shit I hate. Thinking about her mom and dad, wondering how they could turn away from their daughter so easily. I know it’s possible because of my own dad, but thinking about everything Candace has gone through in the past several months cuts me deep, and all I want to do is protect her from anything that could hurt her.

“Come on, let’s go grab something to eat before we go to the campus,” I tell her and just hope to God that she got this solo because I don’t want to see how upset she’ll be if she didn’t.

Seeing the look on her face was priceless. She was shocked and giddy and couldn’t control her enthusiasm when she jumped into my arms, squealing. She got her solo, and I couldn’t have been more proud. This girl works her ass off, but it got me thinking more about what my mom said. I’m not ignorant of the fact that Candace will probably get a job that requires her to move. I’ve been taking a lot of time away from the bar these past few weeks, and I need to start considering what her moving means for me and my business.

When I walk into the bedroom, I notice that the door to the bathroom is cracked open. Slowly opening the door wider, I see her standing there in my boxers and a tank top, finishing up brushing her teeth. It’s been a long day, and she’s been through a string of emotions since this morning. I walk up from behind and slip my arms around her as I drop a few kisses along the curve of her bare shoulder. She holds on to my arms with her hands as we watch each other in the mirror.

She turns around, and I lift her up onto the edge of the sink and look down at her; she has a peaceful look about her tonight.

“You’re fuckin’ gorgeous,” I tell her, and my words make her laugh as I lower my mouth to hers.

Sliding my tongue past her lips, she hooks her ankles behind my waist, burying her hands in my hair. Her touch excites me but in a soothing way. I pick her up, walk her across the room, and fall into bed with her. I stare down, and I know, that no matter what happens, she has me. I don’t want to belong to anyone but her.

She runs her hands up my chest and around to the back of my neck, pulling me down, and we kiss. We kiss in a way that’s different than all the times before. I can’t explain it, but it takes over me, holding a new level of passion. I press her firmly to me, tasting the mint that still lingers in her mouth.

Lifting her back off the bed, I sit her up and watch her as she removes her top. I get caught up in her and press her back down onto the bed, situating my hips between her legs. She’s so warm against me, and my chest begins to tighten with the effect this girl has on me.

I never gave my heart to anyone before. I never wanted to. I was scared. But maybe I was just saving it for her. And now, I want to give this girl more than my heart. I want to give her everything.

Realizing that I’m getting too carried away with myself, I pull back, nearly panting, “We should stop,” as I rest my forehead on her sternum.

She runs her hands through my hair, whispering, “Don’t.”

Her words are unexpected, so I pull up to look over her face, to try and read what she’s thinking.

“Babe,” I breathe out, heavy.

She looks me straight in the eyes and tells me, “I don’t want you to stop.”

“I need you to talk to me,” I respond with nerves coursing through me, unsure of what to do here.

“I don’t want to stop tonight.”

Fear. That’s what comes over me when I hear her words. Closing my eyes, I drop my head to hers. My heart is racing when I urge, “Please tell me this is okay,” because the thought of this scares me.

She nods her head against mine, but it isn’t enough. “I need to hear you say it, babe.”

I finally open my eyes when she cups my face and assures me, “It’s okay. I want this, with you, I just . . . I don’t know if I can.”

But suddenly, I don’t know if
I
can. I want to. I’ve wanted to since I met her, but now . . . now I’m afraid, and I don’t know what to do with her. I’m not sure if she sees my panic when she takes my hand in hers and places it over her breast, urging quietly, “Just touch me.”

Her hand trembles against mine, and if this does happen, I can’t have her feeling like this. So I do everything I can to push my anxiety away to focus on making sure she’s relaxed. She’s been taken advantage of by the two people before me, and I want to make this perfect for her.

I lower myself and kiss her. I take my time and
really
kiss her. Pressing my lips slowly into hers, grazing my tongue along her lip, and sealing my mouth with hers. My hand slides up from her breast and underneath the strap on her shoulder. As I move my hand down her arm, I take the strap with it, slipping it off, feeling the tension in the elastic releasing.

She’s never let me see her naked. The closest, a bra and my boxers. So when I begin to reach around her, my anticipation is overwhelming. But then, in a moment, she nervously mutters, “I’m scared. I’ve never . . .”

“It’s just you and me,” I tell her. “You’re all I’ll ever want.”

She faintly nods, and when I unclasp the hooks behind her back, she crosses her arm over her chest. Laying my hand over hers, I lift it up and drop her bra to the floor. I look at her. I’ve always wanted to but she’s always been too shy. Then my eyes stop on a serrated, crescent scar on her left breast, and what I think it might be is confirmed when she shamefully bares, “He bit me.”

I won’t let that piece of shit filter into this moment. She’s embarrassed, and there’s no fuckin’ way I’m gonna let that bastard claim another piece of her. Even with this scar, he can’t take away from how gorgeous she is.

Leaning down, I kiss her scar and breathe into her skin, “God, you’re perfect.”