The Firefighter's Appeal (Harlequin Superromance) (24 page)

He couldn’t get her out. He couldn’t even get to her, and she was going to die—failed by a fireman. Again.

He was about to pull his hand back when fingers entwined with his and squeezed.

* * *

“L
ILY
...L
ILY
?” H
ER
name was coming from somewhere, getting clearer each time. She swore her head had become a fishbowl. Everything was swirling and unbalanced. The hand she was holding was firm and holding her up...a lifeline that she desperately needed.

Right, Garrett was here. Garrett, who’d been there the night Katja had died. Her link...the man she loved. Did he love her, too?

“You would love me if you could, right?” Lily leaned against the wall, moving her hand higher up his forearm to grip tighter. Something scratched on the other side of the wall, the sound of his body pressing against the debris with a thud. The hard material was cool against her cheek.

She knew he would have. Deep down, she knew. A few pieces fell around the hole right before Garrett’s arm came through just a bit more. She clung to his arm.

“With everything inside me, Lily.”

She put her cheek against his palm. She’d wasted a lot of time being angry with him when she could have allowed herself more time to love him. He was here now, risking it all for her...putting himself in danger though it would have been safer for him to stay outside. That was what they did. Every fireman on his squad had put himself on the line once or twice. Personal sacrifice was part of the job, and she’d admonished him because of it.

“I’m sorry, Garrett. You shouldn’t be down here with me. You should be...out...” The words used precious breath—breath she couldn’t seem to replace. Garrett’s fingers squeezed hers.

“Nobody would be able to keep me from being right here, right now. Understand? I’m exactly where I want to be.” He released his grip and his arm pulled back. Lily grabbed for him.

“It’s okay, Lil—let go. I have a job for you.” His words were heavy, and when he took a breath, she could hear it shake. “Take your flashlight and walk all the way to your left. I’ll meet you down there on the other side. Point the light in the corner where the wall meets the ceiling. Can you do that?”

His arm disappeared. Lily turned in the direction he’d asked her to go, waving the small beam of light over the floor. It was littered with rubble. Tucking the flashlight between her arm and body, she kept one hand on the wall and picked her way through. Fighting the dizziness, fighting nausea, she stopped once to dry heave. Something bitter and choking filtered into her mouth...ashy and burning. It tasted a lot like smoke.

At the end, the beam of Garrett’s light met her through cracks in the wall. “Lily? Shine your light up in the corner, but stand back from the wall.” His voice was muted, as if he’d put his face mask back on.

Just then, a sharp beeping cut through the air, making her jerk. Garrett swore, followed by some rustling and another string of curses.

“What was that?”

“Oxygen tank is almost empty. Stand back.”

There was a loud whacking sound as metal met concrete and chunks of the wall began flying out from the corner. A few pieces fell, taking more with it, until the corner of the wall began to crumble. A plume of smoke burst toward her, heavy and acrid. Garrett grunted as half his body wedged under a beam in the ceiling. When he began to wedge a pipe vertically under the beam, Lily realized if the beam collapsed, so would whatever was on top of it.

Her stomach flipped in relief at seeing him, but that feeling was quickly replaced by terror when he slumped under the weight of the beam while he tried to get the pole into position. The beam jerked, sending its weight down on his right shoulder. Garrett cried out, his body crumpling. The ceiling above shifted with a huge crack. Lily screamed, her body bracing for impact. Her chest heaved with short, tight breaths. Smoke filled the space, making it impossible to see, but the air was quiet. No crashing, no sound of the house coming in on itself.

“Garrett?”

Lily waved the beam through the smoke the best she could while covering her mouth with the crook of her elbow. A chopping sound, punctuated with pain-filled grunts.

“Garrett?”

Her airway filled with smoke. Gasping, Lily dropped the light and cupped her hand over her mouth. Her brain protested the lack of oxygen, bringing her to her knees. She was vaguely aware of the chopping sounds...things crumbling...a flash of daylight.

Lily struggled to keep her eyes open as daylight fought through the smoke. Up high, a silver beam was punctuated with rays of gold, like the flowers Garrett had first sent her. He’d found an opening when the beam shifted. Her eyelids fluttered. He’d found a way out....

“Lil? Dammit!” Her body lifted; Garrett cried out in agony. She was moving, sinking, floating. Garrett’s voice was raspy against her ear.

“Get her out! Get her out now!”

Pain seemed to be ripped out of him as he lifted her high...hands grabbing her...voices. A huge cracking rumble. The cool, wet ground. Fresh air seeped into her nose and mouth, tickling her sleepy brain. Lily managed to open her eyes, saw a fireman with the name patch Cain race by—Mikey—and disappear into the pile of wreckage she’d come out of. Someone leaned over her, waved a light in her eyes. Lily fought the light, turned her head to see...to wait...

She’d been saved by her fireman, but he hadn’t followed her out.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

S
OMEONE
WAS
GOING
to get punched repeatedly. Whoever the hell was holding him down was going to get it hard.

Garrett twisted to the right, his back arching against the restraints. His arms flailed out, meeting nothing. Not pleased that he hadn’t made contact with anyone, he tried to sit up, fists still clenched. He needed to get out of here. Lily was still down there...somewhere. He had to get her out, and then he was done. Never doing this again. Never letting himself get too close.... What if she was dead?

“Garrett. Settle down. Garrett...it’s okay.”

His eyes flew open, bright fluorescent lights glaring down at him. He froze. A cool stream of air tickled his nose, and behind it, the waft of antiseptic. Chief Grail was looking down at him, the whites of his eyes stark compared to his deep chocolate skin. “You need to settle down, son. You’re going to rip your IV out.”

IV?
Garrett looked down at his body, realized an oxygen mask was over his face and pulled it away. His right arm was in a cast. A hospital gown covered the rest of him.

His eyes flickered around the room, his brain searching and finding the last moments he remembered. He’d shoved Lily out of the hole he’d created between the exposed foundation and the dirt. Once he’d started hitting it, the hole had opened on its own. While he’d been pushing Lily out, the soil had been falling in, settling against the beam. The pole hadn’t been at a strong enough angle to support the beam and it had slid out, sending the beam down.

Mikey had come down after him. Wait...

Garrett grabbed Dabney’s arm. “Mikey! Lily...”

Dabney patted his hand and sat on a stool next to the bed. “I just spoke with Lily’s father. She has a concussion, some bruised ribs and lots of scrapes, but she’ll be fine. Her CAT scan was clear for a more serious brain injury. They didn’t have enough room here, so she was sent to Saint Mary’s in Picard.”

Tears filled Garrett’s eyes and he didn’t care. Relief was bittersweet because he wanted her safe and healthy, of course. But the absolute gratitude inside him spoke of so much more—of a love he’d never thought he’d feel, the fear that it was all going to disappear. And it almost had. He could have lost her.

The panic, the sheer terror, pulled him back to those moments his brother had taken the phone call about their father’s death. He just... He couldn’t do this.

He saw Brad, sickly and weak in a bed just like this one, the look of desperation on victims’ faces when they found out their loved ones were dead.

He couldn’t do this.

“Garrett, do you recall Mikey being inside the building with you?”

He nodded, wiping at his eyes. “Barely.”

Dabney cleared his throat and put his elbows on his knees. “He took a blow to the chest. Probably from the beam that fell. He has a cardiac contusion. Basically, it’s a huge bruise to his heart. He’s fifty-fifty at the moment.”

The tears rushed him now and Garrett didn’t even try to stop them. “What? Why the hell...why the hell did he go in?”

“He pulled you out. Managed to crawl out before he collapsed. His pulse was so low, they had to shock him right there on the grass, but he’s been holding his own ever since.”

Garrett ran a hand over his face as he struggled to sit up. His chest ached, but with Dabney’s help, he managed to get upright.

“Take me to him right now.” He couldn’t see Lily; she was too far away. But Mikey was right here.

“You just got out of surgery, Garrett.”

He turned, ignoring the pain, and grabbed Dabney’s shirt with his left hand.

“Right now, Chief. I need to see him.”

Full-fledged anxiety threatened to overwhelm him. His saving grace came from knowing that Lily was safe and well. He couldn’t imagine what he’d do if she were in danger, too.

Dabney pushed out of his chair, wagged a finger at Garrett, left and returned a minute later with a wheelchair.

He helped Garrett get into the chair, cracking a joke about not wanting to see his backside hanging out of the gown, and a few minutes later rolled him down the hall.

Garrett’s mind was strangely numb, not allowing any one thought to really develop. But when Dabney pushed him into Mikey’s dimly lit room, one thought became crystal clear: Mikey had better pull through.

“I’ll be back in ten because I’m pretty sure I’m going to get in trouble for bringing you in here.” Dabney parked Garrett near the bed and left. The room wore the scent of antiseptic like cologne—thick and equal parts comforting and stifling. Garrett leaned forward in his wheelchair, struggling a bit against the cast he wasn’t used to.

Wires and tubes ran from Mikey’s body to machines lined up next to the bed: intravenous lines, a chest tube, an oxygen mask and more that Garrett didn’t know the names of. The monitors by Mikey’s bed beeped and blipped, reminding him with every sound that he was in unfamiliar territory. He was helpless to do anything for his friend save for sit in this hard chair and be present.

And wait.

The pain of his own broken collarbone, dislocated shoulder and fractured arm were minimal in comparison to the ache in his heart. Mikey seemed peaceful, relaxed despite the fact he was teetering between life and death. Garrett pushed his bangs from his eyes as a burning sting prickled behind his lids.

What did a man think about when he lay there, just waiting to die? Regrets? Happy things...time lost and time well spent? Mikey was young, dedicated like the rest of them, but maybe more so. In the years Garrett had known him, Mikey had spent more time at the fire station and taking more extra shifts than anyone else. He somehow divided his time between that and taking care of his brother. He’d never married, didn’t date much. Hell, there probably hadn’t been time. He’d been too dedicated to his family and the job—the job that might end up killing him.

Garrett’s nostrils flared as he sucked back a thick wall of emotion. Mikey had come into the house for him. It could easily have been him on that hospital bed fighting for his life. Or Lily.

That last moment of lifting Lily out of the hole and wrenching himself out behind her could have been the end of him—if he’d been a second later. If he’d taken one more moment to consider what he was doing, he would have been crushed. All the things he was holding out for—the life he’d come to love so much—gone.

Just like that. All his fears had looked him in the face with blinding clarity. He was in love with Lily and he loved Mikey like a brother, and he’d been a hair away from losing them both. Garrett put his good hand on Mikey’s arm and gave it a squeeze. God, how did people go through this emotion every day? How was this fair to Lily? There was no way to build a life with this kind of uncertainty.

Some men could do it. Some men could send their families out into the world and be satisfied with 99 percent confidence that they’d make it home safe and sound. But Garrett knew better. He knew what was out there—what was waiting to take it all away. The job was a part of him, one he couldn’t give up without losing a big chunk of himself. But it came with knowing too much, fearing too much. He wasn’t man enough to get over that fear.

It would consume him, every moment of every day.

He couldn’t ask Lily to be part of his crazy world. Garrett reached out and stroked the back of Mikey’s hand. Mikey’s eyelids fluttered but didn’t open as he rolled his head toward Garrett and moaned softly.

“Hey, Mikey, we’ve got darts on Friday. Can’t play without you.” It was a silly thing to say, but Garrett couldn’t think of anything else that wouldn’t make him start bawling like a baby.

Mikey gave a weak laugh. Even that small effort made his pallor increase. Garrett jerked as a cool, shaky hand slid into his own. He squeezed gently, lovingly, recognizing that the once-strong fingers felt fragile to his touch.

“Gonna...have to sit...this one out, buddy.”

Mikey’s eyes opened; their gazes caught, held. Wordlessly, Garrett nodded. He didn’t stop the tear that spilled over his lower lashes and burned his cheek. When a second tear followed, and then a third, Garrett let the moisture pool beside his lip. Mikey worked in a small, shuddering inhale, the blue tinge around his mouth shocking against the gray pale of his face.

“You...you look after Bodie for me...” The urgency in Mikey’s voice matched the sudden panic in his eyes. Ignoring the pain in his shoulder and neck, Garrett grasped Mikey’s other hand and clung tight.

Garrett’s voice shook. “Like a brother, man. Like a brother. I promise, Mikey.”

“K...okay.” Mikey’s chest rose and fell hard as he struggled to take a breath. “Thanks.”

Thanks? No way should Mikey be thanking him for anything. It was the other way around. He wanted to say something deep and meaningful, but doing so would be like admitting defeat, and he wasn’t ready to give up on Mikey yet. There would never be a time he was ready for that.

“At least they didn’t shave your pretty hair.”

That drew a wan smile. How Mikey’s face had grown so gaunt in just a few hours, Garrett had no idea. It was a sign, he supposed, that his friend’s heart hadn’t quite decided whether or not it was ready to admit defeat. Desperate now, Garrett squeezed Mikey’s hand as hard as he dared. “Michael Cain, thank you for coming after me.”

Mikey gave a tiny nod. “Lily?”

“At the hospital in Picard. She’ll be just fine.” He hoped. He wouldn’t believe it until he saw her for himself. Seeing her... What would that do to him? To her? The memory of her prone, motionless body on the rubble sent dread over his spine.

“When’s...the wedding?” Mikey’s mouth moved up in a smile.

It was a joke, but it hit home. Especially coming from Mikey, who knew how Garrett felt about marriage. Everything that had just happened only reinforced why he couldn’t have a family. One big sob lodged in his chest. It took him a moment to compose himself enough to speak.

“Ah, come on, man. You know I can’t.”

Mikey grunted. Soft footsteps sounded behind Garrett as a nurse walked in. She gave him a suspicious glance but didn’t shoo him out. She quietly checked the monitors, her presence comforting in that if something went wrong, she’d know what to do.

Mikey curled a finger, indicating that Garrett come closer. He did the best he could between the wheelchair, the cast and the pain. Mikey’s voice was so soft, Garrett had to listen closely.

“Bodie left a big...piece of himself on Iraqi soil. Even...if he’d left it
all
there...he’d’ve left the biggest piece...right here.” Mikey patted his chest over his heart with a slow hand. “Can’t stop bad things, Garrett, but if you leave enough good stuff behind...it evens out. You love Lily. That’s damn good, brother. Damn good.”

Mikey’s voice trailed away, his chest rising and falling softly. The beeps of the machines became steady music.

Garrett bowed his head and let his mind go numb again. He held Mikey’s hand, saying a prayer for his friend’s damn fine heart and sat awhile.

* * *

L
ILY
NEEDED
TO
see Garrett the way she needed to breathe. Being trapped in that hospital bed, wanting to see Garrett—needing to go to him and not being able to—was nearly as bad as being in the basement as debris rained down.

She’d tried calling his cell phone with no luck, and the hospital wouldn’t put her through to his room when she’d called there. It was only because Doug had gotten through to the Danbury fire chief that Lily knew that Garrett had had surgery to repair his shoulder and collarbone. Her father had kept reassuring her that Garrett was doing well. It was the only thing that calmed her enough not to bolt out of the hospital against medical advice.

She’d almost lost him. That thought played in her mind on constant repeat. Just knowing how close Garrett had come to being seriously injured—or worse—stripped down the last of Lily’s hang-ups. Whatever bad memories he might bring up could and
would
be replaced. Because she loved him, and she wasn’t fool enough to keep it to herself anymore. Not after this. She’d been released this morning with steroids and an inhaler for her smoke-inflamed lungs, and was more than ready to make sure Garrett was okay. And to tell him what was in her heart.

Once again, Garrett had been by her side during a life-changing event. Only this time, he’d held her hand. And saved her life.

Hero. She’d scoffed at that term once, at the Throwing Aces when the firemen had paraded around in their department T-shirts. How her perspective had changed, and rightly so. How could she ever thank him for what he’d done?

Between Macy, Doug and her brother’s constant fussing, it was hard to plan what she was going to say to Garrett. Right now, the culprit was Lincoln. She didn’t want him hovering over her, but he refused to back off. He’d arrived in Picard yesterday, and while it was nice to have her twin brother around to pamper her, Lily wanted to do this alone.

The Danbury hospital was a bustle of activity even now, two days after the tornado. Lily stopped at the nurses’ station on level three and inquired for Garrett’s room.

“Room 302, down the hall, first on your left.”

Lincoln put a hand on her back to usher her that way, but Lily stalled.

“Linc, I’d like to go alone.”

Seeing Garrett for the first time since he’d rescued her seemed too personal to experience with her family around. Maybe it was silly, but she’d never been one to show much emotion in front of other people, and she had no idea how she’d react right now.

“I’ll walk you to the door, and then I’ll go get some coffee. You’re still a bit unsteady, sis. Don’t buck me on this.”

He’d tried to get her into a wheelchair four times since they walked into the hospital, but she’d refused. Besides a lingering mild headache and a lot of aches and pains, she felt fine. Lily forced herself to take normal steps down the hall, even though her body was telling her to run. Each step took an eternity, but then she was there, outside the door.

Her pulse thrummed harder as she reached the handle.

“Thanks, Linc.”