The Girl You Lost: A gripping psychological thriller (24 page)

I stand up, shoving my chair aside and leaving my water on the table. I ignore the stares as I leave the café, and the woman I thought I had bonded with.

M
y anger hasn’t diminished
by the time I get home. I open the front door, ready to tell Matt what happened with Tamsin, desperate for some comforting words, but the second I step in the hallway I hear voices. One is Matt’s and the other a female voice I don’t recognise. The sounds are too muffled for me to make out any words, but perhaps it is a colleague of Matt’s, stopping by to run something past him.

This is what I am prepared for. What I’m not expecting is to find Sienna Gibbs sitting at my kitchen table.

I
stare at Sienna
. Her puffy eyes and red blotchy cheeks tell me she is not here to cause trouble. There is no hint of make-up on her face this time and her hair is pulled back in a messy ponytail, as if she left her house in a hurry.

Matt rushes over to me. ‘Simone,’ he says, his voice a whisper. ‘She turned up a few minutes ago looking for you. I wasn’t going to let her in but she didn’t look in a good way. Are you okay to talk to her?’

‘It’s fine,’ I say. Not knowing whether to sit or stand, I stay by the door, keeping my distance from her. After my earlier encounter with Tamsin I am ready for another attack.

Matt heads back to the table and sits down, turning to Sienna. ‘Sorry, what did you say your name was?’

‘Sienna.’ She doesn’t look at him while she answers, but keeps her eyes fixed on me. ‘Simone, I’m so sorry.’ She bursts into tears then, loud retching sobs, and buries her head in her hands, so I give up my position by the door and sit next to her.

‘How did you find me?’

‘I’m so sorry,’ she says, trying to control her tears. ‘I checked Nick’s computer and he had all your details on there. I know it was wrong, but I needed to see you.’

It doesn’t surprise me that Nick found out my address. He would have suspected me from the minute Abbot and I showed up at his door.

Sienna explains she had no idea what her husband was like. At first I want to shake her and demand to know how she could have been so oblivious, but then I picture her kids, and what a good father Nick Gibbs appeared to be, and I decide to go easy on her.

‘Do the police know you’re here?’ I ask.

She wipes her eyes with her coat sleeve, but the sobbing continues. ‘No. I probably shouldn’t be, but I needed to see you. To say sorry for what he did. I can’t believe …’ She trails off, struggling to find the words.

At least she isn’t one of those women who refuse to believe what their husbands are capable of, even if it’s staring them in the face. ‘This must be hard for you,’ I say. ‘But could you tell the police anything at all about where he might be?’

She shakes her head. ‘I have no idea. I haven’t seen or heard from him since he left the house in a hurry yesterday morning. I called and texted all day yesterday but he didn’t reply to any of my messages.’

‘And there’s nowhere you can think of he might go?’ Matt asks.

Sienna turns to him. ‘I gave them details of all his friends and family, but they don’t think he’ll go anywhere he can be traced. They’re checking his mobile records and credit cards, but he’s not used anything since he went on the run. They’ve also checked all the hospitals and put an alert out in case anyone matching his description turns up with a stab wound.’

Once again I am relieved she has acknowledged what he has done. ‘Did you know he was friends with Lucas Hall? And Daniel Rhodes?’ I ask.

Again a shake of her head. ‘No. Nick didn’t socialise much – he was always working. Or with us.’

‘Well, he found the time to attack women, didn’t he? And try and kill people.’ As I say this I think of Mel Harding in that horrific video on Daniel’s phone.

‘Simone!’ Matt’s voice cuts through the air. But I don’t feel guilty about what I’ve said; it is only the truth.

‘No, no, she’s right,’ Sienna says, her face hardening. ‘I don’t know how he’s involved in the disappearance of this girl, but clearly he’s got something to do with it. And why would he try to kill you and that poor woman? I’ve gone over and over it, but none of it adds up.’

I have been wondering this myself. The only thing I know for sure, because of the video evidence, is that Lucas and Daniel raped Chris Harding’s sister. What they did with her after that, I have no idea. Only two voices could be heard on the video but it’s likely Nick was involved too. And what about the stripper Nick introduced me to? How is she involved in all this?

I say all this to Sienna, and watch as her eyes widen in horror. She probably hasn’t heard about the video from the police, as the evidence is missing, and she clearly doesn’t know anything about Gabby.

‘The police will find her,’ I say, ‘but all I could tell them was her name. If that’s even her real one.’ I think of Charlotte and the lengths she has gone to for Lucas. Both Nick and Lucas seem to be skilled at manipulating people, so why not Gabby?

‘He was probably fucking her,’ Sienna says, spitting her words out. Her tears have stopped now, replaced by anger. ‘What the hell was I married to?’

‘He had everyone fooled, not just you.’ I try to offer comfort with my words, but I know nothing will ease her pain.

‘Yes, but I was the one who should have known. Anyway, I’m washing my hands of him. I don’t want to lay eyes on him again. And he will never see his children. Oh God, how can I explain this to them?’

Neither Matt nor I know what to say to this.

‘What will you do now?’ Matt asks, trying to get Sienna off the subject of her children. ‘Are you worried he’ll come back to your house?’

She huffs. ‘He can try, the police are just waiting for him to do that. And I won’t be there.’ She tells us her plan is to leave for Brighton today with the kids. Her sister and her brother-in-law live there and have offered to take them all in for as long as necessary.

‘Just be careful,’ Matt says.

Sienna stands up. ‘I will.’ Turning to me, her lips curl into a thin, sad smile. ‘Simone, I’m really sorry. I just want you to know I’ll help the police in any way I can. And I’m sorry for what he tried to do to you at that flat.’

‘I appreciate that,’ I say. And I mean it. She could so easily have gone the other way and stood by her monster of a husband.

Once she’s gone, Matt and I stand in the hallway, clinging to each other. ‘That poor woman,’ he says, keeping me pulled into him. ‘What a fucking mess.’

It’s not often Matt swears, so I know how affected he is by Sienna’s visit. Perhaps seeing her has made this more real for him. It is different for me: I have been in it from the beginning, finding things out as I’ve gone along and dealing with it hour by hour, not just in a disturbing chunk like Matt has had to. I should have told him everything from the start.

‘I miss Helena,’ he says. ‘I know that sounds crazy because she was only a baby, but I suppose I miss what could have been. The life we would have had.’ Matt has said this before, so I know how much pain it’s still causing him.

I ease back from him but keep hold of his arms. ‘We’ve got a chance now, though, haven’t we? We know who she is.’

He nods slowly. ‘But not
where
she is. They just need to find her for us. Not like last time.’

We both fall silent, contemplating Matt’s words.

‘Listen, Simone,’ he says, after a moment. ‘Let’s go to the park. Now. I know we usually only go on the anniversary, but something’s telling me we should go today. I don’t know, maybe it will make us feel closer to Helena.’

At the mention of the park, my heart aches with the familiar yearning for my daughter. But at least this time there is hope. ‘I’d like that. But is it safe with Nick Gibbs out there somewhere?’

Matt grabs my hand and squeezes it. ‘I won’t let him or anyone else anywhere near you. I couldn’t protect our daughter, but I won’t let anyone destroy our family again.’

I
t is always
gut-wrenching to visit the park where Helena was taken, even after so many years have passed. On those first visits, I would stand still, unable to move, only capable of imagining the scene as it took place, rewinding it over and over in my head, the frantic words of Matt’s mother wringing in my ears.

The toilet block where she was snatched was modernised years ago, but it still turns my blood cold to see it. And I have not set foot inside it since the first time. I had to then. I had to see the place where she was stolen. But I had no idea then that we wouldn’t find her. Beneath the grief I still had a kernel of hope.

Today the park is quiet, with only a few mothers pushing toddlers on swings, everyone wrapped up against the fierce wind. Ignoring the children’s shrieks of joy, Matt takes my hand and we walk slowly along the path, just as we have done every year. But this time is different. This time we have some answers.

‘Mum’s never forgiven herself,’ Matt says, as we approach the toilet block. I have already decided that today I don’t want to stop and linger, I will keep walking, urge Matt to do the same, and pray that the search for Grace is making progress.

‘I know. But we’ve never blamed her, have we? It wasn’t her fault she got sick. I mean, it was only seconds she had her back turned for. Seconds.’

Matt squeezes my hand tighter and almost comes to a stop, but I keep walking, pulling him along with me. He turns to me and I see his eyes are glassy. ‘I know I never said it at the time,’ he says, ‘and didn’t know how to really, but I loved you even more for that. For not turning against her. I mean, I found it hard enough, and she’s my mum.’

I remember Matt avoiding her calls, struggling to hear her voice or see her face, and the anguish and guilt it caused him was always visible, even though he didn’t voice it.

My pace slows now that we have passed the toilet block. ‘Have you told Miriam about Grace?’ I say.

He shakes his head. ‘Not yet, but I will. I just don’t want to get her hopes up until the police have found her.’

Now that he’s said this, I wonder if he’s thinking the same as I am. That there’s a chance they won’t find her. Or won’t find her alive. But I don’t want to throw this thought out there, I want us to live in this moment of hope for as long as we can.

‘We can tell her together,’ I say. ‘We’re due for a visit.’ Miriam lives in Luton now and it’s been some time since we saw her. She rarely comes to us, and it takes a real emergency for her to leave her flat.

Matt agrees and we complete our circuit of the park in comfortable silence. As we head back to the car, his mobile rings, blaring out from his pocket. The moment he speaks I can tell it’s the surgery, and they need him in.

Confirming my belief, Matt apologises the second he hangs up. ‘I’m sorry, Simone, but the locum’s had an emergency and needs to get home. I need to cover just for a couple of hours, until about half four, then I’ll be back.’

I tell him it’s fine, that I understand. Besides, there are several things I need to do when I get home, the first of which is to call Ginny at the hospital to see how she got on with the police.

Matt drops me at home and we kiss goodbye. ‘Don’t answer the door to anyone,’ he says. ‘I’ll call you when I have a chance. And you call me if you hear anything at all from the police. Double lock the door too.’

He waits until I’m inside and the front door is closed before driving off. Checking the door is double locked, I peel off my coat and head towards the kitchen, imagining warming myself up with a hot chocolate. I also need some lunch.

But before I reach the kitchen I stop, frozen to the spot. Someone is behind me. I haven’t heard footsteps but I can hear short, quick breaths.

This is it.

He has come for me.

I
spin around
, ready to fight for my life. But it’s not Nick Gibbs standing in my hallway. It’s Charlotte Bray.

‘What the hell are you doing here?’ I cannot keep the shock from my voice. But at least she should be easier to fend off than Nick.

She takes a step back and holds out her palms. ‘I … I’m … please – I’m not here to hurt you or do anything.’ Her tone and expression seem genuine, but she has fooled me before and I won’t let her again.

‘How did you get in my house?’

‘I’m sorry, Simone, I smashed your small top kitchen window and climbed through the larger one. It wasn’t locked. I know it’s terrible but I was desperate to talk to you and I promise I’ll pay for the damage.’

Reaching in my pocket, I pull out my phone. ‘I’m calling the police.’

‘No, wait!’ She rushes forward and tries to grab it, but I am too quick and snatch it away, holding it up in the air. I am taller than her so she can’t quite reach high enough to get it now.

‘Move away from me now, Charlotte or, I swear, you’ll get hurt.’ I don’t know why I am warning her, after she led Nick to us. She is responsible for Ginny’s injuries as much as he is.

She freezes. ‘Please, Simone, just give me two minutes and I’ll explain everything. And then if you still want to you can call the police.’

I shouldn’t agree to this. She cannot be trusted and I’m alone here. How do I know Nick Gibbs isn’t in the house, waiting for me to let down my guard? ‘Give me your phone,’ I say, holding out my hand.

Her forehead creases. ‘What? Why?’

‘If you want me to listen, just do it, Charlotte. And quickly.’

Her brown leather bag hangs across her body and she starts to open the zip.

‘Wait,’ I say. ‘I’ve had a better idea. Give me your bag.’

Assuming she will protest, I already have my argument prepared, but she surprises me and pulls it over her head without a word, handing it to me. I snatch it from her then grab her arm, leading her to the kitchen. The damage to the small window is not as bad as I’ve expected, and after taping some cardboard to it, I decide I will explain it to Matt later. I will just have to make sure I’m back before him so he doesn’t worry.

Pushing past Charlotte, I head to the front door, instructing her to follow me.

‘Where are we going?’ she asks, once we’re back in the hall.

‘Do you think I’m stupid, Charlotte?’ I pull on my coat. ‘We’re getting out of this house now, and going somewhere public. That’s the only choice you have if you want me to listen, so I suggest you come with me now.’ I surprise myself with my confidence. I still can’t trust her and don’t know what she and Nick Gibbs have planned, but if there’s any chance she’s finally being honest then I need to hear her out. I need to find out what she knows about Grace.

Once we’re outside, the door shut behind us, I walk as fast as I can in the direction of Fulham Palace Road. It will be busy there, and I will feel safer. I don’t speak to Charlotte, but I have her bag clutched tightly in my hand and can hear her rasping breaths as she struggles to keep up. Several times, I turn back to check we’re not being followed, but thankfully there is nobody suspicious behind us.

Only when we reach the bustling main road do I dare to slow down, but not before I check once more that Nick Gibbs isn’t following. A bus pulls into the stop we are approaching and instinctively I grab Charlotte’s arm and tell her we’re getting on it. She doesn’t protest and I feel her arm fall limp in my grasp.

I get my Oyster card ready and ask her if she has one. Thankfully, she pulls one out of her pocket and we step onto the bus. Once we’ve scanned our cards, I lead her to the empty back seat, and carefully assess all the passengers getting on. None of them are Nick Gibbs.

‘Right,’ I say, when the bus starts to move, ‘now you can talk. But I’m warning you, I don’t trust a thing that leaves your mouth.’

Charlotte looks around her and lowers her voice. ‘What, here?’

‘Yes, start talking. I’ll tell you when we’re getting off.’ I must sound as if I have a plan because she quickly nods. The truth is I still have no idea where we’re going, but am hoping my instincts won’t let me down.

Her voice is almost a whisper when she begins talking, and I have to lean closer to hear her clearly. That’s when I see the tears in her eyes.

‘He lied to me,’ she says. ‘Nick Gibbs. He told me I’d see Lucas again if I just did as he asked. But it was all lies.’

I tell her to slow down and start from the beginning, that what she’s saying is not making sense.

‘Please, can we just get off this bus? I will tell you everything, but I can’t talk here.’ She swipes at her eyes, but fresh tears appear as quickly as she wipes them away.

I look around and a few people seated opposite us are looking at Charlotte, noticing her distress. While I do want to be out in public, I realise a bus probably isn’t the best place for the conversation we need to have. Through the window, I see we are approaching Putney Bridge. ‘Okay, we’ll get off soon and talk then,’ I say. But I don’t tell her where I plan to get off. I am still not taking any chances.

For several minutes we sit in silence and once we’ve crossed Putney Bridge, I stand, ushering her up with me. ‘We’re getting off at the next stop,’ I say, pressing the red button.

As soon as we are standing on Putney High Street I know this is the right place. With so many cars and people passing by, it will be difficult for Charlotte to try anything. Spotting a bench on the corner of the pavement, I lead Charlotte to it and we sit down. It faces the main road, so from here I have a good view of cars passing and pedestrians. And with all the traffic noise blocking our voices from being heard, we can speak openly.

Charlotte appears at ease with my choice, and although her cheeks are stained with mascara, no fresh tears fall. ‘Open my bag,’ she says. ‘There’s something in there you should have.’

Tentatively, I lift the flap of her bag and slide the zip open, peering inside. It is crammed full of things: a purse, an umbrella, an iPod, but I don’t see anything Charlotte might be referring to. I must look confused because she thrusts her hand in and feels around, eventually pulling out three mobile phones.

‘I’m sorry,’ she says, ‘I should never have …’ She trails off.

I take my phone and try to switch it on but the battery must be dead. Putting it, and Ginny’s phone, in my bag, I realise something is missing, because the third phone is Charlotte’s. ‘Where’s Daniel’s phone?’ I ask. ‘You took his from my bag as well, I know you did.’

She stares at her feet. ‘I’m sorry. I got rid of it. I just didn’t want to believe that voice was Lucas’s. I didn’t want him to get into trouble.’

Annoyed, I realise there is nothing I can do about this now. I turn back to Charlotte. ‘Right, I think you need to start from the beginning. And you’d better tell me everything.’

She explains that she met Lucas around the beginning of December. She’d gone to a bar in Covent Garden with some friends to celebrate a birthday. ‘I was pretty drunk,’ she explains, ‘but the second he walked in I thought he was hot.’ Charlotte knew he was a lot older, but for her that was part of the attraction. She wanted something different, was fed up of meeting the same kind of people. He kept staring at her all evening, but only made his move towards the end of the night.

‘Who was he with?’ I ask, wondering if Daniel or Nick Gibbs were with him.

‘No one. He was on his own. Said he was just having a quick drink after a long day of meetings.’

Lucas approached her when she visited the toilets, and they talked in the corridor, away from her friends. ‘I was quite forward,’ Charlotte admits. ‘I just grabbed him and started kissing him and I don’t think he was expecting it. But he didn’t stop me. Then he asked for my email address.’

I already know why he wanted to communicate this way instead of by phone, and I’m sure Charlotte worked it out too. Hannah.

‘When you kissed him did you know he was married?’ I ask.

She stares at her feet again. ‘Yes. I saw his ring. And I know I shouldn’t have done it, but he was like a magnet and I couldn’t stop myself. I can’t even blame the alcohol – I probably would have still done it sober.’

Charlotte tells me they communicated by email a few times, and then met up in Hyde Park. ‘That was the first time we … you know. It was freezing cold but I didn’t care. And nobody could see us, we were hidden in the bushes.’

I don’t want to hear this, but at least he didn’t force her. ‘What happened when you went missing, Charlotte? Where were you?’

The involuntary smile that has formed on her face since she started talking about Lucas suddenly vanishes. Charlotte bites her fingernail. ‘We’d been seeing each other for a few weeks and one night I was waiting for Lucas at his flat. We’d arranged it, and I was going to tell him I wanted him to leave his wife.’

I almost interject that this is ridiculous. They had only known each other a few weeks and she was ready to wreck his marriage. But I remind myself Charlotte is young, and clearly naïve. I think of Mel Harding, and wonder if she felt the same as Charlotte? Did she also hope Lucas would leave Hannah for her? I hope I’m wrong about what I think has happened to her. I pray the police will find her alive.

‘But he didn’t show up,’ Charlotte continues. ‘I’d fallen asleep on the bed when I heard the door opening. It was dark and I couldn’t see much but I knew straight away it wasn’t him. It was Nick Gibbs.’

I shouldn’t be surprised to hear this but I am. I’m also sceptical. Although I think what she’s told me up to now seems genuine, I have no idea of her agenda.

Tears drop from her eyes again. ‘I’d never met him before but he introduced himself and told me Lucas had sent him, and that they were friends. Then he … he locked me in that room and he …’

I know what she’s going to say but I need her to confirm it. When she does, it is worse than I imagined. Nick Gibbs kept her in that bedroom for two weeks, tied up and gagged, raping her repeatedly, until she could barely move. ‘The thing is, there were several times I thought it wasn’t even him, but some new person doing it. But I couldn’t see through the rag he blindfolded me with. I think he … told someone else … and they came and …’ She breaks down, her body shaking with the force of her sobs.

I reach out and hug her, even after what she’s done, I doubt she could fake this much emotion. ‘Why didn’t you tell the police, Charlotte? How could you let him get away with that?’

‘D’you know what got me though it?’ she says, her voice shaking. ‘The thought of seeing Lucas again. And Nick said that would only happen if I didn’t make a fuss or try to run away. I was so desperate to see Lucas that I believed him. But he also threatened my family. Said he knew where Mum and Dad worked.’

And now – if Charlotte is telling the truth – things are starting to make sense.

‘But you got away,’ I say. ‘Why did he let you go?’

‘One day he just threw the keys at me and told me I could go. He knew I wouldn’t tell anyone what he’d done because I was desperate to see Lucas again. They were best friends, he said, and if Lucas knew about this he would blame me, and say that I’d seduced Nick. Or he said the police would say that Lucas was involved and arrest him too. I just couldn’t take that chance.’

I feel sorry for her in this moment. Her naïvety has got her into this mess, as well as her desperation for a man who doesn’t even care about her. Because from what she has told me, I am sure Lucas was one of the other men raping her in that room. But I don’t say this. I will spare her that, at least.

‘Charlotte, did Nick ever film you? I mean when he … you know.’

Her face pales. ‘It’s possible, I suppose. But I was blindfolded so I wouldn’t have known. Oh God!’

‘Sorry, I shouldn’t have asked, but don’t think about that. Look, I need to ask you something important. Do you know anything at all about Grace, the girl I showed you a picture of?’

‘Your friend’s daughter?’ She shakes her head. ‘No, I’m sorry, I’ve never seen her.’

‘And did Lucas or Nick ever mention her?’

Again she shakes her head. ‘I’m sorry, but no. Never.’

My disappointment threatens to crush me. Since sitting on this bench with Charlotte, I have allowed myself to believe she knows something that will help the police find Grace.

Trying to stay strong, I turn to Charlotte. There is something I’ve just remembered. ‘But the police found your bag, Charlotte. In east London. Before you turned up. How is that possible when you would have had it with you when you went to Lucas’s flat?’

‘Nick took it,’ she says, without hesitation. ‘He must have dumped it, but I don’t know why.’

It is hard to argue with this; it’s perfectly plausible he dumped it miles away to throw the police off the scent.

‘Now I understand why you wouldn’t let anyone examine you when you were back home,’ I say, remembering Tamsin’s anguish at this.

‘I couldn’t. If Nick thought I was helping the police he would have kept me from Lucas.’

‘So what happened when you saw Lucas again?’ I ask.

She stares at me, her eyes glassy and wild. ‘That’s just it. I didn’t see him again. He … he just disappeared. But then you were asking about him that day and Nick called me and said I had to help him get to you. He knew all about you, and said you’d try and talk to me again.’

It is clear to me now that the second Abbot and I turned up at Nick’s house he knew we weren’t who we claimed to be. And a man with that much money would have no trouble tracking me down and keeping tabs on me.

‘How did he want you to help?’ I ask. ‘What did he tell you to do?’

‘I swear I didn’t want to help him,’ Charlotte says, her eyes filling with tears. ‘He just said to let him know if you asked about Lucas. It was just bad luck that you turned up that day wanting me to show you where his flat was. I was so confused and desperate to see Lucas that I didn’t think about what I was doing. I texted Nick in the car and he told me what to do.’ She grabs my arm. ‘Simone, I’m so sorry. I had no idea what he was planning. If I’d thought about what he might do I never would have … even if it meant never seeing Lucas again.’