The Go-Between (The Nilaruna Cycles Book 1) (20 page)

I hear swords ring as they are
loosened from their scabbards.

“Everything okay?” a voice whispers
in my ear, and we both jump, choking on screams.

“Shiva!” I whisper furiously.
“What are you doing here? Are the men safe?”

“Bandits,” he says calmly.
“Faaris and Kai will dispatch them. But two are headed this way to take the
horses. And there’s one more floating around out here. He’s powerful. He can
hide himself from me.”

Saphala starts to shake.

I listen hard. I can hear Faaris
and Kai shouting menacingly, but that’s it.

“Can I make it to the horses
first?” I ask him.

“You may get on but they’ll see
you. And they’ll track you.”

“Can I reach the packs and make
it back here?”

“If you go now.”

I don’t think about it. I jump up
and do my limping version of a sprint back to the horses.

I reach Manoj’s horse and
unbuckle his pack. As I take a step to run back, a scruffy man in tattered
clothes and a foot-long beard appears in front of me.

“Whoa there, girly,” he says, his
grimy fingers playing along the edge of the knife in his hands. “Give me the
pack.”

“Take the horses and go,” I say.
“I don’t want any trouble.”

He chuckles at that. “But trouble
you found. Throw me the pack, get on the horse, and we’ll be on our way.”

“No.” I twist my fingers into the
pack, trying to appear agitated.

His face darkens. “I ain’t gonna
ask twice. Throw me the pack!”

I’ve always had good aim.

I toss the pack at him as hard as
I can. He catches it, stepping back with a grunt.

Then I grip the knife I removed
from the pack, hilt in my sweaty palm, and throw it overhand at him.

It whistles through the air,
tumbling tip over hilt, and buries itself in his throat. I run over and yank it
out, blood fountaining in the air and spraying my veil. I run the blade over
his throat in a wide slit, grab the pack, and stand, listening hard.

Footsteps. On the other side of
the horse, the side where I need to be.

I wipe the blade quickly on the
dead man’s trousers and crouch over him.

Running footsteps.

“Heavens, Dinesh, what happened?”
this new man says, rounding Manoj’s horse. He freezes as he surveys the scene.

I focus and react. The blade flies
again, landing in his upper thigh with a sickening thud. The man crumples to
the ground like a sad sack of grain. Blood is already darkening the dirt around
him.

The man tries to speak but gasps
in pain instead. I take the pack, heavy with coin and Manoj’s exacting
provisions standards, and smash it into the man’s face. I extract the knife and
slice open his throat for good measure.

Then I take the pack and run.

Faaris takes out the second man easily, and we stand around, panting.

Manoj wanders further down the
road.

“There are more,” he says,
crouching in the dust. “Three more.” He stands and scans the surrounding wood.
“I don’t see them.”

“Nili,” I say, and I take off
running, Faaris and Manoj hot on my heels.

We reach the horses, and there’s
a blood bath. My stomach heaves, not from the blood but from the panic, and I
fight not to vomit.

A woman screams.

We dive into the woods and run.

***

“Don’t
hurt her,” Nili says. “There’s no need to hurt her.”

“Why are you covered in blood?” a
man screams. “Where are my friends?”

“It’s my blood,” she says. “They
hurt me and stole our horses. They’re gone.”

“They wouldn’t leave me!” he
shouts. “They didn’t.”

“Let her go and you can follow
them,” she says. “No harm will come to you.”

“Drop the knife! Drop it now.”

Nili hesitates, and the man
presses the tip of his blade into the tender skin of Saphala’s throat. Blood
runs down her neck. Her eyes flutter.

Saphala’s knees give out. The man
cannot hold her up with one arm, and for a moment, he’s exposed. I nod to
Faaris, who is creeping up behind him.

But Nili reacts first. She cocks
back her arm and throws her blade. It lands squarely in his eyeball with a
stomach-turning squelch.

Faaris pulls the man away and
cuts his throat while Nili rushes to Saphala.

“It’s okay,” she says softly,
caressing Saphala’s cheek. “You’re safe. He’s dead.”

Saphala bursts into tears.

Manoj runs over and assists,
cleaning Saphala’s wound while Nili comforts her and Faaris holds her head.

I should probably assist, too.

But I can’t. I can’t move. I just
saw…I can’t believe what I just saw. Nili, my Nili, just killed three strong
men. My Nili just saved the life of her friend.

My Nili is a hero.

I lean on a tree for support.

“Where are you hurt?” Manoj asks
her. “Take off this infernal veil so I can see!”

Nili laughs. “It’s okay, Manoj.
I’m fine. I’m not hurt.”

“But all this blood—”

“Is from those men,” she says. “I
was thinking of you. I got a little carried away with your knife.”

I frown at that. She was thinking
of him?

“Magic?” he asks.

“Definitely. I just focused. And
my emotions were fueling it, I mean, I was scared out of my mind, but I just
let the magic take over. It guided my actions. I didn’t even need to think
about it.”

“I want that trick,” he says,
winking at her. Winking! “You’ll show me, won’t you?”

“Of course.”

“Excuse me,” I say. “We can fawn
over Nili and her magic later. For now, we need to get on the road and get
cleaned up.”

Manoj stands, brushing the dirt
from his knees. “There’s a stream a couple of leagues ahead.”

Faaris lifts Saphala to her feet.
She manages to stand, even though she’s shaky.

“Let’s go,” I say, stalking off
ahead of them.

***

Nilaruna catches up to me and tries to keep pace, but I’m walking
faster than a horse trots, and she’s limping heavily.

“Kai, please wait.”

I don’t, and Nilaruna quickens
her steps.

“Kai, please. What’s wrong?”

I say nothing.

“Kai!” She grabs my tunic sleeve
and yanks me to a stop. “Tell me what’s wrong. Please.”

“I can’t look at you while you’re
covered in blood,” I say.

“You have blood on your tunic,
and I’m looking at you,” she says.

I sigh. “I wasn’t here. You were
in danger and I wasn’t here.”

“That’s not your fault,” she
says.

“It doesn’t matter!” I yell. “I should
be taking care of you! Not the other way around.”

“I know what it feels like when
someone you care about is in danger and you’re powerless to help them,” she
says, taking my hand in hers. “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

Gods, why does she have to be so
understanding all the time? Sometimes I just want to yell. I want to pick a
fight. I don’t know if that’s even possible with Nili.

The last of my adrenaline high
wears off and I sag in place. “I’m sorry I yelled,” I say. “When I saw those
bodies, and we heard Saphala scream…I lost my mind, Nili.”

“You did?” she says, a smile in
her voice.

“Yes. And I’m angry. Maja said
he’d be looking out for you. Where the hell is he?”

“He sent Shiva,” she says, and I
raise an eyebrow. “Shiva appeared in our hiding place and alerted us to the
men. He’s the reason we weren’t harmed.”

“He’s not supposed to alert you
to danger so you can throw yourself headlong into a knife!” I say. “He’s
supposed to protect you!”

“You know Shiva does things his
own way,” she says. “Let’s just be grateful. Everyone’s okay. It doesn’t matter
how or why.”

Like hell it doesn’t, but that’s
a conversation I need to have with Maja himself.

“Are you okay?” I ask her. “That
had to be frightening.”

“I’m fine now,” she says. “It
doesn’t seem real.”

“I noticed you were limping.”

She nods. “My body did what it
needed to do in the moment, but I’m paying the price. I just need a bit of
rest.”

I sheath my sword and pick Nili
up in my arms. “May I carry you, my lady?”

She giggles. “If you promise not
to drop me.”

“Never.”

We
reach the stream and decide to camp for the night. Saphala has alternately been
weepy and catatonic, and has slowed our progress considerably.

Manoj is the only one without
blood on him. He sets about going through our provisions, finding clean clothes
for each us, and then starting a fire and preparing our meal.

Faaris makes Saphala a pallet
next to the fire and wraps her in blankets. Then he, Kai, and I wade into the
stream.

When the frigid water hits my
hip, I actually cry out at the pain.

“What is it?” Kai asks, swimming
over to me.

“Just my leg,” I say through
gritted teeth. “Can you turn your backs?”

They both comply, and I hunker
down in the water and strip off my pants. They stick to the skin of my hip, and
the area burns and throbs. I finally peel them off, throw them to the shore,
and look at my left hip.

The scar tissue has split open, a
gash about six inches long, extending from my hip bone and backwards down my
buttocks.
 
It’s as if someone took a
strip of cloth and tore it clean in half, except instead of cloth, it’s my
skin.

“Manoj,” I say, waving to get his
attention. I squat low so he can’t see me, and he comes to the edge of the
water. “Do you have a needle and thread with you?”

“Yes. Are you hurt?”

I nod. “It’s not too bad, but I
need stitches.”

“Those men cut you?”

“No.”

“Show me.” I turn to Kai, who’s
now upon me, inches from my nakedness. “Show me the wound, Nili.”

I shake my head. “It’s on my hip,
Kai. I can’t show you. No.”

“I’ve stitched plenty of wounds.
There’s no need to be embarrassed. If you need stitches, we’re not waiting
until we return to the palace for you to get them.”

“I can do it myself,” I say. “My
father’s a healer, remember?”

“Unacceptable,” he says. “It’s
going to hurt. Let me do it.”

“I’m used to pain,” I say. “And
if anyone were going to do it, it should be Manoj. It’s improper for you to see
that part of me.”

He grits his teeth. “It’s even
more improper for another to man to see it. I will not argue with you. I’m
doing it. End of discussion. Now clean your hair and veil and get out of the
water, Nili. Now.”

Whoa. The look in Kai’s eye…it’s
like he’s possessed. I know when to end an argument.

I rinse out my hair and scrub my
face. Thank goodness for my veil — I was saved from a direct hit from the
blood splatter. I work my toes over the bed of the stream and find a rock. I
bring it up and use it to scrub the blood from my veil and shirt.

“Turn around,” I say. “I’m
getting out. Manoj, turn around.”

The men turn away from me, and I
climb out of the stream. As I make my way over the rocky shore, my hip screams
and gives out on me. I fall to my knees, scraping off the top layer of skin.

“Don’t look!” I scream. “I’m
fine. Nobody look!”

Damn the gods. I’m sure all three
of them looked when I fell, and Faaris and Kai both would have gotten a stellar
view of my behind.

I sigh. Then I crawl my way up to
the clothing Manoj has set out for me.

“Where are my pants, Manoj?” I
say.

“I traded them for the blanket,”
he says, “since you have to get stitched up. Just put on the dry tunic and wrap
the blanket around you.”

I don’t like it, but fine.

“You can look now,” I call.

Faaris and Kai stomp out of the
water, unabashed in their nudity. I quickly avert my eyes.

“Nili?” Manoj says. “I’ve got
your bed made up. Why don’t you lie down so we can take care of you?”

I do. Manoj brings me a tin cup
of tea.

“I don’t have any analgesic,” he
says. “An analgesic—”

“I know what an analgesic is,” I say,
the pain wearing down my patience. “I don’t need any. I can handle it.”

“I’ve sterilized the needle in
the fire,” Manoj says to Kai. “Bandages are here, thread here. I’ve boiled some
water, and there’s extra cloth if it bleeds excessively.”

“Thank you. Take Faaris and go
over there. Don’t peek. Nili needs privacy.”

I hear Manoj walk away.

Kai squats down in front of me.
“You ready for this?”

“It’s bleeding again,” I say.
“Make it quick. It doesn’t have to look pretty. I’m already scarred.”

Kai nods and grabs a square of
cloth. “I’m going to open the blanket now.”

I nod, close my eyes, and lay my
head down.

He slowly peels the blanket open,
exposing my hip and buttock. He sucks in a loud breath. “Holy heavens, Nili.”

“Don’t comment. Just do it.”

He threads the needle and knots
the thread. “Brace yourself.”

What Kai doesn’t realize is that
the needle doesn’t hurt. I don’t feel it at all, because my scars have no
feeling.

The pain comes from the exposed
muscle and other bits beneath my skin. Every time the thread pulls across it,
it burns. Even the air breathing across it hurts. But like I said, I’m used to
it.

He finishes relatively quickly,
then mops up the blood. “Um,” he says.

I finally lift my head. “What?”

“I can’t wrap a bandage around
the wound. I mean, you’d have to get up, and I would see…”

Kai’s hands are shaking. His face
is pale. It cost him something to cause me pain.

I stand, turn my back to him, and
let the blanket fall to the pallet.

Kai gets to his feet. He gently
places the bandage over the wound. “Hold it in place,” he says in a gruff
voice.

I grip the edge of the bandage in
my scarred hand and hold it tight. He winds the bandage around me, pressing his
front into my back every time the bandage goes around my stomach.

He ties it off in a flat knot and
again presses himself against me. For no medical reason.

He wraps his arms around me and
squeezes. I lean back into him.

“Thank the gods you’re safe,” he
says.

“Thank you for stitching me up,”
I say. “Kai?”

“Yes.”

“I really need to give my leg a
rest.”

“Oh.” He turns me in his arms and
helps me to lie down. Then he stretches out beside me, pulling two blankets
atop us.

“May I hold you?” he asks.

“Only because it’s cold,” I say. “I’m
still feeling a little shocky. A healer would definitely recommend body heat to
help warm me.”

He smiles, pulling my back
against his front.

I fit perfectly.

And it makes me think of Maja.

Why didn’t he come today? He said
he would be looking out for me. He should have come himself. Did I mean so
little to him?

Tears burn my eyes, and I blink
hard to hold them back.

Only when I hear Kai’s breathing
even out and his soft snores tickle my hair do I let the tears fall.

***

It’s still dark when I wake. As I stir, Kai’s arms tighten around me.

“Good morning,” he whispers. “Why
are you up so early?”

“My hip,” I say. “I have to walk
it out. If I don’t, it’ll stiffen up on me.”

I sit up and Kai looks up at me.
“Can I join you for a walk?”

“If you don’t mind losing sleep,”
I say.

He grins and gets to his feet.
“Watch this.” He points to the dying embers of our campfire, and they flare to
life.

“When did you learn to do that?”
I ask him.

“Last night. I practiced for a
couple of hours. I couldn’t sleep.”

Kai hands me a cloak and sets a
couple of logs on the fire to keep it going. Then we head down to the stream,
following along the banks so we don’t lose our way in the dark.

My leg aches. I can barely walk.

“Here, lean on me,” Kai says. He
slips an arm around my waist. “Any new thoughts after a good night’s rest?” he
asks.

“I do have some concerns,” I say,
“but I’m hesitant to speak of them.”

“Why’s that?”

“I might be wrong. I don’t want
to taint your opinion of anyone if I’m wrong.”

He stops walking. “Not about Manoj?”

“Manoj?” I say, surprised. “No,
of course not. Manoj is completely loyal to you. You are lucky to have such a
friend.”

“Then who?”

I start walking again. Er,
limping. “It’s Saphala. I can’t put my finger on it, but she’s changed.”

“Of course she’s changed,” Kai
says. “Look at what she’s been through.”

“We don’t know what she’s been
through,” I say, “because she won’t speak of it. She told me her father
insisted she go away…what does that even mean? That he sold her? Because if he
did sell her, why not just say that?”

“I think you’re overanalyzing
it,” he says. “Loyalty to our parents and our elders is engrained in our
culture. Maybe she was trying to be polite while getting her point across.”

“But Saphala’s never been like
that,” I say. “She was always mouthing off to her father. She hated that he was
a fisherman. She couldn’t wait for a chance to leave Dabani, but we both knew
that chance would never come.”

“And yet it did,” Kai says.

“It did,” I say. “You should have
seen her father when he asked me for help. He was frantic. He wasn’t lying. I’m
sure of it.”

“Have you caught Saphala in a
lie?”

“No,” I say. “But she hasn’t
really told me anything. And there was a moment, when she met you…do you
remember it?”

Kai wrinkles his nose. “Remember
what?”

“She smiled at you. She was
supposed to be bowing properly, and instead she raised her head and smiled at
you.”

“So you suspect your friend is up
to something because she smiled at me?”

“Yes! I mean, no, that’s not…the
point is, she was just rescued, and she meets you, and she’s supposed to be
traumatized and troubled and all that, and she takes the opportunity to flirt
with you.”

“I’m the prince,” he says with a
grin. “Women can’t help themselves.”

I slap his arm, and he chuckles.

“So you thought she was
flirting,” he says. “Is that why you were flirting with Manoj? To get back at
me?”

“Manoj?” I shriek. “I’ve never
flirted with Manoj! I was just being nice to him.”

“He winked at you.”

“Then that would be Manoj being
nice to me,” I say. “I can’t believe you. I would never flirt with another
man.”

“But you’d flirt with me?” he
says.

“You’re my betrothed,” I say.
“Flirting would be perfectly acceptable. If I weren’t in love with someone
else.”

Kai doesn’t respond to that.

“Let’s head back,” he says,
turning us around.

I want to say something to him. I
want to reassure him, but of what? My feelings?

I have no idea what I’m feeling.