The Heart's Ashes (47 page)

Time will have
no meaning then, either, except for the past. Memories, that will
be all that’s left of him, all that’s left of me.

“
Everything looks so different in the winter.” I half closed
my eyes against the glare of sun on snow, warming my hands in the
pockets of my red coat. With the bare trees reaching toward the
sun, and the golden ribbons of foliage blown away until next year,
there was a kind of openness to the forest, like the privacy had
been stolen away, leaving us standing in a spotlight for all to
see.

David stood
behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. “It’s more
beautiful, I think. But maybe that’s just because you’re here with
me.”

From his elbow
to his wrist, I slid my fingers down his black corduroy sleeves and
linked them through his.

Our lake had
nearly frozen since we were last here, and as the afternoon sun
settled on the clouded grey sky, the freshly fallen snow glowed a
dense purple-blue.

But despite
the nakedness of this once flourishing forest, the bare trees
didn’t resemble lifelessness to me, anymore, as they once had—only
the end of a chapter, the silence before a new beginning.

“
Come. Walk with me.” David took my hand and led me to the
water’s edge.

“
David!” I stopped as he stepped out onto the lake. “It’s not
completely frozen—we could fall in.”

“
This part’s fine.” He tapped his foot on the narrow channel
of ice, freezing up the once shallow sandbar to the island. “Do you
trust me?”

“
Implicitly.” I took his hand, stepping onto the slippery ice
bridge.

“
You see? Solid.” He swiftly wrapped me in his arms, my hips
pressed to his, my body arching at the waist so I could look up at
him.

“
Okay. I feel safer
now
.” I let out a pathetic giggle,
resting my hands on his chest. Close to his body, the sting of
frost on my nose and cheeks tingled as hot blood flowed up under
them; David laughed.

“
What?” I asked.

“
You still blush when I hold you this way.” He looked down and
stroked a finger over my cheek. “I love that.”

The distant
call of an eagle, like a swooping whistle, broke the blissful
silence around the lake for a second. I buried my nose into David’s
chest, breathing deep the faded hint of his musky soap as it mixed
with the dry smell of ice and cold.

Quiet as a
whisper at first, he started singing the words to the song he once
dedicated to me here, by the lake, and we swayed softly, turning
gently on the spot as I closed my eyes to the hum of his melodious
voice, needing no music.

With the
familiar words, my clumsy lips mumbled his harmony, and as he
twirled me out from his body, I giggled, exhaling the words of the
song when he spun me back in quickly, smiling.

I felt safe,
warm, and though my skirt and tights weren’t really intended to be
worn outside, I felt none of the cold at all in his arms. The
limitless supply of blood—my blood—made him warmer than I’d ever
known him to be, though the bite, the kill, was something he had to
steal from the innocent while I slept.

When our song
ended, we stood still on the frozen water; David rested his lips
against my hair for a while—just breathing.

The eagle flew
above us again, calling out as he circled on an invisible current
over the murky sky.

David’s grip
tightened. “Ara? I have to tell you something.”

I tensed all
over, looking up as he moistened his lips, perhaps in preparation
for bad news. “What is it?”

“
It’s almost time for me to leave, and I—”

“
What?” I took a long step backward. “No, it’s too
soon.”

“
I know.” He glided toward me. “I don’t want to leave, but I
promised to stay until you were better—and you are now. I cannot
stay any longer for fear of risking your life.”

“
I don’t care—they can take it. It’s nothing without you.” I
burst into tears, pinching the corners of my eyes to make it stop.
“David, I—if you brought me here to say goodbye, then you might as
well just throw me in the—”

“
No.” He grabbed my wrists, pulling them away to look into my
face. “No, I didn’t bring you here for that, sweetheart. I...I
brought you here so we could talk—away from listening ears—to say…”
He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. “To tell you that I’m
sorry. That I made a big mistake when I said goodbye to you. I had
to live with that mistake for longer than I could bear. I don’t
want to leave you again, mon amour. I brought you here to say that
we have to run away—” his strong fingers gripped my upper arms,
“—we have to go as far away from here as we can, because if we
don’t, they’ll find you—and they’ll kill you.”

My heart
wouldn’t believe my ears. My skin tightened with goosebumps, and
tears stopped in the corners of my eyes. “David. Are you saying
that—?”

“
I’m saying I want to start over, Ara—someplace else—somewhere
we can be together. Where none of the past matters, where you and I
are all that exists in the world.”

“
You want to run away together?”

He smiled as
he wiped a tear from my cheek. “Would you want that—to run away,
with me, even though we could never truly live in peace?”

My watery eyes
flicked over his, my mouth hanging open in disbelief. “How can you
ask me that? You know the answer already.”

“
Then…” he hesitated, “that’s a yes?”

“
Yes, it’s a yes, dummy.” I flung my arms around his neck,
standing on my toes to hug him tighter.

“
Oh, thank God. I was so afraid you…” He placed me on the
ground and shook his head. “Never mind. It’s not important. What’s
important now is discussing our next move.”

“
Where will we go?”

“
I have a friend—she
will
help us. We’ll go to Paris, under the protection
of the Lilithians in the Ninth Order, and—”

“
They can change me,” I stated, my eyes wide. “The Lilithians.
Eric told me about th—”

“
Uh. Stop right there.” He held his finger up; “I’ve already
thought of it, and I don’t want that for you.”

“
Why?” My brow tightened with the slap of
rejection.

“
Do you really want to thirst my blood? If you become one of
them—you won’t be the same.”

“
It’s no different to how it is now. I crave you now—except
that I could be immortal—be with you forever.”

“
Ara—” He shook his head.

“
Don’t you want me for eternity? I don’t understand.” I took a
step back, laying my feet down flat on the slippery ice so as not
to slide.

“
It’s not that, Ara.”

“
Then what is it?”

“
It’s because they want my head on a
stake
—the vampires. I left them.
They need to make an example of me.” He walked humanly slow to
stand in front of me again. “If you’re immortal, and they catch us,
they won’t just kill you. I can’t let you get hurt like that, mon
amour. The tortures a human can live through are far less than what
a vampire will be subjected to—for eternity.”

“
Then I won’t get caught.” I brushed his hand away from my
face.

“
I thought you didn’t want to be immortal? I thought you
wanted death one day?”

“
David?” I looked him in the eye. “You know I changed my mind.
I told you that.”

“
No, you were just saying that—” his neck jutted forward, his
eyes wide, “—because it was no longer a possibility. You were just
trying to make me happy.”

“
No! I meant it when I said it. I want to be immortal—with
you—forever. Not just for
my
forever.”

“
But, your mum, and Harry?”

“
They’re dead, David.” I dropped my arms. “And there’s no
guarantee I’ll even see them in the afterlife. But I can guarantee
that I’ll have you. If I become immortal, I can guarantee that
we’ll always be together.”

David closed
his eyes and lowered his head. “I never thought I’d hear you say
that.”

“
You were never around for me to say it.”

“
And for that, I am eternally sorry.” We stood, surrounded by
the chill of the afternoon, staring at each other, frozen by the
anticipation of the future. David broke the breathless silence
first. “You would really change—for me?”

I placed my
hand on my chest and shook my head as I spoke. “With all of my
heart—I’ll promise you eternity.”

“
That’s all I ever wanted.” He smiled and lifted me into his
arms, spinning me around in the middle of the ice bridge over our
secret lake.

“
So, when do you leave?” Mike’s breath came across the dining
table, warmed with the smell of coffee. He set his cup down by his
other hand and looked at David.

“
Early spring,” I said. “David’s Set won’t return ‘til
then.”

“
Wouldn’t it be smarter to leave now, then?” Emily said. “Get
out while you can?”

I shook my
head. “I need time to say goodbye to Dad and Vicki.”

“
Will you ever come back?” Mike asked hesitantly.

Emily slid
Mike’s coffee cup aside and weaved her fingers through his.

“
I don’t know,” I said. “It’ll be dangerous for us—they’ll
always be after David, now.”

“
What if it doesn’t work?” Mike leaned forward a little. “What
if you don’t change and you go into a coma again?”

“
A Lilithian transformation differs to a vampire,” David
advised. “Genetics don’t come into play.”

“
So, you
will
be immortal. There’s no question?” Mike looked at
me.

“
Yes.”

“
I’m not sure I like it, Ara.” His serious face slipped on
like a mask.

“
But—”

“
But it’s what you want.” He held up his index finger, then
grinned at David. “So, I know you don’t need it, but you have my
blessing to kidnap my best friend and turn her into the living
dead.”

“
They’re not dead, Mike.” I rolled my eyes.

“
I know.” Mike winked at me.

“
There’s something else.” I sat taller; David stiffened beside
me. “Em?”

Her face
mimicked my inward concern. “Ara? What is it?”

“
David didn’t want to tell you this—”

“
Ara.” David, with his hands clasped on the table in front of
him, turned his head an inch and shook it.

“
I’m sorry, David. She needs to know.” I looked back at Mike
and then, especially, at Emily. “You have to join a Set. It’s
against—”

“
Ara.” She squirmed in her seat, smiling. “I’m not joining a
Set—that’s crazy. I’m not one of them.”

Mike rested
his elbow on the table and rubbed his brow. “I forgot about
that.”

“
About what?” Em looked at David. “What are you saying—that I
have no choice?”

“
Em.” Mike reached across and took her hand again. “Ara’s
right. David educated me on the politics—back when Ara was in
hospital, and I—” He shook his head. “Look, the point is, they’ll
come after you if you don’t join a Set.”

“
But I’m not one of them,” she cried. “I don’t want this. I
don’t want that life.”

“
None of us did, Em.” David sighed and leaned back in his
chair. “It’s just a part of it.”

“
But—” her glassy eyes moved from David to Mike. “But I’ll
have to leave Mike. He—we—we won’t be able to be together, will
we?”

“
Not long-term. It’s against the law.” David’s face showed no
emotion; the factual lawyer rising to the surface.

Mike sat back
in his chair and dropped his hands in his lap.

“
I’m sorry, Emily,” David said.

The song
playing on the radio in the background forced too much joy into the
empty moment—a song for dancing, celebrating. But Emily was torn
apart inside, anyone could see that—could see the panic, the
desperation to find some way to change it, to have some power.

She doesn’t want this life.
I
wanted it, and now it’s a burden to
her
. I hate Jason, right
now.

“
Can’t we run?” Mike asked, charged by her desperation. “Can’t
we—”

“
Mike,” David interjected, resting his face in his hands, his
elbows on the table. “This is why I left Ara in the first place,
okay. I didn’t want this life for her, either, but you two went
looking for trouble—” he presented his palm to Emily, “—and now
you’ve got it.”

“
David!” I slapped him on the arm.

“
Sorry, but it’s the way things are. If you don’t like
it—”

“
Well I don’t!” Emily folded her arms. “I don’t want to be a
vampire.”

“
And yet you have no choice!” David yelled back; we all
froze.

“
David, please?” her tone softened as she looked at him.
“
Please
, take me
with you when you go?”

“
It’s too dangerous.”

“
But, what about Ara—you’re taking
her
. Wouldn’t it be better if we all
went? We could keep each other safe.”