The Heart's Ashes (70 page)

“
You
can’t?” Tears streaked the sides
of my face. “Please. I have no control. Don’t—just reach out. Just
grab his hand. You have to.” I wriggled as Jason set the cold,
pinching scalpel to my chest. “Oh God. Eric—just stop
him.”

He didn’t move
though. He didn’t move.

I screamed in
one long, high-pitched wail.

“
Shh.” Eric cupped my mouth, muffling my scream. “It’s okay,
beautiful girl, I’ll make it stop.”

No
. My eyes grew wide, bulging with
pressure as his hand forced down against my nose and lips. I shook
my head.

I can’t
breathe.

My knees bent
slightly and shifted against the chair, the wetness around my
ankles, probably blood, making it easier to slide my leg up a
little, but not get my foot out; my wrists tugged hard at the
clamps as my hips twisted, lifting as I struggled to break out of
his suffocating hold.

Not like this.
I want to go home. I want my dad. Please just let me go home.

“
Shh.” He closed his eyes.

My stomach
shook, frantically trying to imitate breath, but there was none to
have. The blood pulsed to my head, making it heavy, tight,
dizzy.

I’m not a
vampire. I’m just a girl. Human…huma…

A tight
narrowing in my throat forced saliva to fill my mouth under my
tongue. My shoulders jolted violently under me, fighting for that
last hope of air as my chest hiccupped, rubbing the walls of my
empty lungs together.

I stared up at
Eric, tears streaming my face, while his eyes stayed focused, hard.
“Shh,” he said softly, his gaze travelling to something across the
room.

Eric—you’re
suffocating me. I’m not a vampire, I’m just a…

The shiver of
panic eased and a soft, slow ringing filled my ears, rolling me
back—my body floating outward, headed for the sea...

“
Shh, just breathe.” A soft, whispery voice broke through the
darkness, and the howling in my dream scattered to the sides of my
subconscious. “Just breathe, beautiful girl—you can do
it.”

“
Take short, sharp, breaths, Ara. You will recover more
quickly,” Jason advised in a dull tone, his voice forcing a painful
emotional sting.

I swallowed a
sludgy, spicy mucous, pooling under my tongue, and drew a deep,
tight breath. It came through my lungs with a high-pitched rasp,
and when the air touched the back of my throat, it sliced the raw
passage, like searing razors. I coughed out my anguish and closed
my mouth, pressing my lips together as a flood of warm, greasy
liquid slimed between them.

What are they
pouring in my mouth?

“
It’s human blood.” Jason answered my thought.

“
Why?” I cried, gargling as he forced my lips
apart.

“
To see what reaction it has on you.”

I shifted the
muscles deep in my oesophagus until the liquid travelled
down—spilling out the sides of my mouth where Jason held them open.
My hands clenched and a fierce rush of heat tightened my
muscles.

No. It burns.
Get the fuck off me.

Taking a
breath, I opened my eyes, and as another flood of the foul tasting
goo trickled over my tongue, coughed, sending splatters of blood
over Jason’s already covered face.

“
Swallow,” he said through his teeth, clamping my chin with
his fingertips, pressing his thumbs into my cheeks. “I’ll let you
open your mouth when you swallow.”

Blocking the
passage to my stomach with the back of my tongue, the liquid
floated along the insides of my cheeks, and I cried, making only a
strange “Unnngg” sound.

“
That’s enough,” Eric said, grabbing Jason’s arm.

“
Do you have a problem with the maltreatment of a Lilithian,
Eric?” Jason released me and backed away.

With a strange
whimpering groan, I lifted my head, spattering the blood—warm and
wet—all over my chin and down my neck where it dribbled onto my
chest, pooling against my gown around my ribs.

It’s no good.
I can’t get it all out. Damn it, I swallowed. Oh God, I
swallowed.

The unwelcome,
unnatural substance scraped the inside of my throat, grabbing the
lining of stomach with its clawing nails and slapping the
muscles—making them heave and shift like leeches were swimming
around in there.

“
Help!” I cried, lifting one shoulder. “I’m gonna be sick.”
Where are they? My fingers curled and hot liquid bubbled in my gut,
shimmying its way up the narrow passage leading back out to my
lips.

“
I don’t care what you’ve been told to do!” Eric yelled. “I
want it to stop. Now! At least give her a break before you hurt her
anymore.”

My muscles
shook all over with the unsteady heaving in my intestines. I
breathed out, soft, queasy murmurs, until suddenly, the burning
reached the back of my throat and projected—rising into the air a
little, then stinging my nostrils as it flooded through them—back
down my throat. I tried to turn my head, but heaved again as more
vomit erupted out through my teeth.

Long fingers
pressed the base of my neck and tilted my head upward as another
wave of nausea forced a vehement blast of blood from my lips—this
time over my shoulder and arm.

It’s not
stopping. Make it stop. My head twisted, pulsing and pounding, the
strain fissuring my temples with each heave.

“
Shh.” Jason’s whisper came from above me. “Don’t drown yet,
we’re not finished.”

Weeping
disgracefully, humiliation burned my cheeks and I panted, suddenly
able to breathe with the cloud of agony lifting from inside me and
easing as my stomach twitched rapidly. Though my body continued to
heave, nothing came out.

Jason rested
my head back on the chair and moved away.

“
Amara.” Eric bent down then stood up, wiping soft lace over
my face; attempting to blot away the sticky red. He folded the
cloth several times, merely smearing the blood around my cheek and
chin. “I’m so sorry, Amara. I’m so sorry.” He shook his head,
repeating his apology over and over.

“
I want to die,” I moaned faintly. “Just please—please just
let it be over.”

“
Okay.” Eric nodded, brushing my sticky, blood-clumped hair
from my face, tearing a dried strand from the clutches of the cut
on my lip. “I’ll make it stop. I’ll make him stop.”

“
Not yet, you won’t.” Jason stepped between Eric and I, and,
using the end of his sleeve, smeared a heap of blood from under my
nose and around the corners of my mouth.

“
Jason?” Eric closed his eyes, pinching the skin on his
forehead. “She’s been through enough. Come on, man. Just put her
out of her misery.”

“
I can’t. I have orders.”

“
This is different. She’s not from this world.” Eric pointed
to me. “She’s not used to this kind of treatment.”

“
Lieutenant?” A man came practically tumbling down the
stairs.

“
Shaun, what is it?” Jason turned to him; Eric stiffened, his
hands clenching by his sides.

“
The Blood King has ordered the accused be brought to
justice.”

“
What! Now?” Eric asked with a very foreign-sounding hint of
panic in his tone.

“
Yes. These are the wishes of the king.” The man
bowed.

“
Did he give reason for this change in plan?”

“
Yes, sir. There is a rebellion occurring. The king held trial
for the accused only moments ago and expects the execution to take
place immediately.”

Execution?
My
execution?

“
Advise the Council we will arrive within the
minute.”

“
As you will it.” Shaun bowed, then ran up the
stairs.

Jason
disappeared from sight and Eric stood above me again. “Almost over,
Ara.”

The tight,
skin-cutting clamp from my ankle released, and blood rushed back
into my toes, chilling them first before a numb tingle tightened
like pins around them.

Eric sliced
the tip of his thumb with his teeth and wiped some of his own blood
over my lips, shaking his head.

“
Hey!” Jason grabbed Eric’s arm. “No blood.”

He dropped his
hand and looked at me, mouthing the words, “I’m sorry.”

I nodded.

As Jason
released my wrists from the clamps, I laid dead still, my hands and
arms unreactive, hollow and weak. He looked right into my eyes,
narrowing his. “It’s time for you to show my brother what you’re
capable of.”

David? David’s
here?

“
Yes. You’re going to kill him.”

Shock sunk
through my heart and caved my chest. “No!”

“
Yes.” He lifted me from the sticky, bloody mess of the chair;
the cold touch of air made the tepid moisture all over my back feel
like slime. “When you’ve killed him, I will give you some peace
before I hurt you again.”

My body jolted
as he readjusted his arms around me, lifting me so my head rested
on his shoulder, my legs over his forearm and my shoulder tucked
neatly under the apex of his arm. All I could do was cry. I closed
my eyes, wishing so hard that I could fight him. “Please don’t make
me do it, Jason.”

“
Stop talking.”

“
Please. I know you don’t want to—I can feel it.”
I hope.

“
Sweet, Ara. Sees so much good in everyone.” He squeezed me
tight, his lips against my face. “What if there’s not—what if I
really am just as evil as everyone believes.”

“
I
don’t believe it,” I
whispered.

Jason
stiffened and his teeth crunched together in his mouth. “Well, what
you believe doesn’t really count. I’ve proven myself a worthy
servant to the king, and now, I will make you kill David.”

“
No. I won’t do it.” I could feel the fight rising inside
me.

“
You will.”

“
No!” The strength to survive suddenly rushed through my veins
like cold ice. I thrashed about, kicking my arms and legs,
wriggling to get free of his hold.

“
Stop it.”

“
No. Don’t, Jason, please don’t make me do this. I love him. I
love him. Please?”

His unyielding
grip prevailed as we walked into the dense, cold shadows of the
corridor in the world of free air.

I’m out. I’m
out of that room. If I can just get down... My hand shifted from
his grip; I lashed out, scraping my nails across his face.

“
Rah!” he roared, and the ground hit my spine with a
breath-taking jolt before I realised he dropped me. My eyes flashed
open to his face above mine; he grabbed my wrist. “If you do that
again I’ll—”

“
Let me carry her,” Eric offered, bending down.

“
No,” Jason yelled and shoved a palm to Eric’s chest. “She
stays with me.”

Eric’s eyes
met mine as Jason hoisted me off the ground—over his shoulder.

“
You’re hurting me,” I yelled, digging into his back with my
fingernails. “Stop it! Let me down.”

Jason rolled
me off him, shoving me against a wall then squatted, grabbing my
face sharply. “You are such a pain in the arse.”

I pushed at
his hand, twisting my face away, but he squeezed my cheeks harder,
my gashed lip popping under the scab, making blood prickle out.

“
Show him,” he whispered through his teeth, into my hair.
“He’s in there, right now, show him your thoughts; show him what I
did to you.”

“
No.” I shook my head, pushing my feet on the
ground—attempting to shuffle away.

“
Show him,” he raised his voice a little more.

“
No. I don’t want him to die with that on his
soul.”

“
You will!” he yelled and bashed my skull into the wall; the
room spun. My head felt heavy, full of cold-rushing-away-with-warm
liquid. “Ara, don’t pass out on me again,” he warned.

My eyes rolled
to the back of my head as Jason’s face blurred from the edges,
inward.

Chapter
24

Torture, by
definition, means; to distort something; to inflict pain. It can be
taken in many forms, and the worst, by far, is the torture of
knowledge; knowing what will happen, and not being able to run. He
wants me to kill David. And I don’t know how to stop that from
happening.

My mind
meandered back to my body, and one eye peeked open a little.
Strangely, in what felt like a cosy space, the soft orange glow
over my bloodied hand was enough to make me feel a little safe. If
it weren’t for the cold stone ground under my bruised face, I might
be able to fall asleep for a little while.

“
She’s not breathing,” a voice said.

“
She is. She’s fine,” Jason muttered from above me; I could
feel his boot pressing firmly down on my ribs—stopping my lungs
from expanding.

“
Get off her,” the other voice ordered.

His foot came
down harder. “Make me.”

My nose stung
as I held my breath—so tight, hurting more at the front of my
chest, right down the middle. My ribs felt cracked all the way
around, like a steel ribbon wrapped my lungs.

“
Why is she so uncovered?” someone asked. “What have you done
to her?”

“
Wouldn’t you like to know?”

“
Did you—” the soft, anguished voice paused. “Did you touch
her?”