The Heat Is On (10 page)

“But I want a story now!” Chloe stomped her foot and folded her arms across her chest in protest.

“Want me to take Chloe up and read a story?”

She looked at the ballplayer in disbelief.
Did Connor Jackson really offer to read her daughter a bedtime story?
“Really?”

“Really. Hey, Chloe, want to show me your favorite book?”

Chloe seemed more than delighted with the suggestion and took his hand, leading him back up the steps. Connor sent Tracy a helpless look over his shoulder as her little daughter took over. Something inside of her melted as she saw this big rugged athlete holding a tiny hand, while the other held up her princess nightgown.

Connor Jackson was slowly but surely working his way into her heart. And she wasn't at all sure she was ready for that.

When she finally got everything done, tossed Ethan's PJ's in the wash and put the towels in the dryer, then showered quickly, putting on a robe, all was quiet.

Mason had gone to bed, and Ethan slept peacefully, although the bucket still remained on the floor beside him. Frowning, Tracy ventured back downstairs, looking for Connor; she was looking forward to some private time together.

The night had been a horror show. She wondered what Connor was thinking. A man like him wasn't used to kids getting sick, kids crying, and all hell breaking loose.

Yet he had handled everything with an ease that surprised her. Maybe she was wrong about his ability to handle all this?
At least for an evening
, she reminded herself. That was something very different than a permanent commitment.

He wasn't in the kitchen. Or the living room. She checked the downstairs bathroom, and that was empty. Glancing out the window, she saw his car was still in the driveway. Puzzled, she remembered he had gone up to Chloe's room to read her a story.

When she opened the door to her daughter's room, she found him.

Connor was sprawled across the twin bed with his eyes closed, a pink fairy comforter tangled around him. A book lay open, facedown on his chest. Her little daughter was wide awake, and she put her finger to her lips.

“He's sweeping,” she whispered, indicating the ballplayer.

Tracy didn't know whether to laugh or cry. Connor Jackson, the rugged athlete, was passed out on the bed after one day of dealing with her kids!

But she was filled with tenderness at the touching sight of him, the book still clutched in his hand, his breathing slow and even. She couldn't remember a time when he had ever looked more handsome to her than right now. Those incredible gray-green eyes were framed with thick black lashes that seemed indecent on a man. That sexy grin was still now, and his chiseled features seemed softer, gentler.

Her heart felt full to bursting, and she couldn't stop the impulse of smoothing the quilt endearingly, resisting the ridiculous urge to tuck him in.

He woke immediately, sensing her presence. Connor glanced around the room, obviously uncertain of where he was. He looked at the little girl beside him, grinning as he picked up the storybook.

“Must not have been too exciting,” he said dryly, indicating
The Pokey Little Puppy
. “Here you go, sweetheart.” He handed her the book and climbed out from under the comforter.

“You go to sweep now?” Chloe questioned him, yawning.

“It's time you went to sleep,” Tracy said. She walked over to the bed and tucked her daughter under the covers. “Good night.” She pressed a kiss on her forehead.

“Night.” Chloe snuggled down, apparently unfazed by the entire proceedings, that a Major League ballplayer has been sleeping in her bed.

“I can't believe I fell asleep,” Connor whispered as they went downstairs. “You know, I never thought about what a mother went through, raising kids,” Connor said, shaking his head. “It's exhausting!”

“Not always,” Tracy said. “But today we had a lot going on. Between the trip to the zoo, and then what happened when we came home…”

She didn't finish the sentence, didn't want to remind him of the chaos they had just endured. But if he was bothered by it all, he didn't show it. Instead, he accepted the glass of wine she offered and gave her a look that heated her right down to her toes. “I admired you before. But now…I think you are one hell of a woman.”

Her lips parted in surprise, but before she could respond he indicated the couch. “Why don't you relax and I will get us a couple of slices of the pizza?”

“That sounds incredible,” she said, taking him up on his offer.

When he returned with the plates, she saw the pizza was a little dried out. But it was the best meal she'd had in a long time, she thought, as she and Connor enjoyed the food.

Only then did the day begin to catch up with her. As she sat back on the sofa and relaxed, she gave Connor a tired smile.

“Thank you again. For everything. The kids loved the trip to the zoo, and I very much appreciate all that you did for us today.”

“You don't have to keep thanking me,” Connor said, putting aside his glass of wine and taking her into his arms. “And I totally understand if you have had enough and are ready for bed.”

He was so sweet, so thoughtful to consider her feelings like this. In response, her mouth met his with a gentle testing kiss, and all fatigue left.

“Oh, I am ready for bed,” she whispered seductively.

“You sure?” he questioned softly. “I've had plenty of time to think about this, all of the things I want to do with you, all of the ways I want to make you come.” He toyed with the belt of her robe, and when his eyes met hers, she saw the passion burning there.

For her.

“This won't be quick and easy,” he whispered, kissing her neck.

“I think I can keep up.”

That was all he needed to hear. Connor turned her in his arms and deepened the kiss, positioning her on the sofa. Moaning, she leaned back into the cushions. She was his for the asking.

His tongue met hers, exploring, even as his arm tightened around her waist. Tracy felt the weight of him shift to cover her even as his legs nudged her knees apart. He settled in, and she could feel him, hot and hard, pulsing
there,
where she ached for him.

Beautiful
, she thought as he slowed down, deliberately arousing her, taking his time as if determined to bring her to an entirely different level. Instead of the frantic passion they'd experienced before, he kissed her slowly, leisurely, his tongue stroking hers as her heart began to race.

She wanted him. Now. But even as she wiggled beneath him, trying to move him along, he was having no part of it. His lips moved to her ear, and she felt that gentle butterfly wing stroke that drove her crazy.

“That's not fair,” she said as he moved to her throat. She discovered a multitude of subtle sensations there, where his tongue licked and tasted her, her pulse pounding against his lips.

“Too bad,” he said, lifting his head and giving her a smile. “This time I want you to beg me, I want you so hot you can't stand it.”

His words made her shudder and, if anything, accomplished much of his mission. Then his fingers were at her belt, slowly undoing it while his mouth pressed against her soft skin. His lips found her nipple and she spasmed as he sucked it, his tongue flicking against the hard point.

“Please,” she whispered. Damn, she was begging already.

“No way. I'm just getting started.”

He was as good as his word. Tracy impatiently sat partway up, taking off her robe, wanting to feel his body against hers. She reached for his shirt, but he pinned her hands at her sides and continued to seduce her. She had no choice but to sink back onto the sofa and let him have his way.

And she was utterly rewarded for doing so.

As he promised, she found herself becoming more aroused than ever before in her life. His hands were on her breasts, his thumbs stroking back and forth, stimulating her, while he arched and increased the delicious pressure between her legs.

She couldn't help it. Tracy writhed beneath him, parting her legs, loving the feel of him, big and bold, pressing his zipper into her crotch. Rising up to meet him, she found herself rubbing against him, blindly engulfed by sensation.

Her pulse pounded, and her blood pooled in her hot, wet pussy. She was desperate for him, desperate to feel his fingers there, where she was on fire.

Desperate for his lips there, his tongue.

Desperate to feel him inside of her, pounding, filling her and tipping her over the brink into ecstasy…

She came before he got her panties off. Tracy shuddered as she broke beneath him, gasping in sheer pleasure as her body contracted in response to her climax.

Even then he waited for her to settle down, her eyes opening and looking at him in stunned surprise.

“God, you are so damned beautiful when you climax.”

His words shattered her, and she realized once again what she was risking. She didn't want to lose this, didn't want to lose him. Images danced through her mind, of him holding the baby, grinning at Mason and Ethan, falling asleep beside Chloe. She could feel herself falling, being dropped off a cliff into a roaring ocean below, and she had to catch herself before she drowned. But then he was shrugging out of his clothes, and she couldn't think at all.

She couldn't get out of her robe fast enough, so he had to help her, eagerly yanking it down along with her panties. Finally, she was naked in his arms.

He seemed to know her body even more intimately than she did, for instead of directly touching her, which would have been too much, he softly caressed her between her legs, cupping her even as he returned to her breasts.

The combination was devastating, and before she knew it she was feeling it once more: that pulsing, dizzying sensation that culminated there where he fingered her expertly.

“Connor!
Pleeaasee!
”

This time, he gave in. She saw him slip on a condom, and then, thank God, he was inside her, possessing her, filling her so completely that she almost came just from that.

And he didn't hold back. Tracy saw his eyes close as he thrust hard, roughly, unable to stop himself. The heat was on, in more ways than one, and she met him more than halfway, opening herself fully to him. He caught her legs, and put them over his shoulders as he pounded her, and this time she screamed.

“Connor!”

He took her lips immediately, silencing her, and dimly she remembered the kids upstairs. But she came without inhibition, and a moment later heard him growl, burying himself deep within her as he climaxed.

Time stood still as they luxuriated in the aftermath and Connor softly stroked her arm, which was wrapped around his waist.
There is not a feeling like this in the world
, Tracy thought as she slowly drifted back to awareness.

She felt soothed, fed, cared for. She who was always caring for everyone else.

The notion was stunning. Physically, she felt blissful, a woman truly satisfied. But it was the emotional part that overwhelmed her. She didn't mean to give herself so completely, and knew the cost. Tears came to her eyes as she stroked his hair.

She should have held onto her heart, should have been wiser. But it was too late. How could she help falling for this man once again?

She couldn't.

He looked up a moment later and saw her tears. Frowning, he got up on one elbow and with his other hand wiped away the moisture.

“What's the matter?”

“Nothing,” she said.
I'm scared to death that you're going to leave me, and I don't know if I can get over you again
. Instead, she managed a wan smile even as she reached for the throw on the back of the sofa and pulled it over them.

“I'm just happy.”

She could tell he didn't believe her, and that he wasn't going to let her get away with it. Yanking the soft cotton blanket over his hips, he eased away from her enough to look her in the face.

“We aren't going to make it if we can't talk to each other,” he said firmly, his eyes locking with hers. “Tell me what you're thinking.”

He was right; she knew it. But before she could respond, they heard another sound.

“Mommy?”

She looked over Connor's shoulder to see Ethan standing there, obviously puzzled.

“Yes, honey. What's the matter?” Tracy tried to sit up as Connor wrapped the blanket around her, making sure she was covered.

“I hewd noises.”

To Tracy's surprise, Connor broke into laughter.

“I'll bet you did.” He grinned at the little boy, who took his thumb out of his mouth and grinned back.

“Tell you what, sport. Can you go back upstairs like a big guy? Your mommy will come up in a minute to tuck you in.”

“I want a drink of water.”

“She'll bring that, too,” Connor promised.

Ethan nodded, and then turned and toddled up the stairs. Tracy exhaled slowly and gave him a grateful smile.

“What?” Connor glanced at her as he zipped his pants.

“You've just…surprised me once more.”
That you're doing so well with all this, that you've grown into a man that I could never have imagined. And now…I'm in way over my head.

But he just grinned and shrugged as if she was being ridiculous.

“Take care of Ethan. I'll clean up before I go.” He handed her the clothes from the floor, and then gave her a sweet good-night kiss that left her melting. When he eased from her, he grinned. “Whew. Listen, we are on the road this week. But I'll call you.”

She gave him a sincere smile. “That is the second best offer I've gotten all night.”

It was a lot.

Connor drove home, turning off the air conditioner and opening the windows of his sports car. The night air was cool, and he liked the sounds of a New Jersey summer, cicadas, he thought, singing in the trees.

The day he had spent with Tracy and her children was sobering. Not that it wasn't fun; he'd enjoyed the zoo, and especially enjoyed Tracy's obvious pleasure that he was open to seeing not only her but her family.

And he'd meant what he said to her. He understood they were a package deal. He couldn't have Tracy just by herself, unless he was willing to settle for a once-a-week date night.

He didn't want that, not for her or himself. He wanted to share his life with her, to wake up beside her, to come home knowing that she was there waiting for him.

But that meant she was waiting with four little kids.

He was stunned at how much work it was, being with them all day, both mentally and physically. When he'd woken up beside Chloe, he'd been more than a little embarrassed to know he'd fallen asleep reading her the bedtime story. Tracy had simply laughed, but it made him see what her life must be like day in and day out.

It was a far cry from what he had imagined that day at Carlos's house. Playing with the children for an hour had seemed like a cakewalk. But someone else was responsible for all the hard work, mediating fights, taking care of them when they were sick, making sure they ate, bathed, slept, and the myriad of other chores that went with raising children.

Tracy's children were good kids. Adorable. He liked all of them, even Mason, who was keeping him at an arm's length. Yeah, they fought, they got cranky and tired, and Ethan, even sick. But that's what was clearly involved with full-time parenting.

And Tracy handled it all with a grace that he admired. How the hell did she manage? And while she didn't say much about her ex, it was clear he wasn't a lot of help.

And then he thought of something else. Right before he'd fallen asleep, when he'd been in the midst of reading a story to Chloe, she had burrowed under his arm. Snuggling up against him, her blue eyes met his with a look of adoration and trust that took his breath away.

His heart had melted. That one little glance made him feel strong and weak all at the same time, and he was undone.

So it was crystal clear to him that he had a big decision ahead of him. He couldn't just “try on” this relationship and see where it went. There were too many little people involved who could get hurt.

It was just like when he decided to become a professional ballplayer. He had to dive in and give it everything he had, or forget it and go in another, easier direction.

It was a long ride home.

“It was a disaster.”

Tracy picked up a screaming Lily and put her in her swing. The baby immediately quieted and began to smile when she cranked the swing into action.

Ethan and Chloe were on the floor playing Candyland, while Mason played out back. Attaching her earbud to her cell phone, she was able to talk to Jillian hands-free.

“Everything that could go wrong did. When I think back on it…” She closed her eyes, cringing at the visions before her. “I mean, they were good at the zoo. But then Ethan got sick, and Chloe almost did, too. The baby wouldn't stop crying, and Mason was standoffish.”

“Oh, come on, it couldn't have been that bad.” Something suspiciously like laughter colored her friend's response.

“It was worse. And by the time I had gotten everything cleaned up and everyone settled, Connor had fallen asleep reading to Chloe.”

“Well, that was nice! It sounds like he tried to pitch in.”

“He did.” Chloe looked thirsty, so she brought her and Ethan sippy cups, and then checked on Mason outside. “He did his best, even though he was obviously a fish out of water. I just felt bad for the man. It was a really rough introduction to life with Tracy.”

“Okay, so things weren't exactly ideal. But he didn't go running off, he stuck it out and tried to help you. And it sounds like he did, right? So what happened later?”

“He didn't stay over. He has a road trip this week, and I didn't think it was a good idea anyway with the kids…”

“I mean the sex!” Jillian said, and Tracy could almost see the eye roll. “Did you guys have the opportunity to do the wild thing?”

“Oh, my God, I haven't heard that expression in years.”

“So did you?”

Tracy did her own eye roll. “Yes, we did. But even at that”—she walked into the other room and lowered her voice—“Ethan showed up while we were on the couch. Thankfully, we had a blanket.”

“Noooo!” This time Jillian broke into laughter. “I'm sorry,” she said between giggles. “But the visual is just too good.”

“I'm glad I amuse you,” Tracy said. “Every time I think about it I want to run screaming into the night.”

“I doubt that he is taking it as seriously,” her friend tried to reassure her. “So when does he want to see you?”

“Saturday.” She stared at her cell, tapping on his text message and rereading it in disbelief.

Just landed. Heading into practice. Thinking maybe dinner and a movie?
I can come to your house, we can stream something through Amazon and cook?
CJ.

She'd been stunned when the message popped up on her phone, certain that he would have had a change of heart after his last visit. And she honestly couldn't blame him if he did. Yet here he was, offering to do it all again, to have dinner at her place with her children.

She looked out the window once more, expecting to see pigs flying.

“This is one time I'm glad to say ‘I told you so,' ” Jillian said, and Tracy could picture her grin. “So what did he suggest?”

“Coming here. But I can't do that to him again so soon.”

“Right. Give him some time to get used to it all. I'd offer to help out, but I'm working Saturday.”

“Jeremy is supposed to take the kids,” Tracy said slowly. “If that doesn't work out, I can probably get a sitter for a couple of hours.”

A sitter that cost money
. Glancing at the stack of bills on the countertop, she sifted through them absently. Didn't she have something that was past due? She leafed through the envelopes once more, looking for that telltale pink through the cellophane window. Maybe she had paid it?

Then she remembered the pizza, and that Connor must have paid for that, along with everything at the zoo. Swearing, she shook her head in disgust.

“What's the matter?”

“I just realized that Connor must've paid for the pizza. I was upstairs when the delivery arrived.”

“Are you seriously upset that he took care of dinner? Do you know how much money a man like him has?”

“That's not the point. I don't want him thinking of me as some gold digger. I know I don't have the kind of resources he does, but I can pay for a pizza. More than that, I wanted to treat him after how good he was to us all day.”

“Sounds like you treated him real good,” Jillian said, the barely repressed giggle threatening once again. “I think that little tussle on the couch was all the payment your ballplayer needed.”

“Jillian!” Tracy pulled apart Chloe and Ethan, who were beginning to fight, and cranked the swing once more.

“Just sayin'.” Her friend choked in amusement. “Just sayin'.”

“I'm so glad you could make it tonight, Mrs. Carter.”

Tracy nodded, extending a hand. The classroom was decorated with children's drawings, colorful pictures, and a smiley face on the blackboard. And while Mason's teacher was very young, Tracy knew her to be smart and concerned.

And it was that part that had her worried. They'd met once before, when Mason had hit another child, and they had discussed his progress. She thought things were going well since, but when Mason came home with a handwritten note requesting that she come to the parent-teacher meeting, she knew there was a reason.

So she found a sitter, quieted everyone down with juice boxes and treats as she made her exit. Fortunately, Mason was engrossed in playing outside and didn't notice her departure.

“It's good to see you again, too. I appreciate you reaching out. I know Mason has been having a rough time this year.”

She managed a smile, which the teacher returned. “Yes. We've been talking in email, but thought we should chat in person. First grade is hard. It's a big transition, and as the oldest child in your family he is the trailblazer. But I'm just concerned about him.”

She indicated a couple of tests, and Tracy smiled in relief. Mason had gotten a couple of A's, and there were a few pictures of his house and the other children that had earned gold stars.

“I remember signing these,” Tracy said, indicating the tests.

“Well, here are the last two.” Laura pulled a few pieces of paper from a folder, and Tracy froze as she saw a red D-, and an F. “He seems to be having trouble focusing. Has he been doing his homework?”

“I thought he was,” Tracy said, trying to remember. “I know I signed off on some papers for him this week. And he has brought his books home. But now that you mention it, he does seem distracted.”

“I know you and your husband divorced,” Laura said, sending her a sympathetic glance. “Has anything unusual happened in the past couple of weeks?”

“His father is here and wants to see them. He's taking them out on Saturday.”

“Ah. Does Mason seem happy about that?”

“Hard to tell,” she said, remembering that the other children were excited at the prospect, while Mason seemed noncommittal. “He's old enough to remember when we were together. And he is aware that his father has a family somewhere else. I tried to talk to him about this, but he refuses.”

“It sounds to me like he has taken on the role of the man of the house,” his teacher said with a smile. “He's very protective of you and the other children.”

“Yes.” Tracy smiled fondly. “He is a big help. I try not to rely on him so much, but it's tough.”

Guilt shot through her. She had been so preoccupied with her own life, and just getting through each day, that she hadn't thought about the toll everything must be creating for her son. A million details came back to haunt her. Mason staring out the window. Mason fighting with his siblings. Mason refusing a bedtime story…

“We might want to focus on getting him involved in some sports, things where he can be successful outside the family.”

“That's a good idea. It's just hard to coordinate everything as far as transportation, getting him to the games…”

“I can help with some of that,” Laura offered. “A couple of mothers have joined together to form a carpool. They are in a similar situation as you, so you could trade off rides.”

“Perfect.” Tracy sighed. It would require some sacrifice, but Mason was definitely worth it.

“Great. Is there anything else I should know, anything that could be affecting him?”

Tracy hesitated, and then shrugged. “Well, I just started to date someone. I'm not sure how Mason feels about that, either.”

“Hmm. Has he met the man?”

“Yes.” Tracy felt herself blushing, even though she told herself that was ridiculous. “He's…an old friend. He took us all to the zoo, so Mason definitely knows him. He seems okay around Connor, just a little distant.”

“Okay. Thanks for telling me. I'll keep an eye on things. Let's keep up the communication.”

Tracy nodded.
Could Connor's presence be contributing to Mason's problems?
That seemed really unfair, given that her husband had another family. But if Mason needed more time to adjust, she would have to sacrifice what was easier for her. “I really appreciate your help,” she said as she rose to leave. “Thank you.”

“Not a problem. I like Mason a lot and want him to be happy and successful in school. Let's stay in touch.”