The Hidden Life
© 2016 Erin Noelle
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This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, is entirely coincidental.
All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this story. The author is no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any previously copyrighted material. No copyright infringement is intended.
Cover Design by Hang Le
Editing by Kayla Robichaux
Proofing by Jill Sava
Formatting by Jill Sava
The Hidden Life is a supplemental novella to the full-length novel, The Perfect Life, and is only intended to be read after finishing The Perfect Life. It provides an alternate point of view based on one of the supporting characters, Seth Andrews, and is not meant to be read as a standalone story.
If you haven’t read, The Perfect Life, you can download it
here
.
Thank you.
For Jill,
without you, none of this would happen.
“I have not fallen
in love with a
body, but merely
a soul, and that,
has made all the
difference.”
-Christopher Poindexter
Seth
I KNEW BEFORE
he did. There was no way in hell that any living, breathing, heterosexual teenaged boy could pass up the amount of pussy that Colin Cassidy did during his four years of high school. I don’t care how strong your relationship with God is, or how devoted you are to school and football. When hundreds, and I mean
hundreds,
of females ranging in age from fourteen to thirty-five throw themselves at you constantly, and you don’t give in once
— not
once
— to a moment of weakness, you’re either not human, or you’re gay.
My best friend happened to be gay. He just had no idea… well, not until I got ahold of him the night of our graduation.
But wait, I’m getting ahead of myself. First, let me give you a little background on our relationship. You see, Colin and I had pretty much been inseparable since the time his family moved in next door to mine when we were seven. Our parents clicked immediately, and the two of us, along with my little sister Effie, often spent the evenings over at each other’s house, eating dinner and playing in the backyard or basement for hours on end. We vacationed together, and even celebrated holidays as a group. I have difficulty remembering a time before the Cassidys; Colin’s just always been a fixture in my life. My best friend and partner in crime.
When he became the starting quarterback our freshman year at St. Thomas More, many people thought at first that he’d been given the job because his dad was the coach; however, it didn’t take but a couple of games of him showing off his rocket of an arm for everyone to change their tune. Before long, he was hands-down the most popular kid on campus. His captivating charm, classic good looks, and genuinely friendly personality didn’t hurt either. Every guy wanted to
be
him, and every girl wanted to
do
him.
But all Colin wanted was to play football, make good grades, and chill with his friends on the weekends. Unlike him, I succumbed to my moments of weakness. Often. Like…
real
often.
In my defense, it wasn’t exactly a level playing field. Obviously, my place as captain on the rowing crew or leadoff on the debate team didn’t have quite the same effect on chicks as Colin’s starring role on the football team, and I wasn’t above being the guy who helped the girls my friend rejected feel wanted and cherished. And there was plenty to choose from, believe you me. Some nights, a couple of them would need comforting at the same time. Those were always my favorites.
A bona fide man-slut, I flew under the radar from nasty rumors and immature gossip for the most part, thanks to Colin’s reputation and his popularity. No one dared talk shit about me, because it might get back to Mr. All-American himself. And like most normal teenagers, I took advantage of the opportunities as they presented themselves to me. Skirts with no panties were most common, and I was a sucker for the little plaid numbers the girls at our school wore as uniforms.
However, by the beginning of my senior year, I’d grown bored with having sex. Well, maybe not sex exactly, but the girls I was having it with. They were predictable, clingy, annoying. Easy. Even when I’d find one that would play hard to get, keeping me entertained with the thrill of the chase, by the time we were naked and I was thrusting my dick in either her mouth or her pussy, I’d end up hurrying through it just to get it over with and dismiss her. There was never any emotion involved. It was nothing more than… sex.
I wanted something different.
It was around that time that I started venturing out in my porn selections
—
something all seventeen-year-old guys partake in, by the way
;
don’t let them lie to you
—
and I began trying some new flavors, many that included multiple guys in them. Usually, the guys were solely focused on pleasuring the girl, but occasionally, I noticed times when their erections would rub up against each other if she had both in her mouth at the same time, and surprisingly, my dick responded.
I had suspected Colin was gay by then, but it wasn’t something we’d talked about. As a matter of fact, sex wasn’t something we ever talked about. He knew I had it. I knew he didn’t. That was that. Plus, there really wasn’t a good way of asking your best friend if he was attracted to dudes, without things being really awkward and strained afterward if he denied it, and chances were… he was going to deny it.
So over a couple of months, as I watched more and more of these videos and became more and more turned on, I came to grips with the fact I thought guys and dicks were just as sexy as chicks and pussies, and before I knew it, I was streaming gay male porn as frequently as I was straight couples. Often, the guys looked more into each other and invested in the scene than the girls did, and it was that passion
—
that connection
—
I craved.
And it didn’t take me long to realize that I craved it with Colin, and only Colin.
By our final semester of high school, my desire for him had grown into a near obsession. I thought about him constantly. I dreamed about him. I jacked off to thoughts of him. I didn’t know what to do, what to say. Our friendship meant everything to me, and I wasn’t ready to risk it if he gave me the same rejection he’d given to the clamoring hordes of females. Or worse, cut ties with me completely, because he was repulsed by my immoral, sinful thoughts.
I tried to pull back some and not hang out with him as often as we normally did, hoping a little space between us would help me focus, but he called me out right away and asked why I was avoiding him. I lied and claimed we needed to get used to not being around each other as much, since he was going to college in Michigan and I was staying in Massachusetts, but he contended that was even more reason to spend time together
— to make the best of the few months we had left.
I couldn’t argue with his logic, and truth be told, I didn’t want to stay away from him. I wanted him closer to me than he’d ever been before. I loved him like I’d never loved anyone else. I just didn’t know how to tell him.
“I have dreams where our souls
dance with silhouettes
and the only light that exists
is the reflection of the moon
across the sea.
I have dreams where it
is just you and me
and we are infinite
and we are careless
and we are brave
as the waves
crash like burning ashes