The Lariat (Finding Justus Series) (22 page)

29

“You look beautiful.” His voice glided over my nerves as his fingers touched my tattoo sending shivers down the back of my neck.

“Hi stranger,” I said sipping from a glass of chardonnay one of the many the waiters had offered me. I had put on a tight black dress that showed off my best assets, and I had caught more than one set of eyes on me that night.

Cyrus looked at the glass and raised his brow, “I’m okay. It’s only wine and this is the same glass I’ve been holding all night.”

“Good. I need you to keep your wits about you tonight.”

The San Antonio Art Society had donated one of its buildings on the Riverwalk for the seniors of Trinity University to display their pieces. Ben was at her finest. All thoughts of daemons and danger were erased for her special night. She bought a backless black dress to wear weeks ago. Watching her get dressed, I felt like a mother sending her daughter off to prom. I didn’t see the photos she prepared, but she promised she wouldn’t include the one of me in all my daemon glory and I believed her. I trusted her with my life.

Ben had been talking to different students and members of the San Antonio art world, I hadn’t seen much of her the entire evening. I had been alternating between looking at the various projects and waiting to see if Cyrus or Orrin would show up first. I didn’t know how much time I had with either one of them. I wanted them to know how much I loved both of them.

I reached up and kissed Cyrus on his surprised mouth.

“What was that for?”

Because I’ll be dead soon, I wanted to say.

“Just because.” I ran my fingers through his hair, drug my palm along the stubble of his cheek. Cyrus closed his eyes and turned to kiss the palm of my hand. “I’m kinda digging these little moments we’ve been having. I just want to look at you. I want to memorize you like this. Right now. I love the way you’re looking at me.”

My thumb glided along his bottom lip and his eyes closed. “You have come to mean so much to me. I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t shown up.”

Cyrus smiled, but he was scrutinizing me. His eyes were boring into mine and I kept all my private thoughts hidden. I had become pretty good at giving him what he wanted to hear, and hiding my true inner monologue. But he was catching on.

“You are hiding something.”

“Oh, lots of things. I can’t let you in on all my secrets yet, can I?”

“Of course you can.” His voice melted my resolve and he knew it, “I love you.”

“I love you too.” I hooked my arm through his and we walked slowly around the room. I had given Cyrus the final rewrites on my thesis before we left for the gallery. He read it quickly, but said nothing.

“Well?” I asked. I was standing over the desk in his office at Trinity’s Liberal Arts building. Cyrus was leaning back in his chair, thumbing through the final copy of my thesis.

“Well what?”

“I’ve rewritten that thing so many times. I know more about British lit than anyone at Trinity. That paper is perfect.”

He just smiled, “Then why do you need my approval?”

My mouth hung open, “but you said…”

“I said I wanted your best.”

“Well you have it. It couldn’t be more perfect if you gave me another month to finish it.”

“Good. That’s all I’ve been waiting for.”

I was confused, “I thought turning in my thesis and officially being done with grad school would be, I don’t know, bigger?”

His blue eyes sparkled. He was enjoying my turmoil, “What did you expect?”

“I don’t know. Just more.”

He had pulled me to him and we shared the hottest kiss yet. It would have probably led somewhere if we weren’t in an office that he shared with a sociology professor.

It was a good afternoon.

“Okay, you two. That’s enough.” Ava wiggled in between us. She was wearing her usual jeans and t-shirt. She wasn’t about to let her clothes get in the way of her daemon hunting.

“Where are Kevin and James?” Cyrus asked her.

She pointed across the room and he headed away from the two of us. “I won’t be far,” he said to me. I shooed him away and smiled, which was getting harder and harder to do since I had my own plan now.

“Have you seen Ben’s photos yet?”

“Not tonight. But I’ve seen them all before. I figured I’d just come here to support her.”

“I think you should go see them. You know, they look a little different in a frame, on a wall. It’s special, you know?”

“Okay,” I put down my glass. “Lead the way.”

We wandered through the rough brick structure. There were so many people lining the wall, looking at the different pictures, sculptures and paintings. Ava led me into the back room farthest from the entrance.

“No wonder I haven’t seen her. I didn’t even know anything was back here. I’ve been hanging in the front room. The closest one to the exit.”

“Yeah, I noticed. She’s over there.”

Ben finally caught sight of us and walked over. There was a bit of panic she was trying to hide when she saw us.

“What’s wrong with her?” I asked Ava.

“I don’t know. Her aura just shot to an intense violet. It’s so pretty with her outfit, but that probably means something’s up.”

“Like what?”             

“Violet is more of a nervous aura color.”

“Well, it is her big night. I can see why she would be nervous.”

“No it’s something else.” But that’s all we could say before Ben reached us.

Bennet looked at me, “Don’t be mad.”

She was always making me laugh, “Why would I be mad?”

Ben’s eyes shifted to Ava, and Ava’s face fell, “Ben, you didn’t tell her?”

“Tell me what?” I asked.

“No. I didn’t. I didn’t think it would be a big deal.”

Ava scoffed, “Oh, it’ll be a big deal. Especially now. When Layla has to find out like this.”

“What are ya’ll talking about?” I wasn’t following them at all.

Ava put up her hand in front of Ben’s face and grabbed my arm. She pulled my arm and I almost stumbled in my high heels. She led me to the back wall where I finally found Bennet’s black and white photos of the elevator shaft inside the
Montrose
.

There were four of them each from a higher perspective than the previous one. A shudder erupted in my shoulders as I remembered that horrible day. I knew we never should have gone in there. We never should have tempted fate. Would we still be in the same position if I had told Ben no, if I had forbidden her from going? She would probably have gone by herself and would be dead by now.

She really was an amazing photographer. I was so proud of her anyway, at least I was until I saw that I was her last photo. It was like looking into a mirror and realizing in horror I was standing in a room full of people without a stitch of clothing on. It was me. My wings, my face, my fire on display for the world to see. It was beautiful, just like the group beside me whispered to one another.

I shrunk back unable to see myself that way, “Ben, you promised. What the hell?”

She came up behind me wringing her hands together, “I know. I know I promised, but it was just so good. Layla, just look at you. Look at the light, and your face, even the angle. Shots like this don’t happen by accident. I
had
to use it.”

“I’m sure you did. I worried you would do something like this. I can’t believe you.” My daemon began to rise. It didn’t like being on display.

I didn’t want to be mad at her, but my daemon needed an outlet, and judging by the tilt of her chin, Ben was ready for a fight too.

But I didn’t want one of Ben’s last memories of me to be an ugly one. This was her night. Her photo. And it was only a photo. No one knew that what they were looking at was a human girl in possession of both a daemonic and angelic soul warring within her. It would be fine. I just needed to leave. I couldn’t be in the same room with that picture.

I backed away, feeling all eyes on me now, and it wasn’t the dress. “I need to go get some air.”

“Of
course
! Leave. Everything is always about
you.
” Ben turned to walk away, but I grabbed her arm.

“I’m not mad, Ben. Just tell me why.” My voice got too high and manic. I looked in her eyes for a moment too long.

She pulled free and tried to move through the gathered audience. “Of course you’re not mad. Not perfect, brilliant, gorgeous, resilient Layla Justus.”

My jaw dropped and my voice lowered, “Ben, you have no idea what you’re talking about. You don’t know anything about me.”

“Are you sure about that? You are so blinded by your own glory you can’t see anyone else around you. Who do you think stood beside you, the new girl, when everyone called you
Easy Lay
? It was me that listened to you cry about how Orrin broke your heart, when all I wanted to do was scream
I told you so
.”

Her eyes began to tear up. She was unleashing three years of anger on me. Anger that she had been nursing, holding tight to and waiting for this moment to unleash.

Bennet kept going, “I cleaned you up so many times while you stumbled in drunk. I worked my ass off to graduate, to keep my GPA up, but not you. Only now I know how you did it all. You didn’t work for anything. You’re a liar and a cheater.”

My eyes darted around the room. Most of the on-lookers had heard her words and their faces were unapproving.

But Ben had exposed her own raw wound, and now I wanted nothing more than to pour salt in it. “Ben, you’re wrong. You have no idea what you’re talking about, as usual. I have watched over you for years.”

She crossed her arms and scoffed, “Oh yeah, and how do you think you did that when you were unconscious?”

“You haven’t worked for anything in your adult life. You’ve just tried to ruin it all. You have perfect grades, perfect looks, a perfect family, and now a perfect man chasing after you. And you don’t deserve any of it. You are a selfish, two-timing liar, who doesn’t know how to be a real friend. You really wanna know what I saw when I looked at Samael that night?”

“Ben, shut up.” I growled, my voice darkening.

“I saw you,” she said and walked away.

  No one knew what she was talking about, but every understood her meaning. The crowd began to turn their backs to me and my daemon wanted to kill them all. I was angry and embarrassed by what Ben had said, but there was something else there. I had been shamed by the truth and my daemon was pissed.

I had to get out of here before people knew for sure it was me in Ben’s impressive photo. My heart squeezed and my hands shook. I felt like I was having a panic attack. I wasn’t the protector I thought I was. I wasn’t a hero. I was a failure.

Ben’s outburst was proof of what I had been feelings for so long. It wasn’t just the other grad students in my class who thought I was worthless. It was Ben too. My best friend. How could I have been so blind for so long? I never thought I was truly an egocentric person until Ben had opened my eyes to the truth.

“Don’t go anywhere,” Ava said. “I’ll go find Cyrus.”

“No.” I turned and pulled her along with me, whispering, “I don’t want him to see me like this.”

“He probably already heard what Ben said, Layla. Everyone else did.” Ava scanned the crowd, while I focused on the front door.

“You’re not helping. I just want to get out of here before I hurt someone. Before I lose it and go after Ben. Why didn’t she ever say anything?”

Ava looked baffled, “I never knew she felt that way. She never said anything like that to me before. But I didn’t know about your drinking. Why didn’t you ever tell me? Or your dad? You never said anything to Orrin either. You know you could have come to any of us.”

“I don’t know. I didn’t want to worry anyone. Including Ben. I didn’t know I had become such a burden to her. I never imagined…”

We moved to stand by the front door. I leaned against the window seeking anything to cool my raging temper. My insides felt torn to shreds with the effort of caging my daemon.

Ava came to stand in front of me. “I know what you’re feeling. I do. I’ve a different perspective on your birthright. Having my own ability, I can fully relate when you said it was a curse. I feel like that too. But I also understand why she is so upset. This…
business
,” she gestured into the air, “of ours is a lot to take in. Just give her some time. Let her have her night and you two can talk tomorrow.”

“You’re right. I know you’re right. I need to apologize. I don’t want to lose her over this. I don’t have a lot of people I’m close to.”

“I know.” She hugged me, “We’re family. All of us. We’ll stick together. You’ll see.”

I hoped she was right. I felt a tiny bit better, but I still needed out of this scene. “Let’s go for a walk.”

“Are you serious?” Ava face fell as I held the door open for her. When she didn’t move I walked through it and left her standing there.