The Lariat (Finding Justus Series) (25 page)

I can’t kill them
.
I can’t kill anything.

That next realization hit me. No power within me would help me kill. I couldn’t do it. With every daemon I pushed back from my father and Kevin another two descended. My fire bubbled up again and left my body forming a circle around them and held. A wall of flames eight feet high slowed the Vagabonds down. I calmed down only a fraction, remembering I could only protect, not attack.

Look for the simple solution. Put your faith where it belongs. Protect. Don’t attack.

Protect.

“You cannot protect them all. It’s a big world, and right now I have opened a portal letting out my daemon hoards to lay waste to all of humanity. You thought it was Lillith you needed to worry about. You believed that your prophecy was the only thing that would bring the destruction of this world. But you always forgot about one thing.”

I hovered in the air and watched as he began to rise, floating on his own evil, selfish, black ego.

“I am destruction. I am pain. And I am the only fate worse than death.” He threw his arms out and more black fog dripped from his dangling robes and the tips of his fingers and his now empty eye sockets. His face, which was so compelling only moments ago, slid into a ghastly display of his true nature.

His attention was trained on me as he drew closer and closer. He didn’t notice anything around him any longer, he was in full theatrical mode, putting on a mighty display.

“Your two friends are gone. I have their souls even now.”

Wait. Please follow me. Don’t fight me. Not now when I finally know what to do.
I told my daemon. It wanted to attack Samael, but he would only get pleasure from his pain and my folly. That wasn’t the way. We had to play along.

“You’re lying,” I let my eyes glaze over with tears. “My mother saved them. She wouldn’t let you take them without a fight.”

“I have her too,” He laughed and held up his hands. He held a scene in the palms of his pale hands of my mother, Bennet and Ava screaming as they were being eaten alive by his Vagabonds. I shut my eyes, telling myself it was a lie.

Oh God, please be a lie.

I looked back to my father and Kevin who were still reasonably safe within my circle of fire.

“Let them go.”

“No. You had your chance. I needed my Porter, but you took him from his father. You took him from me.”

“He still does his job. I helped him remember. You haven’t lost anything.”

Samael shook his head, “He has stepped away from me. Never before have I had a Porter choose a mortal life over the immortality I could provide. It is because of you I have lost my most powerful weapon. So now you are out of options. And like I told you before, I will have you or I will have him. In the end there is no difference.”

That damned cryptic message.

He had sent a Vagabond with those words so long ago, I almost forgot about them. I now understood their meaning perfectly.

“But you just opened a portal. You don’t even need Orrin.”

“Unfortunately, I do. And you took him from me. If I couldn’t get him back, then I chose to come after you. If I could control you, then I can control him.”

I needed to keep him talking, didn’t I? The moment would come. I would feel it, I would know. My surrender. My defeat. My death would end all of this. I could beat him and make the world safe again.

“
You have me
.”

Samael flashed to hover only a breath in front of me. My heart shuddered, my wings faltered, but I held my ground. He was so close I could see the shiny beetles crawling behind the holes where his eyes and nose should have been. His breath smelled of sulphur.

“Have you?” He stroked my face his black eye sockets darkening further with a strange desire, “Not yet. But I will.”

Samael grunted and grabbed my neck. His face changed.
Pain.
His body slid onto mine trying to remain upright. I pulled at his hands, like a lariat, around my neck, tightening with my struggles. His long, sharp bony fingers dug into my flesh, breaking through my skin and into my throat and growing, winding tighter and tighter.

Cyrus swooped down and hovered a few feet behind me. Surely he couldn’t see what was happening or he would have attacked again. And I couldn’t have said anything if I wanted to. He had scratches on his face, wings and several pieces of torn skin on his torso. He held tightly to his sword as it dripped black bile from the tip.

“Now you’ll wear my mark for all eternity, just as I wear yours.” He breathed heavily, “Now release her, and back to Hell with you, daemon.”

Samael’s eyes were wide. He was incredulous, angry. By Samael’s slack body, I could tell he was wounded, but not dead, Evil could never die, but it could be sent back to Hell. I only needed to hang on a little longer.

“You did this,” His eyes were trained on me.

I didn’t reply. I couldn’t. Better he think it was all my plan than Cyrus’.

Samael began to fall taking me with him. His face changed and before I knew what he was doing he clamped his teeth onto the torn skin where his hand used to be. A bright light emanated from gouges in my neck, too bright for even my eyes. My skin had been torn away and my blood flowed into his cavernous mouth. If he kept it up, he might regain his strength by stealing mine.

Cyrus advanced, his sword held high, but it was only a moment and Samael lifted his head and stopped Cyrus before he could attack again. Samael held him, immobile. His human features returned and so did his strength. “Even better than yours, Angel.”

I tried to pull free, tearing my skin, picturing him on fire was hopeless. I imagined the bony manacles of his fingers breaking away, but it didn’t happen. I could only see that lariat that haunted my dreams, the rope that grew tighter around my neck with even the smallest of struggles.

Why couldn’t I even help myself? Where was my strength? How could I let him do this to me? He just put his head back down and kept drinking the life blood created to protect.

This is what he meant when he said he would have me.

Samael knew what I did not. He had been smarter even than Lillith and me- but not Orias. The words Orias had shared with me all fit together now. It was the war within me that would be my victory or my defeat, but either way it would be my death.

If I didn’t give in to my inner darkness, if I didn’t let my daemon soul free, Samael would drain the life from me. My other choice was to give in to my daemon, to rise up and kill Samael. With my daemon free, there would be nothing left of my humanity. The Beacon would be destroyed and it would be Lillith who would then take her place on the throne of Hell and lay waste to all the world.

It was my choice. My life or theirs. But either way, I was dead. I knew which path I would choose, and it was now or never.

The world began to spin and my vision began to blur. A strange peace flowed through me as I embraced my future and the future of this world I was bound to protect. My daemon’s voice began to lessen as I pushed it down and locked it into the deepest cavern of my body. I could hear screaming. I could see Cyrus only feet away, frozen and incapable of helping me- the love of his life. Fading away.

I’m sorry. I know how long you waited. It had to be this way
.

This was my surrender. Samael thought he was killing me, stealing my soul along with my life, but it would never be his to claim. Cyrus’ eyes, the brightest heavenly blue, understood and his struggles increased. He yelled down below and my eyes drifted to someone below.

Orrin had returned too. I could see him, but he wasn’t looking at me. He was standing at the base of the
Montrose
, arms stretched wide. And as if they had no will of their own, the daemons that poured out from the broken windows of the building now were sucked back into it. This is why Samael needed Orrin. Although Samael could open a small portal, he only piggybacked on Orrin’s power, he was not the Porter. He could not command daemons like this. Orrin had the free will that Samael never could possess. He craved it. And he thought if he could take Orrin’s, then he could use it- just as he thought he was taking mine.

The building began to crack, but Samael didn’t notice, his whole attention was focused on draining me dry. His fingers that wound through the flesh on my wrists grew, sinking in to my stomach. I could feel them winding their way through my insides and out again. They moved like snakes pulling me close to him and closer to death.

Samael didn’t hear Cyrus’ screams. He didn’t hear the deafening cries as his own Vagabonds were pulled through the portal. He didn’t even feel the boom that ran through us all as the
Montrose
began to fall, the bottom first, and then the top leaning over. Orrin moved back ripping the portal wider and wider still, trying to send the entire building through.

It pulled me too and I let it. With the last ounce of my strength I began to fall. I knew my body had to make it through. I knew what awaited souls down there and couldn’t do that to myself. If I could just wait a few more seconds. If I could just keep his attention trained on me until the last moment, my soul would be free. My human soul. The part of me that only God owned.

I would miss them, but they would be safe. Orrin and Cyrus would never be the same. I will take part of their souls with me when I die, but there was no other choice. I would always be grateful for the time I shared with them, but no amount of time would ever be enough. I just hoped they felt secure in the knowledge that I did this for them. I did this for us. And I did it to right a wrong, to change the piece of fate that tied my life to the destruction of all man. Only one being had that power. And with my final breath I was giving it back and saying a prayer of thanks for the love in my life.

I had done everything I could. I closed my eyes and let go of my last breath.

32

“What are they doing?” I looked onto the strange scene curiously.

I was standing on the pavement littered with debris. The air was thick with dust from the fallen building. The large blonde one sat on his knees alongside the rubble. Another one with dark hair stood beside him breathing heavily clenching his fists. An older man was openly weeping, holding onto his friend’s shoulders.

“All of them will grieve. Life will go on. As it was meant to be.” The very pretty female angel and two other taller angels stood beside me. She put her hand on my shoulder when I started to cry.

“I don’t want to leave them. I’m not ready.” I didn’t know who they were, but I knew something terrible had happened here. I wanted to go to them and tell them everything was going to be okay. I wanted to hold them close. They were each in so much pain.

“Can I at least talk to them?” I begged.

She only shook her head. “I know you don’t understand this, but there is always a judgement involved when a soul ascends, and that is what awaits you.”

“You mean because I died?” I felt it to be true. I felt the deep understanding that it was me who was buried beneath those tall piles of bricks.

She nodded again. “Only part of you died here today. Your human soul is very much alive and your time on Earth is not done yet.”

“What does that mean?” My eyes went round.

She didn’t explain further. All three of them turned and walked away. I was torn between staying with these grieving people and following the elusive angels. She looked over her shoulder.
Come
, I heard the word in my head.

I was so confused by the scene in front of me. I knew all of those people, but couldn’t recall their names or anything about them. I wracked my brain trying to come up with my own, but it was empty. The life I had just left had been completely erased from my memory. So I turned from it, feeling a stirring where my beating heart should have been. I was scared. I had never felt more alone, when I heard a soothing male voice, not the angels, ring through my mind.

You need to put your faith where it belongs.

My faith.

My faith.

My faith in myself. Faith in who?

“Your faith in the Lord, Layla.” The angel said to me when I faltered. She held her hand out to me and all three waited. They looked at me expectantly. They were the only ones left who could see me. He had sent them here to help me. I had work left to do. His work.

I said goodbye to the people I knew loved me more than life itself, took her hand and walked into the unknown.

EPILOGUE

I stepped out of the car and faced my new life in Providence, Rhode Island. I wasn’t nearly as excited as my father, but I was trying. I plastered on my happy face for most of the long car ride.

402 Campbell Lane.

I looked at the faded numbers on the front of our new house. Calling it quaint would have been too nice, and calling it new was just a lie. The yard was patchy, but the large imposing oak tree was the only redeeming quality. The front walkway was littered with cracks. After seeing the state of the house’s façade, I worried about what we would find on the other side of that front door. But what could I do? It was my senior year, and my dad got offered a teaching position at Providence College. I had no choice but to go with him whether I wanted to or not. Only one more year until I left for college, so this move was kind of like leaving home, just a year earlier.

My shoulders sagged, it was
my senior year
. Only the most important year in my whole high school career. But it wasn’t like I was bitter or anything.

I opened the door and stepped out of the SUV, happy face firmly back in place. I grabbed my backpack and slung it over my shoulder. I had stowed a few boxes and our suitcases in the back of the car, knowing the moving truck would not be arriving until later. I walked around the back of the car and opened it up. My dad was still searching through the cup holders and cracks in the seat looking for the key to the front door that Dean had mailed him earlier this month.

I grabbed my suitcase and one other box.

“A big man’s load is a lazy man’s load,” I heard my father say as he pocketed the key and made his way around to help me.

“I got it all,” I mumbled, carrying everything of mine in from the car.

I huffed up the first, then second step, and my shoe caught on a large crack stepping up to the third, I could see myself going down, I could hear the words my father just spouted. With both of my arms full I couldn’t even brace myself for the hard landing. My shin took the brunt of the fall. I dropped the suitcase, my box of books spilled out, and I let loose a nasty curse I would have never normally said in front of my dad.

“Are you okay?” The I-told-you-so went unsaid, but I could hear it in his tone.

I rolled onto my side and sat up. My shin was a bloody mess. “That’ll be pretty for school. It’ll leave a nasty scar too. Great.”

“Just stay right there. I’ll take this stuff inside and see what’s in there in the way of a rag, or tourniquet…or surgical instrument for a hasty amputation..”

I barely smiled looking at my leg, “Ha, ha.”

From my view on the step, the neighborhood was pretty. A girl, about my age, with a bright pink stripe in her hair was ignoring her mother and hastily making her way to her beat-up little car in the driveway. She caught my eye, smiled a little, and waved. She turned and spoke harshly to her mother, but they both smiled, hugged, and then the girl drove off. I guessed there were all kinds of family dynamics. I hoped I could get to know my new neighbor. It would be nice to have a friend living right across the street from me.

I sighed, missing my mother. I would have given anything to have mine with me. She wouldn’t be coming up for another few weeks since she felt the need to stay in Alexandria and finish up some closing paperwork for her clients. She was a real estate agent and didn’t think it was ethical to leave her clients hanging with the sale not finalized. My father and I managed, but we didn’t function well without her.

Dad came back out and brought lukewarm soda and a ragged kitchen towel. I pressed the towel to my leg.

“Where did you get this?” I asked referring to the drink.

“Can you believe there is a big gift basket full of drinks and snacks in there on the counter? The Dean must have brought it by and put it in there for us.”

“Wow, the college sent you a welcome basket?”

“Nope,” He handed me a small white card and sipped his own drink. I turned it over and read the words.

Take care of each other. I’ll see you in a week. Love, Mom.

I smiled, “Aww, that’s perfect. I call shotgun if there’s any kettle corn in there.”

“Okay,” He laughed and took out his phone to make a quick call to mom, telling her we were here and thanks for the snacks. I rolled my eyes at the thought of my parents. So in love. So codependent. So sweet.

Gag me!

He hung up and finished his drink.

“Hey, you see that?” he was pointing to the old restored jeep that was sitting in the driveway of our new house.

I took a better look now that my shin wasn’t hurting as much. It was actually very cool. Someone had taken a lot of care to fix up that old jeep, painting it a happy turquoise with a white rag top. It practically called out to me. I was impressed. It was exactly the kind of car I wanted to get before I left for college.

I tried to play it off, “I guess you’ll have to tell the neighbors not to park their car here anymore.”

“Nah. That’s not the neighbor’s car. I found it online and figured you needed something to drive to school in.”

It took a long time for me to fully understand his words and goofy smile, as it crept further and further up his face. He shook his head, and I was so afraid. I didn’t dare to blink or breathe, thinking this moment might vanish from existence.

“It’s yours. Your mother wanted to wait until she got here, but I knew that wouldn’t work. I wanted to be the one to give it to you.”

I screamed and jumped up, all depressing thoughts of the house, my knee, my impending senior year were gone. I had a car.
A car.
He pulled out his cell phone and took pictures to send to mom of me fawning all over my first car. I sat in the front seat of my jeep and turned the key.

“Can we take it out?”

“Of course, but we need to wait until later tonight. We still have to wait for the movers.”

He was right. I added the key to my keychain, along with the new house key he had given me. It was time to get down to business, the true business at hand. We had to go look through the house and unload the car. I wanted to dance. I wanted to cry. Instead I took a few selfies with my phone to post later and went to pick up the spilled contents of my box. My bloody shin, all but forgotten, I had to hurry- my jeep was waiting for me.

This move is looking up.

But there was something else. I stood in the yard, keys in hand, leg bloody, and I couldn’t bring myself to go inside yet. There was something outside I could feel it.

Someone outside.

My heart beat funny in my chest. It felt tight, pulled, as if some external force was pulling on it, begging me to wait. Just wait and see. But for what?

I stood there for a moment holding my breath, as if something bigger, even bigger than the car was about to appear any moment. I had never felt anything akin to the electricity that was flowing through me at that moment. I couldn’t tell if it was excitement or fear, I just knew my heart was about to beat a hole through me as if it was trying to free itself and run away.

And then I saw him and I knew.

He was making his way up the sidewalk still some yards away. His eyes hit mine and matched my stare. I let out my breath and my knees almost buckled. Those intense blue eyes. I had seen them before, I was sure of it. I had stared into them, up at them before. But when? His expression mirrored my own and then turned to a cocky, enchanting smile.

He wore khaki pants and a loose grey shirt and a set of aviator sunglasses perched on his head.  A long chain dangled around his neck with a ring dangling next to his heart.

That ring. I’ve seen it before
.

Whoever he was, I felt a burning need to touch him. I felt as sure of him as I had known my own name- he was mine, he was everything and he belonged to me. He would be the man I would spend the rest of my life with. I had never believed in love at first sight until I saw him.

His eyes left mine and he had a genuine smile for my father.

“James?” he called out, his voice evoking some deep pain and longing within me.

My father smiled back, surprised. He put the boxes down quickly and walked over to this charming and beautiful man. The two men shook hands and then slapped each other on the back. Whoever he was, they seemed to be old acquaintances, which was odd because he was definitely younger than my dad, but older than me.

Dad motioned me over to meet friend. Who was I to be rude? I walked, trying not to look too eager, but I felt my smile a bit too wide. I couldn’t take my eyes off him so I prayed not to trip over any more cracks on the craggy terrain.

“Layla, before we start unpacking. I want you to meet someone.”

As if I needed an invitation. My father was introducing us, I could hear him speaking, I’m sure he said the man’s name, but I didn’t catch it. I was staring into this stranger’s eyes for the first time, for the millionth time.

I held on, while the spark I felt earlier flowed through both our hands. My heart found its peaceful rhythm again with the touch of his skin on mine.

He could feel it, and he knew I could feel it too.  Suddenly we had a secret that was all our own, but until now I had only known a piece of it. And after what felt like forever, he had finally arrived to share the rest.

I finally found you,
His eyes seemed to say.

How do I know you?
Was the only message mine could convey.

His eyebrow raised slightly, daring me to respond, and it was a challenge I would gladly accept.

He was a devil. He was an angel. He was my perfect match.