The New Black Lace Book of Women's Sexual Fantasies (27 page)

Louise, age 45
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
College degree
Journalist
Northwest England, UK

From the earliest times (aged ten or eleven) I was drawn to
bondage and submission. I have no idea where it came from.
My background was pretty normal/average and these fantasies
arrived out of the blue. At seventeen, I came across
The Story
of O
, which encapsulated my fantasies completely and has
remained the basis for everything since then. I fought my
desires for a long time and I was 28 before I finally plucked up
the courage to accept my sexuality.

My fantasies revolve entirely around BDSM and being used
as a sex slave. My lover takes me to a country house one night.
On arrival, we are met by the lady of the house and I discover
it is a high-class swingers club. I am taken to an anteroom
where I'm ordered to strip except for my stockings and heels.
My lover laces a skin-tight leather hood on my head, and adds
leather wrist and ankle cu-s. I am nervous but excited. He
leads me out of the anteroom, down corridors – I can hear
voices all around me, some commenting on me and wondering
who the woman in the hood is. We arrive in another room. He
tells me to sit on the bed. I can tell it is large and has satin
sheets. He stands very close to me and speaks into my ear
loudly (so I can hear through the leather) – he is going to sell
me that night to anyone who wants to fuck me. I will not see
any of my 'customers'. I sit nervously, heart pounding. Almost
immediately, I hear the door open and people coming in.
Someone pinches my nipples hard and tells me I have nice tits.
I can't hear much though. There are hands touching my body.
I am pushed back on the bed and a man climbs on top of me.
His hard cock goes straight in, I am so wet. Someone turns my
head and forces his large, hard cock into my mouth through
the mouth hole of the hood. I start to suck him. He shoots into
my mouth at the same time as the other man spunks into my
cunt. Almost immediately, I am turned over and made to kneel.
The cuffs on my wrists and ankles are fastened to the bed and
now I'm completely trapped. I feel lube being smeared into my
arsehole and then I am violated there too. Once again my
mouth is not spared.

The evening continues in this way – one man after another,
sometimes several at the same time, each using me as they
want. My lover allows me little breaks occasionally, during
which he twists my nipples and spanks me hard or canes me
and lets me know how pleased he is with me. I am grateful
for his touch and knowing that he's there watching over me.
Then the fucking and sucking resumes. I lose track of time. It's
pitch-dark inside the hood and hot – the hood is so tight, and
I revel in its anonymity. At one point I am made to sit astride
a huge cock while another man enters my arse and yet another
my mouth. Even my hands are not spared as two more
thrusting erections insist on being wanked. Every hole is used
relentlessly, with barely any time in between to recover from
each violation. I am tiring and sweating but there is no let-up.
How many men have had me? I cannot tell anymore. On the
next break, I plead with my lover for mercy but am rewarded
only with another hard caning that just makes me even wetter.
My cunt juices and the wads of anonymous spunk dribble out
of my cunt and arse and run down my legs. My stockings are
damp and sticky. I have swallowed at least twenty mouthfuls
of come.

Finally, I feel my lover's hands on me, gently caressing me
and telling me I have been a good girl. Now it is his turn. He
removes the cu-s from my wrists and ankles but leaves the
hood on. I feel soft cotton rope on my body as he expertly
ties me into Japanese bondage that forces my tender tits into
a tight thrust-upwards position. My ankles are tied to my
thighs, leaving me wide open, and I am helpless. He inserts
a dildo gag into my mouth and now I am silenced too. He
slaps my breasts hard, twists the nipples yet again, then puts
clover clamps on them. He inserts his fingers into my cunt.
I am so wet and open, he can get three in easily. Then he
works in another finger. He pushes his fingers in and out,
fucking me with his hand. Then I feel his thumb start to slide
in too. Slowly, slowly, he works his entire hand into me until
I am impaled on his fist. I am longing to come as that has
been denied me all night. And now I'm focused entirely on
his fist in my cunt and its slow but unrelenting movement
inside me. Despite all the cocks I have taken, this is the first
time tonight I have felt truly filled up and this is the only
one that matters as it is him. He works his hand until I am
desperate for release. I try to tell him I want to come but I'm
muffled by the gag. Suddenly, I feel a buzzing sensation on
my aching clit – a vibrator. It takes very little to tip me over
the edge and I spasm violently around his fist as I scream
into the gag. My orgasm ends and another one starts as he
holds the vibrator hard against me. I come again, then starts
a third, then a fourth orgasm. On the fifth one, I piss myself
as I come hard for the last time. I lie back exhausted in my
own wetness as my lover gently slips his fist out of my shattered
cunt. He unties me and holds me tight, telling me he
loves me. Then he leads me out of the bedroom, still wearing
the hood, and back to the anteroom. There he dresses me,
and leads me out of the club. Only when we are back in the
car does he finally remove the hood. As we drive off, he tells
me I was used by more than sixty men and that I earned a
lot of money – he gives me the wad of cash and tells me
that next time he is going to give me away rather than
pimp me.

Name withheld, age 24
Heterosexual
Live-in relationship/marriage
No children
Student/Part-time Retail
Missouri, USA

I don't even know how long I've been masturbating, fantasising,
and having orgasms, but it's been at least since I was
five. When I was fairly young (probably eight or nine), I'd think
about getting spanked while I rubbed myself against a pillow.
I'd think a lot about touching other girls and women. I didn't
think about intercourse, because the concept seemed so foreign.
All I knew of sex was masturbation and nudity. And just a
little bit of pain. Every time I saw coercion or BDSM on TV or
in movies, I'd always be turned on by the imagery. We might
not think about it anymore, but, when I was a kid, I managed
to see lots of instances of rough and kinky sex. There are allusions
to it on TV, certainly, and it pops up in movies. I wasn't
a sheltered kid, so I got to see a lot of really great movies with
some very adult themes. I'd get angry at myself, but rape scenes
in movies often turned me on.

Titanic
came out just as my sexuality was blooming, and
that movie really moistened my young teen panties. The idea
that anyone could find me beautiful, so beautiful that I had
to be drawn nude, was irresistible. I grew up as the fat kid,
and never imagined that anyone would find my body
attract ive or desirable. The idea of sex so saturated with
romance was very appealing. Oh, you're shaking as you fuck
me in this buggy-like car? I'll hold you. I'll soothe you, I would
fantasise.

Every time I see a woman having an orgasm in mainstream
media (which, by the way, doesn't happen nearly enough), I
am so turned on. Meg Ryan has a fake orgasm in
When Harry
Met Sally
, and I get wet. Porn where the focus is female pleasure
turns me on, but this can be hard to find. That's why I really
enjoy squirters because, well, she's probably not faking. Men
going down on women, either in mainstream media or porn,
really turns me on. I more fully enjoy porn when I know that
the woman is having a good time.

It seems like, aside from those teen hormone fantasies
involving Johnny Depp or Leonardo DiCaprio sweeping me
away and fucking me on a private beach, I've always seemed
to have kinky fantasies, especially spanking. Pornography and
erotica have definitely pushed the boundary of my fantasy
world. In my teens I might have imagined close-ups of genitals
while fucking. When I first began seeing porn in college, it was
as if the fantasy were fulfilled. I knew what it looked like. Of
course, I still fantasise about a lot of things that you can regularly
see in porn, like anal. Erotica, especially, has opened up
my fantasy world to unusual and kinky things – things I would
never fantasise about acting on or being involved with, but
what I still find hot is slavery, heavy BDSM, incest, mind control,
group sex and bukkake.

I'm so turned on when my husband cleans the house, fixes
the car, or runs errands. I just want to drop to my knees and
suck his balls dry, which gets me very wet. I'm turned on when
I get touched on certain areas of my body, when my husband
tells me I'm beautiful, and listens to what I have to say. I'm
turned on when our friends talk about their sex lives. It's almost
like a sex urge for competition's sake. I'm turned on by porn
that's either about female pleasure or degradation, like when
a man is forceful and dominant, either in or out of a BDSM
setting . . . but, you know, in a sexy way.

Often I fantasise in 'themes'. I have dominance themes, where
I imagine someone, usually my husband, controlling me. Sometimes
it's spanking, sometimes it's humiliation, sometimes it's
bondage. I have a dirty motel room fantasy theme where
anything goes, but often with women involved. I have a romance
theme where I imagine those emotionally satisfying sexual
moments in my life where I felt closeness and love, where the
sex is tender and intimate. I have rape fantasies where men tie
me up, use a knife to cut off my clothes, fuck me hard (until I
come, natch), then come on my face, hair or tits.

I'm married and we're monogamous and, unfortunately,
I'm the kinky one in the relationship. My husband will
indulge some of my fantasies, but we don't do it very often,
usually on special occasions. I'm not saying I mind. I wouldn't
want kinky sex all the time, just once or twice a month,
something to fantasise about later. This is rather common
for me, fantasising about the things I've done already. We've
gone so far as to do light bondage, a little bit of spanking, a
little bit of name-calling. I don't know that I've ever told him
that my fantasies run deeper than that, but I've always
assumed he knows that they are more intense. It's an
unspoken rule that he acknowledges my kinks and will occasionally
indulge me, but isn't interested himself, other than
for my own pleasure. We've discussed BDSM issues, and I've
explained concepts to him before. We've discussed, in a broad
sense, restraints, gags, safe words, nipple clamps, and many
other things that we haven't done. I'd like very much to act
on these fantasies, but realise I'll probably get the same
reaction: 'Well, maybe for your birthday', or 'I don't want to
do that, so how about I just tie you up?' That's why I don't
discuss them in detail, because of the rejection I might face.
It's not as if my sex life is otherwise unfulfilling, I'd just like
to have a little more kink.

In my favourite fantasy there's a man at my house, and he's
angry. I've done something rather distasteful, the details of
what aren't important, and he wants to punish me. He will,
however, reserve the bulk of his cruelty for when we are both
naked. If we were clothed, my feminist sensibilities wouldn't
put up with his bullshit. When I'm naked, though, his anger
is arousing.

He asks me to undress, though he, of course, stays clothed.
He leers at my naked body, eyeing me like a piece of meat. I'm
supposed to bend over his lap, which I do, and he gives my ass
many hard swats. It stings and, each time he slaps, I hear a
hard treble 'clap'. He waits just long enough for the sting to
subside a little, then swats my ass just a little harder. He's
spanking me and, while he does it, reminds me how badly I've
misbehaved, and reminds me of what a slut I am. No fantasy
would be complete without the demeaning names: bitch, slut,
whore.

He makes me crawl around on my hands and knees while
he makes quick work of shedding his clothes. I crawl in front
of him; he grabs me by the back of the head and fucks my
throat. In fantasyland, my deep throat is impeccable. Next he
ties me up and fucks me. Sometimes he's tied my hands,
fucking me doggy while slapping my ass. Sometimes he gags
me, blindfolds me and fucks me missionary, whispering terrible
things in my ear. Sometimes he 'makes' me get on top, orders
me not to make a noise, and frequently tells me to hop off and
suck his cock.

Eventually he'll come on my face, reminding me that sluts
don't get to come (man, that
really
gets me off), then makes me
lick up any last drops of come off the floor. Get the floor really
clean, he reminds me, his huge hand resting on my neck.

If I haven't come yet by this point in the fantasy, he might
make me go out without wiping the come off my face, or he
might tie me up and cause me a little pain. He might get so
hot by looking at my face glazed with come that he gets hard
again, fucks my face (reminding me, again, that sluts don't get
to come) and comes directly in my throat.

Amy, age 26
Bisexual
Single, very sexually active
A levels
Student
Yorkshire, UK

I imagine being young, fourteen or fifteen, and being a true
Lolita-type girl. I imagine seducing countless men and allowing
them to abuse, humiliate and rape me. Submission to a man
turns me on, being controlled, abused, humiliated, hurt . . . but
then being treated respectfully and with tenderness afterwards!
Personal fantasies are a huge turn-on. I've begun to
know myself more and more in the past year. Until that point,
I was frustrated and bored with sex – it seemed to promise
much, but deliver very little. Average sex is not for me – I know
that. I have also discovered that there's no shame in succumbing
to your most secret desires; repression is something the English
are too good at, and it's bad for the soul and the development,
I believe. I held myself back and caused damage to myself
because culture and society were at work on my brain, telling
me that I was a deviant and a freak! – when all along I was
just a bit . . . alternative and experimental! To be honest, the
most rewarding and fulfilling sexual experiences, for me, have
not involved out-and-out sex. They have been more exercises
in control and manipulation.