The No Cry Nap Solution (13 page)

Catnaps
73

Alexander and Nicholas, twins, fourteen months old

Once you determine how long your baby typically sleeps, you’ll

be ready to intervene. Put your baby down for his nap as usual.

About fi ve to ten minutes
before
the usual wake-up time, go into

the room and gently touch, pat, or jiggle your baby for about ten

minutes. A good technique to try is to place your hands on the

mattress near your baby and rhythmically pat or bounce the mat-

tress. The jiggle and the patting sound can keep your baby sleep-

ing. Another technique is to sit beside the bed and lay your hands

on him. If your baby stirs, you can pat, rub, or shush him to pre-

vent him from fully waking.

When you attempt this resettling procedure, your baby may

slightly wake and then settle back to sleep for another cycle. Some

babies may need you to reproduce the original setting under which

they fi rst fell asleep (nursing, rocking, pacifi er). That might mean

taking your baby out of bed and helping him fall back to sleep.

Over time, you may be able to help your little one modify his body

74 Solving Napping Problems

clock into taking longer naps. Once his system gets accustomed to

this routine, you should no longer have to help him fall back to

sleep between cycles.

Intervene at the Moment of the

Cycle-Change Awakening

If your baby’s naps are not consistent—they last thirty minutes,

forty-fi ve minutes, or an hour, but you never can tell which to

expect—then your approach will have to be slightly different from

the one just described. You’ll need to wait until your baby actually

stirs. This alternate method can also be used by your choice, if you

would prefer to wait until your baby stirs rather than basing your

response on timing. Instead of waking your baby
before
the cycle

change, you’ll intervene at the moment of awakening, when your

baby moves or make noises that indicate he is shifting cycles.

To intervene at the moment of the sleep cycle change, you’ll

put your baby down for a nap as usual, but about fi fteen minutes

before the earliest possible awakening time, sit outside the bed-

room and listen very carefully. (You can read a book, knit, or fold

laundry—but be very quiet.) The exact minute that your baby

makes a sound, go in to him quickly. You’ll fi nd him in a sleepy,

just-about-to-wake-up state. Use whatever technique helps him to

fall back to sleep—patting, breastfeeding, rocking, or offering a

pacifi er. If this doesn’t work, you might even have to transfer him

to a swing or vibrating seat. If you’ve caught him quickly enough,

he will fall back to sleep. If you need to pick your baby up in order

to resettle him and then want to return him to his bed, review the

process for transferring your baby from arms to bed without wak-

ing him up (see “The Pantley Dance,” on page 144).

If your baby doesn’t go back to sleep but seems fussy and out

of sorts, it’s likely that you intervened too late and missed the

window to get him back to sleep. Some babies wake quietly, and

by the time they make a noise, they have already been up for a

Catnaps
75

Mother-Speak

“Your advice to sit outside the door and catch Kaiden the

minute that he moves has worked wonders! The minute he

stirs, I run in, put in the pacifi er, and either pat him or pick

him up and cradle him the exact same way I do to put him

to sleep. Within ten minutes he is usually back into a deep

sleep, and then he sleeps for another hour or more.”

—Noelia, mother of three-month-old Kaiden

few minutes. In this case, you’ll need to put your chair beside your

baby’s bed and watch him for signs of waking so you can begin

your resettling attempts as soon as he begins to stir.

After a week or more of this intervention, your catnapper

should be taking a much longer snooze without any help from you.

However, even if your baby continues to need your help mid-nap

to fall back to sleep, most parents are willing to make this effort to

ensure that their baby gets a nice, long, refreshing nap every day.

Help Your Baby Discover How to Fall

Asleep Without Your Help

Many catnappers wake fully between cycles because they abso-

lutely, totally rely on you to help them fall asleep. If your baby

always
falls asleep with your help, such as breastfeeding, bottle-

feeding, or being rocked, he may be physically unable to fall asleep

any other way. In this case, it can help to very slowly wean your

baby from your help over a period of several weeks. At the same

time that you wean your baby from the sleep association that is

getting in the way of him sleeping alone, you can build sleep cues

such as darkening the room, putting your baby into bed with a

small, safe lovey that he can cuddle with, and playing lullabies,

nature sounds, or white noise.

76 Solving Napping Problems

Exposure to cigarette smoke can shorten your baby’s naps, so

it’s best to prevent anyone from smoking in the same room

or car as your baby. If you smoke cigarettes and breastfeed,

avoid smoking for a minimum of one hour before your baby’s

naptime, and longer if possible, as it takes up to three hours to

clear the nicotine from your milk.

As an example, if your baby relies on having you rock him

until he falls asleep, then you would gradually reduce the intensity

and amount of time that you rock him until you are holding him

motionless in your arms. If you normally rock him in the family

room, relocate your routine to the bedroom, moving right next to

the crib. This will help your baby get used to the new location. The

next step would be to place him in the crib while he is sleepy but

still awake and keep your hands on him until he settles to sleep.

If your baby breastfeeds or bottlefeeds to sleep, the sucking-

to-sleep routine is the strongest, most challenging association to

change. See the chapter “Naptime Nursling: Falling Asleep With-

out the Breast, Bottle, or Pacifi er,” where you’ll fi nd many solu-

tions for longer, easier naps.

If your baby is younger than six months, it may be very helpful

to swaddle him for naptime (see the chapter “How to Use Swad-

dling for Naptime”). Putting your baby in socks can be helpful,

too, to prevent cold feet from waking your baby prematurely.

Watch the Effects of Food, Drink,

and Medicine

Catnappers can wake as a result of food and drink consumed

prior to naptime. High-sugar, nonnutritious foods and beverages

Catnaps
77

or foods that contain caffeine (such as chocolate) can disrupt

sleep. Be sure that your child has a healthy, low-sugar snack before

naptime.

Some medications may cause side effects such as sleeplessness

or diffi culty falling asleep, so if your child is taking regular medi-

cation, ask your health care provider about any potential infl u-

ence it may have on your child’s sleep.

Breastfeeding mothers who consume drinks that contain caf-

feine may fi nd that this reduces the length of their baby’s naps.

Every baby has a different tolerance to the amount of caffeine in

breast milk. Experiment with the amount and timing of consum-

ing these beverages to see if they have an effect on your baby’s

naptime. You’ll need to reduce the amount of caffeine in your diet

for about two to three weeks to properly gauge the results of the

change. (It may help to switch to drinks with less caffeine, such as

tea or root beer, to prevent headaches that can result from a sud-

den elimination of caffeine.)

Have Realistic Expectations

As you work toward lengthening your child’s naps, make sure that

your goals are realistic and age-appropriate. For example, if your

baby has a good night’s sleep followed by two great naps, it’s possi-

ble that his third nap of the day is perfect as a catnap. Your baby’s

naps should be based on a blending of science, biology, his daily

needs, your needs, and your baby’s sleep maturity and personality.

Settle and Wait

Just a quick note here that some babies are very capable of put-

ting themselves back to sleep between cycles but no one ever

gives them a chance to do this! Many babies are very noisy, active

cycle-changers. Between sleep cycles, they shift around in the bed

78 Solving Napping Problems

and make lots of noises. They may even make
slight
crying sounds.

If no one shows up to get them, they will fall back to sleep. To

test if your baby is able to do this, take a little longer getting to

your baby once he wakes up—maybe allowing him ten or fi fteen

minutes to resettle. As long as he’s not crying, just wait and see if

he really is awake or if he is just noisily working his way through a

sleep-cycle change. Some babies are not like this, and they quickly

work themselves up to a wide-awake frenzy, so just try this once or

twice to determine if your baby is a candidate for this solution.

Is It Time for a Schedule Change?

There are times when short naps are a sign that your baby’s cur-

rent nap schedule is no longer working for him and he is ready for

a change of schedule—perhaps switching from four naps a day to

three, from three to two, or from two to one. Possibly he needs

more or less time between naps. Maybe he needs to go down for a

nap a little earlier or later than he has been. Take another look at

the sleep chart on page 8 and read the chapters “Shifting Sched-

ules: Changing from Two Naps to One Nap” and “Shifting Sched-

ules: Time to Give Up Naps?” which address schedule changes.

The “Heck with the Schedule, Just Watch

the Baby” Approach to Naps

There are some families who would do best if they tossed aside any

scientifi c sleep advice and lived completely according to baby’s

own pattern. If your lifestyle allows it and if it feels comfortable

to you, then just ignore any charts, schedules, and advice, and let

your child’s signs of tiredness entirely dictate when he sleeps and

how long he sleeps.

The key to this approach is to learn to read your child’s signs

accurately (see the list of signs on pages 44 and 88). Also, you

Catnaps
79

Abigail, eleven months old

must be willing to modify your daily activities according to your

baby’s sleep needs. This may mean holding your baby in a sling

or a stroller for napping if you are out and about, or dealing with

a fussy baby if he suddenly feels tired. It may be changing plans

because suddenly your baby is tired and ready to sleep.

One aspect of this approach is that your baby’s bedtimes will

likely change from day to day depending on when and how long

he napped. And, of course, if bedtime changes, then morning

wake-up time will likely change as well. Therefore, this go-with-

the-fl ow approach is best for families who are fl exible in regard to

bedtime and wake-up time.

There is nothing wrong with approaching your baby’s sleep

needs in this way. In order to be effective, though, it does require

that you have a relaxed attitude about your child’s sleep, coupled

with plenty of knowledge and awareness, to be sure that his spo-

radic sleep schedule is meeting his true sleep needs.

80 Solving Napping Problems

Health issues can interfere with your baby’s sleep. Allergies,

asthma, refl ux, ear infections, colic, diffi cult teething, or a

sleep disorder can affect your child’s ability to take long,

peaceful naps. If you suspect that your baby might be suf-

fering from any of these ailments, talk to your pediatrician or

other medical professional for advice.

Solve Nighttime Sleep Issues

There is a defi nite correlation between nighttime sleep and day-

time naps in terms of length and quality. Many children who are

not getting adequate nighttime sleep will often wake up early and

then, an hour or so later, appear to need a nap but not nap long