The No Cry Nap Solution (14 page)

or well. So if you can improve your child’s night sleep, he may well

take better naps. If you are struggling with nighttime sleep issues,

check my website,
www.nocrysleepsolution.com, f
or excerpts from my No-Cry Sleep Solution books that address nighttime sleep

problems.

The Nap Resister

When Your Child Needs a Nap but

Won’t Take One

See also: Shifting Schedules: Time to Give Up Naps?

My daughter refuses to nap. If I put her in

her crib, she will not sleep for love or money.

She just cries until I rescue her, and then

she’s crabby for the rest of the day!

There are many reasons why children won’t nap, and we’ll delve

into those in detail in a moment. Once you fi gure out the cause

of your child’s “nonnappingness,” you can put together a plan to

overcome her resistance. However, no matter why your child won’t

nap, there are a few tips that can be helpful as you encourage any

child to nap. So keep these basic principles in mind:

• Maintain a consistent daily schedule that works with your

child’s natural body clock. Create a predictable pattern to

the day.

• Modify your schedule according to your child’s sleepy signs.

(See pages 44 and 88.)

• Have a relaxing prenap routine to cue your child that nap-

time is here and to help him wind down and relax.

• Set up a sleeping place that is cozy and that sets the stage

for sleep.

• Dress your child comfortably for sleep.

81

82 Solving Napping Problems

• Keep mornings bright and active and the half hour or so

before each nap quiet and calm.

Answer the Question “Why Not?” and

Then Look for Answers

There are many ideas for helping a child to nap, but the best idea

in the world may not work for you if the solution doesn’t address

the reason that
your child
won’t nap. Before you decide on a solu-

tion, you need to understand your child’s motivation. Sometimes,

just exploring the question “Why not?” is enough to get you started

on the right path to your own best solution.

By identifying your child’s specifi c causes, you can go on to cre-

ating a custom solution that will work best for you. So let’s exam-

Arran, two years old

The Nap Resister
83

ine the typical reasons that children won’t nap and see if you can

identify the root of your child’s reason or
reasons
, since there may

be more than one that contributes to your child’s resistance to

napping. I’ll identify the common reasons for nonnapping and

then provide a few possible solutions for each issue. You’ll likely

have to combine two, three, or even four of these solutions with

ideas from other parts of this book to come up with the perfect

ideas for your little one.

Problem: Has Outgrown the Current

Nap Schedule

During the fi rst six years of life, children go through many changes

in their napping patterns. They transition from many sporadic

naps to three specifi c naps, then two, and fi nally one nap. And

to make things more complicated, a child may go from two naps

down to one and then back up to two naps again! If you try to

have your child nap on an “expired” nap schedule, then he’ll likely

be unable to sleep when you ask him to.

Solutions

Think about how long you’ve been following the same nap sched-

ule and if you need to make a change. Here are a few tips on fi gur-

ing out if the schedule needs adjustment:

• Has your child evolved physically—for example, has he

learned to crawl, pull up to a stand, or walk? Physical

changes can signal a needed change in nap schedule.

• Has her feeding or meal schedule changed? The timing and

amount of food can affect sleep times.

• Is she still waking up at the same time every morning? If

her wake-up time has changed, it’s likely her nap times will

change too.

84 Solving Napping Problems

• Has there been a change in her daily routine—day care,

playgroup, or a change in your schedule—that affects her

ability to fall asleep at certain times?

• Is your child in a good mood upon awakening from a nap?

Does her mood change between naps? Is she ready to sleep

sooner than usual? Or later?

Professional-Speak

“Be forewarned: you may go through a period when your

baby is totally miserable while you’re trying to tweak his nap

routine. Savor any signs of progress on the nap front rather

than holding out for naptime perfection. After all, every baby

step taken en route to naptime nirvana, however slowly or

reluctantly, is a very big deal indeed.”

—Ann Douglas, author of Sleep Solutions for Your Baby,

Toddler and Preschooler

Once you ponder the answer to the previous questions, set a

plan. Use the sleep hours chart on page 8 as a guide to setting

up a possible schedule. Take a peek at the sample schedules on

pages 111 and 132. Sketch out what you think is a good plan and

then use your child’s daily signs of fatigue as indicators to when he

should be napping. Adjust the plan over the next few weeks until

you settle on the right schedule. It can take weeks for a child’s

biological clock to adapt to a new routine, so be patient during the

transition.

Read over the chapters “Shifting Schedules: Changing from

Two Naps to One Nap” and “Shifting Schedules: Time to Give

Up Naps?” Once you’ve landed on a perfect routine you’ll likely

settle there for a while. But keep your eyes and ears open, as this

will change again and again over the next few years.

The Nap Resister
85

Problem: Naptime Isn’t Properly Aligned

with Homeostatic Pressure

Remember the Volcano Effect described in Part 1 (page 14)? It

explains how children have a natural time span that occurs

between waking up and the need to return to sleep. When you

put a child to bed
before
the span has passed, she won’t easily fall

asleep, but if you wait too long and miss her natural span, she’ll

have moved into a second wind and you’ll have to work extra hard

to help her regain her feeling of tiredness or wait until she hits

another lull before attempting a nap.

Solutions

Seek the optimal length of time from awakening to naptime. To

do this, jot down when your child wakes up (in the morning or

after a nap), then use the chart on page 8 to fi gure out how many

hours your child should be awake until the next nap. Beginning

a half hour or so
before
the estimated time, watch your child for

sleepy signs (pages 44 and 88). When you notice that he is looking

tired, get him right off for a nap! Once you’ve settled on the best

nap time, you can build a slightly longer prenapping ritual into

your day. The ritual will help to fortify the new nap schedule.

Problem: Nap Schedule Doesn’t Match

Your Child’s Biological Clock

Human beings naturally have times when they are feeling alert

and times when they are tired, and this applies to babies and young

children just as much as it does to adults. These alert or tired times

can be affected by timing of meals, morning wake-up, bedtime,

exposure to light and darkness, the activity of the day, and of

course, the homeostatic sleep pressure that we’ve already covered.

86 Solving Napping Problems

Solutions

Take note of your child’s energy level and mood throughout the

day. See if you can identify the ups and downs of his biological

cycle.

At the peak of your child’s cycle he’ll be energetic and active.

This is often a time when we say, “This child needs a nap!” What

that really means, though, is that you
missed
his low-energy phase

when he was mellow and would have likely welcomed sleep, and

now he’s launched into his second wind—a diffi cult time to impose

a nap. Instead, use this observation to set up for tomorrow’s sched-

ule, since children’s tired spans occur at generally the same time

each day. Monitor the awake time spans based on the sleep chart.

These factors together can guide you to the best time for your

child’s nap, since a tired child will welcome sleep more than an

alert, energetic child.

Problem: Nap Schedule Isn’t Consistent

from Day to Day

If your child’s nap schedule varies from day to day, then his body

clock will struggle to stay in sync with his naptime. For example,

if on weekdays his naptimes, bedtime, and wake-up time are spe-

cifi c but on weekends they’re hit and miss, then your child will be

functioning with a weekly bout of jet lag. Other inconsistencies

can also affect this, such as when your child naps at a certain time

at day care but a different time at home, or if he takes a nice long

nap on days when you are at home but takes a short one in the car

(or skips a nap entirely) when you are on the go.

Solutions

Using the guidelines from the previous two sections, set up a pos-

sible nap schedule for your child, and do your best to stay within a

The Nap Resister
87

Ryan, eighteen months old

half hour of the naptimes that you have set up. Try to run errands

or set playdates for times before or after naps. You won’t forever be

bound by these times, as children’s sleep needs do change. But if

your child gets cranky when she misses a nap, it’s worth it to work