The Road to Her (23 page)

“I meant what I said,” I said. “We can just carry on as we were before. Just friends to the outside world, but—”

“But more in private?” Elise offered.

“If that’s what you want?” I asked hesitantly.

“Being with you is better than not being with you,” Elise said simply. She thought for a moment. “Are you really going to go and see Grace tonight?”

“Tonight?”

“You said you were going out with her tonight,” Elise said quietly. “Last night, you told me you were meeting up with her.”

“I’ll cancel,” I said.

“I didn’t want to lose you to Grace,” Elise said again, lifting her eyes to mine. “I would have kicked myself if I’d have let that happen.”

“Well, I’m glad you did do something about it to not let that happen,” I said.

“I’ve been such a shit to you lately.” Elise squeezed my hand. “I’m sorry.” She frowned. “I’ve just got one thing I need you to know, though,” she said.

“Which is?”

“That I need to take this slowly,” she said. “I’ve never felt like this about another girl before.” She looked down at our entwined hands. “And it’s a bit freaky, to be honest,” she continued, “but there’s just something about you, Holly Croft, that I can’t resist.”

“So now what?” I asked.

“I should go, that’s what.” She groaned.

“I didn’t mean that,” I said, disappointment burning in my chest. “I meant, does this mean we’re, you know?”

“I know what you were getting at.” Elise lifted my hand to her lips and kissed it. “And I guess it does.” She hesitated. “But I really do mean it, Holly,” she said. “Just one step at a time, yeah?”

“Of course,” I said. “We can take this as slowly as you want, Elise.”

She held my gaze awhile before finally letting go of my hand and walking to the kitchen door. “And now I really should go home and change.” She laughed, looking down at herself. “Get out of these clothes. Anyone would think I just slept in them.”

Chapter Twenty-one

Once Elise left my apartment, I felt wretched. It was as though the minute she walked out the door, all the fun and colour and excitement that always came in with her just followed her straight back out again, leaving my apartment grey and lifeless once more. The rest of my morning just became an irrelevance, counting down the minutes until I could see her back at the studios again.

When I did see Elise at work a few hours later, it was all I could do to stop a stupid soppy grin from spreading right across my face. She looked happy, too, the first time I think I’d ever seen her look truly and deeply contented in the whole time that I’d known her.

I wanted to spend every single second of that day with her, to keep her close to me, to keep remembering that we really were together at last. However, as it turned out, and to my disappointment, we hardly saw anything of each other all morning. Most of my time that day was filled with filming mundane scenes with Bella and Rory in the Hunters’ front room, which on any other day would be all pretty unremarkable stuff, but today wasn’t just any other day. Today was different, special.

And that was all down to Elise.

We finally had time to ourselves over lunch, when filming stopped at around one p.m. for our break and Elise came over to my set, having finished filming elsewhere in the studio. I’d usually go to my dressing room alone or grab a sandwich and head to the green room and see who was around for a gossip. But today I wanted to be alone with Elise, having that selfish desire to have her all to myself, to just be alone with this gorgeous girl I was crazy about, without having anyone disturbing us.

“Hey you.” Elise linked her hand with mine when the set had finally cleared and we knew we were alone. “How was your morning?”

“Agony.” I rolled my eyes. “I thought about you constantly.”

“I thought about you all morning, too.” Elise threaded her fingers through mine. “Kevin’s been going on to me about the
TV Today
awards ceremony tomorrow night, and all I wanted to do was think about you.”

“The ceremony.” I groaned. “I’d forgotten about that.”

“Well, you’ve had a lot on your mind, haven’t you?” Elise widened her eyes, making me laugh.

“You’ll be okay, will you?” I asked, “Going with me?”

“To the awards?” Elise replied. “Of course! It’s work, isn’t it?”

“I mean, now things have changed,” I said.

“Nothing’s changed, remember?” Elise said, casting a look over her shoulder as she heard a noise. She hesitated before she spoke, checking we were still alone. “It’s all as we were.”

“With added bonuses,” I said quietly.

“With
secret
added bonuses,” Elise corrected. “Our secrets.”

“I wish we could go home right now.” I sighed. “It’s been hell trying not to tell everyone about us—especially Bella.”

“You haven’t, have you?” Elise looked horrified.

“Of course not!” I squeezed her hand. “I’m not gonna tell a soul, of course I’m not.”

“Sorry.” Elise shrugged apologetically.

“I get you when you say no one needs to know anything,” I said softly. “This is just between you and me.”

“Sorry,” Elise repeated. “It’s just…well, you know.”

“It’s fine,” I said.

“So,” Elise said. “Your dressing room or mine?”

“Well,” I said, raising an eyebrow. “I’ve just seen Bella go off in the direction of the canteen, so I’d say mine.”

We dropped one another’s hands and walked from the set and down to my room. I occasionally allowed my hand to brush against Elise’s hand or back whenever we were alone or hidden from view. I loved it. Things that I’d wanted to do for ages, just simple things like touch her or be close to her, and I could finally do them now. I thought I’d never be able to keep my hands off her ever again.

Back in my dressing room, there was a brief moment of initial shyness as we both went in, unsure really what to do, a shared knowledge that we were about to pick up where we’d left off the previous night hanging in the air. Elise hung back by the door while I went and sat on the sofa before finally following me and sitting at the other end from me, crossing her long legs and angling herself so she was facing me, putting her arm across the back of the sofa.

“I can’t stop smiling,” she finally said, after a few seconds of awkward silence. She leant her head sideways against the back of the sofa and gazed at me. “I keep wondering if last night really happened.”

“You’re not having second thoughts about stuff, are you?” I asked uncertainly. “I know you said this morning, but…”

She shook her head, holding her hand out to me. I took it, linking her fingers with mine. She looked at me a while longer, then got up from the sofa and locked the door, returning to sit closer to me this time.

“Does this feel like I’m having second thoughts?” she asked, cupping my face in both her hands and kissing me, so tenderly and gently that my insides flipped right over. She carried on kissing me, soft and long, then slowed it right down, kissing first my top lip, then my bottom lip, then repeating the same movement over and over until I was nearly going crazy for her.

“Well?” she finally asked.

“Nuh-uh.” I shook my head, dazed.

“Good.” She got up and sauntered back over to the door, unlocked it, then opened it up. “Now, what about lunch?” she said, leaning against the door frame. “I’m starving.”

Chapter Twenty-two

“You,” Elise said, her voice low outside my bedroom door the next evening, “are a tease.”

“And what’s teasing about making you wait?” I called out from inside my room. “The fans have to wait to see me, the press have to wait to see me, so why can’t you?”

“Er, hello?” Elise laughed. “Because!”

“Because?” I taunted.

She opened my bedroom door and walked in, closing it and leaning against it. “Because if I don’t see you right now, I think I’m going to die.”

“So dramatic,” I called from inside my en-suite where I was applying dark eyeliner in the large mirror. “I can totally see why you’re an actress.”

It was awards night, and I was deliriously happy just to know that I’d be going with Elise. She had just arrived at my apartment after a full day of filming on set with Bella and Rory where it had been impossible to have so much as five minutes alone with her the entire day. Now, I had barely an hour to get changed, dress, leave my apartment, and arrive at the ceremony, taking place in a small arena in central London.

“So?” I stepped out from the en-suite and stood in front of Elise, my arms out to the sides of me. “Will I do?”

I was wearing a dark red dress, cut above the knee, which clung to me perfectly and kept clinging to me perfectly, more so as I walked towards her.

“Whoa,” she said, looking at me admiringly. “You look amazing! C’mere.” She held her hand out to me and chewed at her lip as I took her hand and went to her.

She pulled me close to her and started kissing my neck, whispering to me how fabulous she thought I looked. When her lips started kissing their way towards my mouth, I reluctantly stepped back, shaking my head and laughing.

“Nuh-uh,” I said, moving away. “You’re not kissing these lips until later, you.”

“You’re kidding me, right?” Elise looked hurt.

I pointed to my face. “See this? I’ve just spent the best part of an hour making it look this fabulous, so if you think you can kiss all this gloss off, you can think again.”

Her eyebrow arched. “There’s a name for girls like you, you know,” she said, pulling a grumpy face.

“Yup, and at the moment it’s Miss Perfect, so go get your bag and you can spend the rest of the evening thinking about how much fun you’re going to have, kissing it all off later,” I said, ushering her back into the hall. “Our car will be here in five, so go!”

Still grumbling, Elise disappeared into the hallway while I followed her. My nerves were really kicking in now, as I knew that in less than an hour we’d be at the arena and in our seats, waiting to hear who’d won what. I’d been nominated once before at an awards ceremony—Best Child, when I’d started on
PR
eight years earlier—but never as an adult. Now, knowing that there would be hundreds of screaming fans waiting for us outside the arena, TV cameras focused on all the arriving cars, and paps shouting out for us, I was absolutely bricking it.

I watched Elise from behind as I followed her, thinking how amazing she looked. More than amazing. She looked absolutely out of this world. She’d gone for an understated cream halter-neck dress, which, like my dress, clung to all the right places, with stunning killer heels, and with just the minimal amount of make-up on, she just oozed class and sophistication. I looked at her and thought that, together, we’d look unbeatable.

“You look hot.” I caught up with her and ran my fingers slowly down the side of her dress as she leant over the arm of my sofa to retrieve her bag. “It’s going to be agony sitting next to you all evening trying to keep my hands off you!”

“Mm-hmm.” She grinned mischievously up at me from under hair flopping artfully over her eyes. “Now you know how it feels.”

The TV cameras and paparazzi obviously thought she was hot, too. When we arrived and got out of the official car that had taken us there, there was an almighty rugby scrum to see who could get to us first. We had cameras shoved in our faces, microphones pushed under our noses, and what seemed like a million flashlights going off whenever we so much as turned a certain way or waved to the crowd.

And the crowd! Oh, boy! There were hundreds and hundreds of fans waiting outside the arena, all calling out our names or calling out for Jasey. The noise was incredible and the atmosphere totally crazy, but we both whooped it up, going over to speak to a few of the fans, having our photos taken on various mobile phones, signing autographs, and even, at one point, speaking to one girl’s mother when she put her mobile phone into my hand and asked me to. We loved it all.

“Well, they sure love you two, don’t they?” Bella was waiting in the lobby of the arena while Rory—whom she’d arrived with—disappeared to speak to Kevin.

I hugged Bella when I saw her, both of us doing air kisses so as not to smudge our make-up.

“Photo hacks hardly batted an eyelid when Rory and I fell out of the car five minutes ago.” She put her arm round my shoulders and gave me a friendly squeeze.

“I’m so nervous, Bella,” I said, rubbing my hands together for no other reason than it made me feel better to do it.

“You’ll knock them dead tonight, whatever happens,” Bella said. “You both will.” She reached out a hand and rubbed Elise’s arm.

We made our way into the arena, where all the
PR
actors were seated together in the first ten or so seats just to the left of the stage, and waited for the ceremony to start. The guy hosting the awards—a stalwart of daytime TV—began with the usual few jokes before starting the serious business of presenting the awards, the first three going to a rival soap, making the
PR
cast glance at one another nervously. When we finally did win an award—for Best Exit—the arena erupted, and I figured we’d all be okay from then on.

Elise and I didn’t win Best Couple, nor did I win Best Actress (yes, that girl from the other soap who I just knew would win got it), but I was totally stoked when Elise won Best Female Newcomer. It was like one of those slow-motion moments when you watch the person presenting the award open the envelope and read the name out, like you can’t quite believe you’ve heard it right.

Elise looked to me wide-eyed as the announcement was made.

“Me?” she mouthed.

“You,” I mouthed back. I leant over to her. “And you totally deserve it,” I whispered in her ear.

Then, all chaos broke out. The audience went wild, applauding and whooping and calling out her name, while Bella, Rory, Robbie, and anyone else who was close enough to us leant over their seats to congratulate her. I pulled away from her, just happy to let her soak up the applause.

She still looked stunned as she made her way carefully up to the stage to collect her award, and I seriously thought my heart might burst with pride. I didn’t have a hint of envy—just unadulterated pride and happiness for her, knowing how hard she—well, we—had worked, just lately, to get to this point. It was as though her award was reward for both of us and also recognition of the fact that, in my own way, I’d played some part in Elise getting it.