The Smartest Girl in the Room (32 page)

They were tall mountains, reaching their
hands out to each other, feeling the energy between them. Emily’s
hands tingled so much she wanted to shake them out.

They were hugging trees. Emily thought of the
myth of Baucis and Philamon and staying in this position forever,
supporting each other. They were fierce warriors going into battle
side by side, their hands overlapping as they reached forward and
back. They lunged to the floor and twisted, embracing each other.
They had to hold on or else they might fall. Then they straddled
their legs and bent forward, reaching through to each other’s
hands, then rocking back and forth, one standing, and one
bending.

Back on the floor they were sitting on their
knees, head down, while the other lay over their back staring at
the ceiling. They straddled their legs on the floor and reached for
each other, then pulled back and forth. They leaned to one side,
holding hands. They lifted their legs up so the soles of their feet
touched, then reached for each other through their feet.

They twisted together. They bent back while
the other pulled. Then they lay down, closing their eyes, resting
their hands on each other. An eternity later, Emily rolled onto her
side and Mitch tucked her into the crevices of his body, listening
to each other’s breathing, trying to tell where one ended and the
other began. At last, they sat up and she sat in the diamond
between his feet and his body so they could embrace.

She couldn’t look at him when class was over.
She quickly threw on her sweater and ran outside as soon as she’d
bundled her mat.

"Wait, wait!"

She turned to look at him. She couldn’t
believe... that he was different from what she was. Because of
that, now she had a question where before she would have had
anger.

"Why did you do that?"

"I thought it would be fun."

What a disappointing answer. "Is that
all?"

"It was... a way for us to be close."

"Why didn’t you ask me?"

"You would have said no."

"That’s a bad answer."

Mitch groaned and held his stomach. He sat
down on a bench. "I think I’m going to be sick."

"Oh, stop being such a baby!" Emily snapped,
disappointed that they couldn't talk more. She ran into Starbucks,
bought him some ginger tea and waited until he finished it before
she led him to the train station.

She walked him home, and put him to bed.
"Don’t be mad," he mumbled before he drifted off. She tucked him
into bed, stroking his head before she left.

Emily couldn’t stop thinking about the class.
The only way she could get her final papers done was with an
audience, so she demanded Miranda and Zainab’s presence that
night.

Miranda shrugged and yawned after she’d read
the last of Emily’s papers. "Seems fine to me. Guess what? I think
you’ll graduate."

"You have no idea how important that is."

"Why is that again?" Zainab said busting out
the brownies Emily had made when she was trying to come up with
ways not to think of Mitch.

"Because now I’ll be free and I can do what I
want."

"Hmm, these are good!" Miranda said as she
delicately chewed a brownie. "And what is that, exactly?"

"Travel," Emily said, knowing that they were
going to think about going to warm, sunny places and not making
sure Joe stayed away from Boston.

They were arguing about whether they should
stay in or go to Miranda’s house when Zainab’s phone rang. Emily
froze when she saw Richard’s name, but relaxed when Zainab started
laughing. After five minutes, she said, "Guys, I think you’re going
to have to figure out dinner without me."

After Zainab left, Emily gave in and agreed
to go out with Miranda to the sushi place in Brookline. But first
she wanted to make sure Mitch was feeling better.

"Are we going to talk about what happened?"
Mitch asked groggily.

"What’s to talk about? You’re nauseous. It’s
a sign from the universe not to ambush someone."

"I’m feeling better. Thanks for the tea and
comfort."

"Are you being sarcastic?"

"No. I’m just disappointed you weren’t there
when I woke up."

"I have finals, and so do you."

"Right. I’ve got a lot of work to do tonight,
and yes, I probably wouldn’t be able to concentrate around you."
Silence. "But I think I’ll be able to manage tomorrow."

"Excuse me?"

"You heard me, but I’ll put it in as a formal
request. Can I see you tomorrow? And don’t use your work as an
excuse, because you’re almost done. You either want to see me or
you don’t."

"What if I do?" Emily said at last. "Do you
get a prize?"

"Just the pleasure of your company. Let’s say
I’ll be around at eleven." Before she could say anything, he hung
up.

Miranda smiled and wagged her finger. "Oh
shut up!" Emily said as she locked up.

Emily had the apartment all to herself again
the next morning. She woke up, worked out, showered and, because
she could think more clearly, made last minute changes to her final
papers. Once she deemed them ready, she decided to celebrate by
making scones and tea.

The scones were just out of the oven when
Zainab and Richard walked in. "Good morning!" Neither Zainab nor
Richard answered. "Uh, scones?"

"Scones... yeah, that sounds great," Zainab
said, not looking at either of them.

Emily was about to ask what was going on when
the doorbell rang. It was Mitch. He smiled when he saw her. "All
better now."

Richard spoke up before she could say
anything. "Mitch, I think you and Zainab should dig into those
scones. They smell great."

"Have a seat Mitch," Zainab said blankly.
Richard led her out of the apartment and onto the street.

Emily searched his face. "What’s wrong? Is
everything okay with Zainab?"

"Yes, well... I think I’ve got a lot of
making up to do." He took a deep breath. "Michael called last
night."

"Where is he?"

"Asia, somewhere- I don’t know. It doesn’t
matter." He sucked his cheeks in. "I was in the other room when the
phone rang, and Zainab picked it up."

Emily swallowed. "What did he say?"

"I want you to know, he does have some
decency. He thought I picked up, which is why he started shouting
about what he found." He scoffed. "He was very apologetic once I
got on the phone and he realized what he’d done."

"Richard-"

"But it was too late." His eyes were red.
"She was so angry with me when she realized... how involved I
was."

"It’s my fault," she said quickly. "I didn’t
tell her. I wanted- I didn’t want her to think- I don’t know, it
was stupid. I should have told her."

"I think I had a greater burden than you
did."

Poor Richard, who had to take care of
everything and everyone. She had just put her hand on his when the
door opened and Zainab and Mitch came out. Zainab was
expressionless, Mitch was trying to be.

Emily put her hand down. "Zainab, can I talk
to you?"

"Actually," Zainab said coolly, "I think we
were going to the library."

"What? Right, right," Richard nodded at last.
"But first we were getting lunch, weren’t we?"

"Whatever you say." Without another word to
Emily, Zainab got into Richard’s car and Richard followed.

"What was that all about?" Mitch said after
they drove away.

Emily looked at Mitch’s handsome face. Why
had she made everything so hard? "It’s just me, screwing up
again."

Mitch softened. "Do you want to talk about
it?"

She loved his voice. "No. I believe we have a
date, Mr. Graham, and it’s about time it got started."

Emily made Mitch talk about his parents and
his friends from Natick on the way to Faneuil Hall. He made her
laugh with stories about his Grandma Lulu. It wasn’t enough to make
her forget about Drew, Joe and Michael, but it was enough to make
her laugh, and that was good enough.

There was something that would make her feel
better. Emily told him to wait and ran into the Native
American-themed gift shop.

"I got you something," she said when she came
out a few minutes later.

"What?"

"Open it."

Inside the little white box was a band with
green and blue stones.

"Put it on."

"You want me to wear a necklace?"

"It’s more of a band. With beads."

"I don’t know if this is my style."

"All the cool guys are doing it."

"I’m not cool."

"Don’t you think," she said as she moved in
closer, "you owe me after your yoga attack yesterday?"

"Admit you liked it, and I’ll put it on."

"I loved it. I hope we get to do that again.
But maybe longer next time, and alone."

"Does this have a matching bracelet? Because
I’m willing to put that on too if you keep talking."

"Don’t press your luck." She helped him tie
the band around his neck, then smiled.

"What’s so funny?"

"Nothing. It just brings out your eyes."

"You like my eyes?" he said, lifting his
eyebrows.

"You know you have gorgeous eyes. I’m sure
everyone has told you that."

"Maybe, but I like hearing it from you."

"I don’t make you tell me you think I’m
pretty."

"That’s because you know you’re gorgeous. You
know every night I go to bed thinking about you and your eyes and
hair. And you know that means sometimes it can be hard to get to
sleep at all."

"Don’t press your luck."

They held hands while they ordered food, and
Emily thought that if Mitch tried to kiss her she’d let him. But he
was content to talk.

When they got to the table, she wanted to
talk about food. Did he like Ethiopian cuisine? Had he ever heard
of injera? Was coconut milk going to work with red beans? Was he
allergic to anything she should know about?

"Can’t stand mushrooms."

"That’s a problem. I love mushrooms. Fine,
I’ll just invite someone else over if I want to make
mushrooms."

"Like... Richard?"

She had enjoyed not thinking about Richard.
"Or Martin. He ate just about all of the stuffed mushrooms I made
that night."

"Okay. Would you like to talk about Martin or
Richard?"

"Martin... likes mushrooms, is funny and
likes politics. I don’t really know enough to say anything
else."

"Great, then let’s talk about Richard."

"He’s the big brother I never had."

"And is that why you were touching him this
morning?"

It took her a moment. "I touched his hand,
didn’t I? And you’re right, that is totally the same thing as you
touching your ex-girlfriend. Except that Richard and I don’t do too
much touching in general, and definitely not that kind."

"That’s not true."

Emily repeated his words to herself just to
be sure she heard them correctly. "Excuse me? Do you mean some guy
other than the one dating Zainab?"

He frowned. "I bet that’s never awkward."

Her heart was beating faster. "You’d better
take that back. I’d never do anything like that to her."

"So it’s okay if you don’t tell her about
whatever was going on between the two of you before they hooked
up?"

"There was nothing-"

"I saw you with him."

He was crazy. "You couldn’t have seen
anything!"

"I saw him holding you, and not like a big
brother."

"What are you talking about?"

"That day in the quad."

She was stunned. There was only one day he
could mean, and he was accusing her of... Oh, Hell no. "That was
the worst day of my life. I had just been literally shaken up by my
psycho drug-dealing ex, then found out that Zainab had been raped
because of him."

"What?!?"

"You caught me. That’s our dirty little
secret. Drew sold Joe the drugs, and I saw him do it. And Richard
and I had the drugs. That was the day I punched Joe out, and then I
saw you. Excuse me for being a little upset and needing a hug from
a guy who wasn’t an ass!" The one thing she’d learned from Drew was
to keep fighting. "You are a perfect, jealous pig right now, and
where do you get off? When have you ever had a good reason to be
jealous?"

Mitch rolled his eyes. "Oh, here we go."

"You want to dance, let’s dance. You don’t
get to screw someone for three months and then whine to me because
I was hugging someone or talking to someone! Did I ever blow you
off to be with someone else? I am not a toy, and I’m not going to
play games, especially when they have different rules for different
people."

"When are you going to stop whining and grow
up? I made a mistake and I said I was sorry. I’ve tried to make up
for it, but there’s nothing you’ll let me do. Jesus!" Mitch came in
close. "Kyra may have been a piece of work, but being cheated on
twice was more fun than this."

Emily threw her iced tea on him. "That ought
to cool you off until you can find some more." She got up, marched
out and hoped she’d never have to see him again.

Emily’s anger moved her to the train station.
Lesson learned. She never wanted to see Mitch again.

It was when the C train pulled in that she
wished she could turn around and run back to Mitch, even if it was
to fight with him and be hurt again because that would be easier
than getting on the train and going home.

She tried to see Mitch’s face. She tried to
remember Richard’s voice as he’d described the call. She tried to
remember how much she despised Michael. None of that worked. All
she could see was Zainab starting past her.

She dreaded every step off the train, but she
took them anyway. Zainab had every right to tell her she didn’t
want to see her again, but she deserved to hear Emily apologize
first.