The Thief Redeemer (23 page)

I DECIDE TO trust Philip Birch with
my case, mainly because I don’t have any other choice, but also because of
Claire. And what criminal would ever have a lawyer like Philip Birch to
represent them? I’m one lucky bastard.

We spend an hour going over my case.

“Sir,” I stop him during a pause. We haven’t gotten to this
part, but I want to mention this before we do. “I know you’re here to give me
legal advice, and I respect that and want to follow what you say, but there is
something I want…no need…to do.”

“Yes?”

“I’m going to plead guilty. Everything I’m accused of is
true, and I want to come clean. Confess all my sins and make Claire and my
brothers proud. I turned myself in for them. I don’t really care how long they
lock me up, I’m done letting my past determine my future. I’m going to plead
guilty and face the consequences.”

Birch doesn’t say anything for a while. Then he looks at his
notes.

“You’re doing this for Claire and your brothers?”

“Yes, sir.” I don’t elaborate. I’ve probably told him too
much already.

“Okay. We’ll plead no contest and that will keep you away
from a jury. This way we go in front of a judge and let him make the
decisions.”

“Yes, sir.”

We read more legal information and when it’s over, my brain
is fried. We stand to leave and Mr. Birch holds out his hand for me to shake.
I’m shocked and quickly try, through my cuffs, to reciprocate.

“I’m proud of you, son.”

He looks me in the eyes when he says this, and I freeze. I
haven’t had anyone tell me they were proud of me in years…and he called me son.
“Thanks.” I’m not sure if I said the word in my head or if it actually came
from my mouth. I watch him leave and I continue standing, waiting on the guard
to lead me back to my cell. I’m still in shock when they close me in my cell
moments later.

He told me he was
proud
of me…and he called me son.

He told me he was proud of me…and he called me
son
.

I MEET WITH Mr. Birch almost
everyday during the coming weeks. He’s confident in what he does, and I find
myself agreeing with all his recommendations. After all, he’s the big ass lawyer.
I’m a criminal at his mercy. After two weeks of meetings, the court date is
set. I will be meeting with the judge in a month to plead no contest.

“I think I can manage a deal for fifteen years, with a
chance of parole in twelve.”

I look him in the eyes and nod. This sucks ass. In fifteen
years, I’ll be forty-three years old. I hate how my past decisions have led me
here, but there’s no changing the past.

“I’m trying for less time, but you have several charges on
you…I don’t want to get your hopes up.”

“Yes, sir. I understand.” I put my head down. I need to run
my hand down my face to experience the calming effect it brings, but I can’t
due to the cuffs. I sigh deeply and look into his eyes. I’ve been meeting with
him every day for the past two weeks and I need to know one thing, one very
important piece of information.

“Sir.” Mr. Birch looks at me and I know I might get killed
for the next question. He might quit my case over this, but I have to ask. I
have to know. “I realize I’m going to rot in this place for the next fifteen
years. I know this and I accept the consequences for my actions. But I have one
request.” I pause before dropping the bomb.

“Will I be able to see Claire? Will I be able to see my
brothers? I know I will have weekly visiting times and those three are the only
ones I want to see. My brothers are eighteen now. They can make their own
decisions about wanting to come see me…if they want to. They might not want to,
but if they do, can it be arranged?” Now I’m rambling, but I did just admit to
wanting to see his daughter, and the two people he single-handedly cut from my
life.

Mr. Birch looks at me first and then diverts his eyes to the
wall. “They’ve already requested to see you, Brandon.”

“What?” I stand, causing the wooden chair to wobble behind
me. “What? They want to see me? They aren’t too ashamed of me?” A smile crosses
my face and I no longer care about the fifteen years. Claire, Mark, and Luke
want to see me.

“No. They’re not ashamed, Brandon. They’re proud.” He pauses
for a minute before he continues. “Claire told me you were a good person and
that you would make the right choice. To be honest with you, I didn’t believe
her, but when you turned yourself in…well, I became a believer. People can
change. And the way Claire talks about you, you would think you’re a saint.
But, I thought it best if we waited a while to let the dust settle before they
came to visit you. The media will heavily cover your hearing, so I recommended
they wait until afterwards for visits. I hope you understand. I don’t want
Claire’s picture splattered all over the news anymore than you want your
brothers’ pictures shown.”

“Is Claire…in contact with my brothers?” I have to ask. My
voice sounds small.

“Yes, they talk quite frequently. Those three are your
biggest fans.”

I nod my head, and a smile crosses my face. Do I dare
mention what I want to say to this man? “I don’t know if you want to hear this
sir,” I stare at the ground, at my prison-enforced white tennis shoes, and
continue my confession, “but I love her.”

The atmosphere goes cold and I know I shouldn’t have opened
my mouth. How can I make this right? What can I say? “I know you don’t think a
man like me can love or be capable of love, but she’s the greatest thing that
ever happened to me…she saved me from myself.

“I want to be the best man I can be for her, and turning
myself in is all I figured I could do. I turned myself in to face the
consequences. I realize when I’m released I’ll be forty-three and Claire will
be married with kids…” I trail off at the moment because the thought of her
with another man brings pain to my heart. The thought of her having children
with someone else makes me want to break my chair in half and throw it across
the room. I swallow a couple of time and feel the cuffs catch when I try to run
my hand across my face. “I realize she’ll have moved on and she’ll have someone
who is worthy of her and who deserves her, but I would still like to see her.
She’ll always hold a place in my heart. I doubt I’ll meet anyone else who will
affect me like she does.”

I finish my tirade and wait for Mr. Birch to announce he’s
quitting the case.

“Is that why you kidnapped her? You thought you were in love
with her?”

I’m not expecting this question and I look up from the
floor. I need to be honest with him in all aspects. I’m done with the lies and
the old way of life.

“I’ll be honest with you, sir. I kidnapped her because I
wanted to cause you pain. When you removed my brothers from my life, I hated
you. I’ve hated you for the past ten years and I took her so you could
experience my pain. I never
meant
to fall in love with her, believe me,
but I think I loved her from the first moment we met. I really do.” I break eye
contact and I’m back focusing on the table. This conversation has gotten
personal fast, and I’m feeling a little uncomfortable.

He nods slowly. “It’s understandable you thought me a
monster. I took your brothers away, but at the time, I thought it was best. You
were an angry eighteen-year-old, and I think your brothers have done well with
their adoptive parents.”

I don’t say anything. He’s right about my past anger issues.
I don’t totally agree with him, but now isn’t the time for an argument. “Yeah.
They have.” That’s the only answer he’s getting from me, because I’m not sure
if I can admit yet that they were better off without me. Having the files
remain sealed is what made me the angriest, but that wasn’t Birch’s call; it
was their adoptive parents’. Birch was only working for them. I need to forget
the past and forgive not only myself, but everyone that has hurt me.

I decide in this moment not only to trust Birch, but to
forgive him as well. It’s the only way to move forward.

“All right, son. Keep yourself out of trouble and prepare
for your court date. I’ll be in touch over the next month while we wait to meet
with the judge. We’ve finished everything up on my end.” He stands to leave and
I before I can stop myself, I yell the word without thinking.

“Wait!”

He turns around to look at me, standing at his mercy with my
hands and feet bound. What do I say to him now? I don’t want him to go because
he’s my connection to Claire.

“How is Claire? I haven’t asked because I didn’t want you to
know my feelings, but now that you do, how is she? Is she okay?” I wait for his
response while my heart pumps thickly through my veins. I haven’t spoken this
much of Claire since she left, and now I’m at the mercy of her father.

He pauses and hesitates. “She’s doing better.”

She’s doing better since she returned home. She’s probably
realized what a piece of shit I am, and she’s come to her senses. My mind works
into overdrive as I try to come up with something, anything, I can do to
communicate with her.

“If I write something for Claire, will you give it to her?”

He thinks for a second and then nods yes. He walks back over
and pulls out a pen and some paper. I stare at the paper for thirty seconds,
just staring, not knowing what to write. What words do I use and how do I say
what I long to say? My mind runs through memories of her and then I know the
perfect words. It sums up the way I feel. The pen starts to write and upon
completion, I smile. Mr. Birch reads over my shoulder and frowns.

“What does that mean?”

“She’ll know exactly what it means, sir. It’s from
Gone
with the Wind
.”

“Ah, her favorite.”

I look at him and smile. He knows his daughter’s favorite
book. I look back down at the quote and realize I couldn’t have said it better
than Margaret Mitchell. Claire will understand what this means. After all,
she’s the one who explained it to me.

Her lips on his could tell him better than all her
stumbling words.

THREE WEEKS HAVE passed, and I
haven’t heard from Birch. I spend my days reading and working out. I don’t
think I’ve worked on my body or read this many books in years. The prison
library only has five John Grisham books, so I’ve had to move on to other
authors. This is good because Grisham reminds me of Claire.

At night while falling asleep, I see her sitting on that
sofa, hiding her eyes behind her books, and then cutting them to me. I smile in
my sleep at the memories and wonder what she’s doing. I wonder how she’s
feeling and if she regrets the three months we spent together. Her memory and
scent are branded onto my skin.

I hate being here in this jail cell, even though I know this
is what I deserve. Birch says there are two counts against me: theft and
kidnapping. I came clean and told him everything I’d done, like sending people
off to “disappear.” He said he would take care of everything and told me not to
worry. I guess this is what lawyers are for.

Of course, I haven’t seen my lawyer in almost a month and my
hearing is scheduled for next week. Maybe he’s doing all the work, and I only
have to show up and look pretty. Fifteen years sounds like eternity to me, but
then again, I probably deserve longer. I’m not getting my hopes up for a
shorter sentence. Birch said he thinks fifteen, so I’m going off his expertise.

I sit back against the headboard of my bed and open my book.
Today I’m reading
The Shining
. There’s nothing like a good Stephen King
book. This is the perfect atmosphere to read anything Stephen King writes
because jail is a true living nightmare.

I’m halfway done with a book I have read countless times
when a guard walks up.

“Wilson. Your lawyer is here.”

I put the book down, earmarking my place, and walk to the
bars. I insert my hands into the slot. The guard cuffs them together. Once
completed, he opens the sliding door and I walk into the hallway. I’m seated in
the same room I’ve become all too familiar with as I wait for Birch to enter. I
assume we’re going to review the hearing since it’s less than seven days away.

The door opens, and the long blonde hair is what I see
first. I stand up without realizing I’ve done so and my heart jumps. There she
is. The girl I sent away, whom I haven’t seen in over two months. She’s just as
beautiful as I remember, and I literally melt. I long to take her in my arms
and kiss her senseless, but I can’t. I’m in an orange jumpsuit and my hands are
cuffed together.

It’s ironic how our roles have become reversed. She walks
over to her side of the table and we say nothing for a second. I’m too stunned
it’s her. Her face is expressionless.

“Hi, Claire.” I’m the one to break the silence. I wonder how
she feels about me. Does she still love me or does she hate my guts? The last
words she spoke to me made it pretty clear love isn’t in the equation.

“Hi.” Her voice is small and beautiful. I notice she’s
wearing a black business suite and she’s fixed herself up. Her hair is long and
smooth and she’s wearing a small amount of makeup. She never wore makeup during
our three months together. She looks beautiful with or without it.

“You look really pretty today.” I don’t know what makes me
say this, but my remark causes her to drop her head. Beneath her lashes she
gives me a small smile. A grin crosses my face, and I know I’ve broken down her
tough girl wall.

“I’m here on assignment for Mr. Birch. I’m going to discuss
with you what will happen at your hearing.”

I nod as we take our seats. I can’t keep my eyes off her,
and she notices my stares. She’s trying to do her job and act all
business-like, but I’m too distracted. It is possible she’s more beautiful now
than she was two months ago?

“Brandon. You have to quit staring and listen,” she scolds
me, but there’s little threat behind her voice. I grin again, knowing that she
feels this too.

“You’re too distracting,” I answer, and I’m once again
rewarded with a smile.

“Your court date is in seven days. Mr. Birch has done what
he can and I need to know what size suit you wear so we can have you
presentable in front of the judge.”

I tell her what I believe is my size. “Are you buying me a
suit?” This family has done more than enough for me. I can’t believe this, too.

“Yes. On the day of the hearing, we’ll send someone to make
a delivery. The twins and I will be present during the case. We won’t be able
to speak with you, but we’ll be in the back listening. You’re going to get
time. That’s really not the question. The question is how much time. Mr. Birch
is trying his hardest to work with the state to give you the least amount of
jail time possible. What happens is up to the judge.”

I pause and look into her eyes. “You know, Claire, jail used
to be my worst fear. Going to jail seemed like a death sentence. Don’t get me
wrong, I’m not happy to be here, but I don’t fear this anymore. Knowing that
the twins and you are behind me gives me strength. I know I can do this…with
your support. I’ve always been able to do the impossible with your support.”

She looks at me and doesn’t say a word. After a long
silence, she whispers, “I know what you mean.” That’s my cue and although my
hands are cuffed, I place them on the table and grab her hands into mine.

“Baby, I’ll get through this. I don’t know how much time
I’ll receive, but I do have one selfish request.”

“Yes?”

“Once I’m sentenced and have visitation, will you and the
twins promise to visit me? I think I’ll receive weekly visitations. I don’t
want to lose what I have with you, and I want to develop a friendship with my
brothers. Please promise me this.” I exhale and stroke her fingers with my
thumbs. What I really want to ask is if she will wait for me, but I know this
request is too selfish. Visitation is enough.

I can’t hope for any more. One day she’s going to visit and
tell me she’s engaged to another man. It’s going to kill me, but I need to
prepare myself for the inevitable.

“Of course,” she says without even taking the time to think
about it. “I’ll be here every week and your brothers will come as often as
school allows.”

I smile and squeeze her hands. This is all I will ask for
now. I hope and dream one day at a time. In this moment I will focus on Claire,
and when she leaves, I will focus on my hearing. I need to pray for as little
time as possible so maybe Claire will wait for me; the lesser the sentencing,
the greater my chances.

“Claire, what were you thinking during our three months
together? Can you tell me what was running through your mind?” I know every
word we speak in here is recorded, but I also know this will be the last chance
to speak with her for a while.

“Well…” she smiles and bites her lip. This causes me to
smirk back and wonder what she could possibly say.

“Well, what?”

“Well…I hated you initially. I don’t think that was a
secret, but…you grew on me.”

“I grew on you?” I raise my eyebrows at this while an even
larger grin crosses my face.

“Yeah. You were growing on me little by little and then the
day we met your brothers, I gave in to my desires. I had been hoping you would
kiss me for a while and you never would, so that day, I took matters into my
own hands.” Her blue eyes sparkle, and I want her so bad.

“I wanted to kiss you Claire. You don’t know how difficult
it was for me to hold back. I just didn’t think I deserved you. I held back
because I knew you could do better. I knew you had a perfect guy named Jonathan
sitting at home waiting on you, and I could never add up.” I look at her lips.
“I was holding back, much like I’m doing now. I wanted to so bad, but I knew it
wasn’t a possibility.” I whisper the last part and feel Claire melt in my
hands.

“I know what you mean.” Her voice is deeper and her eyes
darker. She is just as affected by my presence as I am by hers. “I think I
should go.”

I nod because as much as I don’t want her to leave, making
out and touching in this conference room would be highly unprofessional…and
frowned upon.

“I understand. It was great to see you. I’ll look for you
and the twins at the hearing.”

“Oh! I almost forgot.” She reaches into her bag and pulls
out a letter. It has my name on the top in chicken scratch, and I instantly
know the sender.

“It’s a letter from your brothers.”

I exhale and gaze at the envelope a few seconds.

“Thanks Claire. I love you.” I don’t expect her to say it
back because of where we are, and I’m not sure if she even feels the same
anymore. She stands, leans across the table and kisses the top of my head.

“I love you too, Brandon.” She whispers this to me and I
almost can’t make out the words. I take a deep breath and watch her walk away.
Once she opens the door, she glances back and gives me a look, much like the
one she gave that day at the library. Then I kept thinking she was going to
run, but today I recognize her look. It says she won’t run. It says she’ll
return to me.

Claire’s been doing this since the beginning. She’s always
looking out for me and picking up the shattered pieces. When she shuts the
door, I expect to feel despair, but I don’t.

I know she’ll come back to me. And like that day at library,
I’ll be there waiting for her when she returns. No matter how long the wait
might be.

IT’S TEN AM on the morning of my
hearing. I’m sweating. I put my hand on my damp forehead and wipe away the
moisture. Usually, I’m never nervous, but there’s too much riding on the
decision of the judge.

I’m not so worried about my brothers. Regardless of how long
I’m sentenced, I know they’ll visit and fill me in on their lives. My concern
is Claire. I can’t possibly ask her to wait for me if I’m sentenced to fifteen
years. That’s not fair to her. The thought of letting her go again kills me.

I’m not sure I can ask her to wait for me. I might have a
shot if the sentence is short, but we all know that’s a remote possibility. And
even if the judge does give me a shorter term, Claire might not deem me worthy
of waiting for.

Whatever her decision, I will force myself to accept it.
It’s because of my poor decisions that I’m in here, but it’s also because of my
poor decisions that I fell in love with Claire. So where do I draw the line?

I am starting to believe that everything happens for a
reason. There’s a reason I’ve made all these past mistakes and a reason I lost
my parents. There’s a reason I lost my grandparents and brothers all within a
year. I’m a stronger person today because of all this.

There’s also a reason I’m confessing my sins and sitting in
jail.

I glance at the letter Claire delivered from my brothers. I
have re-read it what feels like a thousand times. It says how much they love me
and that they’re proud of me. Their letter gives me the strength to continue.
It gives me the strength to face my biggest fear on a daily basis. Without
these three in my life, I would be lost and depressed. I’m fortunate to have
found Claire, and in turn, my brothers. This is true even if I did go about
meeting Claire the wrong way.

I know they will be at the hearing today. Claire said the
three of them would be here, and I know they are good for their word. I’m
looking forward to seeing their three faces again, even if my fate is difficult
to accept.

Even though I’ve only been in this jail cell a month, I can
already sense a difference in myself. In hindsight, I see a difference over the
past three months. Once Claire entered my life, everything changed. She started
breaking down walls and stripping me down to my soul. Since I have given
everything up, I’m…free. It’s hard to explain, but I’m a different man. There’s
nothing and no one to hide from anymore.

I used to be paranoid, but now I sleep in peace. I’ve even
noticed my temper isn’t as explosive. Don’t get me wrong, I’ll always have a
temper when it comes to the big things, but I tend to let things slide that,
six months ago, would have resulted in a fight.