The Ultimate Guide to Fellatio (14 page)

When you take a moment to marvel at what can be done with a pair of hands, it’s easy to see what sensual tools they are. They can render touches that send shivers up spines, and with literally thousands of nerve endings, they
feel
, and transmit pleasure to us, their owners. Don’t be surprised if giving your male partner an erotic massage turns you on.

Make sure your hands are warm and the skin feels soft. Before you begin, take time out to make sure your fingernails are trimmed and smooth and you don’t have any rough spots. Remove rings and bracelets, or anything else that might get in the way or snag.

You can massage his cock in any number of places or positions, such as seated on the couch or standing in the shower, but you’ll have an easier time and better access if he’s lying down. Whether he’s lying on a massage table draped with towels or doing dishes at the sink, start with light touches and strokes all over his torso and abdomen, upper thighs, and hips. Cup your hand over his genitals and hold it still for a moment. Press lightly, and begin to knead your hand in a barely discernable squeezing motion. Press his cock against him with the flat of your hand, and push it from side to side. You can gently cup his balls, and you can also rub his mons with flattened fingers, where his penis meets his body (you might want to review chapter 2, “The Anatomy of a Man’s Pleasure”). Next, warm the lubricant between your hands (remember, there is no such thing as too much lubricant) and move on to these massage techniques:

• Press the palm of your hand on the shaft his penis and slowly squeeze repeatedly, staying in one place on the shaft. Try this at the base, in the middle, at the top.

• Try stroking with fingertips only. Stroke, pull, knead, or tap them lightly up and down along the entire shaft.

• Grasp his cock and pull it downward, and use your other hand to press on his mons. You can hold his cock in place and rub the mons in a circular motion.

• Circle your hand around the base, and pull it to the end in one long, continuous stroke.

• Reverse the stroke, starting at the head and going from tip to base.

• Try the long stroke from the base, and add a gentle twist when you reach the head. This might be too intense for some men (the head is sensitive to stimulation), but others will love it. Experiment to see if he likes the twist at the head only, or along the shaft.

• Using one hand, begin one long stroke from the base, and when you reach the head, use your other hand to follow behind the first in another stroke.

• With fingers circled around the shaft, knead and pull.

• Add your other hand to cup, fondle, or gently tug on his testicles.

• You can apply strokes with his penis pointed up, down, or in the direction of either of his hips. Many men enjoy having their penis pulled downward and back, toward their butt, but some guys will find this uncomfortable. When in doubt, ask.

• Using two hands, clasp your fingers and wrap your hands around his cock. Stroke up, down, or up and down. You can twist your hands right and left.

• With clasped hands, hold his cock still and massage in little circles with your thumbs all over the shaft and head.

• Use the index fingers and thumbs of both hands to make firm rings around him. Stroke, pull, twist.

• Cup your hand over just the head, with your fingers extended down the shaft; twist back and forth as if to juice a lemon.

• Use two hands together, pressed flat against one another with his penis in between. Gently rub your hands together, or squeeze them together for up and down strokes.

• Experiment with cupping and tugging on his balls as you use one-handed strokes.

• Try strokes that begin at his balls and continue past the head of his penis.

• Good, old-fashioned up-and-down with one hand (or two) is always a winner. Vary the pressure and rhythm.

• Hold his penis at the base in one hand, and put the shaft between your index and middle fingers, giving a slight pinch as you stroke.

• Place one hand at the base and one at the top. Twist in opposite directions.

• On his perineum, gently stroke, knead, or rub in circles.

• Some men will love the addition of anal stimulation to a massage. You can massage just at the outside of his anal opening, or add penetration. See chapter 10, “More Techniques,” for details on anal play.

• Alternate any of these techniques with the open-hand massage you started with.

• If you choose to do a dry massage, you can add a twist by placing a soft fabric (like silk) between your hands and his cock. Dry massage is fun on uncircumcised men, because you can add pulling or rolling around of the foreskin. Be careful not to jerk too hard on the foreskin at the head of his cock when you use firm, pulling strokes.

Gauging His Response

When you’re massaging, nibbling or licking your guy, it’s easy to oversimplify his response to the pleasure you’re giving: erect cock equals good, soft cock equals bad. But that’s only part of the story, if it’s a part at all—not all men respond to intense pleasure and satisfaction with a hard-on. Guys who get erect and stay erect throughout the duration of a blow job or an erotic massage are still experiencing a range of reactions to different ways they’re being touched. Men whose penises fluctuate from hard to soft, or are mostly soft for the duration, will be feeling similarly, enjoying certain things you are doing more than others. But how do you know what he’s responding to, and what it means? Asking him what’s going on is ideal, though not always practical, or even possible.

She had her eyes on me the whole time. She went all the way to my balls, then came back slowly…

There will be times when all you have to go by is his body language, perhaps accompanied by moans, groans, sharp intakes of breath, and possibly some cute yummy noises. Learning to take cues from his body language is essential, especially when things begin to heat up. As he becomes more aroused, you’ll notice tension in his jaw or neck muscles, or he might tense the muscles in his thighs, curl his toes, or clench his fists. Ideally, he’ll let you know if he wants more of anything by telling you, but he may just move his pelvis: closer, away from you, right or left. He might reposition your hands or mouth. Some men might pull your head down with their hands, grinding upward into your face, grabbing your ears or hair—this might be hot for you or really not okay at all. If you don’t like having your head guided or touched, let him know before you get started that this activity is off the menu. But if it happens and you don’t like it, simply move his hands firmly to your shoulders or onto his own hips.

On one end of the response scale, some men are loud, vociferous, openly appreciative lovers who let you know how they feel about every stroke, while others are quiet and withdrawn as they savor the pleasure. Chances are he’s somewhere in the middle of the scale, but sometimes it’s hard to tell if he really likes the way you’re twisting your hand around the head, or if the pace of your strokes is fast or slow enough. When in doubt, try to have him show you what he likes; take his hand and gently place it where you’re unsure.

When incredible, roller-coaster-ride, death-defying sex occurs between two people, it’s because each know what the other wants. In sex, communication is crucial, and though it seems like a simple act, fellatio is no exception. Since every man is unique anatomically, all men respond to pleasurable touch differently. One man may like having his penis grabbed roughly, while another may only like it touched gently until he’s on the brink of orgasm. One man might like the intense suction that a mouth can provide, while another will love the way your mouth feels wrapped lightly around him, moving slowly. Also, different parts of his penis will like to be touched more than others—many men report having a “sweet spot,” though this spot can be in different places on different guys. Some men won’t have a favorite spot, or it might be in different places depending on the type of erotic play you’re sharing, his mood, or even the environment you’re in. Ask him what he likes, and chances are he’ll tell you.

Learn the anatomy of his penis and what places are sensitive to stimulation. Generally, the head, the underside of the head, and the ridge running along the underside of the penis are the more sensitive areas, but you should find out if he has a preference for where he likes to be touched—and when he likes to be touched there. For instance, the opening to his urethra (the piss slit) may be too sensitive to touch when you begin fellating him, but as he gets close to orgasm, flicking it with your tongue could drive him wild. Some men may love having their balls gently tugged during fellatio, but only at the beginning, middle, or end of the session. To really find out what he likes, you’re going to need to ask specific questions. If you ask him if it feels good, he’ll most likely say “yes” no matter what you’re doing, and that’s not enough information to go on. Here are some suggestions for questions:

• Do you like it (gripped, squeezed, tugged, stroked, licked) like this?

• Do you like being touched here? Ask this as you touch a spot with your tongue. Then touch another, and ask if he likes it more than the first. Then another…Stop and linger where he really likes it, and note that spot for later.

• Do you want it stroked harder? Softer?

• Do you want me to go faster? Slow down?

• Do you want it sucked harder? Softer?

• What else would you like me to do while I do this?

Foreplay Games for Lovers

A playful—and often very arousing—game that works on any body part is the One to Ten game. This delightful game is actually a sneaky strategy to determine his desired levels of stimulation, and it can be used throughout your lovemaking session. Because your lover’s excitement levels change throughout the sexual response cycle, this game can be a helpful tool with a noncommunicative partner when you’re trying to figure out what he likes. Here’s how to play:

Tell him that you want to hear a number between one and ten when you touch him. The number one means he wants the lightest possible touch, and a higher number turns up the volume, ten being the top of the scale. When you begin touching or licking, you’ll probably be at one, and as his arousal increases, so will the volume—and his arousal may go up and down, so pay attention. Try this out on any appealing erogenous zone: neck, nipples, the tip of his penis, testicles, perineum, or anus.

Of course, you can turn the tables with this game to conduct additional “research.” Have him lick, kiss, nibble, and suck on various parts of your body, telling you what one is to him, and you can find out what a ten really means to him. This may require hours of research and a number of experiments to determine the precise levels of application.

Lovers in the beginning stages of foreplay can play a fun game that’s basically an adult version of the children’s game Red Light, Green Light. This game helps you determine where his erogenous zones are and can be used with any type of touch: fingers, lips (kisses), tongue (licks), face (nuzzling), or if you’re daring, a sex toy or penis. To play this game, tell him that you’re going to touch him in different places all over his body (and be sure to tell him with what) and that you want him to tell you one of three colors in response; red, green, or yellow. Red means “No, don’t touch there”; yellow is neutral (but doesn’t mean “Stop”); and green is “Yes! Right there!” Take note of what he likes and when, and you’ll gradually become an unforgettably attentive, and incredibly desirable, lover.

You might want to try playing a little game called Sweet Surprise that pushes the boundaries of playfulness, trust, and power. First, assemble a variety of items that produce various physical sensations: pieces of silk, velvet, fur, rubber, or leather; ice and a cup of hot tea; a feather (or feathers); a vibrator; and if you already play with sensation a little, a small whip, a slapper, or some clips. Finally, a blindfold, and you.

Tell him that he is going to be the blindfolded subject of a sensation experiment. You can choose to allow him to see the assembled items beforehand, or not. You also have the option of restraining his wrists and ankles, if he agrees that this will enhance the game. Then, once he is blindfolded and his clothes are removed, begin touching him with different things, going slowly, using one item at a time. Ask him to identify the sensations as you go along—having him describe them to you will give you clues about how he’s responding. Alternate between touching him with a piece of fake fur or velvet, and your mouth. Work your way all over his body, saving his penis and testicles for last. Gradually increase the number of kisses and strokes you give him as you incorporate his cock into the mix. Use the ice and hot tea to warm and cool your mouth alternately, if you wish. Tell him to keep describing the way your mouth feels when you are going down on him. For more about blindfolds and how to use them, see chapter 10, “More Techniques.”