The Undead That Saved Christmas Vol. 2 (27 page)

Santa stopped and scolded the animal. “You turn back around you filthy abomination.”

Comet snarled.

The same nine reindeer have accompanied Santa on his delivery run every year for as far back as they could remember. Never once had Santa talked to one of his reindeer this way before.

“I said turn away you overgrown moose.”

Comet stopped prancing dead in his tracks. The sudden change in flight caused the sleigh to rock back and forth and it even did a complete 360 degree turn. Comet began to grunt as if it were communicating with the other reindeer and one by one they stopped prancing. Something was wrong with Santa and they knew it.

A siren blared as an elf’s voice broke through the speakers. “We have an unsafe drop in flight elevation. Santa, are you okay?”

Santa gowned as the sleigh continued to rock back and forth across the December night sky. The reindeer began to fly in all directions. Santa held on to the reins as to not fall overboard.

“Santa! Answer, please! We are monitoring the reindeers’ flight patterns; we have no idea what they are doing.” There was a pause from the speaker then the voice continued, but not addressed to Santa, “Check Santa’s vital signs. The reindeer would have rocked him out of the sleigh. Oh, Santa, why now?”

“We can’t find him,” another voice answered. “It’s like he fell off the face of the Earth.”

Santa began to huff and puff and felt his stomach grumble again. Nausea began to kick in and at that very moment he knew what his reindeer friends were trying to do.

Thank you, Comet.
He thought.

The sleigh continued to rock with the frantic voices of elves blaring through the built in speakers. And with each hard turn, Santa felt his nausea grow worse and worse.

Finally, it was time. Santa felt the vomit rise up to his throat. He could taste the scent of digested gingerbread and sour milk. He leaned over the sleigh and –

“Buaaaarrrrrrrffffffff.”

Chunks of white and brown vomit spewed across the sky, raining down on the poor zombie infected souls below. Santa panted and threw up some more. A tiny voice began to cry. “Noooo!” Santa heaved again and felt the small cookie exit his mouth.

“Noooooooooooo!” Ginger continued as the gingerbread cookie fell freely to the ground below.

Santa was shocked when he realized that the gingerbread cookie put itself back together inside his stomach. He sat back down on the sleigh as the reindeers calmed their rollercoaster flight.

“I can see Santa again,” a faint voice from the speakers said.

Another voice, a more authoritative elf voice said, “St. Nick, are you there? Answer or I will release Elf Squad Z-1 for an emergency search and rescue.”

The cool night breeze began to calm Santa as he sat. Finally feeling well enough to talk, Santa grabbed the radio headset and began talking, “This is Cringle One, reporting in.”

Cheers and overdramatic tears of joy blared through the speakers as the elves rejoiced the sudden communication with Santa.

“Santa, please listen to my caution. You have ignored my plea and almost suffered the consequences. Stop this madness and come back to the North Pole,” an elderly woman said.

The man in red felt his heart dropped. He thought that maybe, if he continued his toy delivery to the remaining families of Earth, people would be able to overcome this plague that has reanimated humans into mindless cannibals. But after almost being consumed by it, his safety was now a concern.

“Yes, dear,” Santa began and he pulled on the reins to signal the reindeer. They knew what that tug meant. The night was over and they were to start heading home. “I’m on my way back.”

* * *

“Nooooooo!” Ginger continued as she fell from the sleigh. Her cry suddenly stopped as she landed on top of a small soft patch of snow. “Oooof,” she groaned.

Ginger glanced around her surroundings and slowly sat up. She shook in an attempt to shake the dazed feeling she had. From her vantage point, Ginger saw Santa’s sleigh shoot through the sky as it made a U-turn and headed back to the North Pole.

“Dang-it,” Ginger cursed as she saw her plans fly away in an arch of magical light. It was her idea to infect Santa with the zombie plague and have the jolly ol’ fat man stop by the remaining living population to spread the disease. But now she had to come up with another plan.

Staring around the area, Ginger saw many infected wandering the dark streets. “Hey,” she said, and as she did, every zombie in her field of vision snapped their heads toward her. One of them moaned. “Listen up, you pus bags. We have a job to do. We’re going to go into every home in this neighborhood and check every nook and cranny for Normals.”

The zombies began to shamble over toward the yelling gingerbread cookie. Their movements were slow and lethargic, unlike Ginger who was filled with spit and fire.

“Can’t you guys hurry up?” She asked as the crowd surround her. She got a symphony of hellish moans, all crying in the tune of Christmas carols as a reply.

The undead surrounded her, each of them bumping into one another trying to get closer to Ginger. But none of them seemed to see her. They never looked down in her direction. She was only a few inches tall; if she wanted the zombies to look at her she was going to need to find higher ground.

Ginger ran to a nearby car, climbed up to the hood and continued yelling, “Can you guys see me now?”

The infected turned toward the noise again and walked faster toward the gingerbread cookie. They finally saw what was making the noise. It was not a Normal, but a cookie. This confused the dead. They didn’t know what else to do but take orders. There was about twenty infected circling the car that Ginger was standing on. They stood around as if they were soldiers waiting for orders.

Ginger leapt from the car toward an infected female. She grabbed on to its tattered clothes and climbed up to its shoulder. This gave Ginger a better look at the house. She pointed with her little hand to a blue house at the end of the street. “We will start at that house. Once we are done, we’ll move on to the next one,” she said.

Like soldiers in an army, the infected listened to the gingerbread cookie. They needed leadership to continue spreading their zombie virus, and Ginger was it.

* * *

Katie Long was only seven years old when her parents were murdered by zombies. She didn’t actually see it happen, but when her father said he was going out for supplies, then her mom saying that she was going to out to look for her dad, she knew that neither one of them was going to come back. Katie spent the next few days crying until she met a gingerbread cookie by the name of Pepper.

Pepper was wandering the streets, looking for a place to go. The Normals that baked him were killed by the infected only a few days after he came back to life. In his few days of life, he fell in love with his Normal family, mostly because they didn’t eat him. Since the zombies don’t really understand why there are living gingerbread cookies, they don’t see them as a threat. Pepper has been itching for a chance to get back at the zombies and when he heard Katie crying, he found his opening.

The two quickly became best friends, and played all sorts of games. Slowly, Pepper began revealing his plan to get back at the infected. He knew where to find more magical dough, and his plan was to create an army of gingerbread cookies.

It was now Christmas Day, and the entire house was filled with living gingerbread cookies.

“Pepper,” Katie said, trying to move around some of the cookies. She spotted Pepper, sharpening a candy cane to a point.

“Katie,” he said with a smile.

“Me and a couple of the other cookies are going to play hide and go seek. Do you wanna play?”

Pepper tested the candy cane point with his hand and felt the sharpness. It was sharp enough to puncture a hole in a zombies head and destroy the brain. He placed the cane with the other weapons and looked at Katie. She wore her one piece Christmas pajamas with a candy cane across the chest.

“So, do you?” she asked again.

“Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

* * *

“You five go around from the back,” Ginger said, giving orders and pointing. “Now you five go into that window over there. The rest of us will knock down the door.”

The zombies did as they were told. The window broke without a hitch and they climbed right up. The zombies at the front door had it broken in under a few minutes. They walked inside and began searching every inch of the house. There was no sign of any Normals hiding.

When Ginger was satisfied, she ordered them to meet in the front yard. Some of the zombies fell many times as they tried walking in the thick snow. They moved on to the next house on the street.

They didn’t find any Normals in that house, but they did find a few more zombies trapped in a bedroom. Ginger welcomed them into her army of dedicated infected.

Slowly, Ginger’s army grew bigger and bigger.

They moved on to the next house and bingo, they found a family of five hiding inside a bathroom. The Normals put up a fight, managing to destroy three of Ginger’s troops. But the army of undead was just too massive for them to survive. The zombies in the front got to eat as much flesh as possible before Ginger made them stop. Not too long after, the Normals had reawakened and replaced the destroyed infected in Ginger’s army.

They moved on to the next house.

* * *

“Pepper! Pepper!” two gingerbread cookies yelled as they came running into the house. “Pepper!”

Katie jumped out of her hiding spot. “What’s happening?” she asked.

The two gingerbread cookies continued to run passed her. They needed to find Pepper fast.

Pepper watched the two gingerbread cookies from his hiding spot. He was dangling from the ceiling fan, using a candy cane for a hook. He let go and came crashing down onto a soft pillow. “What’s happening?”

“Sir, we have news from the roof. There is a large group of crazy people coming closer to the house. They are stopping in each house and breaking in,” one of the cookies said.

“Sound the alarms,” Pepper said.

“There’s one more thing,” the other cookie said, panting.

“Spit it out already.”

“There’s a cookie on the shoulder of one of them. It kind of looks like she’s giving them orders.”

* * *

“Come on, hurry up!” Ginger yelled from the shoulder of the zombie she named Duty. With the way the zombies were moving, it would take Ginger decades to invade every home in the United States.

One of the zombie’s moaned starting a chain reaction of noise. Slowly, they began to wander away from the massive army of living dead.

“Where are you guys going?” Ginger asked, but was ignored.

Duty turned toward the zombies that were walking away from them. She began to follow.

Ginger’s ears began to twitch. She finally understood why the zombies were breaking off the main group and walking toward a large white two-story house.

“Normals,” Ginger muttered as Duty continued walking.

The rest of the army of zombies turned and followed the herd.

* * *

“What’s happening? What’s happening?” Katie yelled as the gingerbread cookies continued to run around her, grabbing their weapons and fortifying the house.

Pepper ran up to Katie and said, “Shhh. Quiet down. We can’t let them know we’re in here.”

“Are the scary people coming?” she asked.

Pepper nodded.

Katie ran into the kitchen and grabbed a sauce pan. She put it on her head like a helmet and grabbed an iron skillet. She ran back into the living room, passing Pepper and running to the top of the stairs.

That was the normal drill procedure. If their house was ever attacked by zombies, Katie was to grab her weapons and head for the top of the stairs. The rest of the army of gingerbread cookies would protect her at all costs. They loved Katie, and she loved all of them.

As Katie stood at the top of the stairs, they heard the first moan followed by a bang at the door. The gingerbread cookies pressed as much furniture to the door as possible.

Pepper ran to the top of the stairs and jumped out of an open window. He used the house gutters to climb to the roof where there was a group of twenty gingerbread cookies waiting for orders. Pepper peered over the side of the room to the lawn below. His mouth dropped as he saw about a hundred zombies. All of them heading for the front door.

“First wave, go!”

* * *

 Boiling hot chocolate fell from the roof to the zombies below. The chocolate acted as somewhat of an acid and began to boil the undeads’ scalp away. Once the acid reached their brains’ they fell to the ground.

“Keep moving forward,” Ginger yelled.

More zombies walked toward the front door and met the same fate.

Ginger glanced toward the roof only to see Pepper standing on the ledge.

“Move away from the door and break the windows.”

The zombies backed away from the acid rain and headed for the large window. They began banging on it with their hands.

“Break through!” Ginger yelled.

* * *

“Hurry! Move the pot!” Pepper yelled.

The gingerbread cookies who were working the pot began moving it toward the window. But as they did, they heard a voice yelled, “Now you over there, head for the door!”

It was then that Pepper realized that one pot of acid hot chocolate was not going to cut it. He ordered the gingerbread cookies to put the rest of it down and head inside the house.

Pepper ran back to the gutter and climbed down back into the house. Katie was sitting down with her legs crossed. The gingerbread cookies below were trying desperately to keep the zombies out. Pepper turned as the gingerbread cookies that were on the roof climbed in through the window.

“Fighting positions, everyone,” he said as he ran toward Katie.

“How many are out there?” she asked.

“Too many, but don’t worry. We’ll protect you.” As Pepper said that, the large window in the living room shattered into a million pieces.

* * *

“The window is broken, climb in but don’t engage. Get that door open!” Ginger yelled as she motioned for Duty to come closer to the door.