Authors: Iva Kenaz
The Witch Within (13 page)
The youngest, Rita and her aunt Otama escaped home after being charged with witchcraft. Otama has a healing gift and Rita has been her scholar since she turned six years-old. Otama had foreseen the danger and escaped, along with Rita who was to be condemned as well.
The two middle aged women, Libi and Brigita are childhood friends who had grown fond of each other with age, and their friendship turned into a romance. They are the only two of the group who willingly decided to leave society and live freely together as a couple.
Then there are the three young sisters who joined the group only recently – Myrun, Aesa and Yrsa. They are refugees from far north. They were pronounced “The Devil Brides” for their wild sensual behaviour. They still like to use their beatific beauty and excessive appetite for physical love to manipulate men. They were forced to become nomads after their family banished them.
Halla is the twenty year-old with one arm missing. She was pronounced a witch because of the disfigurement of the fingers on her right hand. They cut off her hand and sentenced her to death, but she managed to escape the day before her execution with the help of her brave lover, who was killed by some vicious thief while on the run. She was saved by a merchant, who advised her to hide in the Cursed Lands.
The twenty five year old Valdís also comes from a difficult background. She was married to a brutal man and after two years of both emotional and physical abuse, she gave birth to a mutilated child. Her husband killed the son and she ran away from him. She sought help in the nearest town, where she aligned with Sorcha, the old blind woman.
On their way to the north they met Edana and her sister Geira. Nobody really knows what happened to those two, they never speak of their past. Geira had most probably suffered some severe trauma and therefore stopped communicating to others. Edana has been keeping their story a secret and all that the women know of her is that she is the one who established this camp and has been very helpful in sustaining the group. She could be considered a leader, for she has also introduced the women to the skills of fighting and self-sustainable living.
I asked Sorcha several times if she wanted some peace, because her cough was getting worse with each word, but she was insistent that I stay and listen, because, as she claimed, she would cough either way. There certainly is something peculiar about Edana and Geira, but Sorcha told me not to ask, because they would not talk; although she told me Edana is very fond of me.
“But why? She doesn’t even know me.”
“She knows that only you can help her.”
“With what?”
Sorcha muses for a while and finally decides to answer, although in a lower tone than before.
“I’m worried about Edana these days. Her temper flares erratically sometimes. She has been taking her leader role too seriously. Sometimes I have the feeling that she has become overly proud and confident. Also, she has been praying to that black old altar. I don’t like that altar, although I have never really seen it, it gives me chills each time I get close to it.”
I'm glad that I'm not the only one who feels that way and since Sorcha shared my distrust, I have decided not to enter that cave again.
*
We started to dine during the sunset. I got to know the women better and I told them my story as well, finally not too shy to share what I have been through, because they have all experienced far worse than me. Besides the distant Geira, all the women have been very welcoming and friendly. Rita and Otama shared their knowledge of herbal medicine with me. We seem to agree on almost everything, the only thing that was new to me was the sacred mixture of plants, which is said to heal potency problems, and also behaves as a natural stimulant for men and women to increase their appetite for physical love. The three women with increased sensuality— Myrun, Aesa and Yrsa—have expressed interest in it, but Otama extinguished their curiosity by confronting them with the tough reality; there are no men around and we would not appreciate it if they got too wild. One of the three is eager to know if I have had some intimate experiences with men, and it makes me blush. Then they decided that Rita and I should lose our virginity soon. Rita told me that the three women are the most reckless of the group and Edana has been thinking of banishing them.
Oftentimes they would escape to the towns nearby to satisfy their overwhelming lust.
*
The moon takes over the skies and covers us in its mysterious light. Edana festively brings the basket of mushrooms to the fire and cuts them into thin small pieces. I notice the familiar flickering lights leaving the mushrooms right before she slides her dagger into them. I follow it with my eyes and notice the small child-like beings escaping, giggling as they dash off into the dark. I was hesitant at first, worried about the deadly poison, but then Edana explained the secret of this miraculous mushroom and I actually became curious.
“Our ancestors, particularly the sorceresses, knew the secret of these magical red beauties. The warriors of the old days used to eat them before battle, because these mushrooms made them frantic. It helped them to lose the fear of death and thus provided them with more power. Another effect of the mushroom was to penetrate the flux of time and allow people to see into the future. And so the warriors could foresee the plans of their enemies, and become almost indestructible.”
Now, as I have accepted one into my mouth, and started chewing on it, a wave of thrill runs through me. If I will be able to see into my future, everything will change for me, I won’t have to fear the uncertainty of life any more... but do I want to see? Isn’t it better to remain blind? It is too late to contemplate and so I lay myself on the grass and close my eyes to accelerate the magic of the mushroom guides. I forget about the women around me and retreat into my own inner world to seek advice. At first I experience a state of utmost peace, which tires my sense and soon I'm swallowed up by extreme fatigue. Although I try not to, I doze off into the dreamlands and sooner or later...
I dream in very bright intensified colours. It is uncomfortable yet fascinating at the same time. First, I behold Nathaniel’s face. He is in the cave with me and he touches my face gently. I kiss his hand. It’s as if we were lovers, he is very dear to me in this elusive passage of time and I'm certain that he holds me dear as well.
The beautiful moment vanishes into an empty void where I appear alone, breathing heavily. It seems as if I have just come to a tunnel, struggling through, trying to reach something or someone, but all I see is an empty dark space ahead of me – a void.
Then I see the altar, the dark, strange altar in the cave on the Cursed Mount. Someone passes the dark veil of time, or how I perceive it, and approaches it. It’s a woman in a black cape. I see her only from behind, her face remains neutral to my perception, yet I don’t like her, she makes me uncomfortable. She starts to pray over the altar and at one point it dawns on me – she has been pronouncing the solemn oaths! Familiar oaths...
But the language is undetectable, incomprehensible to my ears. Then she reaches into the basket that she is holding and takes out a pale, newly born, dead child.
I want to scream, but something blocks my throat. I try it again, nothing comes out. I touch my neck in despair, comforting myself as it has become too tense. I stare at that cloaked woman as she cradles the child, still praying to that empty cold altar. Then she starts humming a familiar and unfamiliar lullaby. I want to move but can’t. My feet seem to have grown into the ground, rooted in the filthy humid stone. I attempt to move my hand - it freezes in the movement. My whole body becomes rigid, I become a living statue! And in that horror I watch the woman place the child onto the altar and pronounce:
“
When the sacrifice has been made
When the five men have been slain
The sorceress will be forced to wake
And raise my slaves from their graves.”
The vision changes into another one where I see myself standing beneath the cloudy grey sky. Dry storms run through the clouds and shatter the intense silence. Then Algíz appears in front of me. She is not as calm as usual, she is frightened. She stands with her fist on the left side of her waist, as if her body is forming the letter Thurisaz. Then she reaches her right hand to me and says:
“I'm sorry I let us down. Please give me another chance. Please take me back.”
Although I feel sorry for her, she also repulses me in some way. I resist taking her hand and as she keeps stretching her hand to me, I notice that there’s an old scar on her palm, a scar that vivifies into a token shape, the symbol carved above our cave. Some latent force takes over my hand and in the frenzy I start drawing something into the air, not aware of what it is, but sensing that I'm unlocking or releasing something or someone.
My own cry awakes me. I realise I have been screaming and quiet myself instantly. Sorcha, the only one who hasn’t accepted the mushroom—thus the only one who is in her right mind—approaches me and calms me down. I feel as if I have a high fever and intense shivers are trying to win over it. My body trembles uncontrollably. Sorcha spreads her cape over me and caresses me, but I decline her help, for I start to feel sick in my stomach. I get up and dart to the bushes, throwing up violently, emptying my tortured belly. Only then I start to feel better and my mind clears. Sorcha hurries after me and pats my head.
“I'm not sure if this was a good idea, child. You have got to be careful. You have got to be very careful...”
I suppose she refers to the mushrooms, but I sense a double meaning in her words. She is warning me about something else as well.
I fall asleep in her arms. She takes good care of me and even sings me a lullaby, cradling me to sleep like a child. I can hear her heartbeat and it calms me down, it reminds me of the time my mother cradled me to sleep, that time when we were watching the full moon shining so brightly. I gaze up at the moon and then fatigue blocks my sight.
I awake before the sunrise, my head resting on Sorcha’s lap. Her hand feels heavy and cold on my forehead and as soon as I focus on her face, I see that she is dead. I stare at her in disbelief and perceive that her lovely innocent wrinkly face resembles that of a newly born child.
We buried Sorcha under a pile of rocks and mud and placed fresh moss over it so that it covered up the sad mound eventually. We decorated it with flowers as well and I made a simple wooden cross into which I carved the symbols I hold dear. Then we pronounced our silent prayers and Edana expressed her gratitude to mother earth, the mother of darkness, which I found rather strange, and also to her spirit guides. Most of the women later moved to the cave to pray some more, but I decided to stay outside and enjoy the fresh breeze and the joyful summer sun. I peeked into the cave though, only once, and noticed that Edana had placed Sorcha’s scarf and her pendant onto the altar. She has been distant today, more taken by Sorcha’s death than the others I suppose.
Now, as I wander around the camp, I notice that Valdís has been standing over Sorcha’s grave, absorbed in her thoughts. I join her, although quite grudgingly, and attempt to express my condolences.
“Sorcha told me how you two met, I’m sincerely sorry that you have lost her.”
Without looking at me, she starts to speak.
“You know how Sorcha lost her eyes? She willingly let them do it. There were more women like her, women who could foresee the future, including common incidents and the misfortune of others. The other people misunderstood them completely, they thought that they could not foresee, but actually cast spells that later become real.
Eventually, the local justice gave them a horrid choice – to die, or to lose their sight. Only one decided to die, the rest of them complied. They performed the blinding ritual in the forest by her home town. The women stood in rows and the tormentors kept saying that the upcoming suffering would cleanse their souls.”
I shiver at the thought of it. Valdís contemplates something before she continues speaking.
“Why do I now get the feeling that we are like those foolish women who willingly lost their eyes? Isn’t it better to die, than to be blind?”
Then she turns to me, her expression hard and cold. She remains quiet for a while.
“I was surprised by how well she accepted you. She didn’t like to talk much, you know? She usually kept to herself. You seem to make a good impression on everyone, but I will be honest with you, Talitha, I haven’t liked you from the start, since I overheard Sorcha’s presage. And I can tell, even more clearly now, that nothing good awaits us in your company.”
Her words pierce my heart. I'm speechless. My honest desire to get closer to her wanes, abruptly replaced with irritation.
How could she speak of me like that? She doesn’t even know me! I have had it with people who blindly condemn me before even taking the time to understand me. Valdís scrutinises me and then narrows her eyes.
“I'm not even sure that you are a sorceress. At least not the kind I could respect. What sorceress would impart herself in such a vile act? Sorcha was not sure whether this would be an act of good or evil, but with her death everything has cleared up for me. This IS pure evil.”
My irritation succumbs to confusion. She must be losing her mind. I'm not aware of pledging myself to anything guile. Edana disturbs us. Valdís turns to her in a frenzy and snarls:
“I was a fool for ever listening to you!”
She spits to the ground and sets off. Only now I notice that she has been holding a rather big leather sack which, most probably, contains her humble belongings. She must have been saying goodbye to Sorcha in her own way and now she is leaving. I turn to Edana, perplexed. Her face is unreadable, she shows no emotion, just lets out a sharp exhale of air. A cloud of mystery has surrounded this woman since the beginning, and even more now, since Valdís has confronted her and decided to leave so hastily.