The Year of Living Shamelessly (22 page)
Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
“More,” she whispered.
“More, what?” he asked as he plunged his cock deep into her.
She gasped as black dots danced before her eyes while white-hot heat lit up and sparked inside her.
More, what?
How could she answer that? More cock? More, please? More, Master?
More, what?
How could she answer that? More cock? More, please? More, Master?
Master? Was that what he wanted her to say? Forget it. She clawed at the quilt and dug her knees into the mattress. She wouldn’t call him that. She could last this out.
His pace was designed to drive her wild. A couple of short thrusts and then a deep plunge to remind her of what she wanted more than her next breath. She understood why he chose to place her in this position. He had all the control. She couldn’t see him, couldn’t touch him, and couldn’t set the pace. She was at his mercy.
Was it wrong to enjoy it so much?
“Please, Ryder.” The words escaped her mouth before she knew it.
“Please, what?” he asked. She noticed his voice was shaky, too. He had set this pace to make her submit, but he might be the first to surrender.
She closed her eyes, relishing the ache building in her body, ready to splinter inside her. “I need you.”
He slowed down.
“All of you.” She licked her lips. “Everything you have.”
Ryder’s hand tightened painfully on her hair before he released it. He clamped both hands on her hips and surged forward. Katie almost lost her balance as he drove into her. Oh . . . my . . . God . . . Ryder demonstrated his full power and strength as he set a fast, ferocious speed. There was no rhythm, no design. He showed her exactly how much he wanted to be deep inside her, to claim her. His control slipped and suddenly he was on top of her, tilting her hips, and he drove into her. His hoarse, animal cry echoed in her ears.
She couldn’t fight it anymore. She didn’t want to. Katie surrendered to Ryder, body, heart and soul. The ache inside her splintered and whirled. The pleasure mingled with pain and she heard her scream from a distance.
Ryder sagged against her. He was heavy, and his body almost too hot to touch, but she didn’t protest. As she gulped for air and her heart pounded hard in her ears, Katie knew she had him right where she wanted.
This was a beautiful start to a wild love affair.
Ryder watched Katie fall asleep in his arms. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she snuggled into him. He was surprised at the show of trust. He didn’t deserve it. And if he wasn’t careful, he would find himself doing the same to Katie and curling up against her, feeling safe and warm in her embrace.
The moment he’d tossed Katie over his shoulder in the club, he’d known they would wind up in bed together. He wanted it to happen, and he wouldn’t let Jake interfere, even though that would have been the safest course of action.
Ryder knew he had acted like a caveman, carrying Katie away. He had been uncivilized and he hadn’t cared. He had embraced it wholeheartedly. He never let himself get completely out of control, but there were moments when he skated right at the edge between control and recklessness.
Katie had provoked him and pushed him to the limit. Their battle of wills was more erotic than anything he had seen in the club. Katie had teased his senses and tempted him until he couldn’t see straight. She saw that he was a demanding lover who was more rough than romantic. But she was with him every step of the way, her enthusiastic response hitting him like an aphrodisiac.
Still, he should have been gentler. He wasn’t wrong about her. She was vanilla and he’d probably shocked her to the core. She was an eager lover and he found intense pleasure initiating her. He wanted to show her everything he knew and test her boundaries.
Ryder stiffened. What was he thinking? This was a one-time thing. If he let it continue she would see right through him and find out how unlovable he really was. He glanced down at Katie and saw that she was sleeping as if she hadn’t had a decent sleep for the past few nights. Ryder gently pulled away from her. She frowned and murmured something, but didn’t wake when he tucked a blanket around her nakedness.
Ryder sat up and slowly turned away from her. He was surprised that he hadn’t been knocked down with regret and shame for his failure to uphold just one simple rule: Don’t get into bed with Katie Kramer.
He was sure regret and shame would find him soon enough, but right now he wanted Katie one more time. He wasn’t restless or feeling empty. If anything, he wanted this sense of deep satisfaction to linger. Once more with Katie and then he’d put a stop to it.
Ryder winced at his promise. He should have known that one night with Katie was all that it would take to become addicted to her. He needed to stop this now.
Then again,
Katie
had wanted an affair. Ryder rubbed his hands over his face, knowing he was grabbing for the very idea he had hated a mere few days ago. But Katie wanted something hot and wild that lasted a few days, not some happily-ever-after fairy tale.
Katie
had wanted an affair. Ryder rubbed his hands over his face, knowing he was grabbing for the very idea he had hated a mere few days ago. But Katie wanted something hot and wild that lasted a few days, not some happily-ever-after fairy tale.
Which was a good thing, because he couldn’t give her that. A couple of weeks, maybe even a few months, and Katie would discover like everyone else that her prince was nothing more than a toad.
He didn’t want that to happen, and that meant he had to give her up now. Cold turkey. Once they returned to Crystal Bend, he had to leave her alone and not look back. It was the only way he would get through the next couple of days.
CHAPTER TEN
December 28
So much for being a beautiful start to a wild love affair, Katie thought glumly as she drove home from Seattle the next morning. She glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Ryder’s truck a couple of car lengths behind her. Even on the I-90, he was doing his best to keep his distance.
Last night had seemed to be perfect. She vaguely remembered Ryder tucking her in. She had been exhausted and a little fuzzy as he placed the sheets and quilt on her naked body, but it was a sweet gesture. Katie honestly believed it was yet another facet of his protective side.
It was only in the morning that she’d realized Ryder hadn’t slept in the same bed. And this morning he’d managed to keep a few feet, or a piece of furniture, between them in the small room at all times. Ryder wasn’t rude or cruel, but he was distant.
But it didn’t interfere with his need to protect and provide for her. Katie noticed that Ryder made sure she ate breakfast. He also checked her car before they headed out of the city, and made sure she had everything she needed. But he barely spoke to her and the strained silence between them was unbearable.
What she needed was a hug. Maybe some reassurance that the previous night had been a major event in his life, too. But she saw how Ryder tensed when she looked in his direction, or took a step back when she approached. If she was more confident, or felt more powerful, she wouldn’t have let it get in her way.
So much for waking up with him by her side. Or snuggling in his arms. Katie sighed and pulled her gaze away from the rearview mirror. Why did she think last night would have brought them closer? Had she learned nothing? If anything, she was back to square one. Maybe even further than that.
“Are you always this quiet the morning after?” Hilary asked from the passenger side. She gobbled down a cinnamon chip scone and knocked it back with a hot chocolate and extra whipped cream.
“No, I usually sing ‘Like a Virgin’ at the top of my lungs,” Katie deadpanned and immediately regretted it as the song started to loop in her head. “Do you always get a sugar fix on your morning after?”
“I do when I don’t get any,” Hilary muttered before wolfing down the rest of the scone.
“Say what?” Katie’s car swerved and she immediately righted it, hoping Ryder didn’t notice, but that man missed nothing.
“You heard me.” Hilary took a fortifying sip of her hot chocolate. “I thought I was going to get lucky last night. Jake takes me out of the club and rents a hotel room for us. And guess what?”
Katie hunched her shoulders. Did she really want to know about her brother’s exploits or, uh, underperformance? “I’m almost afraid to ask.”
“Nothing!” Hilary splayed her hands in the air. “That’s what happened. Absolutely freaking nothing.”
Katie frowned. Was she missing something? “My brother didn’t lay a hand on you?” she verified.
Hilary looked out the passenger window. “He slept on the floor. I don’t think he knew I was in the room,” she said softly.
Ouch. That had to hurt. “I am so sorry.”
Her friend shrugged. “When a woman spends the night with a womanizer and he doesn’t make a move on her, then she has hit an all-time low.”
“Womanizer?” Great, now Britney Spears’s song was going through her head. It was going to be that kind of morning.
“What else would you call Jake?” Hilary asked. “The guy only dates sex-crazed bimbos.”
No, he had some variety like . . . well . . . Katie clucked her tongue. “You’re right. He’s a womanizer.”
“Let’s just keep my night a secret, okay?” Hilary pleaded with Katie. “I don’t think I could handle anyone knowing that I failed to seduce Jake.”
Katie pressed her hand against her heart and vowed, “I’ll take your secret to the grave.”
“Thank you.” Hilary straightened her shoulders and pulled down the sun visor to check her appearance. “I look like a raccoon. You should have told me it would take a chisel to get all this makeup off.”
“I thought a genius like you knew it was going to take more than soap and water.”
“I use my brainpower to fight the forces of evil.” Hilary rubbed the black mascara circles from under her eyes. “I can’t spare it on things like makeup and dating.”
“Maybe that can be your New Year’s resolution,” Katie said slyly.
“No way,” Hilary said and snapped the visor closed. “I refuse to take part in that antiquated custom. Next you’ll stuff black-eyed peas and cabbage down my throat.”
“Hey, those are for good luck on New Year’s Day.”
“Don’t get me started on the whole concept of getting lucky. But wait a minute!” She turned and faced Katie. “You keep changing the subject on me. Tell me about your night.”
Katie groaned. She didn’t feel up to discussing it, but she was trapped in the car with Hilary.
“Come on. How was it?” Hilary leaned over her seat and looked down at the gas and brake pedals. “Oh, I guess it wasn’t that great. I’m so sorry.”
Katie cast a curious look at her friend. “Why do you say that?”
“Katie, you’re wearing ballet slippers.” Hilary patted Katie’s arm with sympathy. “You needed a cinnamon scone more than I did. Why didn’t you tell me?”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“When I see you wearing ballet slippers, it is the equivalent of me pouring sugar packs down my throat. Stop at the next Starbucks and I’ll find you something sugary.”
Katie wiggled her foot and gave a quick glance at her black ballet slippers. “Are you saying my shoes reflect my mood?”
“No, just the height of your heels. I’ve noticed the phenomenon this year. When you’re ready to take on the world, you wear your highest heels. When you’re feeling unsure, you wear flats.”
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