The Year of Living Shamelessly (19 page)

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Authors: Susanna Carr

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Year of Living Shamelessly
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A knot formed in the pit of his stomach. This couldn’t be good. “It wouldn’t be the bondage club in Seattle, would it?” he asked, his voice clipped with cold anger.
 
Melissa slowly nodded her head. “She and Hilary just left. How did you know?”
 
“I know Katie.” And she had gone too far this time. He was going after her, just like she wanted. Only this time she would reap what she sowed.
 
 
 
 
 
“Okay . . .” Hilary looked around the bondage club. “This isn’t what I was expecting.”
 
Katie nodded slowly. The club was a renovated hotel in downtown Seattle. It was decorated in the Regency period, with a lot of wood paneling, settees and delicate chairs, and gold-framed portraits of fox-hunting scenes.
 
She wasn’t sure what she had expected. Maybe a little dance music, a strobe light or two, and plenty of booze. “It looks like a gentleman’s club,” she muttered from the side of her mouth. “The kind you see in those Jane Austen-type movies.”
 
“Do me a favor,” Hilary said in a whisper, “and don’t ever use the words ‘Jane Austen’ when you talk about bondage.”
 
“I’ll try my best.” She clapped her mouth closed when she saw a woman in a designer dress guide a man out of the room using a leash. They walked to the elevators as if nothing was unusual. “Do you think we’re dressed wrong?”
 
“I think we have newbie written all over us,” Hilary said. “Let’s hope they don’t have any initiation rites.”
 
Panic bloomed in Katie’s chest. She hadn’t thought of that. “If anyone asks, we’re doing research.”
 
Hilary rolled her eyes. “Yeah, that’ll go over well. Face it, Katie. This was not one of your better ideas. Melissa was smart to stay back in Crystal Bend.”
 
Katie clucked her tongue. She hadn’t been able to convince Melissa to join them on this grand adventure, no matter how much she begged and bribed. “What could possibly go wrong?”
 
“Do you want me to list it alphabetically or chronologically?”
 
There was no way they would face that many problems. “We have to give consent for anything to happen,” Katie reminded her friend.
 
“In theory.” Hilary stepped in front of a mirror with an ornate frame and checked her hair. She had straightened her red mop and it hung past her shoulders like silk, and she’d gone for broke with the black eyeliner and red lipstick. The snug black T-shirt, PVC pants and heels completed the transformation. Hilary looked less like a research librarian and more like a tough dominatrix.
 
“Well, I understand your concerns,” Katie said as she watched Hilary dab her finger along the edge of her full red mouth. “But I’m not leaving until I know what Ryder wants in a relationship where he is dominant and I’m submissive.”
 
“I did a little bit of fact-checking on this before we left.” Hilary puckered her lips at her reflection. “BDSM is a sexual game based on fantasy.”
 
Katie was all for fantasy. She had too many fantasies and knew what it felt like wanting each and every one of them to come true. “I can totally be his fantasy girl.”
 
“It’s considered an art, and . . .” Her eyes widened as she looked in the mirror, and then she cast a quick glance over her shoulder. “Someone is coming over here. Let’s go.”
 
Katie was tempted to make a run for it as a very tall, large, muscular man approached them. “It’s probably the, uh, bouncer.”
 
“No, I think that was the shirtless guy with the executioner’s mask that we passed when we came in.”
 
“Welcome to the center,” the man said. He was dressed in a pin-striped suit and wore a red carnation boutonniere. “Your first visit?”
 
“How could you tell?” Hilary muttered, stepping closer to Katie. Katie couldn’t tell if Hilary was offering protection or using her as a shield.
 
The man smiled. “I know all the members.”
 
“Members? Oh, you mean you need a membership to be here? Shucks.” Hilary snapped her fingers. “I guess we have to leave.”
 
“Not at all.” He motioned at the double doors the one couple had walked out of. “There are some meeting rooms here for visitors. The members have access to the rest of the center.”
 
“Rooms?” Hilary parroted. “What happens in these rooms?”
 
The man’s smile widened. “Whatever your imagination allows.”
 
Katie felt her throat tighten and she gave a little hoarse cough. “We’re just doing some research.”
 
“Personal research,” Hilary added.
 
“Ah.” The man’s eyes lit with understanding. “You’re just curious, but not committed.”
 
Katie gave a swift elbow to Hilary’s stomach, knowing she was going to make some committed-in-an-institution comment. “Exactly.”
 
“I was going to ask if you were a top or a bottom.”
 
“Excuse me?” Katie looked down at her outfit as the man studied her. What was wrong with her PVC vest, black miniskirt and knee-high leather boots? Sure, her magazines hadn’t recommended this particular combination—she couldn’t find any helpful advice on what to wear at a bondage scene—but she thought she looked edgy enough. She was even inspired to wear a velvet choker as her only accessory.
 
“A top is the dominant one, and those shoes you are wearing are a submissive’s dream.”
 
“Maybe that’s why Ryder hates them,” she muttered to Hilary.
 
“But the choker,” the man said, “is a sign that you are already claimed by a dominant.”
 
Katie’s hand went straight to her throat. “That is what it means?” A thought occurred to her. “What if it’s a regular piece of jewelry?”
 
The man considered the question. “Any piece of jewelry could be considered a symbol. Many think a wedding ring is a public claim.”
 
Katie grinned. That must be why Ryder had given her those earrings instead of a Christmas ornament.
 
A woman wearing a simple black dress approached the man. She bowed low, her eyes downcast. “Excuse me, sir. May I have a word?”
 
The man excused himself and the woman trailed behind him. “His submissive?” Hilary asked.
 
Katie smiled wryly. “Obviously you don’t work in an office. That was his assistant.”
 
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I think we’ve learned a lot. Walk three steps behind your boss and don’t wear a choker with dominatrix boots. What more is there to discover?”
 
“Hilary, we haven’t looked in the other rooms.”
 
She looked at the double doors from the corner of her eye. “I think I would like to keep it that way.”
 
“I thought you wanted an anthropological experience. You of all people should have an adventurous spirit and an open mind.”
 
“Yeah, but I don’t want to require a mind eraser after this night.” Hilary took a deep breath. “Okay, we’ll go look, but only for ten minutes.”
 
“A half hour,” Katie bargained.
 
“Twenty minutes and then we go back to our hotel room and do something more our speed, like eat everything in the minibar and watch
Golden Girls
.”
 
“Fine. You drive a hard bargain,” Katie said as she headed for the double doors. The closer she got, the more it sounded like a party was going on behind the doors. “And the next twenty minutes are going to fly right by. You’ll see.”
 
She opened one of the doors and dragged Hilary inside. The room was shadowy and packed with people. She saw the gleam of chains and inhaled the rich scent of leather. She twisted her head and gawked at the riding crop in an elderly woman’s hand. Katie grabbed for Hilary’s arm and held her close as they navigated the dark room with shuffling steps.
 
“Oops!” Katie tripped and would have done a face plant if Hilary hadn’t been holding her up. Katie looked down and saw a young athletic man kneeling on the floor in front of his master. “Sorry!”
 
Katie was beginning to believe that Ryder had a valid point. She was not ready for this place. She didn’t think she would last the whole twenty minutes. “So . . . what do you think?”
 
“I think the bar is over in that corner,” Hilary yelled over the noise.
 
Katie gave her friend a strange look. “We just walked by a grandmother in a leather bustier, a half-naked guy kneeling on the floor waiting for his next command, and all you can see is the bar?”
 
Hilary shrugged. “It’s a gift.”
 
“And a helpful one,” Katie decided. “Lead me there.”
 
They took a couple of steps, when Hilary skidded to a halt. “Huh, well, that’s interesting.”
 
Katie couldn’t imagine what would have captured Hilary’s attention in this room. “What is?”
 
She craned her neck to get a better view. “I think I just saw Darwin.”
 
“Darwin?” Katie’s voice squeaked.
“Darwin Jones?”
She instinctively ducked.
 
“How many Darwins do you know?”
 
“One more than I should. What is he doing here?”
 
“Well, it’s logical that he should be here since he’s the one who gave me directions to this place.”
 
“What?” Katie jerked Hilary down to squat next to her. “I thought Jake gave it to you.”
 
“He wouldn’t. So I asked around and Darwin was the only one who would fess up to knowing this place.”
 
Katie rubbed her aching head. “I don’t believe this.”
 
“Uh, let’s just get to the bar and plan our next move,” Hilary said as she pulled Katie up. “People are staring at us.”
 
“Staring at us? We’re the most normal people here.”
 
“Now where is your open mind?” Hilary teased as she herded Katie through the crowd to the bar. “They say BDSM is an art, but I’m thinking it’s more like a different world.”
 
“I won’t argue with you on that one,” Katie said as she rested her arms on the bar.
 
“Think about it,” Hilary said. “Their clothes represent something about them, and they have their own vocabulary. They have a set of rules and expected behaviors.”
 
Katie nodded as she flagged down a bartender.
 
“The question is: Do you want to be part of this world?”
 
Katie had been wondering that the moment they arrived.“There is no easy answer to that question,” Katie finally said. She wanted to be with Ryder, but she wasn’t interested in anything she saw here.
 
She liked the idea of being with Ryder because he was rougher around the edges than any man she knew, but she hadn’t experienced enough of his dangerous side yet. And while she was fine with the blindfold, she had taken it off when she was fed up with it. Maybe she was as bratty as Ryder accused her of being, because she wasn’t into depriving herself.
 
Then again, she loved it when Ryder was protective and possessive. Also, her secret fantasy was to tie him up and have her wicked way with him, so she must have some kink in her. And she wouldn’t be opposed to the idea of reversing positions as long as Ryder was overwhelmed with desire for her.
 
But would she have to give up her sexual fantasies to hang on to Ryder? Was she in love with a man who was sexually incompatible with her?
 
But maybe she was looking at it wrong. Would being with Ryder open up a new and exciting world? Would it tap into fantasies she was too unsure of to uncover?
 
“Oh, no.” Hilary set down her drink with a thud. “Darwin is wearing the same pants that I am.”
 
Katie froze, knowing from past experience it was best not to make any sudden moves. “He spotted us?”
 
“No, he’s making the rounds. Tell me the truth, do I look better in these pants than Darwin does?” Hilary did a fashion model turn.
 
“Yes, of course.”
 
Hilary gave a sigh of exasperation. “You didn’t even look at him to make the comparison.”
 
“Where is he?” Katie looked in the direction Hilary had indicated earlier. Did she really want to see Darwin in PVC?

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