The Year of Living Shamelessly (17 page)
Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
Katie continued to stare silently at Ryder. If she responded like this to his mere touch, she couldn’t wait for the moment when he would tumble into her bed. Her hand was still a little shaky as she flattened it against his chest. She was pleased to feel the thunderous beat of his heart, knowing that it matched her own.
Katie let her hand drift down to Ryder’s lean waist and she tugged at his shirt. Ryder held her hand still. “No.”
“No?” Maybe she hadn’t heard him correctly. Her heart was pounding hard in her ears. “Don’t you think you’re overdressed?”
He shook his head. “You took off your blindfold.”
Oh, yeah. He noticed that. “It . . . fell?”
A wry smile pulled at his mouth. “You pushed it off.”
She wouldn’t be able to talk her way out of that. “So?”
“You didn’t follow instructions, so it stops here.” Ryder let his arms drop.
She stared at him in astonishment. “You want to stop?
Now?
” How could he suggest such a thing when her body was clamoring for more?
Now?
” How could he suggest such a thing when her body was clamoring for more?
“You knew the consequences,” he said in all seriousness.
“But . . . but . . .” Her mind whirled as she tried to come up with a good comeback. “But why should
you
be punished?”
you
be punished?”
He smiled, the grooves by his mouth deepening. “I’m not going to fall for that line of reasoning.”
“Why didn’t you stop the moment the blindfold was off ?” she asked as she closed in on him and linked her arms over his strong shoulders.
He looked down at her eyes and the smile vanished. “Because that would have been cruel.”
“That’s not why,” she said as she slid her hand through his tousled hair. “You were caught up in the moment, too. Come on, Ryder. It’s cruel to stop now.”
“No.” He lifted his hands up. “You can’t follow the rules.”
Screw the rules!
she wanted to say. Scream it until the walls came tumbling down. But she had agreed to the rules, and followed them up to a point.
she wanted to say. Scream it until the walls came tumbling down. But she had agreed to the rules, and followed them up to a point.
“I wore the blindfold most of the time,” she pointed out, rubbing her naked body against him in hopes of distracting him. “That should count for something.”
The doorbell rang. Three short staccato rings that made Katie jump. Damn, who could that be? “Ignore it,” she urged.
Ryder reluctantly dragged his gaze from her and toward the hallway. “It’s your brother.”
She took an instinctive step back into the darkness, knowing she couldn’t be seen through the window if she stood in this corner of the room. “How can you tell that from here?”
“I just can.” Ryder turned away, walked stiffly to the Christmas tree and scooped up her discarded dress and practically threw it at her. “Here, put this on before Jake remembers he has a key.”
“We don’t have to answer,” she whispered as she clasped the dress to her chest. “He’ll go away soon.”
“I parked out front,” he reminded her and went to the door.
Katie squeezed her eyes shut. Why did Jake have to drop by the day Ryder parked in front of the house? She shoved her arms in the sleeves with more violence than she intended. Life was so unfair, she decided as she heard the front door open.
“Hey, Ryder,” Jake’s voice carried into the living room. “Sorry I’m late.”
Katie stopped tying her sash around her waist. Late? Ryder made plans with Jake? She couldn’t hear Ryder’s response.
“Why did I have to come by here and knock if I saw your car?” Jake asked. “Is Katie bugging you again?”
Katie bit her bottom lip and she sagged against the wall. Ryder had planned everything so they wouldn’t have sex. The hurt, the disappointment gnawed at her stomach, but she remained perfectly still. She wanted to hide, but she bet Ryder was counting on that.
“No, I’m not bugging Ryder,” she called out, hoping she sounded normal as the hurt clawed inside. Her throat felt raw as she fought to act nonchalant. Katie shoved her feet in her shoes and saw the blindfold on the floor. She grabbed it before she strode into the hallway.
“He may be a carpenter,” Jake said as he stamped the snow from his feet and blew on his cold hands, “but he is not your personal handyman.”
“I’ll keep that in mind,” Katie said, refusing to look at Ryder. “Don’t let me keep you, Ryder. Let me get your coat.”
“I’m sorry, Katie.”
Sorry for what? she wondered as she opened the closet door. For stopping? For setting up an elaborate plan to prevent them from having sex?
Every move he made had been working toward this moment. Parking in front. The slow, deliberate lovemaking. He hadn’t taken off one article of his own clothing, doing his best to fend her off until her brother interrupted.
She felt like such a fool. She handed Ryder his coat when she really wanted to throw it at him.
“Are you feeling okay, Katie?” Jake asked.
“I’m fine,” she said with her hands on her hips. And she would be until they walked out that door. Then she would stuff her face with the last of the Christmas candy.
Jake scrunched up his face as he gave her an odd look. “You seem kind of out of it. And you look . . .”
“I’m just tired. I
was
planning to go to bed.” She gave a pointed look at Ryder.
was
planning to go to bed.” She gave a pointed look at Ryder.
“We’ll be out of your way,” Ryder said as he zipped up his coat. “Ready, Jake?”
As Jake stepped outside, a devilish urge tickled Katie. “Oh, Ryder,” she said sweetly. “I think you forgot this.” She held out the blindfold.
Ryder gave her a warning look. “Keep it. It’s yours.”
“Because I earned it?”
“No,” he answered as he reached for the door, a flash of regret in his eyes. “Because that is all you’re going to get from me.”
She stared as the door closed and she heard Ryder’s and Jake’s feet shuffling in the slushy snow. Katie bunched up the blindfold and threw it at the door. It floated to the floor. Was this supposed to be some kind of souvenir? Of what might have been? Well, she didn’t want it. And if Ryder thought they were done, then he didn’t know her at all.
She whirled around and marched into the kitchen, determined to polish off the last of the peppermint bark and come up with Plan B.
Whatever that might be.
He should have stood her up.
Ryder kept his head down, staring at the snow as he headed for his truck. He always tried to keep his promises, but this time he should have made an exception. Instead of giving Katie a taste of something special, he had hurt her.
But there was no way he could have given Katie the whole night. He was supposed to be initiating her into the art of submission, nothing more. He hadn’t trusted himself, and he’d done the one thing he never thought he’d have to do: he called Jake for reinforcement. It was a sign that his self-control was not what it used to be.
Ryder had staged the interruption for Katie’s own good. So why did he feel like scum? He wanted to go back into the house, gather her in his arms and apologize. And then he wanted to start all over and not finish until Katie exhausted her imagination. That would take some time.
“You never can say no to Katie.”
Ryder jerked his head up. “Huh?” Something close to panic kicked him in the gut. Had Jake caught on to the vibes that sizzled between Katie and him? It was bound to happen sooner or later. He just wished it could have happened when he was already halfway across the world.
“What is it with you two?” Jake gestured at the house. “She asks you for a favor and you always give in.”
Relief flooded through Ryder’s veins. Jake had no idea what had just happened. If he had, Ryder would be dead meat.
Ryder scowled at his friend. “I don’t always give in.” But he did. Each and every time. He liked being wanted. Needed. Most of all, he wanted to take care of Katie. He didn’t expect anything in return or any kind of acknowledgment. Just looking after Katie brought him satisfaction.
Ryder noticed that Katie took care of him, too, in a thousand different ways, big and small. She didn’t ask for anything when she made him a home-cooked meal or did something to make his life easier. He enjoyed the attention. It made him feel important and loved.
“Well, she’ll learn her lesson,” Jake muttered as he trudged through the snow to his truck. “She can’t rely on you anymore.”
Ryder’s lips twisted in self-disgust. Katie had already learned that tonight. She’d discovered that he broke his promise, and that she couldn’t trust his word. Not exactly the lesson he wanted to give her, but there was nothing he could do about it now.
“Once you leave, who is she going to call for help?” Jake asked as he continued his rant.
“Uh, you,” Ryder said as he walked to the driver’s door of his truck.
Jake snorted at the idea. “Think again.”
Ryder’s hand stilled on the door. “You’re her brother.”
“Let’s face it, Katie is a brat. Always has been, because she knows she has you wrapped around her finger.”
So it was his fault? Fine. He’d take the blame. He kind of liked the idea that he’d had some influence in shaping the woman Katie had become.
“Good thing I’m leaving, then,” Ryder said, yanking the truck door open. It wouldn’t be long before Katie realized the full extent of her power over him.
“Tell me about it. I don’t trust her around you.”
Ryder froze as Jake’s words cut through him like a sharp knife. “What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I get that, as an only child, you find the idea of a little sister fascinating. I would have thought that by now you would have realized it’s not like in the sitcoms. Little sisters are hell.”
“Thanks for the insight.”
“Katie is not the sweet girl you think she is. If she wants something, nothing will stand in her way until she gets it. And if she thinks you have a soft spot for her, the power will go to her head. You will be her exclusive handyman and be at her beck and call.”
“I think I can handle Katie.”
“Yeah? Then why did you call me to interfere tonight?” Ryder’s scowl deepened. They both knew the answer to that. He was already in Katie’s power.
Jake laughed. “Come on, let’s go find some girls. Tatum was looking for you a while ago.”
Ryder didn’t want to be around Tatum and her friends. He would rather be alone. No, that was a lie. He would rather be with Katie right now, finishing what they’d started. Ryder looked at the house. It was warm, inviting, and beckoning him to go back inside.
But he couldn’t. He only had a few more days left and then he could let his guard down. Until then, he wouldn’t be alone for any length of time. He would stick to Jake’s side as much as he could. That would keep him away from Katie.
She had probably washed her hands of him already. Either that or she was going to do something drastic to get him into her bed. He had a feeling it was going to be something daring and stupid.
“Let’s go play pool,” Ryder told Jake. He got in his truck and revved the engine, forcing himself to leave Katie when every instinct screamed for him to stay.
CHAPTER EIGHT
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