The Year of Living Shamelessly (18 page)

Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online

Authors: Susanna Carr

Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary

BOOK: The Year of Living Shamelessly
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December 27
 
 
 
 
 
Katie stood in front of the Merrill house early in the morning, stuffing her gloved hands into her coat pockets and hunching her shoulders as the arctic air tugged her long black hair. She usually visited the abandoned and neglected house when she needed to think or to recharge. There was something about the yellow two-story farmhouse that usually brought her comfort, but today she found no peace.
 
Katie walked along the outside of the wraparound porch, not really noticing the missing rails or the boarded-up windows. The white paint on the trim was peeling in chunks and the wood railings were streaked with green moss. This house needed attention, and fast.
 
Her friends and family couldn’t see the beauty of this house. They called it an eyesore or a money pit, and they thought she was only interested in it because it would be the ultimate renovation project, the ultimate challenge.
 
It wasn’t true. Katie slowly walked around the house, carefully stepping on the cracked sidewalk that was still covered in snow. When she looked at the Merrill house, she wasn’t thinking about color combinations or interior decorations. She thought in words and emotions like
cozy
,
safe
,
love
and
family
.
 
In her mind, that family included Ryder and maybe a few kids. She was kind of hazy on the children part. All that mattered was that she and Ryder were the strong center. And she would do whatever it took to protect that idea of family.
 
But she didn’t think she would have to struggle so early. How could Ryder have walked away from her? Worse, he had planned it from the beginning. He wanted her, but he wouldn’t take her.
 
It must be true that Ryder thought she was too innocent for the likes of him. He spent years protecting her from the hormone-crazed guys of Crystal Bend, unaware that Katie was able to handle them before her reinvention. If there was anyone a “good girl” shouldn’t have, it was Ryder, so of course Ryder had to protect her from himself!
 
She had to break through Ryder’s misplaced chivalry, but she only had five days left. If only she knew how to hold his attention . . . but that required having some kinky knowledge. How was she going to become an expert in bondage in that short amount of time?
 
Well, she knew how, Katie thought as she strolled around the back of the house. She just didn’t think she had the courage to follow through with it. How far was she willing to go to get the man and the life she wanted?
 
She knew she wasn’t very brave or bold. Hilary had pointed out that Katie dressed like a kick-ass woman but would give up all her power to fall into bed with the right guy. Ryder thought her beauty and strength came from being soft and sweet. Her mother thought anything traditionally female was a sign of weakness.
 
Katie knew that, compared to most women her age, her goal and her beliefs were unpopular. Was she the only one who thought a powerful woman was someone who took care of those around her and protected her relationships no matter the cost? Even if it meant surrendering or making a sacrifice.
 
Or did that mean she was simply weak? Sometimes relinquishing control could be the most powerful act, but only in certain cases. Was it the best course of action for her?
 
Katie gnawed on her bottom lip as she gave the Merrill house one last look before walking to the pitted, unkempt driveway. She knew what she wanted in life and she had the ability to get it if she could work up the courage. How far she was willing to go would determine her success. She rolled her shoulders back and there was a spring in her step. She
was
prepared to go all the way.
 
Katie retrieved her cell phone from her coat pocket and hit speed dial. Within moments she heard her friend’s voice.
 
“Hilary, how would you like to go to a bondage club tonight?”
 
There was a pause before Hilary responded. “I don’t think I have anything appropriate to wear for the occasion.”
 
Katie was surprised that Hilary would worry about that. “You can borrow my PVC pants,” she offered. “So how about it?”
 
“Sure, why not? I’m always up for an anthropological field trip.”
 
 
 
 
 
 
“Ryder, it’s your turn.”
 
He was going to stay far away from her. It was the only way to handle Katie Kramer. He was willing to admit it, now that he had pulled back from the brink of disaster. Now that he had gotten her hot, wet and willing. He could not be trusted around that woman. He’d known it all along, but now he had proof.
 
“Ryder?”
 
Avoidance was the only way to go. Sure, it sounded cowardly, but now it was a matter of self-preservation. If he saw her again, or even heard her voice, there was no telling what he would do.
 
“Ryder!”
 
He blinked and looked around the pool hall. It seemed darker than a moment ago. Louder, too. He rubbed his eyes and looked at Art, his former coworker. “What?”
 
“I won,” Art proclaimed.
 
“You did?” How the hell did that happen? Art never won. Ryder glanced at the pool table and noticed the game was over. He’d barely even had a turn.
 
The pool table was a dark green, just like Katie’s Christmas tree. The one she’d stood in front of as she took off her dress. . . .
 
“You are so out of it.” Art slapped him on the back. “Dreaming about Dubai, aren’t you? Those beautiful beaches.”
 
“That’s right,” Ryder lied. He was thinking about Katie. Hadn’t stopped thinking about her since he walked out of her house. He couldn’t sleep, couldn’t eat, and obviously couldn’t play pool. Pretty soon he wasn’t going to be able to function. He had to snap out of it. “Another game?”
 
Art hesitated and shook his head. “Nah, too easy.”
 
Ryder’s eyebrows went up, but he didn’t rise to the challenge. He knew he wasn’t at the top of his game. He was too busy wondering what Katie was up to. Ryder grabbed his cell phone and looked to see if there were any incoming calls.
 
Nothing.
 
“You keep looking at that phone. What’s up with that?”
 
Ryder shrugged. He had called Katie a couple of times to check—and he’d left a message—but she hadn’t returned his call. That was unprecedented.
 
Either he’d really hurt her feelings last night to the extent that now she couldn’t stand the sight of him or she was shaking things up to keep him on his toes. Whatever she was doing, it was effective. He thought about her all day. He’d been distracted and grumpy, which more than one person had been happy to point out.
 
Five more days. He only had to avoid her for five more days. That was less than a week. It should be easy. Except for when he closed his eyes and remembered what she looked like, blindfolded and wearing next to nothing, waiting for his touch. . . .
 
Ryder jerked out of the daydream and stifled a groan. He didn’t think he was going to survive.
 
He slid his cell phone back into his pocket. If he didn’t hear from Katie soon, he might break down and go back to her house. He was kind of hoping to avoid that.
 
“Hey, Art. Have you seen Katie Kramer today?”
 
“Yeah,” he said and grinned.
 
“What’s with the smile?”
 
Art’s smile widened. “She was wearing this very sexy outfit.”
 
Ryder glared at his friend and tried not to growl. “What’s the big deal about that?” She had been wearing very sexy outfits every day for the past year. Although his favorite was the soft burgundy dress that could come undone with the pull of . . .
 
“It was all leather. Or it looked like it was all leather.” Art’s eyes started to twinkle. “You should have seen those boots.”
 
“I’ve seen the boots.” Ryder hated the boots. If he could rip them off her without touching Katie, he would have done so already.
 
“My wife calls them dominatrix boots. I think she asked Katie where she got them.”
 
He didn’t want to know if Art’s wife was getting in touch with her inner dominatrix. “Where did you see Katie?”
 
“At the gas station.”
 
That didn’t sound good. It was probably no big deal. It could mean anything, like her tank was empty. It could also mean that she was filling up for a road trip to Seattle. “Who was she with?”
 
“I didn’t notice,” Art answer dryly. “What’s with all these questions?”
 
Ryder reached for his cell phone again and hit redial. “I think Katie is doing exactly what I told her not to do,” he said as he put the phone to his ear. If she didn’t pick up, he was going to hunt her down.
 
“Knowing Katie, she’s probably doing just that.”
 
Ryder scowled at Art just as his call went straight to voice mail. He closed his eyes and slowly put the phone back into his pocket. He was going to find Katie and, if she was smart, she would be safely tucked away in her own bed.
 
 
 
 
 
Ryder didn’t find Katie, but he did find Jake at the Crystal Bend Café. His friend was enjoying the slice of hot apple pie in front of him and flirting with the honey blonde at his side. Ryder slid into the booth across from the couple. He gave a curt nod to the woman toying with a diet soda and his gaze narrowed on Jake. “Have you heard from your sister today?”
 
“No, and it’s been nice and quiet,” Jake said with a big, relaxed smile. “Just the way I like it.”
 
It was too quiet in Ryder’s opinion.
 
Jake dragged his attention from the blonde when he realized Ryder wasn’t leaving. “Something the matter?”
 
Yeah, a lot of things were wrong, but he couldn’t reveal all. Ryder drummed his fingers on the tabletop. “You didn’t give her the address for the bondage club, right?” He ignored the blonde’s jerk of surprise and the way she inched away from him.
 
Jake made a face. “I’m not stupid. Why would I want to help my little sister get into bondage? Anyway, you know what Katie’s like. She’s just asking these questions for attention.”
 
“I got a bad feeling she found the place.” And he couldn’t shake off the sense of impending doom. Katie was going to push back hard, any way she could.
 
Jake dismissed Ryder’s concern with a wave of his fork. “Even if she got the address, she wouldn’t use it. She’s not the type. She’s just teasing you. You know how she likes to push your buttons. She’s been doing it for years. Remember when she stole your leather jacket and wouldn’t give it back until you promised to drive her to school every day for a whole semester?”
 
“I’m not so sure.” He had given her a taste of kink last night. She may want more, with or without him.
 
“Trust me, Katie asked for shock value. It’s the way she gets attention.” Jake ate another big chunk of pie. Ryder glared at him. His best friend was obviously more concerned about his stomach than his sister.
 
“Then where is she?” Ryder demanded. He was used to worrying about Katie, but this was different. He would feel a whole lot better knowing she wasn’t doing something stupid just to prove a point with him. “Why isn’t she answering her phone?”
 
Jake paused, his fork in midair. “You checking up on her?”
 
“Call it a hunch.”
 
“If you’re so worried, why don’t you talk to Melissa?” He pointed his fork in the direction of the counter next to the kitchen. Ryder looked and saw Katie’s friend.
 
“Don’t you find it odd that she’s not with Katie?” Ryder asked as he rose from his seat.
 
“No, I find it normal,” Jake muttered.
 
“I’m going to find out what’s going on.” Ryder moved swiftly and cornered Melissa before she saw him coming. “Hey, Melissa. Do you know where Katie is?”
 
Melissa gave a little yelp of surprise when Ryder spoke. “Uh, hi, Ryder,” she squeaked as her gaze shifted away.
 
“Melissa?” he asked with a hint of warning.
 
“Well”—she lowered her voice—“if anyone asks, you tricked it out of me, okay?”

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