The Year of Living Shamelessly (31 page)
Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
“Then Ryder shouldn’t have kissed you passionately in front of the breakfast crowd on Main Street.”
“Good point,” Katie said with a smile. Ryder hadn’t cared where they were when he kissed her. She wondered if that was a sign of her getting under his skin and making him lose control.
She turned the corner with Melissa. Just as her friend had described, Ryder was pacing the sidewalk. She noticed that his agitation didn’t mar his athletic grace. He turned and came to a halt when he saw her.
“Hey, Katie,” Hilary said as she walked down the café’s front steps. “What did Jake do?”
“He just yelled a lot. Nothing I’m not used to.” She waved off the concern, but she felt knots building in her stomach as she looked at Ryder. Ryder’s reaction was worrying her a lot more than Jake’s.
Ryder’s body tensed at the sight of Katie. He studied her face for a clue about how she was feeling. He
knew
he shouldn’t have let things get this far—he couldn’t bear to see her looking so hurt when it was all his fault. “What did Jake say?”
knew
he shouldn’t have let things get this far—he couldn’t bear to see her looking so hurt when it was all his fault. “What did Jake say?”
“Oh, the usual.” Katie gave a shrug. “You’re his best friend . . . yadda, yadda, yadda. I’m not so sweet. Blah, blah, blah. I’m not good enough for you. . . .”
Ryder flinched and took a step back. Jake had said that? That was harsh. He had thought Jake was mad at
him
, but he was mad at Katie! That was uncalled for and Ryder couldn’t let it go unchecked. Maybe he should appreciate Jake protecting him, but he didn’t. Not when Jake thought Katie was the opponent. Ryder wanted Jake to always put Katie first. Always. No matter what. The moment he saw Katie home, he was going to hunt Jake down and make sure that happened from this moment on. Jake had to start looking out for her after Ryder left town, otherwise she’d be all alone.
him
, but he was mad at Katie! That was uncalled for and Ryder couldn’t let it go unchecked. Maybe he should appreciate Jake protecting him, but he didn’t. Not when Jake thought Katie was the opponent. Ryder wanted Jake to always put Katie first. Always. No matter what. The moment he saw Katie home, he was going to hunt Jake down and make sure that happened from this moment on. Jake had to start looking out for her after Ryder left town, otherwise she’d be all alone.
“He. Did. Not,” Melissa said. “What kind of brother would—”
Jake would, Ryder thought as disappointment crashed through him. He saw the flash of pain in Katie’s eyes and it nearly undid him.
“Come on, Melissa.” He vaguely heard Hilary urging Katie’s other friend toward the café. “Let’s finish breakfast and give these guys some space so they can get their story straight.”
Get their story straight? Ryder frowned at Melissa’s choice of words. He didn’t need any story. There was no need to lie about him and Katie. As much as he wanted to protect her, the truth was out and he wasn’t going to hide it. All he had to do was explain to Jake that blood was thicker than water.
Melissa’s eyes narrowed with confusion. She looked at Katie, then Ryder, then back at Hilary. “What are you talking about? What stories?”
So Katie didn’t kiss and tell. Interesting. He would have pegged her as the type who was generous with the details. Was their time together too special to her to share? Maybe that was wishful thinking on his part, but he liked his spin on it.
“Never mind and just come on.” She pushed Melissa toward the café entrance.
Ryder kept his eye on Katie, who looked increasingly uncomfortable with him. She was studying him beneath her lashes, clearly trying to gauge his mood.
Katie crossed one arm over her chest and held her other arm at her side. It was an awkward position that mirrored her discomfort. “I didn’t realize that I was so selfish pursuing you,” she said in a soft voice that only he could hear.
Ryder blinked with surprise. Katie was never selfish! “You weren’t.” What the hell else had Jake said to his sister?
Katie looked down at the sidewalk. “All this time I’ve been trying to prove that I’m the best woman—the only woman—for you,” she said with a wry twist of her lips.
“You never had to prove it,” he said. He already knew, whether he liked it or not. At times he felt like she was the worst, definitely the most dangerous woman for him. But that had never stopped him from wanting her.
“Oh. My. God.” Melissa’s blaring voice carried down the sidewalk. Katie’s mouth twitched with clear annoyance. Ryder glanced at Melissa and found her staring back as if Katie had sprouted another head. What was going on now?
Melissa pointed at Katie, ignoring how Hilary was trying to get her inside. “I just figured it out! You guys slept together! Why didn’t you tell me? To punish me because I couldn’t keep the whole bondage club thing a secret?”
Ryder closed his eyes as he heard the buzz in the café. First Darwin and now Melissa. By the time he left Crystal Bend, Katie was going to have the worst reputation in town. He opened his eyes in time to see every head turning to look out the café window.
“Gee, Melissa,” Hilary said. “Could you speak a little louder? I don’t think the people in Idaho caught all that.”
Melissa clapped her hand over her mouth as she blushed. “I’m sorry.” She dropped her hand, ran back toward them and threw her arms around Katie’s neck. “But this is great. This is—”
Ryder couldn’t care less about how Melissa felt. His and Katie’s relationship was none of Melissa’s business. He was busy trying to convince Katie that she hadn’t ruined his life. This was the trouble with small towns. Everybody interfered, interrupted and influenced every conversation.
Katie pushed Melissa away and waved both her hands, as if trying to get her friend to stop talking. Ryder frowned at Katie’s gesture. It was usually a sign of someone trying to stop information spilling out. What was she trying to keep quiet?
“Okay, Melissa,” Katie said as something that sounded like panic raised her voice. “We got it. You’re happy for us. Why don’t you go inside now?”
Ryder slowly looked from Katie to Melissa and Hilary. He felt the undercurrents between the friends and he didn’t like it. Melissa’s joy was out of place. What did they know that he didn’t? What were they keeping from him?
“What’s going on?” he asked Katie. He saw the flash of guilt before her cheeks flushed red.
“But this is reason to celebrate!” Melissa gave a congratulatory slap to Katie’s back. “You actually completed your New Year’s resolution!”
Ryder stilled. New Year’s resolution? What was Melissa talking about? New Year’s wasn’t for another couple of days. Unless . . .
His world slowly stopped moving. Having sex with him was Katie’s New Year’s resolution?
That
was what all this was about?
That
was what all this was about?
“What did she say?” he asked hoarsely, his gaze fixed on Katie’s face.
Katie stared helplessly at him, and he knew he hadn’t gotten it wrong. He’d risked every important relationship he had, broke his code of honor and gave Katie the wild affair she asked for.
All for a stupid New Year’s resolution.
“You were cutting it close,” Melissa continued, oblivious to the growing tension. “Only two days left, but you did it! High five, girlfriend!”
Ryder stared at Katie. He couldn’t believe he’d fallen for all her tricks. Maybe Jake was right about her. She wasn’t so sweet. In fact, she knew just how to hurt him.
CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Katie was horrified. Melissa often got in trouble for saying the wrong thing at the wrong time, but Katie never thought she’d act
this
dumb. Why couldn’t she keep her big mouth shut? Now everything was ruined!
this
dumb. Why couldn’t she keep her big mouth shut? Now everything was ruined!
Melissa kept her hands up for a few seconds until she realized no one was in a celebratory mood. She curled her fingers in her palm and hesitantly lowered her hand. “Did I just say something I shouldn’t have?” she asked in a small voice.
Hilary snorted. “Understatement of the year.”
Ryder’s gaze never left Katie’s face. It felt like he was searching for something underneath the surface. “New Year’s resolution?” he repeated dully.
Katie nervously licked her lips. How could she possibly repair the damage? “You are more to me than—”
He lifted his hand to stop the excuse bubbling past her lips. “It’s a yes-or-no question, Katie. Was I your New Year’s resolution?”
She couldn’t get out of this. She had to tell him the truth, and she didn’t even have the courage to look him in the eye. Katie glanced away and focused her attention where his truck was parked a few spaces behind him. “Yes.”
Ryder didn’t move a muscle. The quiet seemed to screech down her spine like nails on a blackboard. Katie looked up at him from below her eyelashes and then wished she hadn’t. He held himself erect and proud, as if he would crumple if he moved. The pain shone in his dark eyes and was etched in his face. He suddenly looked older.
“My resolution was about more than sex. I wasn’t aiming for a one-night stand or a fling,” she hastily explained.
“Really?” he drawled. “Your actions for the past week have said otherwise.”
She frowned, trying to remember. “When?”
“When you tied yourself to my bed,” he reminded her. “You announced you hadn’t planned to spend the night.”
Melissa jerked her head, her face turning bright red. It was only then that Katie remembered Melissa was still standing right there. She felt Melissa’s shocked look before Melissa scurried backward to give them some privacy.
“That—that—” Katie exhaled with frustration and tried again. “You can’t use that against me. I only said that because it seemed you were going to kick me out of bed. I was protecting myself.”
“It wasn’t obvious to me.” Ryder dipped his head and rubbed his hands over his face. “Why would you make me your New Year’s resolution?”
“You make it sound like it’s a bad thing.”
He lifted his head and gave her a look of disbelief. “That’s because it is! How would you have felt if I’d made a resolution to get you into my bed?”
She put her hands on her hips and thrust out her chin. “Honored?”
“Think again.” Ryder shook his head. “This is like making a bet or putting me on a to-do list. You weren’t being honest. You used me so you could cross the event off and move to the next item.”
“Oh, please.” He had no idea what she’d been through just to make the resolution, to even write it down. It was scary to decide to go after your greatest fantasy, knowing that you could go all out for it and never have it granted. “You act like it was so easy and unemotional. You have no idea how much courage it took just to flirt with you.”
His face tightened and his jaw was rigid. “I’m sorry it was such a hardship,” he said in a hoarse whisper.
Katie gasped when she realized what Ryder was thinking. Didn’t he know that she desired him so much it scared her? “You are twisting my words. I made you a New Year’s resolution because I have—” She pulled back just in the nick of time. “I have wanted you for years and I was too shy to act on it.”
“You didn’t have any problems this week.”
“That’s because having a New Year’s resolution pushed me out of my comfort zone,” she said. “But I still wasn’t making any headway. When I found out you were leaving for good, then I knew I had to do something drastic or I would regret it forever.”
He kept shaking his head. He couldn’t even look at her. “A New Year’s resolution,” he muttered. “A freaking New Year’s resolution. And all this time I thought you were so sweet.”
Just because she was shy and invisible, people automatically thought she was sweet. And now it sounded like that was the kind of fantasy girl Ryder actually wanted. “I can be sweet,” she said. It just didn’t come naturally.
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