The Year of Living Shamelessly (14 page)
Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
Hilary pursed her lips. “After your whole no-consequences speech?”
Katie fiddled with her hair. She wasn’t a hypocrite. If Ryder really wanted to walk away, she would put up a very sophisticated front and wouldn’t give him any drama. “Actually, he seemed kind of offended when I said that.”
“Katie, sweetie, don’t get your hopes up,” Hilary pleaded, her eyes filled with concern. “I don’t want to hurt your feelings . . .”
“I hate when people say that,” Katie muttered. “It means they’re going to lay it on me.”
“Ryder Scott is what you would call a lone wolf. He isn’t going to stay because he’s in your bed. It doesn’t matter if you had the best sex ever, or never got around to having sex. You’ve seen how he treats his ex-girlfriends. He has a short attention span and he breaks things off fast and clean. There is no guarantee that he will treat you differently. I expect that he’s going to leave you without a backward glance. Nothing you do or say will keep him here.”
“Ow,” Katie said dryly as the shaft of pain went through her heart. She liked to think she was a little more important to Ryder than that. She was different than the other women in his life. But, then, maybe she wasn’t.
“Not necessarily,” Melissa argued. “Ryder is teaching Katie about being a submissive. Hey, here’s an idea. What if she’s the worst submissive? I mean, really, truly horrible. He’s not going to leave her if she’s not ready to handle the bondage scene without him.”
Katie tilted her head as she thought Melissa’s idea over. She would rather be the best submissive Ryder ever had, but if she was good at it, he’d have nothing to worry about. “That might work.”
Hilary groaned and covered her face with her hands. “No, it won’t.”
“Think about it,” Melissa urged, leaning forward, her eyes bright with enthusiasm. “Ryder is very protective about her, and will see her through a rite of passage. Remember when he taught her how to drive because her dad basically gave up?”
Hilary dropped her hands. “Operating heavy machinery is way different from experimenting with kinky sex.”
“Well, I guess that depends on the guy you’re with,” Melissa said, “but my point is, Ryder isn’t going to leave until he knows Katie is going to be okay.”
Hilary shook her head. “I want it on record that I disagree with this plan. Vehemently.”
Melissa gave a sharp nod. “Noted.”
Katie pressed her fingertips against her forehead. “Okay, guys, I get what you’re saying. Basically, I shouldn’t get my hopes up.”
“Exactly,” Hilary replied. “You are in way over your head with Ryder.”
“Play it dumb,” Melissa said with a smile. “Give him a reason to spend lots of time tutoring you.”
“My advice is to play it smart,” Hilary said. “Change the rules on him. Grab for your dreams with both hands and don’t think you can come back for seconds!”
Katie whimpered. She liked both ideas, but each had its problems. She didn’t know what to do. Why did she think having a wild love affair was going to be simple and straightforward?
CHAPTER SIX
He was late.
Katie stared at the kitchen clock, willing it to slow down. Freeze. Not move until Ryder got there. He had said he would be there by eight o’clock and she had believed him. Ryder Scott always kept his promises. If he said he would be there at eight, he would be there at eight.
It was 8:15.
She gnawed on her bottom lip and peered out the window over the sink. Had he changed his mind? Or was this his plan all along? Had he set her up to trick her into staying at home, believing it was for her own good?
Now it was 8:16. Katie smoothed her damp palms over her hips. The burgundy wool dress felt warm and soft under her touch. This old wraparound dress was one of her favorites. She always felt good in it and wore it whenever she needed an extra boost of confidence. And she needed it desperately tonight.
But now she wondered if she was overdressed. That was the problem with Ryder being sixteen minutes late. She was second-guessing everything. Maybe she should throw on a pair of jeans and a sloppy sweater. That was probably what he’d meant when he asked her to wear something the “old Katie” would wear.
She didn’t know why he’d made that request. Katie knew he liked her new, sexy style. She could see it in his eyes.
Maybe he liked it too much,
she thought with a smile. Did he think he could control the “old Katie” any better? He was in for a surprise.
Maybe he liked it too much,
she thought with a smile. Did he think he could control the “old Katie” any better? He was in for a surprise.
Her heart gave a violent lurch when she heard the doorbell. Ryder was here. She was not ready for this.
What? What was she thinking? She was so ready for this. She was going to follow Ryder’s sexual demands and throw in a few challenges for him. She would exceed his fantasies and live out each and every one of her own.
Katie strode to the front door as if she hadn’t been pacing frantically for the past fifteen minutes. Her kitten heels echoed loudly as she crossed the hallway to reach the door. She saw Ryder’s silhouette framed in the window. He was looking away toward the street. Was he seeing if the coast was clear, or was he wondering if he should make a run for it?
It was strange that he was at the front door. The guy always came around back, enjoying a casual, open invitation to drop by at any time. Why was he using the doorbell and waiting at the front? It was so formal, and the change threw her off balance. Her nervousness ratcheted up.
Taking a deep breath, she unlocked the safety chain and opened the door. Ryder turned around and locked eyes with her. She couldn’t read his expression.
“Here,” she said, unsure what to say as she reached for him. Her movements were awkward and jerky and her spine was still pressed against the door. “Let me take your coat.”
Ryder was silent as he shrugged out of his winter coat. Katie was also aware that he hadn’t dressed any differently for this night. He wore a brown long-sleeved shirt, faded jeans and boots. She felt overdressed, but she had followed his request.
“How do you like my dress?” she ventured bravely as she took his coat. “Is this what you had in mind?”
His long, thorough appraisal felt like a caress as his gaze lingered on her curves. “Yes,” he answered gruffly.
“Yes?” That’s it? That’s all he had to say? She’d spent a long time getting ready for him. No detail was ignored. She hid her impatience as she hung his coat in the entry hall closet. “I don’t know why you have a problem with my new look.”
She didn’t hear him move, but suddenly his hands were flattened on the closet door, caging her in. Katie’s eyes widened, her heart pumping hard. He crowded, surrounded her, and she didn’t want to break free.
“I hate the rubber outfit because it’s not you.”
She scoffed at the idea. “It’s PVC and it’s totally me.”
“I hate the leather boots,” he continued as he trailed his hand along her arm to her shoulder. “They are for someone hard and tough.”
“I’m tough,” she protested. Okay, maybe not right now when she was melting at his touch.
“I like this dress because it’s you.” His hands were light and gentle as he stroked her hair before tucking it to one side. “Warm and soft.”
“That makes me sound very weak,” she said in a whisper, closing her eyes as she enjoyed his scent enveloping her. “I want to be powerful.”
“You have no idea,” he murmured, his warm breath wafting onto her neck. “And that’s probably for the best.”
Katie frowned at his cryptic answer. She opened her mouth to ask for clarification when Ryder pressed his mouth below her ear. His touch was possessive. She gasped as a fiery shower of sensations set off in her blood.
Ryder moved his lips along her earlobe. His tongue flicked the red jasper earring. “You’re wearing my Christmas present,” he whispered. There was no mistaking the satisfaction in his gruff voice.
“Of course.” Didn’t he know that she treasured every one of his gifts? She still had the first Christmas ornament he had ever given her. It was flaking with age, but it held a special, prominent place on the tree every year.
“Take me into the living room,” he told her softly as he tenderly kissed her cheek.
Katie tilted her head. Had she heard that correctly? She always had imagined him saying “take me to bed.”“Why the living room?”
“Katie”—ooh, how she loved the way he said her name. It was rough and low.
“Yes, Ryder,” she replied in a purr.
“A good submissive doesn’t question her master’s choices.”
Katie’s spine went rigid. “Wait a second. Did you just call yourself
master
?”
master
?”
“Tonight I am your master,” he whispered in her ear.
Master? That wasn’t agreed on. She knew he would be dominant, and she was looking forward to that part, but there was no freaking way she would call him Master!
“Do you have a problem with that?” He slowly turned her around until she faced him. He was so close, his forehead resting against hers, his big hands cupping her face. “I need to know now before we begin.”
Her brain was yelling that even though she was relinquishing control for a short time, no man would ever be her
master
. Her heart was a little uncertain. But when she opened her mouth, she replied weakly, “No. No problem.”
master
. Her heart was a little uncertain. But when she opened her mouth, she replied weakly, “No. No problem.”
She couldn’t tell if Ryder was surprised by her answer. She sure was! Katie wasn’t sure what she had planned to say, but she knew that if she didn’t sound one hundred percent sure, Ryder would leave and the opportunity would be lost.
“Take me to the living room,” Ryder repeated.
Katie licked her lips as she hesitated. She had a feeling he wouldn’t tell her again. She reached for his hand, sliding her fingertips over his callused palm. Threading her fingers with his, Katie led him into the living room.
Once she stepped inside the room, she understood his request. The lights were on in most rooms except this one. She kept them off to showcase the colorful, twinkling lights of the Christmas tree. Small, white lights woven in garlands hung from every window and doorway. A blaze crackled and glowed in the stone fireplace.
Katie went to stand in front of the huge Christmas tree and reluctantly let go of Ryder’s hand. She faced him and held her hands behind her back, hoping she appeared to be a good submissive. But she refused to bow her head or look down. She maintained eye contact as she waited for Ryder’s next move.
Ryder didn’t seem to be in a hurry, which bothered Katie to no end. Why wasn’t he eager? That wasn’t to say he was unaffected. She could tell by the rise and fall of his chest, the tension humming in the air, even the way he held himself apart from her, that he wanted to surge forward and grab her. But his self-control was stronger than hers.
Finally he took a step closer, his movement swift and sure. Her breath caught in her throat as she anticipated being swept up in his arms. Instead, he cupped her face with his hands again and pressed his lips against hers.
Katie closed her eyes, hiding the gathering tears that threatened to spill over her lashes. She had waited a long time for Ryder Scott to kiss her and it was worth the wait. Her skin heated as joy and desire flooded through her. Her knees bent and she struggled not to sag into him.
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