The Year of Living Shamelessly (35 page)
Read The Year of Living Shamelessly Online
Authors: Susanna Carr
Tags: #Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary
And for once the planets were aligning in her favor. It was as if the gods approved of her decision and were rewarding her with an extra day. When she and Ryder woke up they discovered that it had snowed and iced during the night. Ryder couldn’t leave until the snowplows came by and they hadn’t shown up yet.
Sometimes it paid to be a good girl. She rested her head against Ryder’s shoulder and curled up against him as they sat on the couch next to the fire. They enjoyed a lazy day alone.
She would have preferred to have spent the entire day naked in bed and blocking out the world with a couple layers of quilts, but good girls were too virtuous to have marathon sex. Damn those good girls. Instead of tying him up and enacting her wildest fantasies, she planned to do innocent things to pass the time, like cook breakfast with Ryder, and maybe watch TV or play cards.
Ryder held her in his arms and stroked her hair. Katie pressed her lips together and closed her eyes, trying not to follow her naughty instincts. She needed to think of something that wasn’t sexy. Nothing came to mind at the moment. All she could think about was how good it felt to be this close to Ryder, and how much better it would feel if they were skin to skin.
How had Ryder maintained his distance from her all this time? Was he superhuman? She was already a trembling mass of need. Ryder gently massaged the base of her skull, working out the tension with his fingertips. She wanted to purr and stretch like a cat, and that was just from a simple touch.
Now she was getting a better sense of the torture she’d put Ryder through. Maybe the gods weren’t smiling down on her. Maybe this was her penitence. She could ace this test. If Ryder had been able to do this for years, she could do this for a day or two. Definitely no more than two.
Ryder tilted her head and kissed her gently on the lips. Okay, good. Light kiss. She could handle it. She wouldn’t claw at him, or try to strip him bare at the touch of his mouth.
He kissed her again. His touch was gentle but exploratory. Her lips clung to his as he nibbled at her mouth. His fingertips glided from the top vertebrae and slowly down to the small of her back, and then slid back up again.
He was trying to kill her. That had to be it. Destroy her restraint inch by delicious inch.
Katie knew she should have worn more layers, or at least a bra under her sweatshirt. A bra would have been good. Or maybe jeans instead of sweatpants. She needed more armor and something that couldn’t slide off her body in a moment of weakness.
Ryder moaned with pleasure as she parted her lips and drew his tongue into her mouth. She hadn’t meant to do that. He just sort of slipped in. She needed to be more vigilant.
It was really important to show Ryder that she wanted more than sex, but her resolve was weakening at his every touch. The boundaries she had set had moved so far that now she had only one rule: Don’t be aggressive. She kept her hands to herself and she didn’t instigate any touch, no matter how much she wanted to.
Ryder’s hand slipped under her sweatshirt. The feel of his rough, callused palm on her soft bare skin made her shiver. Katie was getting to the danger point. If she didn’t move away right this very minute, Ryder was going to find out just how much she wanted him for sex.
But Katie didn’t move. It felt so good to be cradled in Ryder’s arms. She was addicted to his long, wet kisses. She needed him to touch her, cup her breast and rub his thumb hard against her nipple.
Katie moaned and arched into his hand, wanting him to squeeze her breast. She grabbed the back of his head, bunching his hair in her fists and grinding him closer.
No, no, no. She couldn’t do this. She had to show Ryder how much he meant to her besides sex. Katie reluctantly let go of his hair and pushed herself away. She was breathing heavily as she jumped off the couch.
“Where are you going?” Ryder’s voice was rough with desire.
“I need to check if the streets are clear.” She went straight to the window and stared outside. It was beginning to turn dark and there was still a blanket of snow in the street.
“That’s what you were thinking when you kissed me? Snowplows?” Ryder was sprawled on the couch and Katie looked away. His chest rose and fell and she could see his aroused cock pressing against his jeans. She needed to stay away or she would jump him.
“What’s going on, Katie?” Ryder asked quietly. “You asked me to stay and then you act shy around me.”
“I’m not shy with you. I’ve been trying to show you that I’m not just interested in sex.”
Ryder smiled wickedly. “That’s what you’ve been doing?” He threw back his head and laughed out loud.
Ryder had been wondering what was going through her mind. At first he thought she was shy about declaring her feelings, and then he’d considered the possibility that she now regretted it. But that wasn’t like Katie.
It wasn’t until late in the night that he suspected she was already distancing herself from him. It bothered him, but what else could he expect? How could she give herself so freely and completely, knowing that he would leave her soon?
But he had never thought Katie was trying to prove that she was interested in more than his body. Good to know, but she didn’t have to go to so many extremes. He couldn’t stop laughing. Only Katie would do something like this.
Katie glared at him, obviously not in a laughing mood. “It’s not funny. You said that I was confusing sex with love.”
“I was wrong,” he admitted quickly, doing his best to keep a straight face. He was willing to take the blame for putting that idea into her head. “You don’t need to prove it to me.”
She looked at him suspiciously. “You’re just saying that so I will go back over there.”
Katie knew him too well.
She frowned as his grin widened. “I’m serious.”
He was worried about that. She seemed very determined to show that she didn’t need to make love to him. He had to break down her resistance.
“So you won’t touch me, and now I can’t touch you.” Ryder rose from the couch. “I’m sure we can work around this.”
Katie crossed her arms. “I’m not trying to be difficult.”
“I know,” he said as he approached her. She was trying to show the depths of her feelings. He didn’t mean to test her. “And it’s very sweet of you.”
“There you go again. I am not sweet,” she insisted.
“I’m counting on that.” Ryder picked up Katie and swept her into his arms, heading for the stairs before she could protest. He loved the small yelp she gave as she grabbed on to his shirt.
“This is not a game,” Katie said as he took the first step. “I don’t know why you see this as some sort of challenge.”
“I’m not,” he promised as he climbed up the stairs. “I shouldn’t have said what I did. I’m sorry that you felt the need to hold back. And I know you’re not going to give up without a fight, so I need to wear you down.”
“By not touching me? Or me not touching you?” She scoffed at the thought. “I’d like to see you try.”
“It’s very simple,” he said as he entered her bedroom, the lust pounding through him. “I want to watch you.”
“Watch me do what?” Her eyes widened with comprehension. “Oh! You want to watch me touch myself?”
“Oh, yeah,” he said, his voice raspy, as he laid her down on her bed. The wicked excitement pressed against his chest before curling into his belly. He wanted to watch Katie pleasure herself with abandon.
Ryder saw that the suggestion excited her. She pressed her mouth shut as she blushed. “I don’t know if I should,” she murmured, rubbing her thighs together.
“Please?” he asked, his mouth against her ear. “I fantasized about this. Wondering what you would look like, lying in your bed, thinking of me.”
She gasped at his audacity. “And all you want to do is watch?”
Now that was a loaded question. He wanted more, lots more, but this was a good start. “I won’t touch you,” he promised with a smile. “You want to do this, don’t you? I can tell.”
She ducked her head. “What about you?”
“Don’t worry about me.” He wanted all the focus to be on Katie.
“You’ll have to get undressed. I’m going to need some inspiration,” she teased.
Ryder smiled as he pulled off his shirt. He was more than willing to fulfill that request. “You, too.”
He watched Katie undress. He didn’t think she intended it as a slow striptease. He could tell that she was a little nervous about masturbating in front of him. It was a deeply personal experience, and it required a level of intimacy.
Ryder was already naked while she stripped off her panties. His cock was erect and curving toward his flat stomach and it wouldn’t take much for him to climax. He watched Katie lay back down on the bed and he knelt on the edge.
“Touch yourself,” Ryder encouraged her in a husky voice. He wanted her to enjoy this moment, but was she ready to be this intimate?
Katie closed her eyes as she skimmed her hands along her breasts and down her stomach. Ryder clenched his hands into fists, wanting to touch her just like that.
As she glided her palms across her pelvic bone, Ryder noticed that she kept her eyes shut. He wasn’t going to request that she open them, even though he wanted to see her eyes. Maybe she needed this one veil of privacy, and he was willing to respect that.
Katie parted her legs and cupped her sex. She let the heat coat her hand before she started to rub. Ryder’s chest rose and fell, his breathing harsh and loud to his ears.
Katie boldly opened her eyes and their gazes connected. He couldn’t look away even if he wanted to. Katie grabbed her breast and squeezed it as she watched Ryder’s expression. His nostrils flared as the lust coiled tightly inside him.
“Touch yourself,” she told him. “I want to watch you, too.”
He felt a muscle twitch in his cheek but didn’t say anything. If he touched himself, this was going to end faster than he planned. But he couldn’t refuse. He wrapped his hand around his cock and started pumping in long pulls.
Katie seemed mesmerized by the sight. She rocked her hips as she played with her clit. Her finger flicked over the swollen nub in a light, fast touch while Ryder stroked his cock slow and hard. He bucked against his hand when he really wanted to thrust deep and hard into her. Katie wiggled her hips and parted her legs more, giving Ryder a glimpse of her hot and juicy pink core.
“I don’t think you’re going to last very long,” Katie said.
It was true, but she wasn’t going to last long, either. The lust glittered in her eyes and her skin was flushed. He could tell that the sound of his hand pumping his cock made her wet.
She let go of her nipple and brought her hand down to her slit. There was no hesitation or shyness at all. Katie wanted to show him how aroused she was. How much she wanted him. Her boldness made him hot.
“I think you’re going to be screaming my name in the next couple of minutes,” Ryder bragged, watching Katie dip her fingers into her wetness.
“What makes you so sure?” she asked as she parted her knees even farther and pumped her fingers inside herself quickly.
She was brazen and shameless, Ryder thought as he watched her every move. Katie loved showing off to him, and he couldn’t get enough. If he wasn’t careful, she was going to take total control.
Ryder leaned over to her bedside table. Katie looked like she was about to protest when he pulled the drawer open. He smiled when he saw what was hiding inside and removed the slim purple vibrator.
“How did you know about that?” she asked.
“I figured it out when you teased me about not having toys in my drawer.” He switched on the vibrator and it quietly buzzed to life. He smiled as he considered all the naughty things he could do to Katie with this.
“You don’t call this touching?” she asked and gasped as he reached down and rubbed the shaking toy against her inner thigh.
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