The Years After (26 page)

She could hear them moving around. Grunting here and there, as if something was very heavy, she also heard loud whirring noises and snaps.

“So, about earlier. I hope you realize I’d never hurt my wife. Ever. Not for anything. Olivia either.”

Derek didn’t answer. After the screw gun went again, however, he said softly, “I guess.”

“I appreciate what you did for my daughter.”

Silence followed his comment. Then, “What did I do?”

“You tried to protect her. You felt a threat and your first thought was to protect her. That’s how a man protects someone he cares about.”

Her heart contracted and hurt. Derek had no idea how to love. Or be loved. Or receive guidance. Or even do simple, ordinary interactions. His lack of normalcy was a rude awakening to her, and being around what she considered normal people and society was a rude awakening to him. He was like a lost little boy around her parents. He had no idea what to do with their parental authority. It was something Olivia always took for granted. Until now. Until she saw Derek with them. Seeing her dad take Derek under his wing, like the broken, frail bird Derek was, instead of pushing him away, or insisting Derek stay away from her, made her heart swell with love. Tony was the man she kind of “hand-picked” for her father at the age of eight. From the very first day, Tony never let her down, and he continued his unblemished record.

“But just so we’re clear, Olivia, and Gretchen, and really anyone would never be in physical danger from me. Okay?”

Derek didn’t answer at first, but later mumbled, “Okay.”

“Now, you distracted Gretchen long enough so she did not ream my ass out; so if we get this back up, and do it right, maybe she’ll skip the whole thing.”

Derek laughed. Something he rarely felt like doing. Olivia’s love for her boyfriend as well as her father kind of climbed up her throat, where it lodged before inspiring a river of tears.

****

“Okay, try it.”

Derek slowly let go of the cabinet. To his utter amazement, the damn thing stayed attached to the wall. Tony whistled and smiled. “Damn.” He slapped Derek’s back. “Damn fine job. Even looks good. Gretchen wants the whole remodel to start in spring, and it’s, as you know, January, so maybe I should leave things as they are until then.”

He was leaning over and cleaning up his tools. Before starting to gather up the sawdust strewn all over the kitchen, Tony sighed at the mess. He carried his stuff to his shop and came back. Derek felt a brush on his arm and saw Tony handing him a can of cold pop. “Here, kid, take a break.”

Kid.
He kept calling him that. Without any snarky, sarcastic connotation to it. He took the can and snapped it open, downing half of it. Tony laughed as he leaned back on the kitchen sink. Waving at Tony’s left side, he finally asked, “How did it happen?”

“Catching a football. Believe that shit? I was in and out of a war zone for eight years, and it was while I was supposed to be safe on base, throwing a damn football, when a suicide bomber got through. Killed three of my friends, injured me and two others.”

“Is it hard?”

Tony drank another beer, which he half downed. Derek’s stomach tightened. His dad only drank the hard shit. He hoped Tony didn’t get mean after drinking it. “Yeah. It’s hard. I didn’t handle it well. Olivia, was hanging around at Gretchen’s office and she started talking to me about two years after it happened. She made me start engaging the world again, because I hadn’t been for two years. And all along, I had this supportive, nice family in my parents and brother, but I could not hear them. I chose not to hear them actually. When I eventually came around, I felt lucky they forgave me. But Olivia was the first person who made me feel normal again.”

Derek never sat around discussing personal stuff before with anyone. He wasn’t sure what to say. No one ever talked to him. Not really. Not about problems, or their private thoughts, or terrible things that happened. Shit happened. He just continued forward without ever saying anything more about it. Even when it was about Max and him.

“How old were you when your dad died?”

Tony’s question was quiet and calm, but Derek’s stomach clenched all the same. He commanded his frantic thoughts to cease. Tony knew nothing. He was just asking a normal, curious question. Not prying, and not looking for blackmail or dirt.

“I was eight.”

“You said he was murdered?

Derek closed his eyes and downed the rest of the pop before crushing the can. “He was shot. In the chest.”

“Must have been tough on you.”

“Yeah.” He turned and concentrated on tossing the can into the garbage under the sink. “But even before that. He never really did much of the
dad
thing.” That was a total understatement. Derek had already spent more time with Tony in barely a week than he ever spent with his own dad. He was too busy selling drugs. Like father, like son.

Tony started to pass by him, but stopped and put his hand on his shoulder, giving it a good squeeze. “Thanks for the help. You’re a good kid.”

Inexplicably, Derek had to turn towards the window because his eyes suddenly stung terribly and his throat ached.

All he could think about was running again. Away from this family who could actually be as decent and good as they appeared. Just as the girl they raised was. A girl he didn’t deserve and could never keep. He ran whenever he was hurt or scared, but especially when he sensed he was going to feel something. But the only thing he might ever really feel again was because of this one girl.

****

On their last night at Olivia’s parents, she snuck into his room. Derek was sound asleep when he felt a hand sliding up his arm. His eyelids snapped open and he turned his head towards the weight sinking on the mattress next to him.
Olivia
. She sat on her knees wearing a large t-shirt that fell over her slim body, nearly obscuring most of her. She was tucked up against him like a kid hoping to cuddle with her parents. Her long hair settled around her chest. She tucked a strand behind her ear and her smile seemed shy and unsure.

“What are you doing?” he hissed. Derek was picturing the pain Tony most likely would inflict on him despite being one-armed. Never mind all the tools the man knew how to use. Finding Olivia in his bed at night? No. No way was he doing that. They had two perfectly private beds at her school, or in his apartment if she wanted to mess around. There was no reason to risk his health and welfare to do that. He sat up to tell her to leave, but had to keep his visibly awakening cock concealed under the covers.

“You scared me.”

He didn’t expect her to say that. He thought she was going to lean forward and start kissing him. Instead she set her forehead on his. They stared at each other for a long, pronounced moment. “How? When?”

“When you ran out of here. That’s it for you, isn’t it? How bad things were. You were abused, weren’t you? Your parents hurt you, didn’t they?”

He didn’t want to tell her yes. He didn’t want her to see him like that. A tragic victim. Broken. Ruined. Abused. But wasn’t he all those things? Wasn’t he so screwed up as to not recognize a teasing spat between two happily married people like her parents?

“Derek?” her voice sounded so soft and kind.

“Yeah. My dad… my dad was the worst. He used to beat us all. Me. My mom. Max.”

“What about your mom?”

“She wasn’t much better. Her cruelty came from her words. She was especially mean to Max. She always made fun of how he talked, and when he totally stopped, she ridiculed him all the time. She was a miserable human being, and passed out most days eventually. We looked forward to those days, because when she did, we were happy and felt like we could finally breathe.”

“Oh God, Derek. I’m so sorry.” She scooted forward and clung to his chest, wrapping her arms around him. He knew she wanted to give him her heart. As well as her goodness. He waited until his arms, almost of their own volition, embraced her and nearly smashed her against him when he held her so tightly. He slid down so they could lie flat. She let him. She also let him crush her to him in a crazy tight hug. Their long moment passed. His breathing hitched before he finally let it out. Her mouth sought his. Her lips were closed and soft as she touched them to his in a tender, sweet caress that lingered before she finally withdrew. She scooted over until she was straddling him. He gasped. She sat her bottom down on his erection and he groaned at the sensation despite the many layers of sheet, blanket, and underwear. He pulled her face back to his and stared into her eyes. She didn’t blink and he lifted his head off the pillow to meet her lips with his. This kiss was hard and demanding as their lips and tongues mashed together. He tried to obliterate his weakness and feeling like a victim in the hot, wet warmth of her mouth. He didn’t slow down, or let up. His mouth devoured hers more eagerly than he usually did. She let out a groan as their teeth scraped and their lips twisted and turned together.

He ran his hands to her hips, slipping under the big shirt, only to find she was completely naked under it. He groaned into her mouth as his hands cupped her small, perfect ass cheeks in each palm. He could almost palm each butt cheek, she was so slim. He kneaded and pressed her against him. The excessive heat soon produced sweat. He was so turned on, it was painful.

She leaned back and lifted her lips off him just long enough to press a small kiss on the side of his mouth. She continued trailing kisses along his cheek as her hands slid over his chest and caused goose bumps to break out over his skin. It was all so soft and sweet and the anticipation was almost as exciting as the act. She touched her tongue on the edge of his ear as her fingertips gently rubbed his chest. There was nothing all that wild or erotic about what she did, and it was more like affection than lust, but he nonetheless felt like coming right then and there.

She sat up and slid her hands down her body, catching the hem of her shirt, which she lifted over her shoulder, and head. Her hair caught on it and slid down her back in an almost sensually slow motion. She was naked. He just stared at her delicate body. So slim and tiny. Her skin was smooth and clear. He lifted his hands up and pressed on both her nipples at once. She leaned into his hands, her butt kind of sliding back and forth on his erection as she did so. He groaned, using his fingernails to barely lift and tweak her nipples. She bit her lip, ostensibly to silence her moans, although her face contorted as if she wanted to scream. He sat up so he could pull her chest closer and stick his mouth over the tight bud that strained toward him. It was big and rosy. There wasn’t much besides that for him to grab onto. He loved the way her skin felt in his mouth as he sucked and scraped his teeth and tongue over one nipple and then the other. Her hands burrowed into his hair until she was nearly suffocating him by pressing his head against her.

He slid his hand down between them, and kept his lower half under the covers. It was the perfect torture. He could feel her heat and pressure, but he couldn’t quite get into her. Her stomach quivered as his hand slid over it and a fingertip ducked inside her belly button. Then, out he came to the top of her black hair. He feathered his fingers through it and she squirmed at his touch, pressing her chest harder against his mouth, which still suckled her.

She lifted her bottom high enough that he could touch her seam. He ran his fingers over it with a soft, barely-there pressure. She whimpered and tried to press harder against him. She was wet and getting wetter as his hands played outside her entrance. Her hands combed restlessly and impatiently through his hair. He finally pushed two fingers inside her and watched her entire body react and stiffen. She fell onto him and moaned. He pulled his fingers in and out of her, time after time, while his mouth and tongue played with her nipple. She whimpered and twitched, nearly becoming completely incoherent before she finally pulled his mouth off her, and stuck her tongue into it with a delighted moan. Her body tightened over his hand as she shuddered and trembled.

As she came over him, he kissed her closed eyelids while using his hand to caress her back. She eventually came down off the orgasm and her body started to slouch before she leaned into him.

But the next second, she was twirling around and off him. She lifted the covers that were the only device keeping him remotely in control. A draft of cool air wafted over his legs and cock. Her gaze followed, and then her hands. She touched the base of him and put her hand on the end where she tugged and pulled. She even kissed it with her mouth and tongue. He shifted, raising his hips up towards her in urgent need when she came back and straddled him.

His eyes popped open. What was she doing? His erection was straining towards her and almost touching her. It was swollen and fat with need.

“I want to do it tonight, Derek,” she whispered in his ear. She laid herself flat over his body, putting her arms around his neck and her breath felt warm against his ear. Her bottom lay just inches from him. He could not think. He didn’t know what to do. He should… what? No words popped up to tell him what he should do.

He leaned back long enough to catch his breath. “You want to have sex? Here? At your parents’ house?”

She shrugged and ducked her face from his questioning gaze. “It’s my house too. The place I feel most comfortable. So yes, I want to. Just take the sheets off the bed in the morning, like any polite guest, and I’ll kindly offer to wash them since you were my guest.”

Should they? He shut his eyes and tried to think. He didn’t know. What did he know about the right or wrong time? Or the way to lose your virginity? But she made some sense.

He held her face in his hands, somewhat overwhelmed by her logic. He did the only thing he could think or say. He kissed her lips softly and said, “I love you.”

She set her hands over his. “I know. I love you too. That’s why I want to do this.”

He nodded and held her eye contact momentarily before gently rolling her to the side of him. He had to get up, erection and all, and find his wallet. Some condoms were still in there from the days when he literally slept with girls at any place, but his house. He never brought anyone to his apartment until he met Olivia.