The Years After (25 page)

“Making her former lover her stepson?”

“Yes,” Olivia replied as she flashed a huge smile. “Vickie is freaking crazy. Always was. That’s her and Donny’s daughter, Julia. It’s kinda hard on Julia.”

“I didn’t expect such fucked-up shit.”

She held his face. “It happens in every family, Derek. Not just yours. It’s human nature. Doesn’t mean you don’t work through it with them. You have them in your life despite it.”

Another life lesson from Olivia. Cousin Julia was a young girl, maybe twelve, who was quite stunning already. She had shoulder-length, blond hair and dark eyes and she followed Olivia, Kylie and Ally as if they were goddesses from heaven. She was intensely quiet and seemed habitually panged by her mother.

“Hey, alley cat. Rip out any fresh meat recently?”

Ally turned on Nate with a near growl. “You are such a buffoon. Screw off. Or better yet, go do your stepmother,” Ally snarled as she turned her back on Nate.

Nate merely laughed and gave her a good-natured shoulder bump. “Still as bitchy as always, huh, Ally? How does your asshole boyfriend manage to put up with it? You must give some amazing head, that’s the only way I could imagine your mouth ever shutting up.”

Derek was shocked when Ally’s mouth dropped open and she punched Nate in the gut. He harrumphed as he grinned from ear-to-ear.

Olivia leaned into Derek’s ear. “They fight all the time. Ally can’t stand him. He’s not so bad. He’s nice to Julia, so that helps his case in my eyes. Her mother has put her through a lot, and Julia suffered for it all. At least, the father and Nate are decent to her.”

Derek didn’t expect so much swearing and fighting or things of rather a shocking nature with some of Olivia’s relations. Yet they were all gathered here, mostly laughing and chatting. He met every single one and they were all polite.

The thing that totally threw him, however, was that Olivia didn’t act any differently with him or speak about him differently, whether they were alone, or with her parents, or like now, with the entire extended family. She was the same woman she always was with him and at all times. He kept his hand firmly in hers. She was his shield. His deflection. He stood next to her, clutching her hand like a kid squeezes his mother’s hand. He had no idea how to navigate through this world. The house, the relationships, and the normalcy of it all, remained foreign to him.

Finally, Olivia suggested they escape so they hung out with her cousins and Nate and even Julia. Julia was rather shy and kind of stared all around like she was fascinated by them all. While sitting in Olivia’s room, they all talked shit and Ally and Nate never quit fighting. Kylie smoked and drank the beer she snuck from downstairs.

This was, Derek suspected, what being normal was like.

Chapter Twelve

“FUCK! DEREK, GET OUT here!”

Derek was lounging in the media room while Olivia went shopping with her mom, aunt and cousins. Apparently, they all did stuff like that. They purposely got together on weekends and did errands just to see each other. He never thought a family could be a source of social activities. The angry yell from Tony thundered through the house. Derek jumped up like never before, not even for Quentrell, and stopped dead in the entry. What the fuck had he done wrong? He’d been there six days and only received kindness, care and respect. They talked to him. All the time. They inquired how he liked dinner, or slept the night before, and what he was doing that day. They freaking were nice to him. No one had ever been nice to him for six days straight. And now Tony was bellowing at him? He did not touch Olivia. Not since the first day there. Nothing more than a kiss or hug. Nothing. He wasn’t even sure why. He could not articulate any reason. Olivia had tried often enough and pretty hard to get him turned on to respond, but he always shoved her away and told her to stop. He was trying to be something he’d never been: respectful toward an adult.

But now? His reward was Tony screaming at him? For what?

He stepped through the kitchen until he found Tony, and stopped dead. Tony was under an empty cabinet, with his shoulder wedged beneath it and his one hand perched on the side. The thing was hanging off the wall. Derek blinked.
What the hell?
It was glass-fronted, which was pressing against the side of Tony’s face as he held it up.

“Grab the other side. I can’t hold the fucker; it’s going to smash down!”

Derek snapped to attention and rushed to the far side to grab the cabinet. Relieving some of the weight off Tony, he managed to maneuver to the other side. Slowly, they lifted it down to the ground gently, and without any breakage. Tony was sweating and wiped his face.

“Fuckin’ arm,” he growled, but sounded so angry and rude that Derek stepped back. He glanced at Tony’s empty side. He nodded at Derek as they both heaved a breath, “Thanks, kid.”

Derek’s only question was: what the hell was Tony doing? Why was he taking a cabinet off the wall?

“We’re remodeling the kitchen. It would save a butt load of cash to demo it myself. It’s just ripping shit off the walls, you know? No finesse needed there. Gretchen thinks it’s a bad idea. She wants me to hire someone to do it. Of course, she’ll have to say she was right now. I pulled the screws out, just to try it, but never thought it would weigh that much. She’s going to kill me. Look at that.”

The hole on the wall was rough and big where Tony busted the cabinet off. Derek realized then Tony was freaking out about what his wife would think.

“Think you could help me get it back up? They’re shopping, right? Should be a few hours at least.”

He stared at Tony. “You want to replace this? Didn’t you want it down?”

“Well, yeah, but not all busted up like this. She’ll give me a lecture about my arm again. Shit, aren’t there some things you don’t want Olivia giving you crap about?”

He stared at Tony and realized he didn’t know. He didn’t argue with Olivia. He was so lucky to be with her, he couldn’t say anything she did annoyed him. Tony paused and snorted, “Look, kid, I’ve seen the respect you give her. I do. But she’s got some annoying habits too. It’s okay to, you know, bitch about them once in a while. Christ, Gretchen is always right. Always. Sometimes, I do things that I know are stupid just to try and prove her wrong. Doesn’t work out for me, but I still do it. I think it helps me hold onto my man-cards.”

Derek arched his eyebrows. “You think I’m respectful?”

He paused from examining the back of the busted up cabinet. “Yeah. Do you think you’d be in my house if it were otherwise?”

“No, I guess not.”

“No, you wouldn’t. So what do you think? Will you help me?”

“We’re putting this back just so Mrs. Lindstrom doesn’t know you ripped it off?”

“Yes, because if she sees how badly I ripped it off, she’ll give me shit over it. She’ll be right, yet again. We do need to hire it out… I guess I needed the cabinet hitting me on the head before I’d believe it. Sometimes, I just wish it wasn’t so. Enough to do jackass things like this.”

“But isn’t that lying?”

He nodded. “There is a fine line. Sometimes it’s covering your ass, not lying.”

He stared at the broken, splintered wood on the back of the once whole cabinet. “How? How would you fix it?”

“Put a new back on, then rehang it. Not rocket science. You never work on stuff, kid?”

“No. Never.” Everything he ever broke stayed broke. Nothing was ever nice.

“So, let’s visit my shop and see what I got for some plywood.”

He followed Tony out to a metal building further off, toward the back of the yard. It was dusty and cool inside. He flipped the light on. “Fuckin’ arm, keeps me from using it all like I should, but a man can only pay for so much extra help.” He spent some time searching through the equipment and collecting tools and materials, which they brought inside the kitchen. It looked like a far bigger mess than what they started with. It would have been much easier, in Derek’s mind, to just let Gretchen be right.

“You ever use one of these?”

He glanced at the electric tool Tony was holding and shook his head no. Tony grinned. “You better use it. Two hands are better with this one. It’s called a Sawzall; it will cut the back off. Just follow the rim here. Careful. Get a feel for it, okay? That’s it. Yeah.” Tony sat off to the side of him as Derek worked. Tony guided him a few times, but let him work on his own mostly. The machine vibrated his hands and arms. It felt weird and jerky as he cut the back through the cabinet in a square. The splintered, fractured wood was easily torn off and the cabinet was now backless.

It looked worse than it did before they started. Tony began measuring and marking the sheet of plywood behind them. He had Derek cut it with the Sawzall again out in his shop. It fit perfectly. They used carpenters’ glue and clamps to keep the back secured, before it was attached with screws. Tony shook his head in amazement; he’d never even used a screw gun. One-handed, Tony could do it better and faster than he could two-handed.

“Tony?”

Just having attached the back of the cabinet, hearing Gretchen’s voice startled them both. They turned, and Tony jumped onto his feet with a guilty look that had Derek biting his lip. Tony was half as tough suddenly than he was an hour ago. “Gretchen! Uh, hey… sweetie.”

“What the hell did you do to my kitchen?” Gretchen enunciated her words slowly and exaggerated them.

Derek’s hands started to sweat.
God damn! Shit!
They were going to fight now. All the kindness and good will were really a pretense. It was all just a joke, like always. There was no way anyone really got along. Not for the long term. He knew that, didn’t he? He was merely lulled into a false sense of security by the pretty house and the pretty family, at least on the outside. Olivia was just behind them. He hated for her to see what came next. She had high expectations of people who didn’t deserve it. No one did. He grabbed her hand and started to go out of the kitchen. She glanced up, somewhat startled at his sudden presence and that he was pulling her.

“Derek?” she nearly squeaked as he tugged harder on her arm and nearly ran with her outside.
Run.
Running was always the best defense. There was no strategy for offense. That just got you hurt. And usually, you were unable to stop the hurt. Running was something you at least controlled. Running and deciding to say
fuck you
to the asshole who was just about to hurt you before you fled was the only policy that Derek followed. His one flair in life was his speed. Running all the time tended to increase it. They hit the front porch and started towards his car. His heart was smacking faster in his chest, and his legs felt suddenly light and free as the adrenaline rush pumped through him.
Run, run, run.
That’s all his brain heard anymore. Find safety.

****

What the hell were they running from? Olivia had no idea. A second ago, she was standing in the kitchen ready to laugh at whatever her dad tried to do, but couldn’t. Every few months, Tony would do something that no one else could have possibly done one-armed. But it was like he had to punish himself, or remind himself that he was indeed one-armed. And God damn it, he refused to let it interfere with doing whatever he wanted. He was one of the most stubborn men she’d ever known. Then, strangely all of a sudden, Derek grabbed her and nearly dragged her out of the kitchen. She followed him more from curiosity than any real logic. Finally, however, she halted and yanked her hand from his.

“Derek! Stop!” she nearly screamed. He froze and shifted towards her. His eyes had the same panicked look in them that she’d only observed when he discussed his past. And his parents. What could have happened with her parents to have brought that expression into his eyes?

Calming her voice, she stepped towards him and set her hand on his arm. He looked down at her fingers as if they were tiny snakes, ready to strike. “Derek?” she asked, “What is it? Why are you running?”

He seemed to snap out of whatever originally made him run. Shaking his head, he knelt on the ground and frantically combed his fingers through his hair until he locked them behind his neck. He stared at the cement driveway.

She knelt beside him. “Derek? Talk to me. What did you think was going to happen?”

He drew in a deep breath. “I just—I don’t know. I thought maybe they would…”

What? She nearly screamed at him. He never finished, or completed his thoughts when it came to the subject of what was wrong with him. What could be the source of such visceral reactions that he could not handle? What was he always ready to run from?

“Liv?” Tony’s voice came up behind them. His tone was quiet and Derek completely froze. Olivia could just see the side of his face where a blush was blazing over Derek’s cheeks. His pain, and now his embarrassment, made her heart crack in half. He didn’t know why he reacted that way. And yet, when he did react, he got totally embarrassed by whatever pain he expressed. She glanced back at her dad and shrugged her shoulders. Her eyes widened to convey she had no idea of what could be wrong with him. He shook his head in understanding before addressing Derek just as quietly, “Hey, Derek? I still need your help. Do you mind?”

Derek’s head swung up towards them when he glanced at Tony, but he deliberately avoided her. His embarrassment and shame were obvious. Finally, he rose to his feet. He cleared his throat, but only nodded. His shoulders slumped forward as he followed her dad inside. She caught her dad’s hand to make him pause momentarily. “Should I come in there?”

“Give him a few minutes, hon. I speak from experience. I still hate it when your mother catches me fumbling something because of my missing arm. A guy doesn’t like to look or feel weak in front of his girl.”

“Dad that was—”

He squeezed her shoulder. “Yeah, I know.”

Tears filled her eyes and Tony smiled at her in encouragement. Then he turned and went after Derek. She hung back before entering the house. She snuck towards the kitchen very quietly with only her socks on so she could slide across the tile floor. She stayed out of sight.