The Zombie Combat Manual (12 page)

OVERVIEW:
German German for “two-handed,” the
zweihänder
is a powerful sword that was allegedly used to break through the pikes and spears wielded by soldiers at the front lines of battle. Its most famous (or infamous) use was by Frisian warrior Pier Gerlofs Donia, whose mythic strength and stature enabled him to behead several opponents simultaneously with a single swipe of this weapon.

Swung by a stout and capable fighter, a properly-forged
zweihänder
, with a blade between four and five feet long, can cut down a pack of living dead. Crafted almost entirely of steel, this two-handed sword has an excellent life span, provided it is well maintained after each zombie engagement. Its heavier weight provides the ability to smash through bone and can swiftly decapitate undead opponents in combat. Certain models of this weapon also have a grasping ring at the crossguard, so that the sword can be more comfortably held by the combatant to punch through the skull of an attacking corpse.

A weapon of this size, however, requires extensive practice to brandish with consistent skill. Battle-ready
zweihänders
are also difficult to find and can be quite expensive. Do not err on the side of frugality by purchasing an inexpensive version of this weapon. Ensure that you patronize a reputable armaments dealer if your weapon’s intended use is against the living dead.

WEAPON VALUATION:
NAGINATA

EFFECTIVENESS: MODERATE
LIFE SPAN: 100+ ZOMBIE ENGAGEMENTS
SKILL LEVEL: VERY HIGH
AVAILABILITY: VERY LIMITED
COST: EXPENSIVE

OVERVIEW:
Many are familiar with a samurai’s two primary weapons: the longer
katana
and the shorter
wakizashi
swords. Few are familiar with the Japanese polearm, the
naginata
. Much like all polearms across cultures, the
naginata
was used primarily by foot soldiers against cavalry, where its longer reach could attack samurai on horseback. It is composed of a curved blade approximately three feet long mounted atop a shaft up to seven feet long, creating a weapon that is potentially ten feet in total length. Interestingly, the
naginata
was often wielded by female samurai and was popular among Japanese women in general, who used the weapon’s length to neutralize any advantage an attacker had in weight, height, or strength.

Like all long-range weapons, the
naginata
can be awkward to wield against the living dead. The traditional curvature of the blade makes it difficult to thrust straight into the skull. The
naginata
is more effective as a slashing weapon; decapitation of an oncoming ghoul is an appropriate tactic for this particular armament. You can also use special combat techniques with a long-distance weapon of this type; they will be explored later in this text.

With the rise in popularity of the samurai legend in film and pop culture, many unscrupulous makers have tried to take advantage of the public’s interest in Japanese weaponry by creating replica weapons. Thus, it may be easy to purchase a
naginata
blade that looks ready for battle but in reality would not last a single encounter with a zombie. Beware of flimsy imitations.

Fire as a Weapon Against the Undead

Much has already been written on the effectiveness of fire as a weapon against the living dead, so much so that we believed the subject required no further clarification. However, research polls indicate that much confusion still exists about the use of flame against a walking corpse. Therefore, we hope to clarify once and for all the efficacy of neutralizing a ghoul via incineration.

In a study conducted by IUCS researchers, dubbed “The Prometheus Sessions,” fifty undead test subjects were ignited with a variety of ordinary combustible compounds, including gasoline, lighter fluid, and alcohol (100 proof). Each of the immolated specimens was then timed to determine how long it would be before the subject fully succumbed to the flames. Forty percent did not yield to the combustion before the flames extinguished themselves and the specimen required reignition. The remaining sixty percent survived an average of fifteen minutes before finally collapsing. Additional testing showed figures consistent with these results, regardless of the flammable substance used or whether the initial detonation point was applied directly to the specimen’s head or to another part of the body.

Based on this research, let us assume a best-case scenario in which a zombie does indeed yield to the flames. It still would require an average of fifteen minutes before this occurred. Recall the information in the section on anatomy regarding the ambulatory pace of the average zombie. In fifteen minutes, an ignited ghoul could cover a distance of more than half a mile before falling. Should the corpse remain ignited the entire time, it could set everything it contacts ablaze, including your fortification, or even worse, other humans. The noxious fumes created from incinerated, infected flesh must also be taken into account when using fire as an offensive undead tactic.

As a result of these findings, the only recommended use of fire as a weapon against an attacking ghoul is at long range in an outdoor environment, where you have the time, safety, and surroundings to allow the inferno to do its work. There is also the possibility of combining fire with another long-range weapon that enables you to keep the ignited ghoul contained and at bay.

MEDIUM-RANGE/ MELEE WEAPONS

Just because you can pick it up and swing it doesn’t mean you should fight with it. I’ve seen weapons go flying from hands in the middle of a fight because they were too large, too unwieldy, or just plain wrong for the fighter. It may look like what I do is just pounding pieces of metal together until they look nasty enough to do damage. It’s actually more like designing a custom-made suit. No two people are the same, and no personal trait is taken for granted.

Your weapon should feel like an extension of your body. Reach, build, hand size, strength; these are only some of the things I consider when forging one of my creations. I don’t want it to sound mystical or ethereal, because it’s not. When it comes down to it, the tailor comparison is most appropriate. Sure, you can grab something off the rack, and it may fit just fine, but it’s nothing like having something designed for you. I’ve got it so that the minute someone walks through my doors, I can almost instinctively tell what’s going to work for them.

Most of the time, the choice is not so clear to the customer. There was this one woman who came to see me; she was about five foot three and couldn’t have weighed more than a hundred and ten pounds. Never picked up a weapon in her life, unless you count a kitchen knife. She walked out of my shop with an eight-pound war hammer. Last I heard, she’s racked up about two hundred notches on it. Both she and the hammer are still going strong.

—Simon, Weaponsmith, Cody, TX

Weapons within the melee class are typically between two and three feet long and are used to engage undead attackers at a distance of approximately four feet between opponents. At this combat range, you will most likely employ a melee weapon that falls into one of two categories.

Blunt instruments

Arms in this category include any object that can be used to cause a compound or depressive fracture on the skull and penetrate the brain cavity. They include but are not limited to formal weapons such as maces, war hammers, and cudgels, in addition to any number of improvised blunt-trauma tools.

Cutting implements

Any weapon with a sharpened single or double cutting edge falls into this weapon class, which includes swords, machetes, hand axes, and tomahawks. Bladed weapons of sufficient weight can be used to strike and penetrate the skull. Lighter weapons made of thinner steel may have difficulty penetrating the cranium and thus should focus on strike points around the neck area.

Given the choice of blade or bludgeon, which is the preferred medium-range weapon? We believe that blunt-trauma weapons hold a slight advantage at melee range. This conclusion has been drawn based on several reasons:

1.
Durability:
All bladed weapons require regular maintenance and sharpening, most frequently after prolonged combat operations. Even the reputable Japanese
katana
, an excellent weapon when properly crafted, requires several swipes over a sharpening stone after battle. An ordinary blunt instrument requires much less tending, and a well-crafted bludgeon even less so.

2.
Reliability:
Any weapon, regardless of its resilience, will eventually need to be replaced. This can happen over the course of days, months, or years depending on the weapon and extent of its use. Bladed weapons, on average, seem to depreciate much more quickly than bludgeons. This is mostly attributed to the fact that the primary attack area is always the undead skull. Even the thinnest, most delicate areas of bone will wear down the sharpness of an edged weapon after a modest number of strikes. A battle club, on the other hand, is typically crafted out of a single piece of iron or steel. Even bludgeons that are not of the highest quality will most likely outlast all but the most exceptionally crafted (and expensive) bladed weapons.

3.
Flexibility:
In order to extend the life of a bladed weapon for the reasons mentioned previously, it benefits you to focus attacks specifically on the softer muscles in the neck for a decapitation attack. With a bludgeon, it is the opposite. The neck will not be an appropriate target, but you have many more assault points on the ghoul at your disposal. This makes the bludgeon a much more flexible weapon in terms of target opportunity and weapon maintenance. In addition, bludgeons can be studded with spikes, knobs, or flanges that make brain penetration much easier.

Despite this recommendation, it is important to reiterate that weapons are still very much a matter of personal preference. Using a bludgeon may also require greater strength than an edged weapon, and therefore it may not be the preferred choice for more feeble individuals. It is recommended that you train with a wide assortment of implements and discover what works best for your specific physique.

The following are evaluations of specific melee combat tools you may consider as possible choices for your arsenal:

WEAPON EVALUATION: MACE

EFFECTIVENESS: VERY HIGH
LIFE SPAN: 150+ ZOMBIE ENGAGEMENTS
SKILL LEVEL: LOW
AVAILABILITY: LIMITED
COST: INEXPENSIVE

OVERVIEW:
With a combat history that spans over several millennia, the mace is one of the most ancient weapons known to humankind. Some of the earliest evidence of such a weapon has been found in Egypt, where stone heads were affixed to wooden clubs. The weapon’s destructive might increased dramatically with the advent of the Bronze Age, where the weapon’s vicious striking head could be crafted from metal rather than stone. During the Middle Ages, the mace became a popular weapon for its devastating power against the plate armor worn by knights and soldiers.